Tell me men...What is the truth?

[Lorrie]

Well, hello everybody! I am back. I posted two questions for the men before I left.

And now I don't know what happened to them....

They were simple enough. What attracts a man to a woman.
I expected answers like: "Their sense of humor." I like women who are caring and sensitive." or I am attracted to a women who is attracted to me......"

And to answer the second question was Yes, or NO, or I like em a little curvy, or, yes Skinny is the way to go for me....

But that just didn't happen... well it started to at the beginning and then I guess Mallory didn't like the answers?

Now, I sort of know what attracts a woman to a man, height weight cash in pocket good job? I guess....

And then abunch of junk as far as I am concerned cause it had nothing to do with the questions I had asked.

I guess I should not ask questions cause no one can give a straight answer on here. Or everyone takes a thread and removes it from the poster's perspective and makes it their own question and then answers it for themselves.

It was no big deal. I thought there were enough men on here one of em should be able to just say what attracts them to the opposite sex. Whatever it was.

I am baffled.

I am bummbed that I could not get a straight answer....
OR maybe I didn't get the answers I was looking for?
Hmmmmm......

Well thank you Mallory Clancy ThePhiant, Mykil, BraggiJeff, Willie, dectorlove and Mad "Miles" for trying I hope you all had fun!

But I still don't know exactly...
It was a serious question, for me to post and ask.

Anymen want to be serious and try again? If not, please by all means .... forget it.
~Lorrie

[Willie Lumplump]

Well, no. You put a "[ quote]" before the quote and a "[ /quote]" (note the backslash) at the end (without the space following the "[" ).

I've been fixing your quotes for a while now, Willie! No worries...

I will be doing a video demo of quoting in the next week or three.

Apparently I had my head up my wazoo when I read this. It's all crystal clear. It was my mind that was muddy.

[Willie Lumplump]

Anymen want to be serious and try again? If not, please by all means .... forget it.
~Lorrie

I thought I responded directly to your question in my post #14. What did I miss?

[jborges3]

My post was #9 and it was serious.

I don't have a black or white answer for you on what I like. There is no simple "yes or no" for many of us it seems.

I can tell you didn't like what you heard, but that doesn't mean our answers are wrong.

You could try being glad instead. Another way of looking at these answers is that many of us won't decide if we like you or not based on your dress size. Isn't that a good thing?

I thought there were enough men on here one of em should be able to just say what attracts them to the opposite sex. Whatever it was ...

I am baffled.

... anymen want to be serious and try again? If not, please by all means .... forget it.
~Lorrie

[Braggi]

I am bummbed that I could not get a straight answer....
OR maybe I didn't get the answers I was looking for?
Hmmmmm......

Mine was post #3.

I was bummed you never answered me or any of us.

Perhaps you could better describe what you were or are looking for.

I did offer to answer more questions, but you didn't ask any.

So?

-Jeff

[AllEars]

Exactly what attracts a man to a woman and makes him
want to ask her out?

Is it true the men are not really attracted to skinny women?

Have some fun guys, but be honest.

I remember back in the late 70s I participated in an exercise in a personal growth group some folks online will remember, lifespring. One exercise we did in about the middle of the five day personal growth experience, was to have to stand staring at a person of the opposite sex we are most attracted to.
I was ashamed as I was among a crowd of 5 or 6 guys looking at a very curvacious and lovely woman. Everyone else from 1 to 3 males were standing by and staring at a variety of woman in personality and appearance.

I tried to maintain an image of being a young yogi with wisdom and discovered I had one thing on my mind! In retrospect I probably really liked another gal who was more slim and less showy. But I knew I had to be honest with myself...I don't know what went through the woman's mind with all of us staring at her! When it came time for the woman to stand near and stare at the men, two woman did so with me and neither was the sexy lady
I stood and stared at. I have evolved since then...my lady is slim and kind of muscular.

[fluteman]

While I know my reply was a bit long winded, I did share that I admire calmness and that I am greatly attracted to a woman with a very mellow and non dramatic personality. Looks aren't as important to me as most guys I know.

