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Oil Spill In Monte Rio


No one expected it to happen and there were no contingency plans in place - but thanks to Mr. Baxman and the local fire brigade, the oil spill that almost destroyed Starrett Hill Terrace was contained in ample time.
"That's what happens when your tomcat wakes up after a visit to the Vet (see picture) and realizes there's no reason to prowl the Lower River's back alleys and feline red light district anymore", said 33-year-old Jade Abramowitz, who nearly lost her meager belongings. "My crap coulda been slimed with oil and slipped right out the door and down the hill" sighed the relieved woman.
It was her cat who knocked the olive oil off the kitchen sideboard as she was getting ready to fry up a mess of potato pancakes on Friday evening. "I was getting ready to fry up a mess o' latkes", explained Abramowitz, "when I turned to grab a spoon and found myself sliding through about three inches of decaying citrus and shelled sunflower seeds, and right under Odlid's cage". It was Odlid, her sulphur-crested cockatoo's maniacal squawking which finally alerted neighbors, who called the Monte Rio Fire Dept. down the hill.
The Extra-Virgin bottle of oil, picked up at Trader Joe's the day before, was almost full when it hit the deck and started gushing uncontrollably while the frozen Abramowitz stared in horror. The fast-thinking first responders were quick to whip out their scissors, hack off their mullets and ponytails, and weave them into mini-booms which served to contain and absorb most of the oil.
A divorced woman, Abramowitz is a C.P.S. (certified pinsetter) who, although currently unemployed, expects to get her job back when they re-open the eight-lane bowling alley in Guernewood Park which closed down in 1974.