Tell me men...What is the truth?

[Lorrie]

Exactly what attracts a man to a woman and makes him
want to ask her out?

Is it true the men are not really attracted to skinny women?

Have some fun guys, but be honest.

[purplepig]

Truth is relative. What I see as truth usually curls peoples hair.

A man will ask a woman out for many reasons, usually for sex. That can be a good begining, a casual event or a disaster.

I like skinny women. I am a man. This answers nothing except for me. What other men want or like is of little concern to me.

Truth is a good start to anything. Good luck.

[Braggi]

I really do want to write an answer to this. It's complicated.

I'm attracted to skinny ladies as long as they look healthy. Anorexics need more help than I'm willing or able to give them. I like tall ladies. Also short ones. The older I get, the more I'm attracted to large ladies. Call 'em BBW or whatever, but not all of them. Just like not all of the skinny ones.

I want chemistry. I want to have someone look me in the eyes and see somebody in there. (Like you, Kali!) I want somebody to be attracted to me and not be afraid to show it or say it (not necessarily in public). I want to be welcomed into a woman's life and into her body. A woman who closes up when I get close will lose my interest quickly unless I learn why and how to build the trust required to grow past it. Don't be standoffish with me if we've gotten past early courtship. Don't play games. Don't cancel dates unless it's an emergency. I want to know I'm a priority in your life. I'll make you one in mine. Don't be unpredictable. I'll lose patience.

I want a woman who's comfortable in her body. One who likes her breasts just the way they are (unless there are medical issues and then I'll be very supportive of her decisions).

[edit] I want a woman who's sex positive. That means not ashamed about or afraid of sex. One who knows how to indulge in deep pleasure without a lot of emotional discomfort. I'd like to plan an evening where lovemaking is the number one priority. Forget about going out to dinner or watching a movie. Let's eat a nice meal, have a glass of wine and spend the rest of the evening in each others' arms.

I like intelligent, powerful ladies. Education and accomplishment I find attractive, though not necessary if we share values and have compatible spiritual paths. I want to grow with my partner(s).

I hope that helps. Ask more questions you'll get more answers.

-Jeff

[Leelash]

I certainly don't have the answer to this but how about what attracts you to a man and makes you want to ask HIM out.

Try it. Sometimes it works!

[iaim2xl]

Personally I love skinny women. But, to answer your main question, I think the Law of Attraction governs who we attract. Who you are and what you focus on emotionally (particularly at the subconscious level...) determines who and what shows up around you.

It's a simple truth that trumps all the circumstances and complicated explanations. The world's great teachings all speak to this. It applies to money, jobs, friends, you name it. It also applies to romance. The bottom line is when you truly FEEL desirable (at your core), voila, you are!

I have known beautiful, physically fit women that tried everything and never got asked out. I have also known unattractive women that had throngs of men constantly around them. It was because they were red hot mamas, and they knew it at their core. They oozed sensuality, and the universe responded accordingly.

So, if you are looking for something "out there," make a change "in here," and out there will respond. It's magic!

[mykil]

I personally have about every preference available to mankind! I really love being so versatile. Every shape size age out there is my type! When I look Women in general, I am just in alwayz just in awe and pretty much want them all! Willie Nelson Jr. Wrote a song on this subject I think. I REALLY REALLY REALLY LIKE GIRLS. I love this song, and it has become a theme of mine to no end. As far as fat or skinny, I see much beauty in both breeds and can really fantasize about either, fat bottom girls you make this rocken’ world go round! I pretty much well rounded myself, plenty of fetishes to keep me entertained for this lifetime and on into the next I am hoping. If not I can alwayz pick up a few more on the way!

The only think that I can say about asking a girl out is, I won’t do it if she is rude or insensitive toward others. If a woman is a happy go lucky type she has my complete attention and has my gratitude toward her. I wont even approach a woman that shows me just how bad the worlds is or is yelling at the little kiddies in a foul way. Not that there is anything wrong with that, just there is a way and a way not! If a woman looks at me with a nice smile, I will go out of my way to make myself known and approach her and see if there is an opportunity to make both of us happy and excited to no ends!

