Tell us! Women . . . What do You really want?

[Conly]

Tell us! Women . . . What do You really want?

I expect that the answers will be as varied as the number of responses.
Certainly the obverse was true. But still, regardless of gender, What are You looking for in a partner or lover.
Now be honest Ladies. No judgments here, just an opportunity to enlighten others.

Conly

Life continues
As mysteries unfold before us
Rarely solved
Often unnoticed

[alanora]

I recently forwarded an e-mail to Barry that puts pretty clearly what it is I want vs. what men want. I would love it if he could/would post it here as it is no longer in my files.....it was a perfect response to this question. Let me say that the females' list of requirements for ideal male were longer than the males'. mindy

[alanora]

and here they are.

WOMAN'S POEM
Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong.

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed,

When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'

I pray that this man will love me to no end,

And always be my very best friend.

I recently forwarded an e-mail to Barry that puts pretty clearly what it is I want vs. what men want. I would love it if he could/would post it here as it is no longer in my files.....it was a perfect response to this question. Let me say that the females' list of requirements for ideal male were longer than the males'. mindy

MAN'S POEM
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

[scorpiomoon]

Well, I enjoyed this a little but am hmm a little bit tired of stereotypes regarding both men and women. I think my husband fits perfectly into this so I acknowledge my "gift"
and of course this is 80% of the time. We all have our moments when we are less than perfect. And what else, I am a feminist but still like a door opened for me or a well placed compliment. I think if we all show our partners (lovers, potential partners)compassion --try to see the others point of view that will go a long way toward better communication better sex better living better everything. One note too sometimes we get what we expect to get so if you expect a sterotypical man he will fall into that groove easily.

WOMAN'S POEM
Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong.

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed,

When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'

I pray that this man will love me to no end,

And always be my very best friend.


MAN'S POEM
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

[mykil]

Oh come on! You all can say it; You all know you just want me!!!

[Willie Lumplump]

MAN'S POEM
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

Seems fair to me.

[scorpiomoon]

Seems fair to me.

This is where the "un" gratitude button should be used

[Willie Lumplump]

This is where the "un" gratitude button should be used

Well, of course you realize that my comment is self-parody. Or a parody of men in general.

[Conly]

Gents,
I really did word this to get the Female response. I was hoping to get more thought provoking responses from the women on Wacco.
The two poems are a good start (I got quite a chuckle) but the one liners defeat the purpose of a thoughtful exchange.

Ladies of the Wacco,
Here is an opportunity to tell the rest of us what you truly seek in lover(s)/partner(s). regardless of your gender preferences. Here is a chance to enlighten others and contribute to an engaging dialog.

Conly

Life continues
As mysteries unfold before us
Rarely solved
Often unnoticed

[Lorrie]

Looking for a nice guy my age that I can do stuff with.
Physically, the man I would be most interested in is big and buffed, muscular and tall 5'9"- 6'4". He would have a boyish face, all his teeth, and a full head of hair. I prefer longish hair. I am not that fond of really really short or bald heads. I like something there to run my fingers through. This is my preference, however I am not so shallow. I know that it is what is in the heart that matters. He will be very funny, and fun, likes the outdoors, into sports, is neat and clean, and smells good. He communicates well, and is easy going without alot of drama in his life. He would be generally a happy person and likes to spread it. A man that is sincere, generous, kind, caring, likes to hold hands and be affectionate. A guy that has a great sense of humor and likes to talk, bring me presents, and likes to cuddle, he is adventurous, handsome, strong, sensitive, rugged and peaceful man. Steady & mature. I Want "The Gentleman". Open minded and not afraid to try something new. A man that is a really great cook. Knows his way around wine. Likes country music but not only.

He loves dogs and animals, maybe has one himself. A man that has a mired of interesting things going on that he would want someone like me to share with him when he does em. He will like Monster Truck races, Demolition Derbies, Rodeos, NASCAR Races, Camping and other outdoor activities.

In general terms as well, I would like to meet a "cowboy", a "construction worker", "mechanic" "heavy machinery operator", or other physical labor type worker or risk taking type work. I would like a someone who is a Libra, Gemini, Aires, Aquarius, or Leo. Age preferred is at 39 - 47 years.

Now, this is not an Ad...But what I would want in a man as was requested.

