Sexual Abuse Epidemic at Brook Haven School (Open Discussion)

[zeninfinity]

Please watch the video of Oprah at the bottom of the page. The articles I've posted are on point as well. Please read.

Some awesome articles about this very situation. The statistics are in. K-12 sexual assaults are an epidemic!

https://www.the74million.org/metook12-one-daughters-trauma-and-a-familys-quest-to-prevent-school-related-sexual-violence/

https://www.usnews.com/news/education-news/articles/2018-01-08/the-metoo-movement-goes-to-school

Oprah's Speech!

https://youtu.be/fN5HV79_8B8

[b.w. rose]

Incidents at Sebastopol middle school bring #metoo into local focus

[Shandi]

FOOD for THOUGHT: (from Facebook)

From Jackson Katz: "I draw a line down the middle of a chalkboard, sketching a male symbol on one side and a female symbol on the other. Then I ask just the men: "What steps do you guys take, on a daily basis, to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted?"

At first there is a kind of awkward silence as the men try to figure out if they've been asked a trick question. The silence gives way to a smattering of nervous laughter. Occasionally, a young a guy will raise his hand and say, 'I stay out of prison.' This is typically followed by another moment of laughter, before someone finally raises his hand and soberly states, 'Nothing. I don't think about it.'

Then I ask women the same question. What steps do you take on a daily basis to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted? Women throughout the audience immediately start raising their hands. As the men sit in stunned silence, the women recount safety precautions they take as part of their daily routine.

Here are some of their answers:

• Hold my keys as a potential weapon.
• Look in the back seat of the car before getting in.
• Carry a cell phone.
• Don't go jogging at night.
• Lock all windows when I sleep, even on hot summer nights.
• Be careful not to drink too much.
• Don't put my drink down and come back to it
• Make sure I see my drink being poured.
• Own a big dog.
• Carry Mace or pepper spray.
• Have an unlisted phone number.
• Have a man's voice on my answering machine.
• Park in well-lit areas.
• Don't use parking garages.
• Don't get on elevators with only one man.
• Don't get on elevators with a group of men.
• Vary my route home from work.
• Watch what I wear.
• Don't use highway rest areas.
• Use a home alarm system.
• Don't wear headphones when jogging.
• Avoid forests or wooded areas, even in the daytime.
• Don't take a first-floor apartment.
• Go out in groups.
• Own a firearm.
• Meet men on first dates in public places.
• Make sure to have a car or cab fare.
• Don't make eye contact with men on the street.
• Make assertive eye contact with men on the street...."
• etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

― Jackson Katz
From The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women
and How All Men Can Help

Jackson Katz is an American educator, filmmaker, and author. He has created a gender violence prevention and education program entitled Mentors in Violence Prevention, which is used by U.S. military and various sporting organizations.
Copied and pasted and you can too.

[Shandi]

Would you post a copy of the email message about the Parent Education meeting on Jan 23rd? I'm curious about the wording. I also wonder about parents who aren't on the email list? I have a friend who rarely reads messages from the school, but checks the online school calendar.

...I posted the message sent by the school on Friday 1/5/18....

[zeninfinity]

Would you post a copy of the email message about the Parent Education meeting on Jan 23rd? I'm curious about the wording. I also wonder about parents who aren't on the email list? I have a friend who rarely reads messages from the school, but checks the online school calendar.

Today is Walk/Roll Day. They are actually encouraging kids to walk to school. Deny, deny, deny.

Sebastopol Union School District

Linda Irving, Superintendent
7611 Huntley Street, Sebastopol, California 95472
Phone: (707) 829-4570 Fax: (707) 829-7427
www.sebastopolschools.org January 5, 2018
____________________________________________________

An open letter to the Sebastopol education community:

Response to Sexual Harassment Allegations at Brook Haven School

[ This letter was previously posted here - Barry]

[rebecka]

First of all, I am so sorry you and your child have experienced this. I too have a child at BH and although I am not surprised by how this has been dealt with by the district, I am still quite shocked. I have seen over and over again how the district handles bullying but this is taking things to a whole new level. This is unacceptable, from beginning to end and things have to change.

[zeninfinity]

This is for the teachers of the Sebastopol Union School District.

https://www.whistleblowers.gov/know_your_rights

[Fortunecookie]

Where are the parents of these juvenile boys? I've heard little on this post about these kids parents and their involvement/responsibilties. Shouldn't they be brought in to help and have some accountabilty with all this??? Maybe make the parents walk with their sons to and from school each day .Just a suggestion.This could be a good start.