[fluteman]

I find one of the most desirable qualities to be calmness. Of course there has to be some physical chemistry, but I can think of nothing more attractive than a woman who is centered and doesn't let the little things in life get to her. We all have our moments where we slip and lose our center (and perhaps our temper)...but then again, this is when our true character comes out! I've been around too many woman who are into playing games, flaunting, teasing, and swept up in unpredictable tornado of drama. Life is too short...

To better illustrate my point, I find women in bathing suits, lounging in the sun to be extremely, extremely unattractive. Now while this may have a lot of folks rolling their eyeballs at me, let me explain. I grew up as a very overweight person...as a matter of fact I was almost 150 pounds overweight in high school. It wasn't until I was older, a bit thinner and a lot of confident in myself that I started dating, but after such an experience I now see the world very different than most.

Physical beauty doesn't impress me one bit. In fact, if I were to be totally honest, I tend to be a lot more critical of really attractive people. We live in a society that seems to think that a hot body means that someone is somehow "good" or better than the rest. Where did this nonsense come from anyway? We put people like celebrities on pedestals...all the while people all over the world are starving, yet we invest enormous amounts of time and energy to prattle on about how Brittney Spears put on 15 pounds. Yipes indeed, are we that shallow?

So when I meet a woman who has that inner calmness...someone who doesn't show very much of themselves on the surface...I am drawn, hooked in, I want to learn more about them. A mystery...it is like a puzzle...where will the pieces fit...and even more wonderful, what will the picture look like when you look deeply? The girls in their bikinis lounging in the sun (look at me, I'm so beautiful!)...to them all I can say is "blah!". :)

But the inner peace that I mention here goes both ways. I've found that in many instances in my own life, having that inner zen like state is invaluable. You can buy the best clothes, the fastest car, and get a plastic surgeon to give you a perfect pair of breasts or a bigger, better something (viagra, anyone?), but you cannot put a price on being able to keep your cool under the most difficult of circumstances life may throw at us. The person teaching how to reach "enlightenment" with Eastern mysticism could be the biggest jerk in the world, meanwhile the best Christians may never go to church...

Kindness, calmness, compassion...and perhaps beauty...it might be last...or not at all if viewed with the heart instead of the eyes. ;)

[Deborah]

Not bad, I wish more felt that way...

Sincerely,
Deborah

[jborges3]

Exactly what attracts a man to a woman and makes him want to ask her out?

Is it true the men are not really attracted to skinny women?

This man's eye is initially drawn to women that I think of as pretty. Earthy, natural, bright eyes, warm smile, long hair, nice feet.

If she is pretty, fun, smart and I want to kiss her, then I would ask her out.

I don't have a thing for "skinny" gals, her size doesn't matter much to me and I like woman of many sizes, though I doubt I would ask out a gal who was very over weight unless I met her through work or as a friend or something and got to know her that way first.

[ThePhiant]

so I had to fly to NM a while back, on that cheapo-bring-your-own food-airline.
fluteman, you would have been in heaven.
I was seated next to this uglier than hell, fat-assed "woman"
she was so calm she wouldn't move an inch, it was all stuffed in her chair
she was very much into sharing, not only did she share her hairy armpit with me, she constantly tried to offer me some of her blubber while moving her arms
she didn't let those little farts get to her either, just everybody around her was gasping for air.
she didn't even loose her temper when she was paraded to 1st class and everybody else was cheering her on
a real champ
is that what you are looking for?

I find one of the most desirable qualities to be calmness. Of course there has to be some physical chemistry, but I can think of nothing more attractive than a woman who is centered and doesn't let the little things in life get to her. ...

[purplepig]

Inner calm? Give me a woman with inner wild and the skill to use it. Depth of eyes? You'll never know what's going on in there. Give me lips.

