Sex for the sake of sex

[Braggi]

Since the topic of gay sex came up : Prop. 8, the Musical

-Jeff

[nurturetruth]

Synergetic

Energy

Xchange

:bigkiss:

[shellebelle]

And just to bring this back to sex.

Yes, I have coached and mentored communication challenged individuals to successful relationships.

I have several clients now I am working with to transition to new places of self awareness within their personal sexuality. It is very rewarding coaching people to accept themselves as they are and show them how to move that new found, wonderful, energy to others and create amazing experiences through it.

[Barry]

There were 15 posts that had to with Mykil and his spelling. I have split them off to new thread in WaccoTalk called https://www.waccobb.net/forums/wacco...s-speling.html

EDIT: I also moved 7 posts that dealt directly with Sex and Christians to that thread.

Let us now return to the subject at hand , Sex!

[Lorrie]

Well now see all of these words are spelled correctly, but I still don't get it.

I guess you have to have been there.

its kind of a swoon...

when there is no grasping, or as little as possible by either party...but an allowance a falling into and riding the cosmic wave of desire, and allowing it to move and expand, while realizing its fleeting nature, and its ultimate ungraspability, recognizing ourselves & the divine in the other, and remembering that its our conciousness, our mind, and attention, that shapes the experiences, along with our intent, that makes all the difference. To play in the "space of polarity", and ultimately to use polarity, desire and movement, to transcrend the aforementioned...aaahhh, yes, sex, is truly life...yet, each partner must balance the yin/yang energies within themself, in order for the experience to take full flight, as our partner is always a reflection of ourself....

[yogatree]

Beautifully expressed, RamShiVa!

its kind of a swoon...

when there is no grasping, or as little as possible by either party...but an allowance a falling into and riding the cosmic wave of desire, and allowing it to move and expand, while realizing its fleeting nature, and its ultimate ungraspability, recognizing ourselves & the divine in the other, and remembering that its our conciousness, our mind, and attention, that shapes the experiences, along with our intent, that makes all the difference. To play in the "space of polarity", and ultimately to use polarity, desire and movement, to transcrend the aforementioned...aaahhh, yes, sex, is truly life...yet, each partner must balance the yin/yang energies within themself, in order for the experience to take full flight, as our partner is always a reflection of ourself....

[Toxic Reverend]

Tinque,

It was not my intention to "make you angry". Though I do
admire the way you handle yourself.

I was raised Lutheran in a Catholic neighborhood. The
nuns had told the other kids "not to play with the evil
Lutheran" (me).

There is little doubt that I have my own "baggage", from
that. Still, I knew a man named Frank in Cleveland and was
at his kitchen table while I watched him and his wife fight.
They had a running argument going on and were laughing.

That completely blew my mind. To be at odds, not agreeing
and "having an argument", while laughing.

So I asked about how he did that. He was my sponsor in
an "anonymous fellowship" and I still had to bug him about
it. He said that "he was not a marriage counselor".

But I kept after him. Finally his wife Rita chimed in and I was
told that they "agreed to disagree", had been through counseling
and had studied a book titled "The Road Less Traveled".

I ended up going through two "Exploring the Road Less
Traveled" study groups. (I am rather hard headed and did
not really "get it" on the first round.

Frank and his wife Rita had sponsored about seven such groups,
in Cleveland. I am not aware of any "Exploring the Road Less Traveled"
work groups, in this area. And I had heard that the workbook has
gone out of print.

Frank and Rita are both very hard core Catholics.
Frank passed away a few weeks ago with about forty years of "sobriety".

Our common ground was the anonymous twelve step program.
The steps were taken from Christ's "Sermon on the Mount" and
were at first written as six steps, then changed to twelve. At
some point there was a huge debate about "God" this and "you
had better" that. Today it reads as "God as you understand him".

If you read over what I have written, I have never said what my
believes are. I do not claim to be a Christian, a Pagan, or any other.
I have called attention to the fact that there are other beliefs and
religions.

But you might find it interesting that the "Sermon on the Mount"
is being taught in every language, all over the world. More than that,
all of the anonymous twelve step programs
(including "Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous")
are based on the "Alcoholics Anonymous Twelve Steps".
It was started in the 1930's by two men and has grown to millions,
the world over. And people from every faith are members of these
groups. Including Christians Muslims and Buddhists, to name but a few.

