Houston Herczog, my beloved son--WE NEED HELP

[Sabrina]

Actually it's not true that one "can't get mental health" because they are violent and poor. If they are poor enough they qualify for something; not a whole lot of choices, but....

[meherc]

Marilyn, you are way off base to call me a liar. Everything I said was true. .

I'm sorry to have implied that you lied, however our experiences don't align. This is my last word on the subject.

[meherc]

if your kids are ,21 they have to call and make the apt themselves. That's pretty hard to do if you're a paranoid
schizophrenic. My son was not violent until he had the psychotic break. To 5150 them, they have to actually be in the act of threatening or hurting someone. The low cost clinics mostly had wait lists so I considered that to be pretty hard to get help when you need it if you are poor.

Actually it's not true that one "can't get mental health" because they are violent and poor. If they are poor enough they qualify for something; not a whole lot of choices, but....

[jesswolfe]

Um as someone who has dealt with mental health professionals, you would be surprised how often people fall thru the cracks. Psychiatrists and therapists are people and yes a lot of them have stigma issues with their clients. I am a pretty easy going person but in my time in the mental health system, I have been dumped by psychiatrists who didn't like it when I spoke up about my care or lack thereof. Its been surprising to find out what kind of things psychiatrists have said about me in their notes. I have met a few psychiatrists who are ok when their clients show simple issues but not every psychiatrist is able to handle complex cases. Truthfully I have only met two in my journey that I have a lot of respect for because they were honest with me and truly cared about how I am really doing.

And including violent behavior on top of the usual biases, its hard to get the right care. Yes if you don't have money there is help, but not a lot. The bar for qualifying for medical assistance is very high. While there are a lot of good programs in the county, there isn't a lot of people who qualify for it. And top that with the reality that it takes time to accurately diagnose someone in some cases. So it can take years to get the right diagnosis and treatment.

There is a great video about stigma that was produced with Prop 63 funds. It was shown recently on PBS. Its available online now apparently. Here is the link:

https://www.eachmindmatters.org/grea...view-the-film/

Blessings,
Jessica

Actually it's not true that one "can't get mental health" because they are violent and poor. If they are poor enough they qualify for something; not a whole lot of choices, but....

[jesswolfe]

I can imagine that there are a lot of people who are reading this thread who don’t know what its like to have a family member or friend who has schizophrenia. There are lots of misconceptions out there. I know you have probably heard a lot about mental illness and violence because of the school shooting last year. So here is some information for you to take a look at:

There is a schizophrenia simulation developed by Jansen Pharmaceuticals for doctors. They talked to people with schizophrenia to find out what they actually experienced when they had auditory and visual hallucinations. Its a virtual reality system that is designed to help doctors who have had no hallucinatory experiences of their own to know what their patients experience so they could better treat them. The first part of this video is what a normal person experiences. The second part of what a person with schizophrenia experiences. Very different.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWYwckFrksg

I have known a few who have been driven to the brink of suicide by the voices, especially if they are particularly vicious. Because they don’t always know what is real and what isn’t, the paranoia some feel can cause violent outbursts. However, the feelings that trigger the violence are fear, not usually anger. The hallucinations can cause a problem with treatment as well because the onset of hallucinations causes a lot of shame. They don’t want anyone to think they are crazy, delaying the onset of treatment until their life totally blows up. For the most part, the earlier the treatment begins, the better.

The problem, though, is that the medications don’t always work. They might work for one or two symptoms but not all. And in some patients they don’t work at all. On top of that the side effects of antipsychotic medications can be daunting. They can cause significant weight gain, type 2 diabetes, hormone imbalances, sleepiness, a blunting of affect. Therapy can be very helpful in learning how to use better coping skills to deal with the hallucinations, however, its hard to get therapy because the focus is so much on medications. Medications alone aren’t enough.

Blessings,
Jessica

[mamaj]

Barry you wrongly removed my post concerning Houston and his family. This was NOT hearsay info. It came from Marks' girlfriend of 7 yrs. who knows his family very well and she is truly heartbroken and devasted over what happened to the man she loved dearly. His girlfriend and I have been best friends,like family for over 40 yrs. It is obvious Houstons' mother has been acting out inappropiatly and continues to be abusive to Houstons' sister. His sister needs help and should not be living with her mother . She has to lock herself in her bedroom all the time to protect her self,she told Marks' girlfriend this . She really needs help,but there is only so much Marks' girlfriend can handle , this has been a nightmare for her to say the least.

[Malene Rander Comes]

Frankly, even if what you say is true, and I have no way of knowing it is true, this post is incredibly inappropriate. One thing is asking for help with letter writing to officials etc, but there isn't anything we on a message board can or should do about this. I suspect the whole family is traumatized, and I suspect all of them deals with the trauma differently, and probably not always in the most constructive way. We are after all, just humans.

