Well Here's Something To Wrap Your Heads Around

[DevaKai]

A friend of mine made this comment tonight:

"Men don't relate to us. They are not meant to. They are merely companions that one gets used to having around. One becomes content."

Wow...Oh My God! I just do not know what to think about this.

D~

[Photoguy]

I would say that it's unfortunate that your friend has never had the experience of connecting on a deep level with a male. Men have some traits that are generally true and woman also do, though I wouldn't want to catalog them here. As a male who loves women, if I was to believe all women are barbie-galleria-Gucci types I would feel the same. I am fortunate to realize there are many levels of connection to be achieved with people regardless of sex, if you are open to it. It sounds like men have betrayed or let her down in the past. As long as she believes it's true, it probably is.

[hales]

But, how DO you feel about men, Devakai.. are they just accessories to "one's" lifestyle? Personally, I know I go out of my way to try to relate to women, and I enjoy that, much of the time. I agree with photo that it's pretty sad when any person makes assumptions and projections about the opposite sex, or reduces them to "thing-ness". (I'm not saying I never did that; I think it's a trap that's really easy to fall into, but can't we try to grow together through communications, good will and working on the issues and problems that sometime arise? Aw.. that came out sounding funny.. ; )

It would be really cool, for starters to give people of the opposite sex, or just people in general, the benefit of a doubt and some slack.. we all make mistakes and faux pas, but we can have a sense of humor about it and recognize it a part of the human condition, can't we?

On a deeper level I think it really is (or could be) about love, not just sexual attraction, or emotional entanglement, but open-hearted giving and recieving of love. Failing that, we can perhaps offer each other respect and good-will.

Blessings and best wishes.. ; )

Scott.

A friend of mine made this comment tonight:

"Men don't relate to us. They are not meant to. They are merely companions that one gets used to having around. One becomes content."

Wow...Oh My God! I just do not know what to think about this.

D~

[Sylph]

"Men don't relate to us. They are not meant to. They are merely companions that one gets used to having around. One becomes content."

Pretty sad on one level! Sounds like she has had disappointing experiences with the men in her life. She's 'settled' for being content with men who she can't find a deep connection with. Is the problem with her or her choice of men? I have to lean toward the feeling that she may be the one with the problem.
"Merely companions"? Yikes. Might as well have a German Shepard.

Hopefully, she was just in the midst of some temporary frustration with a specific individual of the male persuasion.

[NudeTea]

Mass-categorizations always kinda bug me.

Personally, I can see the communication gap between men and women, sure.

But I really enjoy giving each person a chance to be known on an individual basis instead of statistically herding them into categories based on gender, color, ethnicity, etc.

As for you, I appreciate your posts here on Wacco.

[DevaKai]

You know I'm actually really glad that you asked...To be honest I just got out of a complex relationship so I'm feeling unsure as to how I should approach men at this time. I do not think men are accessories, they are human beings with thoughts, feelings, hopes and dreams. What does concern me is the way society at large sees men. Like men are suppose to "bring home the bacon" and "be strong" and "not cry". Women too have been categorized as to how we're suppose to think, feel, and react.

What I just want is for people at large to get along and hopefully and truly love one another.

But, how DO you feel about men, Devakai.. are they just accessories to "one's" lifestyle? Personally, I know I go out of my way to try to relate to women, and I enjoy that, much of the time. I agree with photo that it's pretty sad when any person makes assumptions and projections about the opposite sex, or reduces them to "thing-ness". (I'm not saying I never did that; I think it's a trap that's really easy to fall into, but can't we try to grow together through communications, good will and working on the issues and problems that sometime arise? Aw.. that came out sounding funny.. ; )

It would be really cool, for starters to give people of the opposite sex, or just people in general, the benefit of a doubt and some slack.. we all make mistakes and faux pas, but we can have a sense of humor about it and recognize it a part of the human condition, can't we?

On a deeper level I think it really is (or could be) about love, not just sexual attraction, or emotional entanglement, but open-hearted giving and recieving of love. Failing that, we can perhaps offer each other respect and good-will.

Blessings and best wishes.. ; )

Scott.

[NorseViking869]

I to came out of a complex relationship. However, it wasn't meant to be. I simply wanted to be in love and be loved. It was made complex by all types of outside influences. I did my best to just love simply;however, I was not ust dating my lover whom i still cherish. I was dating her good side and bad side, her mom by proxy and her ex by proxy! I was not strong enough to ride the wave. I ended up on the losing end of this relationship. I learnesd alot, but I lost a part of myself. I did not only lose apartner but my bestfriend. I know I will recover, but it may take me along time.

[NorseViking869]

I know I was more than a companion to all the women I dated, especially the last relationship. I think that what Deva Kai's friend wrote paints a grim portrait of what she see's in her partners. Not a pretty picture. not in the least. I want to "really Get" my partners thoughts and dreams, understand her moods and cycles. Roll with the punches and grow everyday into a better lover than I was the day before.

[hales]

S: Hi, Devakai, thanks for expressing your feelings and thoughts about this..

You know I'm actually really glad that you asked...To be honest I just got out of a complex relationship so I'm feeling unsure as to how I should approach men at this time.

S:Maybe that's a good thing.. being unsure, I mean.. if we think about how we are "supposed" to be in relationship, aren't we missing the reality of the moment? I think it's good to be present and aware and just see what happens. Of course this is all colored by our past experiences, beliefs, etc., and coming out of a relationship is often hard; we have to process through those experiences and make some kind of sense. I think it's good to take some time for reflection, but things don't always go that way. (although I have often need time when there have been difficulties that did not get sorted out and a relationship has ended.)


DK: I do not think men are accessories, they are human beings with thoughts, feelings, hopes and dreams. What does concern me is the way society at large sees men. Like men are suppose to "bring home the bacon" and "be strong" and "not cry". Women too have been categorized as to how we're suppose to think, feel, and react.

S: Yes, but we are fee to make our own personal rules for ourselves, our own boundaries and values. And to go at our own speed.

DK: What I just want is for people at large to get along and hopefully and truly love one another.

I fully agree with this.. thanks again!

Scott.

[DevaKai]

I'm glad we got to discuss this more. It helps.
I appreciate you expressing your feelings towards this topic.

D~

S: Hi, Devakai, thanks for expressing your feelings and thoughts about this..



I fully agree with this.. thanks again!

Scott.