Gents,
I really did word this to get the Female response. I was hoping to get more thought provoking responses from the women on Wacco.
The two poems are a good start (I got quite a chuckle) but the one liners defeat the purpose of a thoughtful exchange.

Ladies of the Wacco,
Here is an opportunity to tell the rest of us what you truly seek in lover(s)/partner(s). regardless of your gender preferences. Here is a chance to enlighten others and contribute to an engaging dialog.

Conly

Life continues
As mysteries unfold before us
Rarely solved
Often unnoticed

[Moon]

For one thing, as we've been telling you for 30 years, i'm not a lady. Of course,
i realize that, despite wacco's being "for the progressive community" (which for
the most part, in most ways, does describe its subscribers) we get comments
like--in response to my letting someone know where to get free firewood--
"I'm a girl." (Well, as far as i'm concerned, girl is less insulting than lady. At least
there was a time when i was, in fact, a girl.) Sorry, Willie, i don't mean to make
you the fall guy; i'm pretty sure most "progressive" men would have put it the same
way. (I've noticed that, generally speaking, what "pacifist" men mean by peace
is that state of affairs in which there is war against only dogs, cats, cattle, pigs,
birds, womyn, children and all the rest of us sub-humans--not against any regular people.
So, to paraphrase Joseph Heller's Catch-22 character Yossarian: I'm a womon;
if a man cares enough about womyn to do his homework in feminism, there's
a chance he can come to care about me. Or, to put my first requirement another
way, he needs to have read at least a couple of the most elementary feminist
works: The Dialectic of Sex, The Second Sex, The First Sex, The Descent
of Woman, Small Changes. He also needs to care about people different
from himself besides womyn, i.e. he needs to be an honest-to-goodness leftist,
not just a liberal Democrat; it doesn't matter whether he identifies as socialist,
communist, anarchist or just a Green--all i care about in this area is that we have
enough overlap in world view to have a basis for discussing the fine points.
He needs to be a clean-air breather (i.e., tobacco-smoke free) and a non-violent
communicator. I also appreciate a sense of humor--meaning both someone
who can make jokes and someone who laughs at mine. Finally, he needs to be able
to keep up with me intellectually; i score around 160 on standardized IQ tests, and
for me, smart is sexy.
I think the first part of my response is the kind of thing you wanted to know, but
i'll leave the more individual parts of the answer just in case a man--or womon--
reading this is interested.

[shellebelle]

I want a man who is my best friend and since one usually has more than one best friend that means I need a man who can over come jealousy and accept he is not everything to me just the best of who he is and accept the other "friends" will range from platonic to lovers and they all fit into the puzzle perfectly.

I want a man who can first, second, third and fourth and sometimes a bit beyond. Because we all have to wait in line sometimes and though I am a great multi-tasker there are times when one of my friends needs me more than another and sometimes total focus is required.

I want a man who loves conversation over food from cooking to eating. Who understands good food is meant to be shared with others while enjoying wonderful conversation.

I want a man who understands I don't always need help, its not always PMS or a "girl" thing, sometimes I just need good sex; amazing what a long play can do for your energy.

I want a man who understands that because I don't "need" him in this moment that doesn't mean I won't in the next.

I want a man who understands just because I want to do it myself doesn't mean I don't want someone to catch me if I fall or fix my screw ups when I get overwhelmed.

I want honesty, trust and truth; a man who can talk to me about emotions, computers, my passions, food, life, children, sex, fantasy, joy, dishes, house cleaning, and everything under the sun and accepts that he may not alwyas be the best person for me to talk to and encourage me to call my other "friends" who share my passions.

I want a man who understands my complications and appreciates my simplicity.

I want a man who understands and recognizes I am a diamond and every growth adds a facet and makes me shine with greater depth and sparkle.

I want a man who realizes I will always try to "fix" everything, that everything and everyone needs a mama and that tends to be me, and that can pull me back a couple of steps when I want to rescue the fallen without given them a chance to get up and dust themselves off (I am a mama - fall and I run to rescue) and who can put up with the emotions that will come into play.

I want a man who realizes I am just as protective of him as I am of my children despite him not being my child and despite being old enough to take care of himself. I am mama - Its who I am.

I want a man who is not afraid of nudity and doesn't equate it to sexuality but can when appropriate.

I want a man who my girlfriends can share on any level they choose and can handle the ever changing demands, desires, passions and emotional drama of well girls.