[boomerfashion]

Phlant,

I am fairly new to Wacco and do read it almost daily. I have to say I found your posting to be mean-spirited and indicative of insensitivity, anger, whatever. I'm not going to pretend to analyze your motives. I definitely understand the type of discomfort on a flight to which you refer and yes, it can be extremely unpleasant. Whether it's due to strong perfume, body odor, cramped quarters or just someone being overly chatty when I am trying to either read or nap. But really, Phlant, are you so fabulous that you think your (what appears to be) nasty comments to and about others I've noticed in this and your other postings are warranted?

Understand that I realize that not everyone is able to write in an accurate expression of what they are actually trying to say and if I am misunderstanding you, please accept my apology. It's just that this last post about the "woman" you describe was so unkind, I felt compelled to respond. Have you ever thought about what it might feel like to be inside of that body? And no, I am not overweight or particularly unattractive; so you can save any response that may allude to that.

If I had been in your seat, I would have been annoyed as well BUT I wouldn't have spewed the ugliness in a public forum.

Living on this planet can be hard enough, why trash some unfortunate person who has a difficult road to hoe as it is? You don't know why she is overweight or how she got there. Why not let it go and have a heart?

[ThePhiant]

AHA
so it is not OK to tell the truth about how people look or act??????????
then why didn't you use your self -righteousness to set the fluteman straight when he goes off on people that are beautiful????
yes successful people are an easy target, but his flat out public condemnation of those who try to take care of their bodies as opposed to those who just let it go is like you said " mean-spirited and indicative of insensitivity, anger, whatever."

Phlant,

I am fairly new to Wacco and do read it almost daily. I have to say I found your posting to be mean-spirited and indicative of insensitivity, anger, whatever. I'm not going to pretend to analyze your motives. ...

[Willie Lumplump]

Exactly what attracts a man to a woman and makes him
want to ask her out?

Is it true the men are not really attracted to skinny women?

Have some fun guys, but be honest.

Generally (with many exceptions), men are interested most in women who are interested in them. A woman who wants to attract a man should show interest in him by listening to him and asking questions about his life and his ideas. After that, humor is a big attractant to a guy. Many women are cheerful, and many will laugh at a man's humor, but I find that relatively few women are truly witty. A woman who learns to be witty has a great advantage.

[ThePhiant]

Many women are cheerful, and many will laugh at a man's humor, but I find that relatively few women are truly witty. A woman who learns to be witty has a great advantage.

that is quite a statement from somebody who can't come up with his own monicker

[mykil]

Wow, I knew your were a bit off there Willie, But I hadn’t figured you for a male chauvinist!!! LMAO!!! That has to be one of the most absurd things you have written their dude!!! Sounds like all women are beneath you, what’s next? If they don’t laugh at your jokes they are down right evil? LMAO! Peace and please try to remember, we are all equals. Even the WOMEN!!!!

A have had a few woman think this way recently also, so I can sympathize a little
I guess, crying on my shoulder, telling me it must be nice to be men cause our hearts can’t be broken! I just laugh and try to explain that we are all gods’ children, and yes even men’s hearts can be broken! It’s not true they say, so I go into detail about how it is people that get hardened, as we get older, or have many bad relationships. My heart has been broken soo many times, and it just doesn’t hurt anymore!!!! Well maybe a little! Not that I can’t fall in love, its just going to take a whole lot of Rosie!!!

Thinking that a woman needs to pay attention to you all the time in order for you to appreciate her is wild. Then with the idea’s that no woman is witty enough for you is just beyond the scope. What is a witty woman to do with you? I lovely ex was one of the wittiest people on this earth. That is not what attracted me to her, I think it was more of that blonde/blue thing she had going on. The wit was 24/7 though and this did make it entertaining, yet she just wasn’t the greatest in bed, and I do love my bed! Believe me I will ask you out, just be prepared to be exceptional in the bedroom or I will move on…. LMAO AGAIN!!!!