But...if I was going to be really, really, really honest, when I first saw this thread, the first thing that popped into my mind was:

"Women who DO NOT POST ON WACCO!!!!" :eek:

Based of course, on the fact that I've several women approach me on this site who seemed to be more inclined to play mind games than come across as sincere. Keep in mind, however, since I've yet to initiate any even remotely potential romantic contact with any women on here, this type of behavior has struck me as rather odd...so I've just accepted that while there are many things I do like about this site, it is definitely not a place to look for romance, at least for me...

[Lorrie]

Well you show a bit of confidence. That is nice. I appreciate that you answered sincerely. That is what I was looking for, a simple answer. Yours is that you are attracted to a calm no drama type of woman and that looks are not as important to you. I also understand that you are attracted to women who do not post on WaccoBB because the women who do post on WaccoBB are not sincere and try to mess with you. I appreciate you taking the time to answer my sincere question.!

While I know my reply was a bit long winded, I did share that I admire calmness and that I am greatly attracted to a woman with a very mellow and non dramatic personality. Looks aren't as important to me as most guys I know.

But...if I was going to be really, really, really honest, when I first saw this thread, the first thing that popped into my mind was:

"Women who DO NOT POST ON WACCO!!!!" :eek:

Based of course, on the fact that I've several women approach me on this site who seemed to be more inclined to play mind games than come across as sincere. Keep in mind, however, since I've yet to initiate any even remotely potential romantic contact with any women on here, this type of behavior has struck me as rather odd...so I've just accepted that while there are many things I do like about this site, it is definitely not a place to look for romance, at least for me...

[Lorrie]

Wow! I find this fastinating! Thank you for sharing... It is kinda like life in motion too for real! I wonder what I would have learned from this excersise exactly....

I remember back in the late 70s I participated in an exercise in a personal growth group some folks online will remember, lifespring. One exercise we did in about the middle of the five day personal growth experience, was to have to stand staring at a person of the opposite sex we are most attracted to.
I was ashamed as I was among a crowd of 5 or 6 guys looking at a very curvacious and lovely woman. Everyone else from 1 to 3 males were standing by and staring at a variety of woman in personality and appearance.

I tried to maintain an image of being a young yogi with wisdom and discovered I had one thing on my mind! In retrospect I probably really liked another gal who was more slim and less showy. But I knew I had to be honest with myself...I don't know what went through the woman's mind with all of us staring at her! When it came time for the woman to stand near and stare at the men, two woman did so with me and neither was the sexy lady
I stood and stared at. I have evolved since then...my lady is slim and kind of muscular.

[Lorrie]

I know and I am sorry My timing got messed up. I am spur of the moment type person. The thought crossed my mind and I thought since there are men here what better place to put the question out. (captive audience so to speak) well I was also in the middle of clearing my desk for my two week vacation and went on vacation. No email anywhere I went. I don't have a laptop and my email is at work. sooo... I apologize. Yes you had a very good answer to my question.

You are attracted to skinny ladies as long as they look healthy, tall ladies, also short ones. The older you get, the more you are attracted to large ladies. So basically all types I guess...

You are attracted to women who are open with themselves in everyway. Their life, their bodies, their minds, their time.
You are attracted to a confident woman who is intelligent, honest and accomplished.

Thank you for your imput and time to answer.
By the way this is what you said in your email...I hope I understood it correctly:

I really do want to write an answer to this. It's complicated.

I'm attracted to skinny ladies as long as they look healthy. Anorexics need more help than I'm willing or able to give them. I like tall ladies. Also short ones. The older I get, the more I'm attracted to large ladies. Call 'em BBW or whatever, but not all of them. Just like not all of the skinny ones.

I want chemistry. I want to have someone look me in the eyes and see somebody in there. (Like you, Kali!) I want somebody to be attracted to me and not be afraid to show it or say it (not necessarily in public). I want to be welcomed into a woman's life and into her body. A woman who closes up when I get close will lose my interest quickly unless I learn why and how to build the trust required to grow past it. Don't be standoffish with me if we've gotten past early courtship. Don't play games. Don't cancel dates unless it's an emergency. I want to know I'm a priority in your life. I'll make you one in mine. Don't be unpredictable. I'll lose patience.