I want a man who loves himself and appreciates his talents and contributions no matter how the world may see them.

I want a man who realizes he only has to fit me not the world.

Okay thats most of it.

Thanks to the men in my life that fill all this little niches and do so with grace and integrity, I love you all and couldn't do it without you!

[Willie Lumplump]

LOL yes yes but there is always something under the hood worth looking at or using. ROFLMAO

I dunno 'bout that. There are times when a woman should just run away. What should tip a woman off that a man isn't who she's looking for? I can give a man's-eye view:

1. If a man is overly possessive, drop him. This isn't an isolated character flaw amenable to change; it's part of a whole syndrome. It means that he thinks you're his Mama.

2. If a man displays too many signs of narcissism, drop him. Women need to learn the signs of narcissism.

3. If a man has touble with dialog, that is, if he has trouble with the basic process of holding a conversation--talking, then keeping quiet and listening, and then responding to you--that's a bad sign. If a man keeps quiet and appears to listen but then, rather than responding, just continues on with the monolog he was delivering before he was interrupted, that's a bad sign. It means he was only pretending to listen or that he listened but didn't care what you said.

4. If a man shows anger when you contradict him, drop him. It could be that he's becoming angry because your contradictions are beginning to penetrate the facade that he presents to the world as his true self.

5. If a man is evasive about his personal information, where he lives, what his telephone number is, what his living arrangements are, drop him.

6. If a man has trouble maintaining eye contact, drop him. It may mean that he isn't seeing you. However, be aware of a difference: Women tend to maintain eye contact while they are talking and then look away often while they are listening, whereas men tend to look away more while they are talking and maintain eye contact while they are listening.

7. Anger is perfectly OK, but it should be proportional to the situation, and if a man not only gets angry but gets in your face, drop him.

[Barry]

At this point a bunch of chatter broke out. I got at least one good laugh out of it! In any case it has been moved to a thread in the Censored and Uncensored category called Girls and their thrills.

Can we now resume with our regularly scheduled programming:

Tell us! Women . . . What do You really want?

I expect that the answers will be as varied as the number of responses.
Certainly the obverse was true. But still, regardless of gender, What are You looking for in a partner or lover.
Now be honest Ladies. No judgments here, just an opportunity to enlighten others.

I, for one, am very interested to hear what the ladies have to say!
Guys may comment and ask questions, but lets try to keep this thread on track.

Ladies...?

[Tinque]

...I, for one, am very interested to hear what the ladies have to say!
Guys may comment and ask questions, but lets try to keep this thread on track.

Ladies...?

I want someone who is honest , sexy , likes to read out loud or be read to. Play darts , Scattagories or Kerplunk. Loves to eat, be eaten . Likes walks on the beach. A new sexual experience without #$#$. Wants to hold my hand, or not. Enjoys their own space and appreciates mine. Wants to see me in sexy lingerie or maybe without. Wants to make love , have sex and fuck and maybe all in the same hour. Wants to wash my back while I am in a bath and has no problem asking me to do the same. I want someone who is fun , spontaneous, loving and real..I want someone who can share .. Laughter.. Sorrow.. Pain.. Joy.. or whatever.. Be my best friend

[Conly]

Earlier in this thread some took offence at my use of the words “Ladies” & “Gents”. I meant these only as polite honorifics. No offence was intended.
OK now that that’s outa the way.
I want to say thank you to those who responded. It has been an informative and Lively exchange so far. But somehow I feel that there are many potential respondents just lurking around the edges. I want to invite them to get their feet wet and give us their two or three cents as well.
C’mon, the more the merrier and the better informed we will all be.
Thank you all for your thoughtful contributions to this on going dialog.

Conly

Life continues
As mysteries unfold before us
Rarely solved
Often unnoticed

[shellebelle]

I think its important for a man to love and respect himself. I'm not in the repair business don't come broken and expect things to "miraculously" be "fixed".

Men look in the mirror and use a big one not a small one and look at yourself. Look at yourself with the same eye you would a woman walking down the street or walking up to you. See if you are everything she would want or ask yourself if you were looking through her eyes what would you think.