All people are different, all people like something different. If you don’t believe me just look at the many different couples you see walking down the street. The new studies are out. They took, I think, two hundred different people, put them together and by studying their nature, and guessed whom they would be attracted to. The results were astounding. They could just look at people and tell you whom out on the one hundred woman and one hundred men who would choose who. Nothing at all what you would expect, there was someone for everyone. Not just the bold and beautiful were chosen!

Of course Willie would choose the ones that think he is a god and beg at his feet for his attention… To each his/her own!!!!

Generally (with many exceptions), men are interested most in women who are interested in them. A woman who wants to attract a man should show interest in him by listening to him and asking questions about his life and his ideas. After that, humor is a big attractant to a guy. Many women are cheerful, and many will laugh at a man's humor, but I find that relatively few women are truly witty. A woman who learns to be witty has a great advantage.

[boomerfashion]

Hello,

I have to admit that I'm a bit confused as to the point of this whole conversation......does anyone out there think that one person's response to what he find's attractive in women even remotely has anything to do with what anyone else finds appealing? Maybe it's me who is missing the point....This is an honest question, not meant to be judgemental, although I realize as I write that it does sound that way. Maybe, Lorrie, you were looking for a different piece of information???

Just wondering......

[Willie Lumplump]

Wow, I knew your were a bit off there Willie, But I hadn’t figured you for a male chauvinist!!! LMAO!!! That has to be one of the most absurd things you have written their dude!!! Sounds like all women are beneath you, what’s next? If they don’t laugh at your jokes they are down right evil? LMAO! Peace and please try to remember, we are all equals. Even the WOMEN!!!!

I didn't mean my comment as a slur against women, and I stick to it. Much humor is satirical; watch any comedian on TV and you'll see this. And I think that men's preoccupation with competition, status, and prestige predisposes them to satire. Women, on the other hand, occupy themselves with forming connections, and while connecting may generate much cheerfulness, light-hearted banter, and good will, it doesn't tend to generate witty humor. For more details on the different life orientations of men and women, I refer you to Debora Tannen's best-selling books (Tannen is a linguistics professor at Georgetown University). In any case, I'm not trying to establish some natural law. I'm only speaking of trends and tendencies. I've known extremely witty women, and I've known wittiless and witless men.

[Barry]

Much humor is satirical; watch any comedian on TV and you'll see this. ...

I think that's the problem: TV poisoning! :tv:

The last I checked out the boob tube, I was aghast at how much of the "humor" was "satirical" put-downs, that is humor at someone else's expense. I don't know if this is part of the whole commercialization strategy (to make people feel inadequate so they buy more products) or that it's what garners the most eyeballs, but it's sick! Kill your TV and start treating people with respect!

[ThePhiant]

I didn't mean my comment as a slur against women, and I stick to it.

yeah Willie, you should stick to your patriarchal, Neanderthal way of living.
that is why Mykil got plenty of women, and you got NONE

[Willie Lumplump]

I think that's the problem: TV poisoning! :tv:

The last I checked out the boob tube, I was aghast at how much of the "humor" was "satirical" put-downs, that is humor at someone else's expense. I don't know if this is part of the whole commercialization strategy (to make people feel inadequate so they buy more products) or that it's what garners the most eyeballs, but it's sick! Kill your TV and start treating people with respect!

Maybe, but I wouldn't want to give satire a bad name. Jonathan Swift was a satirist. Mark Twain was a satirist. Thomas Nast was a satirist. Walt Kelley was a satirist. These satirists and a great many more have made major contributions to society. Take away satire, and you take away an awful lot of humor. I guess we could all laugh at people who slip on banana peels, but to me that doesn't seem very funny or illuminating.

[Willie Lumplump]

yeah Willie, you should stick to your patriarchal, Neanderthal way of living.
that is why Mykil got plenty of women, and you got NONE

I beg your pardon? Among the many complaints that I have about my life, a shortage of women is not one. Au contraire . . .