This post is not specific to any particular religious
believes. But this post does attempt to bridge some of the obvious
overlapping instances of sex and spirituality.

Since the tropic is "sex for the sake of sex", I figure
"why re-invent the wheel" ? It should be easier to
hybrid a few of the existing "maps" to this reality.

I bring this "Twelve Step Perspective" into the conversation because
of what the "Big Book".....has to say about sex on pages 68-69 ;

Quote:
We do not want to be the arbiter of anyone's
sex conduct. .......

...

In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal
for our future sex life.
End of quotes from the "Big Book" pages 68-69 are specific to this topic.
The Big Book has a bit more to say about sex , too.

If you want to know what is meant by "in this way", you will
have to read the book, as it does outline the path used by;
"Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous".

The fourth page of the 6th chapter "Into Action" in the "Big Book" talks
about when most us us "begin to have a Spiritual Experience". A
partial quote from page 75 is:

"We may have had certain Spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have
a Spiritual Experience".

End of quote from "Big Book" page 75.

The above quote is in reference to working the Twelve Steps that includes
an inventory of your "sex life". The simple concept is that if you really
want to evaluate some thing, you should at least take a written inventory
of it. Again, the directions are in that book and or (specific to sex and love)
"Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous".

________________________________________________


The following Tribes are a few that I have found after a quick search.
These are presented for YOUR OWN EVALUATION. They are not
meant as any indication of my own sexual belief system.

Some of these have graphic nudity :

There are those that believe sex can be used to achieve a
spiritual experience. Such as with some that are into BDSM.
Though I have been told that I am just "too vanilla" for such a path,
you might want to check out the "Society of Janus",
New to BDSM (Uncensored) or BDSM Newbies if you have
such an inclination.

Then there is TANTRA and **kundalini yoga** , too.

____________________________________

Additional FYI:
Harbin Hot Springs has "Any Twelve Step Meetings"
in their library on Tuesday evenings and Saturdays. Since I have
stopped driving, I have not been there very often over the last couple
of years. But the last I heard, the Tuesday night group still had a free
three hour pass, while the Saturday meeting had their "free pass"
revoked because of the number of people that had abused it. Now
that it is Summer, I might take the bus out or hitch-hike and camp
overnight (about $25 for weekday camping and it might have gone up to
$35 on the weekends). The meetings are about one hour and you have
a couple of hours to get into the water or go to a dance, if you are using
the free three hour pass, rather than camping. The Tuesday
night dances had usually played some really good Club music.

________________________________________________

Now Barry will have to decide if this belongs in this forum, or another.
Maybe he will have make this a dual post ? What I can tell you is that
there are millions of people all over the world that are now using
the "Big Book" to define both their Spirituality and their Sexuality.


"Seek and you shall find" - though you might want to ask yourself
if you have evaluated all of the paths ........

Example of other "sex" Tribes, that might be of interest

Monogamy vs Polyamory

Sacred Sexuality , Sexuality and Spirituality

BDSM and Tantra

Sex 4 the sake of sex Tribes:Too many to list. See their side bar of similar groups at
these two examples.

	The Ethical Sluts

Fluid Relationships


Blessings,

The Toxic Reverend
At MySpace
MySpace.com - Justice Is Homeless - 50 - Male - Sonoma County California, California - www.myspace.com/justiceishomeless
The Toxic Reverend
At the Tribe
Toxic's Profile - tribe.net

