After the Rapture

[Larry Robinson]

Anyone reading this post is, presumably, still here after the Rapture and we either didn't make the cut or we are actually now in heaven. (These may the same thing.) And if we are indeed in heaven, how might be choose to live? How should we treat each other? How should we treat the air and the water and our non-human siblings?

Mary Oliver says that "the path to heaven does not lie down in flat miles; it's in the imagination with which you perceive this world and in the gestures with which you honor it."

[Barry]

Apparently nothing happened... Sure would have been nice if it had...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9Kl...layer_embedded

[bcoen]

A tragic story!

ARKANSAS CITY (AP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sun roof during an incident best described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye witnesses. Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she claimed was Jesus.

"She started screaming "He's back, He's back" and climbed right out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene. "I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams said. She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say.

"This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force,"said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene. Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was dressed up as Jesus and was on his way to a toga costume party when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blowup dolls filled with helium which floated up into the air.

Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration, and said "Come back here," just as the Williams' car passed him.

Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into the sky as they passed by him, according to her husband, who says his wife loved Jesus more than anything else.

When asked for comments about the twelve dolls, Jenkins replied "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen."

[geomancer]

Ahem - https://www.snopes.com/religion/rapture.asp

A tragic story!

ARKANSAS CITY (AP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sun roof during an incident best described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye witnesses. Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she claimed was Jesus.

"She started screaming "He's back, He's back" and climbed right out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene. "I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams said. She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say.

"This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force,"said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene. Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was dressed up as Jesus and was on his way to a toga costume party when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blowup dolls filled with helium which floated up into the air.

Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration, and said "Come back here," just as the Williams' car passed him.

Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into the sky as they passed by him, according to her husband, who says his wife loved Jesus more than anything else.

When asked for comments about the twelve dolls, Jenkins replied "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen."

[jbox]

A tragic story!

ARKANSAS CITY (AP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sun roof...

Silly me! I thought the Weekly World News went into rapture-land a couple of years ago. Now the AP is taking over???

[Zeno Swijtink]

Ahem - https://www.snopes.com/religion/rapture.asp

"Origins: This inventive work of fiction was penned and released onto the Internet on2 August 2001. It was written by Elroy Willis, proprietor of Religion in the News, a site that warns visitors what they're in for: Some of these stories are really true. See if you can figure out which ones they are. Apparently some readers didn't manage to work out which were which, because this tale has washed up in our inbox numerous times since its debut.

In October 2001, the story was repeated in the pages of The Weekly World News, a tabloid whose stock in trade is sensationalistic fiction written up in the style of news accounts. In the WWN report, Little Rock, Arkansas, was changed to Atlanta, Georgia, and Georgann Williams, 28, became Geraldine Solstice, 58. The dead woman's husband shifted from being Everett Williams to Everett Solstice, and Jesus lookalike Ernie Jenkins, 32, was magically transmuted into Madison Grosnik, 28. Yeesh."

[Barry]

Here's the 6 Feet Under version of this "Rapture":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LXuNpF6NVg

[bcoen]

Yes, I know it's not true. The point is, it's funny! Hell, I used to subcribe to alt.atheism when and where it was first posted!

[Sabrina]

THAT is hilarious!!!!

ARKANSAS CITY (AP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sun roof during an incident best described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye witnesses. ...

[iaim2xl]

THAT is hilarious!!!!

What's even more tragic is the story behind the story. According to a neighbor of Ernie Jenkins, the man who looked like Jesus and whose tarp had blown off his truck, he belonged to a club of men who collected blow-up dolls. These weren't just any blow-up dolls, but they were in fact expensive sex toys that cost approximately $800 each (well, that's when you don't order them with the promo code; otherwise you can get them for $695 each plus tax and shipping. I have a friend who ordered one...)

The club's 12 members, it seems, were holding their annual toga keg party and had planned an overnight where the dolls were going to be the main entertainment. So, Jenkins was not only frustrated, he was downright despondent as he saw the dolls floating away. In addition to representing over $7000 of investment by him and the other club members, it meant the group's entertainment for the evening was headed skyward, meaning he and his friends would have to take matters into their own hands that night.

But the story goes even deeper. Ronnie Spelthunker, one of the group's members, had recently left his wife after declaring to his family that he had fallen in love with another woman. The other woman, ironically enough, was one of the dolls that floated skyward out of Jenkins' truck.

In a later interview by the Arkansas City Herald, Dr. Harold Palm, Spelthunker's psychotherapist, said he thought Spelthunker had been "winning" in therapy to that point. Tragically, however, Spelthunker committed suicide by drinking liquid latex three days after losing the love of his wife.

In a suicide note left at the scene by the empty bottle of latex, Spelthunker said, "I can't live without Layla. Unlike every other woman I've ever known, she really listened to me. I never felt any judgment from her. Yes, I know she was kind of quiet, but sometimes that's what we all need in a partner. I just can't go on."

There's more to this story, of course, but I can't find the link to that article I was reading. Can anyone else locate it and fill us all in on the rest of the details?

[Sara S]

This is really funny! This thread just keeps getting better and better.....

What's even more tragic is the story behind the story. According to a neighbor of Ernie Jenkins, the man who looked like Jesus and whose tarp had blown off his truck, he belonged to a club of men who collected blow-up dolls. These weren't just any blow-up dolls, but they were in fact expensive sex toys that cost approximately $800 each (well, that's when you don't order them with the promo code; otherwise you can get them for $695 each plus tax and shipping. I have a friend who ordered one...)

The club's 12 members, it seems, were holding their annual toga keg party and had planned an overnight where the dolls were going to be the main entertainment. So, Jenkins was not only frustrated, he was downright despondent as he saw the dolls floating away. In addition to representing over $7000 of investment by him and the other club members, it meant the group's entertainment for the evening was headed skyward, meaning he and his friends would have to take matters into their own hands that night.

But the story goes even deeper. Ronnie Spelthunker, one of the group's members, had recently left his wife after declaring to his family that he had fallen in love with another woman. The other woman, ironically enough, was one of the dolls that floated skyward out of Jenkins' truck.

In a later interview by the Arkansas City Herald, Dr. Harold Palm, Spelthunker's psychotherapist, said he thought Spelthunker had been "winning" in therapy to that point. Tragically, however, Spelthunker committed suicide by drinking liquid latex three days after losing the love of his wife.

In a suicide note left at the scene by the empty bottle of latex, Spelthunker said, "I can't live without Layla. Unlike every other woman I've ever known, she really listened to me. I never felt any judgment from her. Yes, I know she was kind of quiet, but sometimes that's what we all need in a partner. I just can't go on."

There's more to this story, of course, but I can't find the link to that article I was reading. Can anyone else locate it and fill us all in on the rest of the details?