[Bob2]

I don't understand why you haven't contacted the parents of these boys. It sounds like you know who they are. I'm not sure if you are trying to say that the boys learned this behavior at school or that the school is responsible for the actions of all of their pupils. It's obvious something needs to be done.
By not going to the source you are trying to shift the burden to another school since the boys don't get any feedback from home, their actions will continue all the way into Analy and if your daughter is going there, she can expect a much rougher ride.
I would sue their parents and the school, that will send a message that you hold both parties responsible for not doing anything about the situation.
And for your daughter's sake, Jesus take her out of school until this is resolved instead of waiting till it gets worse!

[Shandi]

I'm still wondering about the email message about the "Parent Education meeting on January 23rd" to parents/guardians on the email list. Please share a copy with us.

All communication needs to be tracked, so it's not just hearsay. That's the importance of creating a paper trail of parent/guardian requests/demands for a "responsible, accountable" communication from the school, about specific written policy, and what's actually been done in these cases.

This Walk/Roll Day has been in effect for awhile, and I'm sure that their awareness doesn't extend to it making kids more vulnerable to bullying/attacks. But many of us can see that it does.

Today is Walk/Roll Day. They are actually encouraging kids to walk to school. Deny, deny, deny.
...
Response to Sexual Harassment Allegations at Brook Haven School

[ This letter was previously posted here - Barry]

[Shandi]

The parents would have to be hiding under a rock not to know what's happening. It's all speculation at this point, but they may have been advised by the school's attorney not to get involved by communicating with the victims parents. That makes sense to me, as something a defendant's attorney would do.

Not all parents are "helpful" in these situations, especially when the behavior reflects on them in a negative way. Are the parents "Trump supporters"? Trump personifies the example of "pussy grabbing" as desirable. Remember, these are just speculations on my part.

No one can force a parent to walk their kids to and from school, since it may negatively impact their work life, but maybe the boys could be made to use a transportation system, but that would have to come from a higher authority than the school.

The positive side of this is that the community is more aware, the girls are more aware of their rights, and the boys are more aware that their behavior has had some serious and undesirable consequences. This behavior is not going to be brushed under the rug. It's showdown time! I'm glad to see the community stepping up to support these girls and their parents.

Where are the parents of these juvenile boys?...

[suzanne108]

What time is the meeting on the 23rd?

[Imagery]

Just curious if you read what you wrote, or are you unable to click to follow a link to another waccobb thread where the letter is posted in its entirety?

I'm still wondering about the email message about the "Parent Education meeting on January 23rd" to parents/guardians on the email list. Please share a copy with us.

All communication needs to be tracked, so it's not just heresay. That's the importance of creating a paper trail of parent/guardian requests/demands for a "responsible, accountable" communication from the school, about specific written policy, and what's actually been done in these cases.

This Walk/Roll Day has been in effect for awhile, and I'm sure that their awareness doesn't extend to it making kids more vulnerable to bullying/attacks. But many of us can see that it does.

[Shandi]

The only letter I saw posted was a "response", not a copy of an email sent to parents regarding the "Parent Education Meeting on Jan 23rd". I've read through all posts, and haven't found it. Can you direct me to it with a link? Thanks!

Someone else has posted asking what time it is.

Just curious if you read what you wrote, or are you unable to click to follow a link to another waccobb thread where the letter is posted in its entirety?

[viajera]

The Brookhaven school website posts the Parent Education Meeting:Parent Education Meeting

Date: 1/23/2018
Time: 6:30 PM – 8:30 PM
Location: Brook Haven Library

The only letter I saw posted was a "response", not a copy of an email sent to parents regarding the "Parent Education Meeting on Jan 23rd". I've read through all posts, and haven't found it. Can you direct me to it with a link? Thanks!

[Shandi]

Seems like a "bland" title considering the seriousness of the education that needs to be done. It's a good thing Wacco members know what's up.

The Brookhaven school website posts the Parent Education Meeting:Parent Education Meeting

Date: 1/23/2018
Time: 6:30 PM – 8:30 PM
Location: Brook Haven Library

[Barry]

Just a heads up to those following this thread that a new thread entitled '"Epidemic" of sexual harassment at a local school?' has been started, that calls the premise of this thread into question.

