Republican Jobs Plan

[theindependenteye]

Gov. Romney has become more specific about his 5-point plan to add 12 million jobs in his first term. In summary:

1. Marriages for all single parents and other fornicators.
Adds 15,000 pastors, priests, rabbis and ship captains.

2. Binders full of resumes of women, Blacks, Hispanics, Indians, Green Party members, etc., to fill 40,000 sq. ft. of Federal warehouse space.
Adds 100,000 paper mill employees, cabinet makers, FBI operatives and female file clerks.

3. Foreign policy based on #1 USA world leadership position.
Adds 800,000 to the Armed Forces, another 200,000 "contractors" at triple the pay, and 1,000,000 workers in the armaments industry.

4. Deregulation of corporations involved in energy, food, drugs, manufacturing and anything else; breaking unions; giving free rein to financial institutions — thereby offering Americans freedom of choice in breathing the air, eating the food, earning a living, or other luxury entitlements.
Adds 250,000 health care workers, 100,000 drug dealers, 200,000 prostitutes, and 100 billionaires.

5. These and the combined synergy of Romney's proposals, carefully synchronized to maximize cognitive dissonance, will spur a Golden Age of Comedy in America.
Adds 9,334,400 stand-up comedians.

Now it all comes clear.

Cheers—
Conrad