O.K.... When I read the post written by Mr. Toxic , I felt a bit angry and wanted to respond immediately. I decided to contemplate what I may write and use my words as wisely as one can. I am now responding without for-thought about what I am to write. I was raised strict catholic and was then given the opportunity to be free to choose , with no influence from my parents. I have allowed my son (11) to make his own desisions on what his beliefs are and maybe will be.
My best friend is a Christian , and let me tell you ,we have incredible heated discussions on the whole subject or actually subjects. I was , gratefully raised, with no thought of color , ( I get darn brown myself), or have any judgements toward any sexual preference. I believe that there is good and bad .. I have seen this myself personally. I do not even think to seperate us as people in a matter of color , sexual preference or whatever. I do know that MOST people need guidance and look into what may be available to them . We are all , in my opnion , a bit lost , and with reason . We need to respect each others feeling and beliefs , though I always am open to trying to change ones point of view because I think thier point of view is not the appropriate one ,(in my opinion), but I do respect the fact that we are free to our own opinions and really in my mind how could that ever have not been so . I think we are givien naturally by birth right ALL OF US to express our beliefs and feelings and try as a joint community to work together to make our planet exist. Together we can nurture. Alone we will crumble.. This is of course only my opinion.. and, by the way , I am really in the mood to make passionate love and fuck . I am feeling a bit sad , a bit overworked ( to say the least ) and a bit vulnerable. I know all of you have these moments and we all try to figure out how to feel better.. I am off to my garden .. I will eat some fresh strawberrys , weed a bit , get excited about the new growth of my seedlings . Feel a bit lonely , but at the same time realize that it is rare I have a chance to be completely alone and that it is O.K as well as important. . I will feel the warmth of our sun and enjoy the beauty of the hummingbirds that are surronding me , as well as all the variety of birds indulging in my several bird baths and fountains that my son and I have created. I want to acknowledge that no matter if I am making passionate love or becoming a savage beast and being fucked , MY COMPLETE heart and soul are involved and I do not take it lightly. We are all a bit savage and we all have different ways in satisfying those needs. As long as you are not hurting anyone ... Let the show go on .. Love to All ... Tinque

[countrygirl]

Can someone please give some conscious discussion to conscious relationships again please?

Your sexual partners, partners or lack of may very well be a primary focus and deserve much contemplation.

Some conversation to give insight and help make joyful and fulfilling relationships might be nice. Maybe a new thread.

I think a place that some of us go to hopeful gain knowledge, growth and perhaps enlightening conversation should be less full of harsh judgments, narcissism and definitely anyone trying to sell classes or counseling for which they are or more likely not qualified on teaching.

I'm hoping that we all can have relationships that are completely real, honest, loving and enlightened. Obviously the relationship we have with the one or ones (according to your own belief) we have sex with can be the most difficult to handle in a loving, non-selfish, honest etc. way. For one thing emotions seem to get kicked up a notch more in these relationships. We all are emotional creatures. Some of us more than others.

I would love some enlightening reflections from conscious, loving, helpful cyber-friends. Like many people I just went through a rocky one and having a hard time getting a good philosophical view on my emotional exchange of a loved one. Surely other people have words of wisdom and guidance without having to drag us into counseling or classes. Thanks for all sincere souls who wish to help their fellow silly humans for the sake helping only.

I did like Yoga Tree's posting. The "dance with the divine" is a beautiful was to verse the exchange of two people who become more together in this dance than they were separate. These moments are some of are most passionate joy we enjoy in this existence. It is good to talk about. Finding one's own balance in your heart is difficult, helping others with guidance in their own heart, harder still. Yet quite noble. Thanks again for all noble souls.

[Braggi]

Can someone please give some conscious discussion to conscious relationships again please? ...

Thank you, countrygirl, for attempting to return this conversation to a truly valuable one. I wish I had time to give you a considerable answer but my home duties call. There are people here willing to share with you in serious ways. I just want you to know that.

Will you say more?

-Jeff

[kewl]

Thought this might be relavant.
Mama Mia! Twins Have Two Different Dads | Momlogic

[Vet-To-Pet]

I've got an idea! Let's talk/write in complete sentences, finish our thoughts, and try to make sense to the average person reading these posts?

Example: If I weren't moving across the continent next week, my thoughts on sex for the sake of sex would be: that phrase sounds like you're describing a monogymous hetero couple who "do it" once a week, maybe once every ten days, because one or both are horny---that's what "sex for the sake of sex" brings to my mind, which is depressing, like you're going through the motions. well, I guess those are my thoughts even tho I AM moving across the country . Now, can everyone understand what I wrote & meant? We don't have to get all ethereal & theological to discuss sex. just say what you mean in plain English (except for Mykil).
Smiles,
Paula/Vet-To-Pet

Thank you, countrygirl, for attempting to return this conversation to a truly valuable one. I wish I had time to give you a considerable answer but my home duties call. There are people here willing to share with you in serious ways. I just want you to know that.