I want a woman who's comfortable in her body. One who likes her breasts just the way they are (unless there are medical issues and then I'll be very supportive of her decisions).

[edit] I want a woman who's sex positive. That means not ashamed about or afraid of sex. One who knows how to indulge in deep pleasure without a lot of emotional discomfort. I'd like to plan an evening where lovemaking is the number one priority. Forget about going out to dinner or watching a movie. Let's eat a nice meal, have a glass of wine and spend the rest of the evening in each others' arms.

I like intelligent, powerful ladies. Education and accomplishment I find attractive, though not necessary if we share values and have compatible spiritual paths. I want to grow with my partner(s).

Mine was post #3.

I was bummed you never answered me or any of us.

Perhaps you could better describe what you were or are looking for.

I did offer to answer more questions, but you didn't ask any.

So?

-Jeff

[Lorrie]

Yes and I thank you too for your sincere and honest reply, I guess my rant was to more include the on and on stuff that was off base to my question... Now let me review your answer:

You are attracted to a pretty face with an Earthy, natural something about them.
You are attracted to bright eyes, warm smile, long hair and nice feet.
You are attracted to fun, smart women and if you would want to kiss her, then you would ask her out.

You are not attracted to "skinny" gals, her size doesn't matter much you.
But with a very large woman you would have to be in contact on a regular basis or be put in a situation where you would be able to get to know her personality and see if she is smart, fun had bright eyes a warm smile and nice feet. And if you found out that she did indeed had these qualities that you are attracted to you may perhaps would then want to kiss her and ask her out.

Your answer that I got this from:
This man's eye is initially drawn to women that I think of as pretty. Earthy, natural, bright eyes, warm smile, long hair, nice feet.

If she is pretty, fun, smart and I want to kiss her, then I would ask her out.

I don't have a thing for "skinny" gals, her size doesn't matter much to me and I like woman of many sizes, though I doubt I would ask out a gal who was very over weight unless I met her through work or as a friend or something and got to know her that way first.

My post was #9 and it was serious.

I don't have a black or white answer for you on what I like. There is no simple "yes or no" for many of us it seems.

I can tell you didn't like what you heard, but that doesn't mean our answers are wrong.

You could try being glad instead. Another way of looking at these answers is that many of us won't decide if we like you or not based on your dress size. Isn't that a good thing?

Oh, this question I am asking is not about me, It is about what men in general are attracted to in general.
But even if you do not like me I know of tons and tons of people who do!
So no worries

[Lorrie]

May I guess that what you mean is to say you speak for all of your species?
Men are attracted to women who listen and take an active interest in his life and his ideas. Men are attracted to humor. Men are attracted to a woman who is upbeat and cheerful and are of a positive nature in general.

Thank you very much.

You said in post #14:
Generally (with many exceptions), men are interested most in women who are interested in them. A woman who wants to attract a man should show interest in him by listening to him and asking questions about his life and his ideas. After that, humor is a big attractant to a guy. Many women are cheerful, and many will laugh at a man's humor, but I find that relatively few women are truly witty. A woman who learns to be witty has a great advantage.

I thought I responded directly to your question in my post #14. What did I miss?

[Lorrie]

And Purple pig said he is attracted to a calm woman who can get wild. He is attracted to eyes and lips.

I am sorry I had a hard time at first separating the sincere with all the gobuilty-gook. I am finding my way thank you all.

Inner calm? Give me a woman with inner wild and the skill to use it. Depth of eyes? You'll never know what's going on in there. Give me lips.

[Lorrie]

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! I did not ask what men were not attracted to (which this is a very unattractive picture that is painted. I supposed I should dole out some sympathy but I just can find any right now, specially when you posted this experience to the world)

so I had to fly to NM a while back, on that cheapo-bring-your-own food-airline.
fluteman, you would have been in heaven.
I was seated next to this uglier than hell, fat-assed "woman"
she was so calm she wouldn't move an inch, it was all stuffed in her chair
she was very much into sharing, not only did she share her hairy armpit with me, she constantly tried to offer me some of her blubber while moving her arms
she didn't let those little farts get to her either, just everybody around her was gasping for air.
she didn't even loose her temper when she was paraded to 1st class and everybody else was cheering her on
a real champ
is that what you are looking for?

