Before Valentines Day happens think of this

[Thad]

The substance of Valentines day is bigger than its cultural orientation.

You can be alone with no prospects and fully celebrate Valentines Day.

Out of all your thoughts there is at least one that you know if you could give it to the world in the way it could hear then You just gave a Valentine to your True Love.

We need so many more people than our True Love to keep that love alive.


For this year Valentines Day should best have started at Halloween

when you chose a costume that represented the best of you

your formal tailored representation of what ever culture and historical era you felt best in.

but you wore that and represented that through the Holidaze

aiming at Valentines Day where your World was waiting to give you a Valentine.

---

I wonder what could happen if all the lonely people would no longer be that way

[Shandi]

I believe that "loneliness" is a state of mind that results from what we tell ourselves. It's defined as "feeling unhappy because you are not with other people". I don't think that being around people or being in a relationship is a cure for loneliness. (unhappiness)

I've honestly never felt lonely; maybe it's because I enjoy my own company, and don't look outside of myself for happiness. This doesn't mean I've never experienced sadness, fear, resentment, anger, depression, joy, excitement, satisfaction, or any of the feelings that are part of being human.

If we look to another person to provide us with desirable feelings, sooner or later we'll feel disappointment that comes with unrealistic expectations.

I remember one Valentine's Day when I was 14, and my sister said she felt sad because she hadn't received any Valentine's Day cards. Neither of us had a boy friend at the time. I asked her if she'd sent any, and she said "no". I remember thinking that her focus was on what she might get, rather than on what she might give. She could have changed her feelings, by changing her focus. I hadn't received any either, but I liked celebrating Valentine's Day as a tribute to love....all kinds of love that exist in the world (not just romantic love), and my belief that it's the love we give that makes a difference.

I propose that we can transform our loneliness through an act of love. Think of something you can do to bring the light of love to someone in the darkness (of pain, depression, hunger, cold, or injustice), whether it's a human or an animal.

Your potential "prospect" will become something greater than you could have ever envisioned in your wildest fantasies. If you've ever had your life changed by one person's influence, then you know the power you hold.

It's not even necessary to wait until Valentine's Day. Love can be gifted at anytime. Tune in to your heart.

The substance of Valentines day is bigger than its cultural orientation.

You can be alone with no prospects and fully celebrate Valentines Day.

Out of all your thoughts there is at least one that you know if you could give it to the world in the way it could hear then You just gave a Valentine to your True Love.

We need so many more people than our True Love to keep that love alive.


For this year Valentines Day should best have started at Halloween

when you chose a costume that represented the best of you

your formal tailored representation of what ever culture and historical era you felt best in.

but you wore that and represented that through the Holidaze

aiming at Valentines Day where your World was waiting to give you a Valentine.

---

I wonder what could happen if all the lonely people would no longer be that way

[Thad]

Remote controlled, all terrain wheel chairs, for those in our lives who are housebound and no longer can drive, or walk, or speak straight, to be able to drive an all terrain wheel chair in the country, a couple days a week might be a real nice Valentine,

I believe that "loneliness" is a state of mind that results ...

[Shandi]

Many Wacco members know Sahar, and may know of his blog: https://SaharSound/blogspot.com

In a recent blog, not the current one, but just before. He spoke about difficulties in relationship. I urge anyone in conflict with another, to read this.

I don't catch every blog, but I appreciate his wisdom. I commented in his recent relationship blog:

"I resonate very much with what you say. It's always my intention to be fully present with whoever I'm with. During my lifetime of 70 years, I've found that so many haven't been truly listened to. This deeply affects how significant they feel. In the moments I'm with them, I bless them with significance.

About 20 years ago, while working in a mall kiosk, demonstrating exercise equipment, a young man approached me. He was wearing headphones. He asked if he could try the equipment. After using it, he commented that it was really a good product. He sat down in the chair provided for customers, and began to talk non-stop about himself and his situation. He shared that he was bipolar, which I recognized because my brother was afflicted with the same illness, and had killed himself.