Will you say more?

-Jeff

[shellebelle]

Hi,

I think this is the wrong thread for this and you have the ability to start a thread since you are a member and can post. But hey we can break it off into a new one later.

First define conscious. I keep doing so yet when others do it's not to the dictionary. Funny thing is the dictionary is the agreed upon definition that the universe acknowledges. SO when we misuse and miss define words we create misguided, erroneous experiences that often hurt ourselves.

You seek guidance of how to dance through heartbreak it sounds or how to dance in a relationship?

Well that would lead to me saying; look into self. Look at you and how your self love fueles or depletes the relationship.

You create your experience. What words do you use? How do they feel? What is the words weights? How is your self talk; is it depleting and traumatizing you and thus your relationship or is building it up?

The truth is we can not possibly "guide" you without fully understanding you and your relationship. And placing that on a public forum does not seem growth oriented. Sooooo that leads me to: find a private space with person/people you trust who can provide you a mirror yet hold you through the pain that will surely show itself and the growth while allowing you to explore you without imposing their will onto you. Mourn, cry, get angry and work through the emotions then work on the healing.

And sex for the sake of sex is about connecting to release energy; it is sex; it is enjoying sex just cause; it is a fuck; it may be passionate but it is not in love but it can be. It is not connecting to intertwine and create permanence. And yes sometimes it leads to that intertwining but even once intertwined there are times when you just want a good fuck just cause you do.

And to me fucking just to fuck, sex for the sake of sex, is a PRIMARY part of creating joyful, fulfilling relationships.

Can someone please give some conscious discussion to conscious relationships again please? Your sexual partners, partners or lack of may very well be a primary focus and deserve much contemplation. Some conversation to give insight and help make joyful and fulfilling relationships might be nice. Maybe a new thread. I think a place that some of us go to hopeful gain knowledge, growth and perhaps enlightening conversation should be less full of harsh judgements, narcissism and definitely anyone trying to sell classes or counseling for which they are or more likely not qualified on teaching. I'm hoping that we all can have relationships that are completely real, honest, loving and enlightened. Obviously the relationship we have with the one or ones (accourding to your own belief) we have sex with can be the most difficult to handle in a loving, non-selfish, honest etc. way. For one thing emotions seem to get kicked up a notch more in these relationships. We all are emotional creatures. Some of us more than others. I would love some enlightening reflections from conscious, loving, helpful cyber-friends. Like many people I just went through a rocky one and having a hard time getting a good philosophical view on my emotional exchange of a loved one. Surely other people have words of wisdom and guidence without having to drag us into counseling or classes. Thanks for all sincere souls who wish to help their fellow silly humans for the sake helping only. I did like Yoga Tree's posting. The "dance with the divine" is a beautiful was to verse the exchange of two people who become more together in this dance than they were seperate. These moments are some of are most passionate joy we enjoy in this existence. It is good to talk about. Finding one's own balance in your heart is difficult, helping others with guidence in their own heart, harder still. Yet quite noble. Thanks again for all noble souls.

[shellebelle]

I can see that perspective. It's not mine but I can see it.

I love consensual sex. I prefer it with friends vs random people. I often say I am not casual yet when defined by the dictionary I am casual. I love enjoying occasional spontaneous sex versus premeditated scheduled encounters.

How abut we all just stop the thinking and have consensual joyful sex just cause it's joyful, fun and energizing.

I've got an idea! Let's talk/write in complete sentences, finish our thoughts, and try to make sense to the average person reading these posts?

Example: If I weren't moving across the continent next week, my thoughts on sex for the sake of sex would be: that phrase sounds like you're describing a monogymous hetero couple who "do it" once a week, maybe once every ten days, because one or both are horny---that's what "sex for the sake of sex" brings to my mind, which is depressing, like you're going through the motions. well, I guess those are my thoughts even tho I AM moving across the country . Now, can everyone understand what I wrote & meant? We don't have to get all ethereal & theological to discuss sex. just say what you mean in plain English (except for Mykil).
Smiles,
Paula/Vet-To-Pet

[nurturetruth]

I have been really enjoying this crafty lil' thread and the overall conversation . At 1,345 views, the title IS an eye catcher, is it not?!