Watch yourself in a plate glass window. Do you walk head down, do you slouch, what body messages are you sending and is it what you really want to send. Nothing bugs me more than a tall man trying to be short. Yes I know the issues of being tall and short I am short and my boyfriends are normally very tall. I've had to sit on tables while they sat on chairs to even talk anywhere close to face to face but I still wanted him to walk tall and proud - he's with me - he should be tall and proud even if he's 3' tall or if he's 10' tall!

Be considerate - Here great story

My spouse and I were at a resort with a friend. Nice guy but never stood proud, never paid any attention to the details of him. My husband is sweet and shy often; especially around beautiful women. All day long a beautiful natural redhead had been wandering past us and around to various areas (common in a resort). She was stunning - if she wasn't a model she should have been. The guy we were with really wanted to talk to her but couldn't find a thought to share. Not even words to introduce himself. At one point we were in line and my spouse was off a foot just staying out of the line so it wasn't so congested at the small counter. The woman walked in with a friend who mentioned she had forgotten lemon for her tea. We all heard the conversation in my case I was placing an order so only caught bits and pieces but I got the gist. The woman said oh I'm getting a fork I'll ask for lemon. and into the congestion she came. As she grabbed a fork she realized there was no lemon with the sugar and no free person to ask. As the clerk returned with whatever I had ordered (which typically includes iced tea and did that day too) my husband stepped forward and said "I'd like a small bowl of lemons for her ice tea please." The clerk handed them right over. The woman had given up and walked out the door by now so my husband lemon bowl in hand tracked her down and handed over the lemons. A hero to two gorgeous women who appreciated that someone was willing to be considerate. All day he got envious stares from the other men because not only had he talked to these women they had talked back! And they continued to greet him through out the day. They never acknowledge our friend and he never made eye contact or said hello.

Moral: be considerate, helpful and acknowledge yourself.

Okay thats my thoughts.

[TayanaGirl37]

Tinque,
Like your description. Got one like that with a brother or some such?

My basic "looking for" outline: The inside matters more than the outside!

He wants companionship, love, partnership rather than being needy (driven to have somebody).

He's smart enough to keep up, different enough to be interesting, and savvy enough to be okay with the down times and separate times.

He wants to go DO stuff!!! Ye gods...no couch potatoes. We would make each other miserable.

He's healthy without being a lifestyle-Nazi or into chemical enhancement of said lifestyle.

He likes to read and share what we read.

He's got some chosen path of personal evolution and growth.

He lives in his body, instead of his mind, and enjoys our bodies!

Guess it comes down to: connection rather than need, intelligent, interesting, active, healthy, evolving, passionate. Icing on the cake includes on the tall side, longer hair, and a good belly laugh!

[sensualspirit]

Hi All,

I came across this board looking for an radio/internet interviewer, found that post, & then ended up here :)

So, I'm new to the board & it's a shame I don't live locally, as you all seem to be inline with who I am.

Seeing this question, I felt it was a more open ended question for ALL women, so I decided to respond.

I always seek new friends anyway even if they are long distance, as you never know who can become your best phone friend, and/or partner.

I don't believe in communicating only online, or LDRs, but I do believe in relocation, & I've had many phone friends in the past & still do.

So, what I look for in a man...

1. Someone open minded, as I'm biamorous & polyamorous (not a polysexual or swinger), but I can still be in a mono relationship. This just doesn't negate who I am as a human being.

2. Someone very intelligent & intuitive as am I.

3. Excitement & Fun - this is an absolute must for me, & while everyone has their own opinion about what this means, for me, I don't like sitting at home ALL the time, but I can do it when I'm alone & partially when I'm in a relationship.

With my partner I want to go out & do things, try new restaurants, see new people, take new courses together, explore the world around us & also spend alone time at home connecting with him/her, as well as to myself. Alone time for me is a MUST.

I don't wish to go out every night of the week, but I don't want to be spending all my time in the house either.

4. Balance - Someone who is balanced.

I love being spontaneous, but I also like planning things so I am not wasting time driving all over the place.

Someone who isn't an extreme one way or another all the time.

5. Making a lot of money is important to me, as I have quality tastes, & want nice things, to travel, live in a gorgeous house, help society, build an alternative school, etc.

I need money for that, & I am really only seeking others who love money, & don't have a problem striving to make it.

I recently learned how to balance my spiritual side with my money side :)

6. Romantic - no, I'm not a sap or into frilly things (I'm more of a modern, chic type of person). I do feel that being romantic is an internal thing. You either feel like being thoughtful, giving (big or small) & being creative towards your partner so the relationship flourishes, or you don't, & that goes for both men & women.

