aphorisms

[wbreitman]

AN APHORISM:
A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE THAT EXPRESSES A WISE, OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR AGENERAL TRUTH, LIKE THE EXAMPLES GIVEN BELOW

1. The nicest thing about the future is . . .
that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog . . ..
but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humor . . .
you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining . .. .
as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is . . .
when you're in deep water.

6. Why does it take so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark .. ..
to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important . . .
because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions .. . .
you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a cat (or dog) . . ..
and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy (or girl) . . ..
who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins . . ..
the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m . ..
like, it could be the right number.

13. No one ever says "It's only a game" . . .
when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where . . ..
'happy hour' is a nap.

15. Be careful about reading the fine print . . .
there's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that . . .
not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years . . .
we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

18. Money can't buy happiness . . ..
but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Yugo.

19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint . . .
you're probably dead.

20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind . . ..
and the ones that mind don't matter.

21. Life isn't tied with a bow . . ..
but it's still a gift.