I dunno bout all u but i hope to be able to bring my all into sex. Whether theological, ethereal,spiritual, physical, magical, emotional...out of head into full body experience and definitely consensual!

Paula, I have to say, I hear u are moving 'over there' ... to the place i started out before I came 'here'.
When I lived "there" , I tried to fit in and I tried everything to be normal and average.
Its been from my experience that those from out 'there' come out 'here' and experience culture shock and hopefully discover who they are outside of what they considered normal.
I have always held the perception that u, paula , were beyond 'average'. (especially with ur love and care of animals.)
I truly hope ur BIG transition of a journey goes smoothly and I trust you will meet plenty of normal people in Birmingham , AL.
Safe Travels!

and now... back to sex for the sake of sex!

I've got an idea! Let's talk/write in complete sentences, finish our thoughts, and try to make sense to the average person reading these posts?

Example: If I weren't moving across the continent next week, my thoughts on sex for the sake of sex would be: that phrase sounds like you're describing a monogymous hetero couple who "do it" once a week, maybe once every ten days, because one or both are horny---that's what "sex for the sake of sex" brings to my mind, which is depressing, like you're going through the motions. well, I guess those are my thoughts even tho I AM moving across the country . Now, can everyone understand what I wrote & meant? We don't have to get all ethereal & theological to discuss sex. just say what you mean in plain English (except for Mykil).
Smiles,
Paula/Vet-To-Pet

[Toxic Reverend]

Quote:>

So we had to get down to causes and conditions.

A business which takes no regular inventory usually goes
broke. Taking commercial inventory is a fact-finding and a
fact-facing process. It is an effort to discover the truth about
the stock-in-trade. One object is to disclose damaged or
unsalable goods, to get rid of them promptly and without
regret. If the owner of the business is to be successful, he
cannot fool himself about values.

We did exactly the same thing with our lives. We took stock
honestly. First, we searched out the flaws in our make-up
which caused our failure. Being convinced that self, manifested
in various ways, was what had defeated us, we considered its
common manifestations.

Resentment is the 'number one' offender. .....

End of excerpts from page 64

There are several parts to the inventory, but I am skipping right
to the "sex inventory" part. Of which I must stress is only a part
of the inventory .....

Page 68: Last paragraph:

Now about sex. Many of us needed an overhauling there. But above
all, we tried to be sensible on this question. It´s so easy to get
way off the track. Here we find human opinions running to extremes-
absurd extremes, perhaps. One set of voices cry that sex is a lust of
our lower nature, a base necessity of procreation.

Page 69:

HOW IT WORKS 69

Then we have the voices who cry for sex and more sex; who
bewail the institution of marriage; who think that most of the
troubles of the race are traceable to sex causes. They think we
do not have enough of it, or that it isn´t the right kind. They
see its significance everywhere. One school would allow man
no flavor for his fare and the other would have us all on a straight
pepper diet. We want to stay out of this controversy. We do not
want to be the arbiter of anyone´s sex conduct. We all have sex
problems. We´d hardly be human if we didn´t. What can we do
about them?

We reviewed our own conduct over the years past. Where had
we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Whom had we hurt?
Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness?
Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead? We
got this all down on paper and looked at it.

In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our
future sex life. We subjected each relation to this test-was it
selfish or not? We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to
live up to them. We remembered always that our sex powers
were God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly
or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed.

Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be willing to grow
toward it. We must be willing to make amends where we have
done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm
in so doing. In other words, we treat sex as we would any other
problem. in meditation, we ask God what we should do about
each specific matter. The right answer will come, if we want it.

God alone can judge our sex situation.

End of excerpts from
Chapter 5
HOW IT WORKS page 69
Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
Free PDF down loads by chapter at
https://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm

The above quotes are a part of the basic "foundation" of
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
There are no dues or fees for membership.
But a basket is usually passed for a one or two dollar
"donation", to pay for the meeting space and such. No
one is turned away or "shamed" for lack of funds.

To find a meeting in your are (such as Sonoma County CA)
Google search terms;
"Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous Sonoma County CA"

Additional quotes:

"If you want good friends, learn how to be a good friend."