[Lorrie]

I suppose I was not asking about the result of a man's attraction but what that attraction was specifically. This I can glean that you are attracted to skinny women, beautiful, physically fit women, women who are confident and oozed sensuality.
Thank you for your answer and participation.

Personally I love skinny women. But, to answer your main question, I think the Law of Attraction governs who we attract. Who you are and what you focus on emotionally (particularly at the subconscious level...) determines who and what shows up around you.

It's a simple truth that trumps all the circumstances and complicated explanations. The world's great teachings all speak to this. It applies to money, jobs, friends, you name it. It also applies to romance. The bottom line is when you truly FEEL desirable (at your core), voila, you are!

I have known beautiful, physically fit women that tried everything and never got asked out. I have also known unattractive women that had throngs of men constantly around them. It was because they were red hot mamas, and they knew it at their core. They oozed sensuality, and the universe responded accordingly.

So, if you are looking for something "out there," make a change "in here," and out there will respond. It's magic!

[Lorrie]

I don't even want to touch this. Every adjective you can say is what attracts Mykil to the opposite sex!! I just doesn't matter! He is attracted to women! He has no preference specifically.

I personally have about every preference available to mankind! I really love being so versatile. Every shape size age out there is my type! When I look Women in general, I am just in alwayz just in awe and pretty much want them all! Willie Nelson Jr. Wrote a song on this subject I think. I REALLY REALLY REALLY LIKE GIRLS. I love this song, and it has become a theme of mine to no end. As far as fat or skinny, I see much beauty in both breeds and can really fantasize about either, fat bottom girls you make this rocken’ world go round! I pretty much well rounded myself, plenty of fetishes to keep me entertained for this lifetime and on into the next I am hoping. If not I can alwayz pick up a few more on the way!

The only think that I can say about asking a girl out is, I won’t do it if she is rude or insensitive toward others. If a woman is a happy go lucky type she has my complete attention and has my gratitude toward her. I wont even approach a woman that shows me just how bad the worlds is or is yelling at the little kiddies in a foul way. Not that there is anything wrong with that, just there is a way and a way not! If a woman looks at me with a nice smile, I will go out of my way to make myself known and approach her and see if there is an opportunity to make both of us happy and excited to no ends!

[Lorrie]

So you are attracted to calm personality, who is centered and doesn't let the little things in life get to her. You are attracted to some specific physical qualities that are not specified here. You are attracted to an honest character, and inner peaceful attitude. You are attracted to a mysterious woman. You are attracted to a kind, and compassionate woman.

Thank you Fluteman!

I find one of the most desirable qualities to be calmness. Of course there has to be some physical chemistry, but I can think of nothing more attractive than a woman who is centered and doesn't let the little things in life get to her. We all have our moments where we slip and lose our center (and perhaps our temper)...but then again, this is when our true character comes out! I've been around too many woman who are into playing games, flaunting, teasing, and swept up in unpredictable tornado of drama. Life is too short...

To better illustrate my point, I find women in bathing suits, lounging in the sun to be extremely, extremely unattractive. Now while this may have a lot of folks rolling their eyeballs at me, let me explain. I grew up as a very overweight person...as a matter of fact I was almost 150 pounds overweight in high school. It wasn't until I was older, a bit thinner and a lot of confident in myself that I started dating, but after such an experience I now see the world very different than most.

Physical beauty doesn't impress me one bit. In fact, if I were to be totally honest, I tend to be a lot more critical of really attractive people. We live in a society that seems to think that a hot body means that someone is somehow "good" or better than the rest. Where did this nonsense come from anyway? We put people like celebrities on pedestals...all the while people all over the world are starving, yet we invest enormous amounts of time and energy to prattle on about how Brittney Spears put on 15 pounds. Yipes indeed, are we that shallow?

