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Thread: Cat Power!
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    sd gross's Avatar
    sd gross

    Cat Power!

    May 6, 2008
    Sphincter Gap, CA

    Gov. Schwarzenegger Considers Proposal to Explore Cat Power

    Desperate to keep up with escalating power demands in America's most populous state, the Governor has recently been driven to audit sometimes, radical solutions.
    "I know you'll have trouble taking me seriously but it seems a viable, virtually untapped resource and I think we should explore it," said Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger in a speech to a group of California's county and civic Power and Utilities Commissioners. "We have literally millions of feral cats running around who could be installed in lightweight cylinders which, when turned, will generate a good 20% of all the electricity our State needs," he optimistically advised.
    Reassuring listeners that it would all be done in a humane fashion overseen by animal rights organizations who would report back to the public, The Felinator painted a picture of huge, multi-level warehouses (possibly unused armories and abandoned factories) with tens of thousands of cats getting fresh air, good food and lots of healthy exercise in a safe environment, while turning cylinders, designed to simulate a natural, cat-friendly environment, which would generate hydrostatic electricity. "There are millions of uncared-for felines out there starving, killing squirrels and birds and becoming wedged between the tread of our Humvee's Michelins who could live useful, healthy and productive lives," said Schwarzenegger.
    P.E.T.A. spokesperson Maureen Mancks said she had concerns about the cats being properly fed and their cylinders being kept clean and providing ample stimulation, and questions about what would be done to cats who became "to old to crank out the kilowatts."
    The Tennis Racket divisions of the Wilson and Spalding Sporting Goods companies are offering to underwrite the operation.

    Seem like a viable solution to you?

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  2. TopTop #2

    Re: Cat Power!

    Wacko! But very imaginative.

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