"When the bride is ready, the groom will appear"

Quoted from an "Exploring the Road Less Traveled" Study Group.
Of which was also free, with out dues or fees - TR


Blessings,

The Toxic Reverend
https://www.myspace.com/toxicreverend

[ripplewindwanders]

I think you are personalizing your beliefs and how you tick to how other people tick, and that isn't very sensitive to others feelings. Why would someone want guidance from someone who constantly refers back to their own selves as being some sort of standard when what is ok for you could be completely wrong for others?

I personally always gets emotionally involve with someone I have sexual relations with. If you just want to fuck because you just want a fuck, well that's your own business but you shouldn't project your beliefs onto another as some sort of dharma. That's you. I'm totally not like that, though I do appreciate great primal passion, I always involve myself with the other person. I avoid relations with guys of that mind-set, super bad match, hurtful actually.

I would also like some friendly discussion on relationships, especially the non-platonic ones. I think it's good to talk to each other without lecturing. Everybody has their own heart and they differ in giving and needs.

And well, if your dancing in this dance, you have a partner. It's just not reflecting on yourself. The dance is with another. I am another in the community that would like to talk to the fellow tribe members about all this. Sisters and brothers just trying to get through all this. "We should do the very best that we can, help each other while we're traveling through this land, We shall all be together forever and ever when we make it to the promised land."

Hi,

I think this is the wrong thread for this and you have the ability to start a thread since you are a member and can post. But hey we can break it off into a new one later.

First define conscious. I keep doing so yet when others do it's not to the dictionary. Funny thing is the dictionary is the agreed upon definition that the universe acknowledges. SO when we misuse and miss define words we create misguided, erroneous experiences that often hurt ourselves.

You seek guidance of how to dance through heartbreak it sounds or how to dance in a relationship?

Well that would lead to me saying; look into self. Look at you and how your self love fueles or depletes the relationship.

You create your experience. What words do you use? How do they feel? What is the words weights? How is your self talk; is it depleting and traumatizing you and thus your relationship or is building it up?

The truth is we can not possibly "guide" you without fully understanding you and your relationship. And placing that on a public forum does not seem growth oriented. Sooooo that leads me to: find a private space with person/people you trust who can provide you a mirror yet hold you through the pain that will surely show itself and the growth while allowing you to explore you without imposing their will onto you. Mourn, cry, get angry and work through the emotions then work on the healing.

And sex for the sake of sex is about connecting to release energy; it is sex; it is enjoying sex just cause; it is a fuck; it may be passionate but it is not in love but it can be. It is not connecting to intertwine and create permanence. And yes sometimes it leads to that intertwining but even once intertwined there are times when you just want a good fuck just cause you do.

And to me fucking just to fuck, sex for the sake of sex, is a PRIMARY part of creating joyful, fulfilling relationships.

[Braggi]

... I think there's more joy in sex with the people honestly care about each other and a better sexual relationship is created when it is more than just casual, a actual relationship of some sort. ... Yet Spontaneous is more often with someone you have a relationship with. ...

Agreed. I don't usually discuss my relationship details on this forum, but generally speaking, for me the best sex happens with people whose bodies I know well and whose desires I know well. Sure, I can have great sex with a new person, but the really deep lovemaking where the glow lasts for weeks or months is more often with very long term lovers.

I think it's fair to say the potential of a long term relationship is also good juice even to a new relationship.

Yes?

-Jeff

[Vet-To-Pet]

Yes, yes, yes.....yeeeesssss!!! Oops...got carried away there. I agree, is what I meant to say. I've had my share (long ago) of one-night-stands, which were ALL before I got sober (over 20 years ago). I was afraid, when I quit drinking, that I wouldn't be able to: 1) dance freely, or, 2) have sex. I was VERY wrong. Both are much better since I've been "present" for them & really involved with the dance or the experience. "Spontaneous", to me, means to do something without thinking about the end result, which can be okay or even grreat, but not every time.
Smiles,
Vet-To-Pet/Paula

Agreed. I don't usually discuss my relationship details on this forum, but generally speaking, for me the best sex happens with people whose bodies I know well and whose desires I know well. Sure, I can have great sex with a new person, but the really deep lovemaking where the glow lasts for weeks or months is more often with very long term lovers.