7. Love - a man who knows the difference between infatuation & love.

I'm looking for someone who has already started loving themselves so in the future the potential is there to love me purely.

You can't love someone else if you don't love yourself. That's spirituality 101. While I love myself quite a bit, I still work on that one :)

8. Relationships - I'm seeking a man who understands that relationships take effort & constant attention.

Love isn't the only thing that is needed in a relationship, & I want someone who's intelligent enough to know this.

I seek a man who gets that if it's not working outside the bedroom, it won't work inside the bedroom & no amount of sex or pushing for sex is going to fix a relationship that is unhealthy.

9. Communication - is soooo crucial in all relationships. I seek a man who first agrees with that 100%.

He knows how to listen & pick up on the topic I'm discussing & actually make it into a full blown conversation. He can converse about things I know or know nothing about & can teach me.

A man who is secure enough to admit he can learn from me, he can almost always keeps the conversation going, but loves that silence as well.

Can communicate with or without words & is intuitive enough to sense my moods.

I seek a man who has a good memory & remembers (most of the time) that he already told me that story so I don't have to hear it over & over again :)

A man who is spiritually advanced enough that he says how he feels & is always willing to learn how to be a better communicator.

A man who doesn't just talk, but actually takes his words & parlays it into ACTION.

As I always say, "Actions speak louder than words"!

10. I'm seeking a man who has a career/business that is important to him both intellectually & morally, yet it isn't more important than our relationship.

11. I seek a man who believes in the Universe - I don't believe in god or religion, I ONLY believe in the Universe & energy, & I seek a man who believes the same & has also been studying spirituality for years now.

A man who's past the point of left brain thinking about spirituality, & has moved to somatically understanding spirituality.

While we all have fears including me, a man who acts despite his fears & doesn't live in a state of fear letting life pass him by.

12. Health - A man who is a non smoker on all counts (I quit smoking & smoking up 1 1/2 years ago).

A man who is at least somewhat knowledgeable when it comes to alternative health, healthy food (not talking mainstream healthy food here, but rather the more involved healthy food) & loves eating healthy most of the time.

A man who already knows that we create our own illnesses via our emotional issues & the body is just telling us we need to address something that is bothering us.

A man who loves & appreciates different types of foods as much as I do, as I'm a foodie & find food very erotic :)

A man who can work out at least some times, but isn't a fanatic about it.

13. Sense of humour - a man who has a somewhat dry sarcastic sense of humor & quick wit that is intelligent, but isn't trying to be funny 24/7.

14. Family - A man who doesn't have issues with kids & eventually bonding with them. My son is 15 years old.

15. Respect - A man who naturally respect others, & wouldn't dare think of ignoring someone, not returning calls or e-mails even if he has to say something that may hurt them.

Better to be open & honest than lie & hide.

16. A man who can handle my frustrations with people who lack respect, aren't very intelligent, businesses who don't give good customer service, etc.

He understands I'm always trying to work on my issues. :)

I don't consider myself to be this "high maintenance", but me not being like most other people, I can often get frustrated when I don't feel that connection & this man gets that & finds my complexities exciting, rather than daunting.

17. A man who has his own interests, but can also resonate with most of mine...

Dancing, Movies, TV, Reading, Learning, Spiritual Growth, Cooking, Theatre, Travel, Business, Music, & more...

18. A man who is an above average lover, likes to try new things, is passionate, sensual, yet has a wild side to him, & believes in making love most of the time, not just having sex to orgasm.

19. MOST importantly, a man who can start off as friends, & has no expectations as to what will happen other than the relationship be positive, flowing & growing.

Happy Holidays & Happy New Year Everyone, may all your desires come true : )

Love

Michelle

[Dark Shadows]

I have no idea, but when I find it, I'll let you know. I thought I found it when I was fifteen, but it changed. I don't think I will ever find anything that perfect again.

Hi All,

I came across this board looking for an radio/internet interviewer, found that post, & then ended up here :)

So, I'm new to the board & it's a shame I don't live locally, as you all seem to be inline with who I am.

Seeing this question, I felt it was a more open ended question for ALL women, so I decided to respond.

I always seek new friends anyway even if they are long distance, as you never know who can become your best phone friend, and/or partner.

