Thanks Dad! May You REST in PEACE. Some Humor 4 You on Your Way!

[Jennifer Novascone]

Our father, Donald, passed away on Saturday, January 4th at 7 pm, and at the age of 86... lucid til the end. He had endured a long illness with diverticulitis, (too much meat and potatoes; freezer-fulls!) and other extenuating circumstances as a result thereof. He was among a fortunate few who passed quickly, only two hours after he lapsed, or so the nurse told us not many patients are lucky to go without a long fight for the body to surrender. We were quite surprised and happy for him. The priest gave dad his last rights, and as soon as he finished giving the prayers... dad was "outta there"; his last heartbeat just two minutes afterward. That was all he needed to get going.

I bet some of you can relate if your parent's have passed onward... If any of you care to share, I would love to know your parent's funniest quotes, even if they're still alive and kickin.

A few of my father’s best phrases to us four siblings, as well as, health care workers in the last month of his life were quite poignant, and yet hysterical. You have to keep in mind that he was very angry that he was losing his battle with his body's failing health, and I hear this is quite common with us mortals. I had to educate my siblings on this fact. I went through it with my fiancé ten years ago when he was dying of cancer. He threw a bowl of oatmeal at me and accused me of serving him wallpaper paste. He threw rocks at cars when they didn't stop for him in the crosswalk. He took a big "revenge shit" on his neighbors lawn; you name it. Who could blame them, right? When people want to live and they know they're going to die sooner then expected, well, it PISSES them off something fierce.



MY DAD'S FAMOUS SAYINGS IN HIS LAST MONTH OF LIFE... THERE'S MORE. Classic! I just can't think of them all. But please laugh with me, because this is "keeping it real-life".


1. "All of you kids are very, very smart... but not a single one of you has any common sense".

2. "Fuck you! I don't need a social worker". ........(keep in mind that my dad had no teeth and weighed a mere 100 pounds when he said this to the hospice social worker, so it was extra rancid to see a gummy lipped toothless 86 year old man telling someone to fuck off. Go dad!). I say this with bitter-sweetness. It was sad to see him like this, but we had to keep to the humor.

3. "I don't want anyone making speeches at my funeral service, but it's okay if they want to talk about me in the parking lot or outside the church".

4. "I have a list of people I don't want to be invited to my funeral service. If they show up, you'll have to turn them away."

5. "I'm not apologizing. I did nothing wrong. But if you're wrong, you can apologize to me".


It seems as if my dad was NEVER a nice man. But he was. He just got good and mad in the last four years of his life.

I LOVE YOU DAD! I know you're in a great and awesome place, where only love prevails, and all the bad stuff falls away. Thank you for teaching me many great lessons of love in my life and for being human and fallible too. I'll see you on the other side when my time comes.


Eternally your child... Jennifer

[Fillie]

My dad took a loooong time in a semi-coma state, dying at his home, of cancer. He was a curmudgeon and didn't like my airy fairy spirituality much. He seemed to be almost ready to go and hadn't spoken or opened his eyes in several days, long slow breaths, but I heard him mutter, "I can't, I can't, I can't figure out how to get thru the gate..." I thought oh good here's my chance to help him go. I said, "It's OK Dad, you can just let go, let go into the light, just go with it, everything is complete here, you can go now, you can just let go into the transition." He grunted, then opened one eye and peared at me and grumbled, "No, goddamn it, I am talkin about how you guys are going to get the damn kiln out of the back gate for the garage sale!!!".

Our father, Donald, passed away on Saturday, January 4th at 7 pm, and at the age of 86... lucid til the end. He had endured a long illness with diverticulitis, (too much meat and potatoes; freezer-fulls!) and other extenuating circumstances as a result thereof. He was among a fortunate few who passed quickly, only two hours after he lapsed, or so the nurse told us not many patients are lucky to go without a long fight for the body to surrender. We were quite surprised and happy for him. The priest gave dad his last rights, and as soon as he finished giving the prayers... dad was "outta there"; his last heartbeat just two minutes afterward. That was all he needed to get going.

I bet some of you can relate if your parent's have passed onward... If any of you care to share, I would love to know your parent's funniest quotes, even if they're still alive and kickin.

A few of my father’s best phrases to us four siblings, as well as, health care workers in the last month of his life were quite poignant, and yet hysterical. You have to keep in mind that he was very angry that he was losing his battle with his body's failing health, and I hear this is quite common with us mortals. I had to educate my siblings on this fact. I went through it with my fiancé ten years ago when he was dying of cancer. He threw a bowl of oatmeal at me and accused me of serving him wallpaper paste. He threw rocks at cars when they didn't stop for him in the crosswalk. He took a big "revenge shit" on his neighbors lawn; you name it. Who could blame them, right? When people want to live and they know they're going to die sooner then expected, well, it PISSES them off something fierce.



MY DAD'S FAMOUS SAYINGS IN HIS LAST MONTH OF LIFE... THERE'S MORE. Classic! I just can't think of them all. But please laugh with me, because this is "keeping it real-life".


1. "All of you kids are very, very smart... but not a single one of you has any common sense".

2. "Fuck you! I don't need a social worker". ........(keep in mind that my dad had no teeth and weighed a mere 100 pounds when he said this to the hospice social worker, so it was extra rancid to see a gummy lipped toothless 86 year old man telling someone to fuck off. Go dad!). I say this with bitter-sweetness. It was sad to see him like this, but we had to keep to the humor.

3. "I don't want anyone making speeches at my funeral service, but it's okay if they want to talk about me in the parking lot or outside the church".

4. "I have a list of people I don't want to be invited to my funeral service. If they show up, you'll have to turn them away."

5. "I'm not apologizing. I did nothing wrong. But if you're wrong, you can apologize to me".


It seems as if my dad was NEVER a nice man. But he was. He just got good and mad in the last four years of his life.

I LOVE YOU DAD! I know you're in a great and awesome place, where only love prevails, and all the bad stuff falls away. Thank you for teaching me many great lessons of love in my life and for being human and fallible too. I'll see you on the other side when my time comes.


Eternally your child... Jennifer