After about 15 minutes of this one sided "conversation", he stopped and took off his headphones, and said to me "You're really listening...." to which I simply replied "Yes".
Twently years later, I'm still listening, but there are times when I say, "O.K. I can't listen anymore today."

He credits me with saving his life, and I may have. The question I ask myself is "By saving his life, have I extended his suffering?" He's at the same age (40) that my brother was when he took his life. This young man has tried 5 times, without success, and not due to my intervention.

In addition to basic food and other needs, the most important thing I've given is presence. I'm the one person he can count on to listen once a day, to his freight train words that come like speeding bullets. It's as though he fears he might not be able to get them all out before his time is up.

If we're together in a space, he can talk non-stop for a half an hour or more, but after about 15 minutes, I raise my hand and indicate that I want a turn to speak. Even though his need greatly exceeds mine, I'm teaching him about 2 way communication.

Even though he's severely mentally challenged, he's very bright, and very compassionate. Many things I've given to him end up in the hands of the homeless that permeate his neighborhood in the San Rafael canal. I tell him that I can't afford to keep replacing coats, blankets, etc. He just answers "If you could see the suffering, you would do the same." And, I know he's right.

As Valentine's Day approaches, consider giving your listening "presence". You can't go wrong with this gift, because it transforms the other with the feeling of "significance" that they may have never felt.

I guess that's why we have the term "Significant Other".
__________________________________________________________________________________________

His current blog is also very valuable, and speaks to our habitual actions of buying things to feel better. I can also resonate to this. During long periods of depression, while trapped in a relationship, because of a physical disabiltiy which prevented me from walking without severe pain, I bought things online. And for a moment or two after they arrived, I was uplifted. But my day to day reality erased those momentary feelings.

After I had the needed surgery, and was out of my previous pain, I began to look for another place to live. I was faced with a mountain of "stuff" that I had to get rid of, to be able to move from a house into a tiny room. I called Salvation Army, and they took away 3 truckloads of stuff.

I think I've overcome my buying habit to make myself feel better. What also helps is a very limited income, and a very tiny room. I find myself in thrift stores when I do need something, and I notice the pull towards pretty decorative (useless) things. It's fun to appreciate and even touch them, but it feels better to walk on by.

I've recently been near the store "Birds Unlimited", and noticed beautiful birds feeding at a station. I'd never seen some of these birds before! It was so exciting, and such a "turn on"! I've decided that my next big "feel good" purchase will be a wild bird feeder. When I consider that this will attract and feed birds that may otherwise die of starvation, and in doing so I'll be blessed with a kalidescope of "living" color right outside my window, I know it's the thing to do. I'm saving my pennies, dimes, nickels, and quarters for this major "significant" purchase.

On Valentine's Day, there will be a bird "count" which is a national event. Birds Unlimited has the details on how to do this. This could be a fun activity for children and adults. This will make a great "low tech" gift for anyone, and a wonderful activity to share with your loved ones. Happy Valentine's Day to all.....

Remote controlled, all terrain wheel chairs, for those in our lives who are housebound and no longer can drive, or walk, or speak straight, to be able to drive an all terrain wheel chair in the country, a couple days a week might be a real nice Valentine,

[Thad]

The experience of having your world waiting to give you a Valentine exists

it happened to me today

I sold a car today to pick and pull in Windsor

Hitchhiking back between the buss stops I accidentally hitchhiked to a cop and he pulled over

I told him I didn't really want a ride from him

he asked me what I was doing and I told him

he asked me why I was there and I told him

he then offered me a ride to the county jail and I said no thank you very much anyway, he laughed and drove off

The substance of Valentines day is bigger than its cultural orientation.

You can be alone with no prospects and fully celebrate Valentines Day.

Out of all your thoughts there is at least one that you know if you could give it to the world in the way it could hear then You just gave a Valentine to your True Love.

We need so many more people than our True Love to keep that love alive.


For this year Valentines Day should best have started at Halloween

when you chose a costume that represented the best of you

your formal tailored representation of what ever culture and historical era you felt best in.

but you wore that and represented that through the Holidaze

aiming at Valentines Day where your World was waiting to give you a Valentine.

---

I wonder what could happen if all the lonely people would no longer be that way