I don't believe in communicating only online, or LDRs, but I do believe in relocation, & I've had many phone friends in the past & still do.

So, what I look for in a man...

[Willie Lumplump]

So, what I look for in a man...
5. Making a lot of money is important to me, as I have quality tastes, & want nice thingsMichelle

I'd encourage you to continue to be up-front in declaring your preference, as many really good men deserve a chance to run away as fast as possible.

[shellebelle]

LOL Run Willie RUN!!!!

But I have to agree money is a requirement for life and being honest about the partners participation in the budget is important and will help increase potential long term success.

I'd encourage you to continue to be up-front in declaring your preference, as many really good men deserve a chance to run away as fast as possible.

[silverhaze]

I seek a male of the human or immortal species. as I reside in another dimension it will be necessary for him to be psychically gifted, spiritually inclined, with a kind heart. His looks and age are negotiable/ I want a man who is NOT bisexual , with monogamous tendencies, who is emotionally available and very sexy.

[shellebelle]

Does the dimension he resides in matter or will any do? I know some way out there guys! Great guys but way out!

I seek a male of the human or immortal species. as I reside in another dimension it will be necessary for him to be psychically gifted, spiritually inclined, with a kind heart. His looks and age are negotiable/ I want a man who is NOT bisexual , with monogamous tendencies, who is emotionally available and very sexy.

[eccentrichild]

Tell us! Women . . . What do You really want?

I expect that the answers will be as varied as the number of responses.
Certainly the obverse was true. But still, regardless of gender, What are You looking for in a partner or lover.
Now be honest Ladies. No judgments here, just an opportunity to enlighten others.

Conly

Life continues
As mysteries unfold before us
Rarely solved
Often unnoticed

Aaaaaah what could this
Man creature be for me?
A pirate who likes to steal kisses
and hold me close…arrrrrrg
Some one who will share the
Oceans of possibilities with his wench!
A storyteller with a spectrum
Of adventures and passions
On his path to now.
Smart in a sharp, open,
Earthy, sort of flavor.
Very playful, independent and expressive.
~Yin-Yang~
Oh Yang O mine where for art thou?
Chemistry is the ultimate test.
Physically I like lots of things about my man creature.
I love movement, voice textures and accents,
aromas and all sorts of colors and shapes.
I never know what will sizzle my sauce.
The few men I have loved over the years
were very different physically; similarly they
were all very intelligent, excessively humorous,
playful, and passionate about life and loving.
By the way intelligence comes in many forms as well,
Life is a dam good teacher.
I would love to find a partner for life.
A man slowly, lingering and savoring
My body and heart
When he gets excited and the killen starts!
Gently wandering through thick and juicy
Sweet, sennnnsuousssss motions
Smoldering deep passions fire
At his tenderly teasing finger tips
Caressing my flesh with his warm breath,
Filling my senses with his musky scent
Pheromones saturating and weaving
An invisible spell with every husky breath
Mouths and lips and finger tips
Muscles, flesh and sultry bits,
Moving in slow motion
Stretching this scintillating moment
Into a timeless space...
Why in such a hurry when things get hahahahot?
Can we do something different
Ssssslllllloooow down and really linger
and immerse with in this extraordinary
mingling, tingling and melting of the flesh?
This woman likesss to streeeeeetch time
and enjoys the process much more than
the destination, we get there soooooon enough.
This man Creature honest, caring and true
Sparking and crackling with chemistry
we share…Yuuuuuum…

[Light]

I am a woman age 77. I am deeply into the Toltec Spiritual Path. I seek a man, probably in his 70's, who is studying the Toltec, or similar, path. Social Security is my only income, and I don't drive, or walk very well. I would like a relationship with a man who drives, and likes to attend spiritual gatherings. I need someone who is spiritually and emotionally mature, and who has a healthy attitude about sex. I enjoy music, love to laugh, am a writer. I prefer eating out a lot, when possible, and/or having a maid or housekeeper. I'm looking for a companion, but still enjoy a lot of time alone.

I don't enjoy spending lots of time cooking and doing dishes. My energy for physical things is somewhat limited. I prefer being with someone for whom sex is important, but not the uppermost goal of a relationship. I enjoy someone who is willing to be honest and explore the possibilities for spiritual transformation in the here and now.

