What does being conscious , balanced ego, and Hedonism have in common?

[nurturetruth]

the ability to receive pleasure and experience happiness !!


Lets begin this theological rambling by reflecting on the word "conscious"
I have yet at this time play with the word: "progressive", so bare with me here. (anyone want go run around naked?)

It is to my understanding and 'factual' that one of the definitions of what it means to be conscious is:

" to perceive or notice with a great degree of controlled thought or observation. Doing or acting with critical awareness."

other definitions of what it means to be conscious may include:

likely to notice, consider, appraise or
being concerned or interested.

I interpret the last part , "being concerned or interested" as the ability to be able to also show/express concern or interest.
A healthy balanced ego, yes?!

*To be clear just for sake of clarity, let it be known that I do not support the belief that the ego is a bad or wrong thing . I see no reason to perceive negative connotations with the ego. I share the belief that the ego just "is" and it is in each of us
As described in a previous wacco thread , I consider the ego to be part of what makes up our identity. . (https://www.waccobb.net/forums/wacco...go-thread.html)

Like the word "ego", the word "narcissism" seems to have picked up negative connotations.
True, it is noted in the field of psychology and psychiatry, that excessive narcissism has often been referred to as "narcissistic behavior", which can lead to an imbalance of ego.
Narcissism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

However, I find the story and origin behind the word 'narcissism" amusing.

"The term , narcissism is derived from the Greek mythology of Narcissus. Narcissus was a handsome Greek youth who rejected the desperate advances of the nymph Echo.
As punishment, he was doomed to fall in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. Unable to consummate his love, Narcissus pined away & changed into a flower that bears name
The terms narcissism, narcissistic, and narcissist are often used as pejoratives, denoting vanity, conceit, egotism or simple selfishness. Applied to a social group, it is sometimes used to denote elitism or an indifference to the plight of others.

Sigmund Freud believed that (like the ego ) some narcissism is an essential part of all of us from birth and was the first to use the term in the reference to psychology.

Andrew Morrison claims that, in adults, a reasonable amount of healthy narcissism (self love) allows the individual's perception of his needs to be balanced in relation to others" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism)

Q. Is it possible that what Morrison was referring to when he spoke of 'healthy narcissism" was the ability for a person to have a balanced ego or perhaps the ability to be acutely "aware of" (conscious) balancing one's own needs in relation to others' needs?

Healthy narcissism = balanced ego = ability to be conscious?
unhealthy narcissim= inbalanced ego = inability to be conscious?

Let's now throw in one more word: Hedonism.

Just at a glance, I recognize hedonism as being more than just having a balanced ego, healthy narcissistic behavior or the ability to be conscious .

Hedonism can be defined as an ethical philosophy where one's own pleasure has the highest moral value.
"This is often used as a justification for evaluating actions in terms of how much pleasure and how little pain (suffering) they produce."
There appears to be 2 different perceptions of the word hedonism.
One is that pleasure in form of bodily gratifications is more intense than mental/emotional pleasure and the other is an Epicurean stance that pleasure equates highest good. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonism)


I seem to resonate using the word, hedonism , to the equivalent of 'self love' where it is possible to allow myself the experience of maximizing the moments of: pleasure, joy and happiness
(on all levels!)

a lil' background

I was born into this world as a hedonist even if I was unconscious of my needs or what pleased me.
Within less than a year old, the ego started to develop in a pattern where it became all about the "me". Unhealthy narcissism in the most purest form!
I cannot even tell u how many times I dropped the bottle on the floor when I was a baby to get 'momma's" (the nurturer) attention. Though unconscious of my true pleasure/need, I had already begun to learn by law of association. And it did not matter what mommy was doing, I didn't care. I wanted attention! It was all about me!

It was in very early childhood, I learned through the process of observation that I had magical powers!
It appeared that I could make people happy and be the "GIVER" of pleasure.
It felt powerful to believe I could make others happy.
So I focused in (and literally "got off ") on 'making others happy' versus creating or experiencing my own happiness.
In fact, I fed off of other peoples happiness.
Essentially, I was loving and caring for others more than my own self.
I was listening to and considering what other people needed and what brought them happiness and pleasure, but not what I needed.
My ego was imbalanced.
I was at the other extreme of being a narcissist whatever that is!
And far from being a hedonist.
I recall feeling alot of confusion and having judgments around the concept of self love and doing what truly brought me pleasure
(discovering and following my truth!)

Finally, at the age of 30, a health crisis fortunately forced me to identify/recognize (and release!) any judgments I may have had around self love equating 'being selfish'.
I was forced to a lifestyle of living in the now: moment to moment. Never knowing what the next moment would feel or be like.
I found this process especially challenging because everyone around me (my external reflections) was evaluating/judging me as 'being selfish' and unreliable as I would frequently cancel plans or would reschedule without giving enough notice. Needless to say, I stopped "making plans" and resorted to "setting intentions".
If on the day of the "intended plans" I was not in full alignment somewhere, it was a " no go."
People were beyond feeling irritated. Many would get angry. Some stayed around, others left unable to offer understanding or empathy.
I finally admitted to the truth of being unreliable.
But I simply refused to take on the judgment of "being selfish".
I was merely self loving myself: doing what most pleased me and my overall well being.
My needs and sense of pleasure came first!
I started to become a passionate "receiver".
I was becoming a Hedonist.
But I became what I will refer to as: individual hedonism.

* Note: I believe that my health crisis was a direct result of not being in balance with my ego and not being balance with "giving" and "receiving".
I had to teach myself to receive.

Recently, in the past 2 years, I have shifted perspectives and am taking the law of attraction to heart and very seriously.