So when I meet a woman who has that inner calmness...someone who doesn't show very much of themselves on the surface...I am drawn, hooked in, I want to learn more about them. A mystery...it is like a puzzle...where will the pieces fit...and even more wonderful, what will the picture look like when you look deeply? The girls in their bikinis lounging in the sun (look at me, I'm so beautiful!)...to them all I can say is "blah!". :)

But the inner peace that I mention here goes both ways. I've found that in many instances in my own life, having that inner zen like state is invaluable. You can buy the best clothes, the fastest car, and get a plastic surgeon to give you a perfect pair of breasts or a bigger, better something (viagra, anyone?), but you cannot put a price on being able to keep your cool under the most difficult of circumstances life may throw at us. The person teaching how to reach "enlightenment" with Eastern mysticism could be the biggest jerk in the world, meanwhile the best Christians may never go to church...

Kindness, calmness, compassion...and perhaps beauty...it might be last...or not at all if viewed with the heart instead of the eyes. ;)

[ThePhiant]

Actually, I was responding to fluteman's description of what he says he likes.
And I thought it would have been a good match. LOL, since he is appalled by attractive women. (reverse discrimination) and is looking for a calm presence in his life.

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! I did not ask what men were not attracted to (which this is a very unattractive picture that is painted. I supposed I should dole out some sympathy but I just can find any right now, specially when you posted this experience to the world)

[ThePhiant]

Lorrie,
I am curious, how do you do it?
this is the 2nd time that I am aware of that you post a very simple, innocent-looking and straightforward question and all of a sudden it turns into a raging debate that won't die down?
do you know something we don't know?

[Lorrie]

OH Ha ha then? :barfonu:

Actually, I was responding to fluteman's description of what he says he likes.
And I thought it would have been a good match. LOL, since he is appalled by attractive women. (reverse discrimination) and is looking for a calm presence in his life.

[Lorrie]

I guess that my thoughts are deeper than my simple mind was willing to accept! Or people are always pickin on me!

Lorrie,
I am curious, how do you do it?
this is the 2nd time that I am aware of that you post a very simple, innocent-looking and straightforward question and all of a sudden it turns into a raging debate that won't die down?
do you know something we don't know?

[jaywilder]

HI Lorrie,

For me it's a comination of things... after enough
positives add up it all depends on the look from her "eye".
If I see her seeing me and she smiles I usually always
approach her and say "hi".

Jay

[scorpiomoon]

What does writing indicate about the writer?

Here are a "few" of the things I noted while reading this thread:

Which of these do YOU consider female positive?

1. A man will ask a woman out for many reasons, usually for sex [at least legit but still objectifying]

2. I have also known unattractive women that had throngs of men constantly around them. It was because they were red hot mamas, and they knew it at their core. They oozed sensuality, and the universe responded accordingly. [more objectifying]

3. I don't have a thing for "skinny" gals, her size doesn't matter much to me and I like woman of many sizes, though I doubt I would ask out a gal who was very over weight [contradictory]

4. I was seated next to this uglier than hell, fat-assed "woman" she was so calm she wouldn't move an inch, it was all stuffed in her chair she was very much into sharing, not only did she share her hairy armpit with me, she constantly tried to offer me some of her blubber while moving her arms she didn't let those little farts get to her either, just everybody around her was gasping for air. [quite mean descriptives - hateful]

5. That is not what attracted me to her, I think it was more of that blonde/blue thing she had going on. The wit was 24/7 though and this did make it entertaining, yet she just wasn’t the greatest in bed, and I do love my bed! Believe me I will ask you out, just be prepared to be exceptional in the bedroom or I will move on… [more objectification]

6. ...I think that men's preoccupation with competition, status, and prestige predisposes them to satire... Not only satire, but violence, isolation and a whole host of other undesirable traits that will never be changed until women start rewarding men for being cooperative rather than competitive. [suggests women are responsible for how men think about and act toward them]

7. When a man who makes 30k a year teaching first grade is more attractive to most women than a lawyer who makes 300k a year arguing for a living, we'll see some major changes in the male behaviors we all know need changing. [suggests women are responsible for how men think about and act toward them]