If you truly care about the family then I suggest you look in to getting them some actual help - community resources, low cost / sliding scale therapy, what ever else they need. If there is something specific an online community like this can do, then sure, let's hear about it. If not, then it is time for the family to works towards as much healing as is possible, and that will not happen like this.

Malene

Barry you wrongly removed my post concerning Houston and his family. This was NOT hearsay info. It came from Marks' girlfriend of 7 yrs. who knows his family very well and she is truly heartbroken and devasted over what happened to the man she loved dearly. His girlfriend and I have been best friends,like family for over 40 yrs. It is obvious Houstons' mother has been acting out inappropiatly and continues to be abusive to Houstons' sister. His sister needs help and should not be living with her mother . She has to lock herself in her bedroom all the time to protect her self,she told Marks' girlfriend this . She really needs help,but there is only so much Marks' girlfriend can handle , this has been a nightmare for her to say the least.

[rossmen]

you want berry to reply publicly? i appreciate your info, really right for all? you are replying too all. is the grieving ex the right world? you know more than me or most and i appreciate your willingness to share, please do it in a way that doesn't trash those in the same place ...(

Barry you wrongly removed my post concerning Houston and his family. This was NOT hearsay info. It came from Marks' girlfriend of 7 yrs. who knows his family very well and she is truly heartbroken and devasted over what happened to the man she loved dearly. His girlfriend and I have been best friends,like family for over 40 yrs. It is obvious Houstons' mother has been acting out inappropiatly and continues to be abusive to Houstons' sister. His sister needs help and should not be living with her mother . She has to lock herself in her bedroom all the time to protect her self,she told Marks' girlfriend this . She really needs help,but there is only so much Marks' girlfriend can handle , this has been a nightmare for her to say the least.

[norcalgal]

I Agree with Berrys' actions!

Mamaj, whoever you are, this is not the place for this. This family, including Marks girlfriend, needs support and a safe place to heal in our community. Lashing out publicly is just cruel! If you are in her circle of support, that's wonderful and continue to do so. Marks death and Houstons actions, who is Marilyns son with Mark, has been a horrific blow to this family with rippling effect throughout the entire community. Please be mindfulful and move foreward with compassion in your heart for all.

you want berry to reply publicly? i appreciate your info, really right for all? you are replying too all. is the grieving ex the right world? you know more than me or most and i appreciate your willingness to share, please do it in a way that doesn't trash those in the same place ...(

[meherc]

I couldn't believe it but it actually is true that if the crime (or malpractice in this case) was committed in California and he beats it to Maryland, the case has to abide by Maryland law so, theoretically, he could just move to another state each time he gets a summons. These laws are weird. I just decided it was too hard to remember who I was allowed to talk to or smile at and who I had to run away from so I told all of them that I'm just going to tell the truth, consistently, and if the "wrong" person heard it , so what?

[meherc]

I think the judge has a crush on Bob, the prosecutor. I know I'm supposed to hate him but he was a pretty nice guy with me when we talked privately -not about the case -. He's doing his job and I think Ravitch is the pupppetmaster. Bob would check in with me because I was so depressed, ask me if he needed to send someone out to check on me. I told him that if he was playing some lawyerly trick on me, it would come back to him, with karma. I said I don't want to be lied to. He promised me that we might not always agree but he would always tell me the truth. I said good enough for me and I will do the same.

He asked me what he could do to help and I said well, you could bring Mark back from the dead, give me some moneybecause I don't have any now, you could help me send Savannah to college, you could send someone out to take care of me like my mother and you could put my son in the hospital instead of in prison. Give me my life, my family back. He said he wished he could do all that for me but he can't . He was really quite gentle with me after saying he would have to rip me apart on the stand and I said -look at the last year-there's nothing you could ask me that I would be afraid to answer. Remember, Honesty? He asked me 2 questions and that was it. And I was the last witness so not much room for ripping anyone else up, I said, wait a minute, that's it??? I'm sorry. My fight was more with principles rather than personalities.

[meherc]

That's true but you have to remember that Houston has to sign the release form. He is in jail, I had to pay to have someone bring the paperwork in , have it signed immediately and bring it out. They would also need a picture of him, a whole bunch of stuff to prove it was himThough I talked with his defense lawyer first and she said go to it, she then decided it was not to his benefit to start this case in the middle of the murder uproar so she snatched them back and had Houston rescind his signature.Who knows? Glick fled anyway. I was so angry. I said you think I'm crazy right, after a meeting we had, She said yes, I did , I was kind of afraid of you. Gypsy anger for me. Intense at the moment but then it's gone. HMM, maybe that's NY.