I think it's fair to say the potential of a long term relationship is also good juice even to a new relationship.

Yes?

-Jeff

[countrygirl]

Yes. I believe that the potential of a long term relationship is great juice in a new relationship. A little scary at first but some of that excitement comes from that I think. I do appreciate your candor and completely agree about discussing relationship details. I kind of believe like that old song "Behind closed doors". And of course everyone knows a gentlemen doesn't kiss and talk about it. That can be for intimate conversation with your closest people. I was just hoping to get some mental, emotional support and feedback from my community. Thanks for the good words to contemplate. Words of wisdom, discussion can always be helpful especially when your going through a personal hard time. I can't always talk to ol' friends like I wish and having this forum is helpful. I did finally get to talk to an old friend this week that helped. He had gone through something similar and it was good to find a comrade. What helped this person was thinking about the relationship and realizing that as much as they loved each other, it wasn't a perfect or even really good match. You have to keep on going even through the pain and try to make yourself the best you, you can be. That advice helped me and even though I'm wounded, I'll shall percervere. With a little help from my friends, of course.

Agreed. I don't usually discuss my relationship details on this forum, but generally speaking, for me the best sex happens with people whose bodies I know well and whose desires I know well. Sure, I can have great sex with a new person, but the really deep lovemaking where the glow lasts for weeks or months is more often with very long term lovers.

I think it's fair to say the potential of a long term relationship is also good juice even to a new relationship.

Yes?

-Jeff

[Dionysos]

Only primitive organisms have sex for the sake of sex. Human beings, for better or worse, tend to attribute meaning to the act. Even the desire to "just have sex" distinguishes, or attempts to distinguish, the raw act from other understandings of sex, and itself becomes an understanding, attributing a value of some sort.

[notsomuch]

(apologies if any of this might be redundant, but there's a lot to read through in this thread and - oh look, a chicken!)

While a lot of humans certainly act like more primitive organisms it seems compartmentalization accounts for a lot of it. Anyone who has ever posted a personal ad or maybe used a dating site has probably seen this, if you don't post your picture to start with. You may have a good conversation and find that you share similar meaning on things, etc. But once the pictures exchange, or perhaps something as simple as mention of race then all the sudden the only thing you hear are crickets chirping away.

Oh by the way, the title might be thought of in a "zen" (snicker) kind of way - hell I'll even quote Dogen - "A bird flies like a bird" ... "A fish swims like a fish." So how does human beings f... umm, you know. That's the question though isn't it? It isn't that it isn't intrinsically fulfilling or whatever, but there's a lot in the how. Sex based on shared delusion while spirituality or whatever other highly meaningful thing gets put in another little box just seems to be a little off as in - what's wrong with this picture?

What is that quote from the movie Dogma: Bethany: "Sex is a joke in heaven?" Metatron: "From what I understand it's mostly a joke down here too."

[Toxic Reverend]

Only primitive organisms have sex for the sake of sex. Human beings, for better or worse, tend to attribute meaning to the act. Even the desire to "just have sex" distinguishes, or attempts to distinguish, the raw act from other understandings of sex, and itself becomes an understanding, attributing a value of some sort.

Would not meaningless sex with significant orgasms
qualify as "attributing meaning to the act" ?

People that are programmed with shame and guilt
with regard to their sexuality seem to have a problem
with that.

It is as though their "programming" prevents
orgasms and they need a good "brainwashing".

I was living in a commune in 1984 that often had such
topics of conversations. Speaking for myself, this is an
old topic that had been thoroughly addressed by
"The Love Guru"..

A man called, "Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh", was also
called "The Love Guru". He had changed his name to "Osho", before his death. In 1984, he had a commune of about 10,000 people called "Rajneeshpuram", in Oregon.

When you at first arrived there, you were checked for
STD's and given a red bead to wear. Once you were
cleared (about ten days for the test results), you were
given your choice of a blue or a green bead to wear.
Blue, ask me I might. Green, ask me I probably will.
Or you could choose two red beads that meant you
were in a "committed monotonous" or I mean a
"monogamous relationship".


