The New Alphabet

[wbreitman]

Age before Beauty is what we once said,
But now let's be a bit more realistic instead:

A's for arthritis;
B's the bad back,
C is the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac?



D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.



H is high blood pressure -- I'd rather it low;
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.



L for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!



P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R for reflux, one meal turns to two.



S for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T for Tinnitus; there's bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know.



W is for worry (now what's going 'round?)
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y is another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest -- but just in my mind.



I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed...............

.............. and I've kept twenty-six 'doctors' fully employed!