8. I did go out with a man haters a few nights ago, it was all bad. She was really cute, I asked her out, and she said no, she had a boyfriend. I went on with my business, she walked over with a piece of paper and pencil, asked for my number and called me that very evening. WE went out the next day. I asked about her boytoy and got a “he had sex with another woman, I am not sure what I am going to do” ruse. OK! WE went to eat wound up at the beach and I continued to play with her we had allot of fun till we were done. THEN she became an evil man hater, I decided she was before we even went out but thought I would give her a chance to open herself up to me. She decided it was my entire fault that we went that far and how could I possibly take advantage of her and the situation. And that she was going back to her boytoy. All of this was in less than about ten minutes. Which is what I pretty much expected, it was a grudge f… [contemptuous and objectifying]

Keep in mind: These are the stories and comments you are choosing to share with the women and other men reading this thread. Of all of the things you 'could' have posted to indicate what aspects of a woman are attractive to you - why did you select these specific stories to post? This thread was started by a woman so consider what it suggests when this becomes your first and intentional response to a woman asking about attraction.

Mallory

Hey there since you started this I know where you are in other areas and, I have a great quote here that goes along I think with your #6 & #7 except, in reverse!!!
"The cult of Southern womanhood endows her with at least five totally different images and asks her to be kind enough to adopt all of them. She is required to be frigid and passionate, sweet, bitchy and scatterbrained. Her problems stem from the fact that she succeeds." This I think is women blaming men for their conception of how they are?? I doubt you think its funny but, you are probably writing me a poem....

[jborges3]

Yep, you got it. Thanks for your response

A gal's appearance is good for catching my eye, but not my heart. ;)

And since you really seem interested I'll tell you that there is a pretty thick gal I work with who wears tight jeans and I notice her every single time she walks by

Oh, this question I am asking is not about me, It is about what men in general are attracted to in general.
But even if you do not like me I know of tons and tons of people who do!
So no worries

heh, well my answer was about all women and of course all gals have a dress size (whatever it is) what I'm hearing from these men for the most part is that they don't pick women based on their size.

[Lorrie]

I think that is great! I don't think that men should worry about a woman's size. I know it helps to be a pleasing sight to a man. And what a world it would be if men went striaght for the inside a woman instead of the outside on first attraction. You just never know what is in the package...

[Zeno Swijtink]

I think that is great! I don't think that men should worry about a woman's size. I know it helps to be a pleasing sight to a man. And what a world it would be if men went striaght for the inside a woman instead of the outside on first attraction. You just never know what is in the package...

So now I wonder why "The Truth about Pit Bull Breeds!" is a thread "similar" to this one?

[Braggi]

... what a world it would be if men went straight for the inside a woman instead of the outside on first attraction. You just never know what is in the package...

I've heard that guys can get into big trouble with that approach.

-Jeff

[TayanaGirl37]

Awww..give it up. Check out the stuff that's come out in the last year on epigentics. I, for one, am unwilling to accept evolution as a scapegoat for my or your behavior. Being able to recognize our impulses and do or not do is a basic definition of human for me (aka that's my opinion). Or read Mary Oliver's poem about how the animals suffer no moral confusion (can't find it at the moment, or I'd include it.) What you accept as motivation and justification is completely up to you--that's the beauty of being adults with choice. Besides, having edginess and using it sometimes is like having all three utensils and not just a spoon.

Yes, hardwired because we evolved that way. Men who were successful competitors for resources and social stature have always been rewarded with the most desirable females.

I'm not blaming either sex, but I am pointing out that it's unrealistic to expect men to simply stop doing what they've evolved to do if women continue to reward them for being competitive, as women have evolved to do.

[Braggi]

Awww..give it up. Check out the stuff that's come out in the last year on epigentics. ...

Made me look ...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epigenetics

-Jeff

[shellebelle]

I think we'd scare them to death. Most women multi task even more so internally so if men saw that they'd think there was no room at the Inn for them and there always is.

No please keep noticing my blue eyes and my boobs - even if its not in that order!

I think that is great! I don't think that men should worry about a woman's size. I know it helps to be a pleasing sight to a man. And what a world it would be if men went striaght for the inside a woman instead of the outside on first attraction. You just never know what is in the package...