[Willie Lumplump]

Not only satire, but violence, isolation and a whole host of other undesirable traits that will never be changed until women start rewarding men for being cooperative rather than competitive.

When a man who makes 30k a year teaching first grade is more attractive to most women than a lawyer who makes 300k a year arguing for a living, we'll see some major changes in the male behaviors we all know need changing.

I'm not so sure it's fair to blame women for men's generally competitive nature. There's no doubt that many of these behaviors are hard-wired into the human nervous system, and that's why they're so hard to change.

[ThePhiant]

I beg your pardon? Among the many complaints that I have about my life, a shortage of women is not one. Au contraire . . .

name just one that can vouch for you

[decterlove]

I dated a woman once who had an extraordinary sense of wit. She was very petite, but pound per pound, I think she was at least 100 times wittier than Paula Poundstone...

She was so funny though all the time, that I think she actually burned calories making her various satiric comments non-stop almost 24 hours a day. Think Robin Williams on Steroids! I mean when we woke up in the middle of the night to pee or something she would start cracking so many jokes that it was very hard for both of us to get back to sleep. We'd get laughing so hard we would actually fall off the bed, and after regaining our composure and getting back on top of the mattress, we'd wind up falling off again! Bruise City, I'm tellin' ya...she was like an Extreme Sport!

It became slightly troubling to me at times, though, and I should have known that there would ultimately be a terrible price to pay for all this laughter we were having. She couldn't stop! She couldn't control her humor! She was a joke addict! She lived to joke rather than joked to live! And she kept losing more and more weight with each new joke she memorized until soon this very pretty little witty woman became a very witty itty bitty little bitty itty pretty witty woman. She became dangerously thin and she shrank vertically as well, as so much of her life force was now wholly devoted to this all consuming passion and purpose of her life. It negatively impacted our sex life also of course, because every time we would start making out...well you know...she would start making jokes!

Finally one night after she had reached nearly Lilliputian proportions, I woke up in bed and I could hear her cracking jokes and laughing very loudly (especially for such a now ultra super petite sized woman...at this point much, much, much smaller than your average sized store bought Barbie doll) but I could no longer find her in the bed. I jumped up and despite tossing all the sheets aside, and searching inside the pillow cases, and in the duvet cover, and even under the mattress, I just couldn't find her anywhere! I could still hear her fading hysterical laughter though and soft mutterings to herself...something about a priest and a rabbi going into a bar. It was eary.

I never saw her again after that but I did hear some neighbors laughing loudly down the street one evening a few weeks later, and have always wondered if they were laughing at her...or with her, perhaps...or just at That Seventies show...

I still dearly miss all the fun times we had together. I don't know if I've shed any further light on the original issue in question, but I had to get this off my chest...I've never actually been able to share it openly with anyone before....and it happened almost two months ago! thanks!

[Willie Lumplump]

Yes, hardwired because we evolved that way. Men who were successful competitors for resources and social stature have always been rewarded with the most desirable females.

I'm not blaming either sex, but I am pointing out that it's unrealistic to expect men to simply stop doing what they've evolved to do if women continue to reward them for being competitive, as women have evolved to do.

Good point!

[Willie Lumplump]

I never saw her again after that

. . . and she faded away until nothing was left of her but her smile.

[Willie Lumplump]

name just one that can vouch for you

Vouch for me? Vouch for me, you ask? Well, none, of course. If had ever found one to vouch for me, I wouldn't have needed the many others who wouldn't vouch for me. I think this is self-evident. I'm surprised that you needed to ask.

[Braggi]

Lorrie, are you getting anything of value out of this discussion?

I notice your absence.

-Jeff

[ThePhiant]

did your snake get to her??? (no pun intended LOL)

I dated a woman once who had an extraordinary sense of wit. She was very petite, but pound per pound, I think she was at least 100 times wittier than Paula Poundstone......