[thatonetodd]

From what I can gather after reading all of the posts on two threads (!) on the topic of harassment in our local schools I have some outside observations:

1. This girl was touched inappropriately and felt she could not come forward - to the school OR her parents. That is a huge negative for BOTH parties.
2. The school held a Socratic Seminar - providing information, giving the students a voice, and provided them an avenue to report. VERY good. All schools should be so proactive.
3. This girl came forward first to her parent - good! She is speaking out about things that make her uncomfortable! But only after this seminar did she and her parents speak to the school, making them the last informed. Correct me if I am wrong, but actions can not be taken with zero information.
4. The school district then took corrective action. And because we are not party to the situation, we don’t know the full details of it, nor should we. These are children. Middle school is a very confusing time for everyone whilst they are going through it, and the best any of us can do is be an advocate for these kids so they come out as decent adults.
5. I called Brook Haven. They have a restorative discipline model, they use punishments like suspension when necessary. They seem open and willing to talk.
6. While I do not know what has happened in the past at BHS, I do know the climate for sexual violence has changed in our society. It does seem like the Sebastopol School District is on the front lines of empowerment, education, and providing our students a voice. Other school districts - in our area - are still functioning along the lines of a “boys will be boys” mentality, and refusing to give their female students any voice at all.
7. Zeninfinity - by choosing to attack this district and school, which you seem to know little about - especially their policies, procedures, FERPA, confidentiality, and staff - makes it seem like you have a lot of misplaced anger. I get that what happened to your daughter is TERRIBLE. It shouldn’t happen to anyone - ever. But your actions seem to have elevated this incident - where you are not shaming the needed parties - but shaming your daughter. Have you considered that by reacting in such an overtly negative way, your daughter will feel like she can not come to you in the future? (Just a thought - I am a total outsider here.)

[Stargazer]

Social media is like playing telephone when I was a child. The message starts out a certain way. By the time it gets to the last person, it is completely different. When one is seeking support of the community as well as attempting to raise awareness, it is unfortunate that there are those people who judge and attack the victim. Siding with the perpetrators and making the victim wrong is unempowering and defeats the purpose of justice and taking responsibility. Criminals need to have consequences for their harmful behavior or their actions will continue and escalate onto others.
Violence, abuse and trespassing upon another individual is wrong, sexual or otherwise.

[Bob2]

Hmmmmmmmm,
Todd why do I get the impression that you are NOT a total outsider here.
Is it because you just signed up a few days before you posted or is it because you only put the blame on the parent? You seem to have a lot of knowledge about the inner workings of the school while accusing the parent to have none. Did you get that info from the one phone call you made? Did you contact the parent too and get his side of the story? Why don't you give full disclosure about your relationship with the school, district, teachers and/or the parents of the errant boys. I think that would be fair.

From what I can gather after reading all of the posts on two threads (!) on the topic of harassment in our local schools I have some outside observations:

1. ...

[Imagery]

Per dictionary.com:

Epidemic: adj. extremely prevalent; widespread

Can someone with more time and the inclination cite how many reported cases there are in the last 5 years, how many children have attended the school in the last 5 years, and what the percentage is of children harassed in this school? I'm certain that several of you will cite unimaginable numbers of unreported cases, but how about we deal with facts instead of hyperbole?

While I agree that 0.00/∞ students is the only truly acceptable number of sexual assaults, unfortunately in reality, people choose NOT to respect others, choose NOT to obey the rule of law, and choose to do whatever they think they can get away with. From time to time, the criminals (these are not toddlers, therefore are criminals) should be held accountable for their actions.

[Kim Atkinson]

Hello. People in this discussion might be interested in this petition.

https://www.change.org/p/oklahoma-st...3052&jb=151632

[Dustyg]

Let's do it now!

[Tofu Larry]

Let's do it now!

Do what???

[Dustyg]

I was responding to the post before mine, where a link to an article about a school district which had drafted a position to sexual/bullying in the schools....go back before mine to read.

Do what???

[Shandi]

Is there a reason that no one has reported on the results of the "Parent Education" meeting at Brook Haven?
Is this "open discussion" now a closed one?

I was responding to the post before mine, where a link to an article about a school district which had drafted a position to sexual/bullying in the schools....go back before mine to read.

[Edna]

I attended the meeting and I wish that there had been more of an open discussion about the allegations made on this thread, which seem valid to me. I was particularly disappointed with the performance of the principal, I felt like she was talking over and around the issues. There seemed to be a lot of fear regarding honestly addressing the issues at hand.