I need someone who is extremely loving and likes to play. No stuffed shirts for me! If there is anyone out there for whom this is appealing, I hope to meet you. Soon. With love, Light

[TayanaGirl37]

And it can get even easier!

I'd like a date with an available, interested male where we both actually show up (on all levles), talk, have fun, and drop expectations.

If we don't start there, the rest of the "I wants" don't even matter.

[ChristineL]

I can't speak about any woman but myself. I am presently happily single and do enjoy my life exactly as it is. What I would first be looking for in a potential partner would be someone who knows himself and likes himself. If he doesn't like himself, why would anyone else? Someone who is not still pining for some lost love. Someone who is smart enough not to object to using a condum in this day of widespread STD's. No active alcoholics or addicts, it is impossible to have a healthy and honest relationship with an addict. I don't want someone who'll agree with me all the time, but he should respect my view points just as I should respect his. A sense of humor and an active mind are a must. I'm not a raving beauty, nor do I have a perfect body...but I do exercise, take care of myself and look attractive. I would expect the same in a partner...if he lifts weights and would go work out with me, it would be a definite plus. If his work schedule is as odd as mine, all the better. He needs to have a home, be making a living and have a vehicle. I am neither a free boarding house nor a chauffeur. I definitely want someone who would be my best friend as well as my lover. I don't care what he does for a living as long as he's taking care of business and is willing to do whatever it takes to do so. Homophobics and racists are definitely out. I want him to have his own interests and friends...as I do. I have learned that no one can be all things to another. He must be honest, not a liar and have integrity. Now for something that may seem silly...when giving presents he should think in terms of what I like and want; not what women in his past wanted, not what he thinks I would want...but what I want. I had an ex that would give me gold jewelry for Christmas...I almost never wear gold...I've received diamonds...I do not like diamonds. It seems if somebody loves you and spends a lot of time with you...he/she should know enough about you to have an idea what you like. At the very least, when he/she asks you, they should listen to the answer. I've had enough drama in my life to last several life times, no more people (even as friends) who turn everything into a drama or live from self created crisis to self created crisis. I've learned to take little for granted and I'm always grateful for anything I'm given, from a nice dinner out to a rose to a home cooked meal; I like to cook for others and do other nice things, the quickest way to get me to stop doing so is expecting these things with no "thank you" ever expressed. He should enjoy sex, but not be convinced he's the world's greatest lover and therefore have nothing to learn. I also think, at this point, I'd love to have someone who lives close by and visits often...I'm not sure I really want to live with someone 24/7 again.

[alanora]

I could just about ditto this were it not for the not liking gold and diamonds part.lol. mindy

I can't speak about any woman but myself. I am presently happily single and do enjoy my life exactly as it is. What I would first be looking for in a potential partner would be someone who knows himself and likes himself. If he doesn't like himself, why would anyone else? Someone who is not still pining for some lost love. Someone who is smart enough not to object to using a condum in this day of widespread STD's. No active alcoholics or addicts, it is impossible to have a healthy and honest relationship with an addict. I don't want someone who'll agree with me all the time, but he should respect my view points just as I should respect his. A sense of humor and an active mind are a must. I'm not a raving beauty, nor do I have a perfect body...but I do exercise, take care of myself and look attractive. I would expect the same in a partner...if he lifts weights and would go work out with me, it would be a definite plus. If his work schedule is as odd as mine, all the better. He needs to have a home, be making a living and have a vehicle. I am neither a free boarding house nor a chauffeur. I definitely want someone who would be my best friend as well as my lover. I don't care what he does for a living as long as he's taking care of business and is willing to do whatever it takes to do so. Homophobics and racists are definitely out. I want him to have his own interests and friends...as I do. A sense of humor is important. I have learned that no one can be all things to another. He must be honest, not a liar and have integrity. Now for something that may seem silly...when giving presents he should think in terms of what I like and want; not what women in his past wanted, not what he thinks I would want...but what I want. I had an ex that would give me gold jewelry for Christmas...I almost never wear gold...I've received diamonds...I do not like diamonds. It seems if somebody loves you and spends a lot of time with you...he/she should know enough about you to have an idea what you like. At the very least, when he/she asks you, they should listen to the answer. I've had enough drama in my life to last several life times, no more people (even as friends) who turn everything into a drama or live from self created crisis to self created crisis. I've learned to take little for granted and I'm always grateful for anything I'm given, from a nice dinner out to a rose to a home cooked meal; I like to cook for others and do other nice things, the quickest way to get me to stop doing so is expecting these things with no "thank you" ever expressed. He should enjoy sex, but not be convinced he's the world's greatest lover and therefore have nothing to learn. I also think, at this point, I'd love to have someone who lives close by and visits often...I'm not sure I really want to live with someone 24/7 again.

