I am bisexual

[Willie Lumplump]

All this banter made me decide to come out of the closet and publicly declare my monotony.

I'm shocked!

[MsTerry]

I like monotony.
It's comforting, predictable and it can last for a long time.
I think it is considered Green too!

[Braggi]

So ... ... ?
[snip]
Without context, Edward, your statement looks like little more than a poor boundary definition.

I quote myself here since Edward was taken aback by my comment, others have seen it as negative, and it's been so long since I posted. I usually don't "hit and run," but life is pretty full these days.

First, I'll qualify by stating that I've known Edward for many years. He and I have shared numerous adventures and have watched each other's social and Spiritual (my term) growth over the years. I consider Edward a friend and confidant. I don't make the following comments in a vacuum.

I think I know Edward's intention when he made the original post and I don't think it was a positive intention. Edward makes brash statements from time to time intended to attack people who think differently from himself. Perhaps attack is too strong a word, but I think his intent in this case was to inflame people whose sense of morality would be offended by his statement. His hope was to begin an argument that justified the existence of his bisexuality as well as his right to state it in a public forum. In that he would have been supported by many open minded folks here on Waccobb, I don't see his statement as particularly brave nor the making of it as particularly risky. Again I say, "So?"

I don't think it serves a community to blatantly write large the differences from other communities. This is how fundamentalists define "the enemy." See most of the "books" known collectively as "The Bible," especially the "Old Testament." The purpose, in my opinion, of the Old Testament was to define "The Chosen People" and declare their differences from the "Other." Then justification was made to make war on the Other and take away its lands and wealth. The Earth suffers under these delusions to this day and, perhaps, to the point of its destruction. We can do better.

I doubt Edward considers himself a fundamentalist of any stripe, and yet I have seen him act like one over and over. I don't think it looks good on him or on anyone. I've done it myself and I usually regret it.

Edward could have set a context in which to discuss sexuality in general, or even the concept of bisexuality in particular, during which he could have come out in a gentle way instead of in an arm folded, jaw set, threatening way. "So there!" I would have been pleased to see it and would have participated in a very positive way. I personally think bisexuality is the most evolved form of sexuality and if more people were bisexual, or at least bi tolerant, the world would be a better place. I think that transition is underway and perhaps a new thread with a more gentle opening post could be created.

I've never understood Edward's need to separate himself from other people with the statements he makes. I see it as hostile, aggressive and unnecessarily so. Edward is a nice guy whose heart is in the right place, in my opinion. I think he truly wants the best for the world and its people. Hopefully his interface to the world will soften somewhat.

-Jeff

[Willie Lumplump]

I quote myself here since Edward was taken aback by my comment, others have seen it as negative, and it's been so long since I posted.-Jeff

Well, in any case, Edward's sexual preferences "neither pick my pocket nor break my leg," as Thomas Jefferson put it. So it's really a matter of little interest to me.

[Valley Oak]

Jeff and other community members,

Thank you (Jeff) for your kind and thoughtful reply as well as your confirmation of continued friendship, which I value greatly.

Yes, I do challenge peoples’ thinking on issues such as the war in Iraq, gay rights, abortions rights, racism, religion, politics, social programs, and just about any topic under the sun. These kinds of issues stir me emotionally; that is why I got my BA in Political Science at SSU in 2003 and am now pursuing graduate studies in the same institution.

I appreciate your view that I may be going about it the wrong way with the strong delivery that I have often used and you just might have a point I need to heed. I’m still learning just like everyone else and I think that growth is a process that everyone goes through until the day they die. When I post a “brash” statement, as you say, I do so to test the social waters and the general attitude of the community. I consider it a type of activism and maybe this is a mistaken strategy for social change.

Regarding the issue of bravery (and I honestly believe that this is a lesser point in this discussion), I agree that there is much more credibility in coming out face to face with folks, whether individually or in front of a group. But nonetheless, the Wacco forum is the environment that I chose, independent of the fact that there is an obvious and important factor of anonymity.

My name is Edward and I live in Santa Rosa and have been residing here with my family since 2000. I will be more than happy to shake hands with people at a Wacco picnic or other event as soon as the opportunity arises. (And if you don’t want to shake my hand then at least you will have a chance to see me in person).

One idea that I have been warming up to is one that is referred to as “context.” I don’t fully understand the idea other than that when I do have something important to say that I should try to include an explanation of some sort, preferably a long, detailed, and well supported one. The idea was originally lost on me because if I lived, for example, in the slave period of the United States then my tendency would be like that of John Brown; I would definitely be a very vocal abolitionist (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_B...bolitionist%29).

My entire life, since I was a child, I have had to listen to an endless number of grossly disparaging remarks about gays: “Fags are perverts,” “All queers will burn in hell,” “AIDS is god’s punishment for homos,” etc, etc, etc. I also went through an EXTREMELY difficult phase in my life when I was coming of age (becoming an adult) and desperately trying to identify my sexual identity because of a society that condemned homosexuality in no uncertain terms and ubiquitously.

Now that I’m an adult and I know that I’m not a pervert and that I’m not going to burn in hell despite what most of the religious community believes, I feel an intense and deep seeded resentment towards homophobic attitudes, something that I was deliberately trying to provoke in the Wacco list, to see if there are any in this community.