A few things about medical records. Patients are entitled to copies of their records upon written request. The Physicians office has 2 weeks to comply. Physicians must keep patient medical records for a period of time, I beleive it's 10 years, but I am not sure.
In the each medical chart should be a diagnosis, treatment plan and detailed notes of each visit whether its for mental health or medical issues. You may not be able to file a lawsuit, but you can have the chart reviewed to see if he was following protocol for best practice in the State of Cailfornia. I hope this is helpful.

[mamaj]

I have no more to say about this crazy situation. This whole family needs help and need to be more honest with the real facts thats' all.

I Agree with Berrys' actions!

Mamaj, whoever you are, this is not the place for this. This family, including Marks girlfriend, needs support and a safe place to heal in our community. Lashing out publicly is just cruel! If you are in her circle of support, that's wonderful and continue to do so. Marks death and Houstons actions, who is Marilyns son with Mark, has been a horrific blow to this family with rippling effect throughout the entire community. Please be mindfulful and move foreward with compassion in your heart for all.

[mamaj]

What ever happened to freedom of speech? I hope this site doesn't turn out like the Press Democrat etc. Sorry Barry ,just keepin' things real -

Barry you wrongly removed my post concerning Houston and his family. This was NOT hearsay info. It came from Marks' girlfriend of 7 yrs. who knows his family very well and she is truly heartbroken and devasted over what happened to the man she loved dearly. His girlfriend and I have been best friends,like family for over 40 yrs. It is obvious Houstons' mother has been acting out inappropiatly and continues to be abusive to Houstons' sister. His sister needs help and should not be living with her mother . She has to lock herself in her bedroom all the time to protect her self,she told Marks' girlfriend this . She really needs help,but there is only so much Marks' girlfriend can handle , this has been a nightmare for her to say the least.

[Barry]

What ever happened to freedom of speech? I hope this site doesn't turn out like the Press Democrat etc. Sorry Barry ,just keepin' things real -

Freedom of speech doesn't apply here. In fact I wouldn't deny that WaccoBB is yet more restrictive then the PD. People can be quite rude and disrespectful there, more so than I will tolerate here.

When it comes to highly personal matters I think a distinction must be drawn about what is appropriate on a public forum.

Keeping a forum free of harsh comments actually enhances the freedom of speech of the community by maintaining the sense of safety and decorum that is required for people to willingly participate. I've written more about this here and here.

I think it's time to wind down this thread. It served an important purpose for a while, and was quite successful I might add, but that time has passed and it's now time for healing from this horrific episode, and this thread now seems to be the source of more pain rather than comfort.

My heart goes to our long time member Marilyn for the multiple traumas that she has had to endure. Should any of you be interested in reaching out with generous and compassionate offers of assistance I'm sure she'd be most grateful. I'd imagine she'd find a massage, an EFT session, or one of the myriad of healing modalities offered here comforting and healing. You can reach her by replying privately to any of her posts.

I'm going to leave this thread open for another day or two for any final respectful comments. Thanks again to all of you who taken time to offer your support to Marilyn and otherwise contributed positively along the way.

Barry

[Malene Rander Comes]

In the end, this story is just horrible for all concerned. There is no possibility for a good outcome. I can totally understand that Marilyn is pissed at the mental health providers who didn't protect her son and Mark before this happened - I would be too.

In some ways - mental health services in this country are really not that much better than back in the 1960's, unfortunately. It breaks my heart to think of Houston in a hospital - those are not gentle or kind places either. It is certainly better than prison, but that's not a great comparison.

That said, I think it might be good at taking a moment to reflect on the success of this thread. A number of us got involved who would not otherwise have been, were it not for this thread. Some folks managed to pave the way on this thread and that was a huge help.

I am hoping that Marilyn and the family received and experienced support resulting from this post.

The thread also managed to have a good conversation about the stigmatization of people suffering with mental illness, and spread some awareness about those issues.

I think a great big thank you to Barry is probably in order. Without him, and this board a lot of things would not have been done.

All in all, a great success. One person apparently here at the end felt like lashing out. Who knows - maybe she is also traumatized by what has happened and felt the need to respond to the trauma. It was correct to move her post of course, we did not need to hear that negativity.

Hopefully the family will get on with healing, finding ways to get support and grow together.

Malene

[Barry]

I moved gypsey's post about refining our guidelines to a new thread in the Feedback category called "Establishing ethical posting guidelines"

In addition to any complementary healing services, Marilyn and her family could use financial support to help them through this difficult period. Please contact Marilyn or me if you wish to help out.

This thread is now closed.