[TayanaGirl37]

Willie's tips seemed appropriate to me, and this one got me thinking.

2. If a man displays too many signs of narcissism, drop him. Women need to learn the signs of narcissism.

Having chosen to partner with a fella like this, I got to wondering about an "early warning system.' Needless to say it wasn't one of my better life choices! Here's what I found that was pretty straightforward.

True or false? Score one point for each true answer.
1. THIS PERSON HAS ACHIEVED MORE THAN MOST PEOPLE HIS OR HER AGE.
2. THIS PERSON IS FIRMLY CONVINCED THAT HE OR SHE IS BETTER, SMARTER, OR MORE TALENTED THAN OTHER PEOPLE.
3. THIS PERSON LOVES COMPETITION, BUT IS A POOR LOSER.
4. THIS PERSON HAS FANTASIES OF DOING SOMETHING GREAT OR BEING FAMOUS, AND OFTEN EXPECTS TO BE TREATED AS IF THESE FANTASIES HAD ALREADY COME TRUE.
5. THIS PERSON HAS VERY LITTLE INTEREST IN WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE THINKING OR FEELING, UNLESS HE OR SHE WANTS SOMETHING FROM THEM.
6. THIS PERSON IS A NAME DROPPER.
7. TO THIS PERSON IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO LIVE IN THE RIGHT PLACE AND ASSOCIATE WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE.
8. THIS PERSON TAKES ADVANTAGE OF OTHER PEOPLE TO ACHIEVE HIS OR HER OWN GOALS.
9. THIS PERSON USUALLY MANAGES TO BE IN A CATEGORY BY HIM OR HERSELF.
10. THIS PERSON OFTEN FEELS PUT UPON WHEN ASKED TO TAKE CARE OF HIS OR HER RESPONSIBILITIES TO FAMILY, FRIENDS, OR WORK GROUP.
11. THIS PERSON REGULARLY DISREGARDS RULES OR EXPECTS THEM TO BE CHANGED BECAUSE HE OR SHE IS IN SOME WAY SPECIAL.
12. THIS PERSON BECOMES IRRITATED WHEN OTHER PEOPLE DON'T AUTOMATICALLY DO WHAT HE OR SHE WANTS THEM TO DO, EVEN WHEN THEY HAVE A GOOD REASON FOR NOT COMPLYING.
13. THIS PERSON REVIEWS SPORTS, ART, AND LITERATURE BY TELLING YOU WHAT HE OR SHE WOULD HAVE DONE INSTEAD.
14. THIS PERSON THINKS MOST CRITICISMS OF HIM OR HER ARE MOTIVATED BY JEALOUSY.
15. THIS PERSON REGARDS ANYTHING SHORT OF WORSHIP TO BE REJECTION.
16. THIS PERSON SUFFERS FROM A CONGENITAL INABILITY TO RECOGNIZE HIS OR HER OWN MISTAKES. ON THE RARE OCCASIONS THAT THIS PERSON DOES RECOGNIZE A MISTAKE, EVEN THE SLIGHTEST ERROR CAN PRECIPITATE A MAJOR DEPRESSION.
17. THIS PERSON OFTEN EXPLAINS WHY PEOPLE WHO ARE BETTER KNOWN THAN HE OR SHE IS NOT REALLY ALL THAT GREAT.
18. THIS PERSON OFTEN COMPLAINS OF BEING MISTREATED OR MISUNDERSTOOD.
19. PEOPLE EITHER LOVE OR HATE THIS PERSON.
20. DESPITE THIS PERSON'S OVERLY HIGH OPINION OF HIM OR HERSELF, HE OR SHE IS REALLY QUITE INTELLIGENT AND TALENTED.
Scoring: Five or more true answers qualifies the person as a Narcissistic Emotional Vampire, though not necessarily for a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality. If the person scores higher than ten, and is not a member of the royal family, be careful that you aren't mistaken for one of the servants.
By ALBERT J. BERNSTEIN, Ph.D.