For me, coming out is very, very important and equally serious business. If someone is homophobic then I want them to know immediately who and what I am and if they are my enemy then I need to know this as soon as possible. I don’t want people telling me they are my friends or associating with me, no matter what the situation, without it being clear who I am if they hate gays. Some situations require more tact than others but ultimately I will prevail in coming out. Perhaps the Wacco community is too “easy” in this regard precisely because of the element of anonymity and being only able to see a text message without a physical person behind those words.

Regardless, I truly believe that I should be able to state my status even in the Wacco list but with the new consideration of “context,” which I’m still trying to get a handle on. For now, I will always try to include at least an explanation (if not also supported with good argument and/or references) rather than sending my explosive one-liners like Trident Missiles or something abrupt and disturbing to the community.

Thank you for listening,

Edward

I quote myself here since Edward was taken aback by my comment, others have seen it as negative, and it's been so long since I posted. I usually don't "hit and run," but life is pretty full these days.

First, I'll qualify by stating that I've known Edward for many years. He and I have shared numerous adventures and have watched each other's social and Spiritual (my term) growth over the years. I consider Edward a friend and confidant. I don't make the following comments in a vacuum.

I think I know Edward's intention when he made the original post and I don't think it was a positive intention. Edward makes brash statements from time to time intended to attack people who think differently from himself. Perhaps attack is too strong a word, but I think his intent in this case was to inflame people whose sense of morality would be offended by his statement. His hope was to begin an argument that justified the existence of his bisexuality as well as his right to state it in a public forum. In that he would have been supported by many open minded folks here on Waccobb, I don't see his statement as particularly brave nor the making of it as particularly risky. Again I say, "So?"

I don't think it serves a community to blatantly write large the differences from other communities. This is how fundamentalists define "the enemy." See most of the "books" known collectively as "The Bible," especially the "Old Testament." The purpose, in my opinion, of the Old Testament was to define "The Chosen People" and declare their differences from the "Other." Then justification was made to make war on the Other and take away its lands and wealth. The Earth suffers under these delusions to this day and, perhaps, to the point of its destruction. We can do better.

I doubt Edward considers himself a fundamentalist of any stripe, and yet I have seen him act like one over and over. I don't think it looks good on him or on anyone. I've done it myself and I usually regret it.

Edward could have set a context in which to discuss sexuality in general, or even the concept of bisexuality in particular, during which he could have come out in a gentle way instead of in an arm folded, jaw set, threatening way. "So there!" I would have been pleased to see it and would have participated in a very positive way. I personally think bisexuality is the most evolved form of sexuality and if more people were bisexual, or at least bi tolerant, the world would be a better place. I think that transition is underway and perhaps a new thread with a more gentle opening post could be created.

I've never understood Edward's need to separate himself from other people with the statements he makes. I see it as hostile, aggressive and unnecessarily so. Edward is a nice guy whose heart is in the right place, in my opinion. I think he truly wants the best for the world and its people. Hopefully his interface to the world will soften somewhat.

-Jeff

[mykil]

Hmmmm here is something I know all to well. The subject of coming out of the closet.
I grew up in Guerneville, right down the road. Ive seen changes! First it was the bikers then the gays moved on in. I never really understood what the big deal was! You are who you are. I have never understood why you would want to stay in the closet in this day and age?

I went to work last summer sometime, asked my dear ole ma where my son was, he was suppose to be working. She told me he was at the gay pride parade in the city; I was set back and started laughing. She asked me why I was laughing. I told her that I thought that before he should have the courage to go to the gay pride parade he should tell his dear ole dad he was gay! She got so mad at me! She told me he was not gay that he was bi! I was still laughing, as a matter of fact I am still laughing. And waiting! It is nothing
I want to bring up and ask him to make him uncomfortable but…
The only reason we new he was gay to begin with was my step daughter whom I raised as my own called me in hysteria laughing about what she had just witnesses. He has never told anyone, but she went to see him and he was yelling about my youngest daughter stealing his boyfriend. Before he new what he was yelling about he let the cat out of the bag. I told her she should go steal the boy from her this way he could say he had all three of the siblings. She is still laughing!

Coming out of the closet would have been easy for me if I where gay, and the number one saying in this day and time would automatically double you dating capabilities, I envy all you bi boyz and girlz, but again I am not so all you bi boyz stay the hell away from me!!! All you bi girlz I wanna watch!!! LMAO!!!

Each person in this life has there own issues, being bi is not an issue, cancer is an issue, aids is an issue, paying ones rent is an issue, being bi is just whom you are, be proud of it and don’t forget to tell your mom and dad!

[MsTerry]

hey Edward did you know that Roble means oak in Spanish?

[Willie Lumplump]

Hmmmm here is something I know all to well. The subject of coming out of the closet, etc., etc.

Ah! Humor and wisdom, what a delightful mix.

[Valley Oak]

Yes, that's why I originally chose that name. Then, when I realized that California has, what is in my opinion, the most beautiful oak in the world, the Valley Oak, I decided to change my Wacco handle accordingly.

Edward

hey Edward did you know that Roble means oak in Spanish?

[shellebelle]

I split off the various conversations that erupted here into:

The Element of Charity

and

Big Words VS Dumbing Down - Round 5

Please carry on in the appropriate thread!