What does it mean when you are trying to communicate with your lover and he always feels attacked and gets defensive. No matter how I try an bring up a subject or talk about how something makes me feel when it's about him. I've try talking calmly,non-violent communication,creative,trying not to sound condescending ,accusatory,like he's the bad guy. Even at some point in the conversation telling him about his good points. Now I'm loosing my patience and just getting pissed. He say's he will look at something and doe's'nt do the work. I'm not perfect and I don't always say the right thing. I try to correct myself when I realize I've made a mistake. What doe's it mean when a man? When by the time the conversation is over all the chairs around the table are three feet out and he is standing in the kitchen leaning against the sink with his arms folded while your at the dinning room table. We can see each other but he's running. Then when we get no where and then he has to have alone time and go home. Even after I invite him to bed just to hold one another and not talk anymore. I'm always making things better the next day. (obviously I have my issues). By the way one of are issue's (my issue) is weve been together 2 years and I don't think it possibul for him to live with anyone. He has not lived with a women in 16 year. I'm 42. I dont necessarly need marriage but I wood like to know it's possible to get to the next level in a relationship. He really is a great guy in many other way's. Good looking,creative,motivated,hardworking,fun,he makes me laugh,we like to do a lot of the same things,listen to the same music,he passionent,great in bed. In the beginning I thought I hit the jackpot. In the beginning we fell in love very quickly. He said (there you are ,I've been looking for you my whole life). Talked about living together, marriage kids. And now I feel lied to and I feel resentful. I know he did'nt lie. We were both at fault. Anyway sorry about the ramble. I was only going to ask a question and this is what came out.
feeling hopeless
Veeja