I have more posted about that at a blog titled;

$700 Billion Fraud - ACLU Action Plan against NWO
and videos of Criminal Charges Cheney Bush
(view more)
at
MySpace.com - Toxic Reverend an Environmental Technologist - 50 - Male - Santa Rosa, Sonoma County, California - www.myspace.com/toxicreverend

I had added the "Rajneeshpuram" to the blog to
show how the "Co-Intel Pro" works, as well as exposing
that what is claimed to be the first and largest biological
weapons attack on American's is "propaganda" and
most likely the work of "Co-Intel Pro".

If you want the short version from that "work in progress"
of a blog, try this Youtube video:>

Rise and Fall of Rajneeshpuram
Posted at:
YouTube - Rise and Fall of Rajneeshpuram




Blessings,

The Toxic reverend
www.myspace.com/toxicreverend

[justme]

WOW!!!! This thread has run all over the place.... From sex to EPA to mykils spelling to sex is just an animal instinct to toxins to rajneesh...

Damn, I've always enjoyed sex whether it was with a partner or just the spur of the moment sport type.

Animal based? Maybe... So what is wrong with that? Maybe we should focus on when, instead of why!!!!!!

Mykil, you spel jest fine.....

[justme]

What the hel* does criminal charges against Bush/Cheney have to do with Sex for the sake of sex Mr. Toxic Reverand?

Geez..

[Dram]

And so a country song " Don't take the girl " starts out between a father and son going fishing, and that third grade thing of how many were before the chemicals began to flow, and the end of that song when the man would give anything to keep harm from the girl...

So that is good, but if it is because of the " chemicals " what then of the chemicals such as crack cocaine and what that brings to sex and then what of other chemicals not chosen that might be what fills prisons? Is the Prison industry lockstep-ed with the chemical industry?

[Dixon]

...I meet a wonderful little Mexican woman, she invites me over and we talk, she takes a shower and comes out in a sexy lingerie. ...then she hits play on her DVD and porn comes on and she is all over me, while I am all over her. I start to finger her and then without even thinking I go down on her and make her cum in about a minute. She sayz that was wonderful and now you have to go I need to go out and do something important! I am like what? She sayz I need to leave and I am like I heard you I just don’t know what to say. She sayz she is sorry and to make sure I call her again really soon. I am like what do you want me to call you? I felt soo used...

Mykil, I can understand your disappointment in not being allowed to stick around for awhile and suck this lady into a few more orgasms, but to feel so "used" that you don't want to see her again (as you made clear in a later post in this thread)? Hell, give me her phone number! She can "use" me! There's absolutely nothing I love more than sucking a lady! Silly boy--if you don't appreciate it, pass it over to me!

[alanora]

Mykil, I can understand your disappointment in not being allowed to stick around for awhile and suck this lady into a few more orgasms, but to feel so "used" that you don't want to see her again (as you made clear in a later post in this thread)? Hell, give me her phone number! She can "use" me! There's absolutely nothing I love more than sucking a lady! Silly boy--if you don't appreciate it, pass it over to me!

All of a sudden this thread was brought back to life and appeared in my digest, does any one know why?

[Dixon]

All of a sudden this thread was brought back to life and appeared in my digest, does any one know why?

This thread was brought back to life because I stumbled upon it for the first time and decided to respond to Mykil's post. It appeared in your digest either because you posted in this thread yourself or because you're subscribed to the Conscious Relationship category.

[Dixon]

To respond to the original question: sex for its own sake is just fine and dandy. It's nearly always guaranteed to be better than whatever is on TV. Sex isn't some sinful thing that has to be with someone you're in love with or married to or monogamous with in order to be justified or redeemed. Having said that, I've found it's generally more fulfilling the more you love the person--at least until one or both partners start to get tired of the other. Also, plain old horny sex tends to be bonding. Some call it the Pleasure Bond. I always feel closer to someone after having sex with her. I still have tender feelings for women I had sex with just once, decades ago. The two great loves of my life started as "casual" sexual relationships (though sex has always been too special to me to really be casual).

[MarilynO]

I am not prudish, but I think it is really inappropriate to post this kind of thing on a community website. Such conversation has its place, but good grief, I don't think this is it. There are plenty of sexy places on line that aren't community and family oriented.