Where I once practiced primarily individual hedonism , I am now finding myself practicing Hedonism in form of "collectivism" .
Similar to John Stuart Mill's train of thought.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonism

In other words I am yearning to act in conscious ways that acknowledges and includes the needs and pleasures of everyone and not just the "me".

This is what "my all" is in alignment with and is what maximizes pleasure and happiness for me!

My spirit, ego , emotional and physical body are now experiencing Hedonism as maximizing the happiness from a balanced state of being both the "giver" and a "receiver" of pleasure!

Healthy narcissism at its best!

[porky]

what is the connection between these three words?

[NudeTea]

I continue to find myself questioning and reflect on what it means when a community calls itself or aspires to be "conscious" . I have yet at this time play with the word: "progressive", so bare with me here.

Bare is good.

It has been my experience and observation that when a person is very much (excessively) concerned and interested in what "the self"
(the "I" / "me" ) needs, attains or receives without consideration of others, they are exhibiting a possible unhealthy form of narcissism and an imbalance of ego.

It has been my experience and observation that a narcissist thinks the whole world revolves around them ... too ... I say this in addition to what you wrote above, not to counter it.

Q. It is possible that what Morrison was referring to when he spoke of 'healthy narcissism" was ...

What Morrison referred to would best be known by Morrison; I'd only be guessing.

Just at a glance, I recognize Hedonism as being different and alot more than just having a healthy ego, healthy narcisstic behavior or the ability to be conscious .
I seem to equate Hedonism to 'self love' which equates: pleasure, joy and happiness

I've never thought of hedonism as self love: Simply associated it with 'lover of pleasure.'

I have also experienced my state of hedonism and 'self love' at times, interpreted (or judged) as a form of selfishness.

I keep wanting to reply with sentences that start with 'I'. Am I being narcissistic? omg I'll try to keep my focus on getting a clearer understanding of what you are saying. LOL

In very early childhood, I learned that I had magical powers .

I've experienced them. In you, I mean.

It appeared that I could make people happy and give the gift of pleasure.
It felt powerful to believe I could make others happy.
So I focused in (and "got off ") on 'making others happy' versus creating my own happiness.
In fact, I fed off of other peoples happiness.
I was listening to and considering what other people needed and not what I needed.
My ego was imbalanced. I was at the other extreme of hedonist.
I too was interpreting/judged self love as selfishness, which I sense many do this.
This was before I was to identify and recognize "judgments."

This is a very powerful segment of your post here, Kali. Were you doting on hedonists for their sense of pleasure? Doting on narcissists whose center of gravity kept you circling around them?

I also personally believe this health crisis i experienced was directly related to me not being aware of or honoring my own needs.
Thus, I went into a state of individual Hedonism.
Doing only what pleased me (mentally,physically and emotionally) and refusing to do anything that I did not feel in alignment with.
My needs came first.
I found myself living in the 'now', moment to moment never knowing what I would feel like doing.
Needless to say, those around me found this to be VERY irritating to say the least.
People wanted me to change who i was or where I was "at" in order to have their needs met. I continuously was interpreted/judged by my external reflection as being selfish, for I was unable to continue meeting 'their needs" and certainly unreliable.

"Cinderella! Where are you Cinderella!?"

I am attempting to act in conscious ways that acknowledges and includes the needs of everyone. This to me feels healthy.

I'm glad to see you feel healthy from your journies and learnings.

[CSummer]

Thank you so much for sharing part of your journey with us here!

I want to respond to one just one part of this that starts with: "even if I was unconscious of my needs or what pleased me."

I wonder if you didn't know pretty well what you needed and what pleased you, and I can well imagine you did when you experienced it!

"Within less than a year old, the ego started to develop in a pattern where it became all about the "me". Unhealthy narcissism in the most purest form!
I cannot even tell u how many times I dropped the bottle on the floor when I was a baby to get 'momma's" (the nurturer) attention."

Is it really "unhealthy" or is it just how we are as infants when our needs are not well met. When you dropped the bottle on the floor to "get momma's attention," what need were you really trying to meet? My guess is that it was rather more than to have momma come and pick up the bottle. Most infants in this culture receive far less physical nurturing touch (holding and stroking) than they actually need. If you could get momma to come near you, that would have felt like a start, but I can imagine you felt quite frustrated and perhaps sad when she didn't also pick you up to caress and hold you close. Continuing to drop the bottle would have been, it seems to me, a rather mild way of expressing that frustration - of trying to let momma know you needed much more from her.

I feel strongly that children who are viewed as 'selfish' or self-centered are the ones who have not figured out how to get their needs met with parents who are unable or unwilling to adequately respond to their needs for nurturing. They may have given up on getting those needs met in healthy, positive ways and have resorted to getting whatever attention they could get through what may be seen as obnoxious or selfish behavior. A typical way a child or infant makes sense of this deprivation is to assume there is something wrong - something "not-okay" - about them. Negative messages from their parents will tend to reinforce such beliefs, resulting in lowered sense of self-worth and behavior patterns that are consistent with that.

Can we have more compassion - more empathy - for our selves and each other, especially for the children who have suffered a lot, both those outside and those within us?


[QUOTE=nurturetruth;90803]the ability to receive pleasure and experience happiness !!

a lil' background

I was born into this world as a hedonist even if I was unconscious of my needs or what pleased me.
Within less than a year old, the ego started to develop in a pattern where it became all about the "me". Unhealthy narcissism in the most purest form!
I cannot even tell u how many times I dropped the bottle on the floor when I was a baby to get 'momma's" (the nurturer) attention. Though unconscious of my true pleasure/need, I had already begun to learn by law of association. And it did not matter what mommy was doing, I didn't care. I wanted attention! It was all about me!