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  1. TopTop #1
    Shandi's Avatar
    Shandi
     

    Your definition of a "Mindful Man" ? What about a "Mindful Woman"?

    Does everyone have the same definitions? Just wondering....

    How do you define your own mindfulness? What sets you apart from other men/women?

    How would those who know you well, describe your mindfulness?
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  2. TopTop #2
    Star Man's Avatar
    Star Man
     

    Re: Your definition of a "Mindful Man" ? What about a "Mindful Woman"?

    Quote Shandi wrote: View Post
    Does everyone have the same definitions? Just wondering....

    How do you define your own mindfulness? What sets you apart from other men/women?

    How would those who know you well, describe your mindfulness?
    In his book "Refuge Recovery" Noah Levine writes: "Mindfulness is defined as nonjudgmental, investigative, and responsive awareness." I believe mindfulness includes awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, sensations, attitudes, and behaviors. It also includes awareness of one's own unconscious that can affect perceptions, meanings, emotions, and behavior. Furthermore, mindfulness includes awareness of others in all these dimensions as well.

    My own mindfulness includes self awareness including an awareness that I am a work in progress. I strive to repair my imperfections. I meditate and strive to be kind, to be peaceful, to be safe, and to accept myself as I am. I attempt to live an ethical and spiritual life. I attempt to optimize the gifts I have been given.

    I try not to compare myself to others, so I choose not to judge others which I'd have to do if I said what sets me apart from others. If you want to know how others would describe my mindfulness, you'll have to ask them.

    A skill that I am learning is forgiveness. I work to forgive myself and others. I try. Through mindfulness I am aware of when I am angry or sad or ashamed or resentful. These emotions arise from the old parts of my brain. They are generated by my unconscious. When I notice them, I forgive myself and then--neuropsychology demonstrates this--I have shifted emotion regulation to the highest center in my brain. I feel free. Mindfulness and mindful forgiveness are ongoing processes.

    Best, Star Man
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  4. TopTop #3
    AJL's Avatar
    AJL
     

    Re: Your definition of a "Mindful Man" ? What about a "Mindful Woman"?

    Would anyone like to carry on this conversation in person?
    Please reply privately and we can try to find an evening that works.

    Quote Star Man wrote: View Post
    In his book "Refuge Recovery" Noah Levine writes: "Mindfulness is defined as nonjudgmental, investigative, and responsive awareness." I believe mindfulness includes awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, sensations, attitudes, and behaviors. It also includes awareness of one's own unconscious that can affect perceptions, meanings, emotions, and behavior. Furthermore, mindfulness includes awareness of others in all these dimensions as well.

    My own mindfulness includes self awareness including an awareness that I am a work in progress. I strive to repair my imperfections. I meditate and strive to be kind, to be peaceful, to be safe, and to accept myself as I am. I attempt to live an ethical and spiritual life. I attempt to optimize the gifts I have been given.

    I try not to compare myself to others, so I choose not to judge others which I'd have to do if I said what sets me apart from others. If you want to know how others would describe my mindfulness, you'll have to ask them.

    A skill that I am learning is forgiveness. I work to forgive myself and others. I try. Through mindfulness I am aware of when I am angry or sad or ashamed or resentful. These emotions arise from the old parts of my brain. They are generated by my unconscious. When I notice them, I forgive myself and then--neuropsychology demonstrates this--I have shifted emotion regulation to the highest center in my brain. I feel free. Mindfulness and mindful forgiveness are ongoing processes.

    Best, Star Man
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  6. TopTop #4
    rossmen
     

    Re: Your definition of a "Mindful Man" ? What about a "Mindful Woman"?

    I like to think of myself as mindful, others have highly variable evaluations of my mindfulness. Perhaps my greatest flaw, one of my favorite chosen assumptions, is that we all are naturally mindful, ie know ourselves better than anyone else, and thus have uniquely considered wisdom to share. Unfortunatly this assumption seems to regularly get in the way of clear communication. For example when people try to tell me what i am feeling or thinking, and are not open to feedback from me, i get deeply offended, i feel justified in my anger and willing to express it. They usually do not experience this as me being mindful.
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  8. TopTop #5
    podfish's Avatar
    podfish
    Supporting Member

    Re: Your definition of a "Mindful Man" ? What about a "Mindful Woman"?

    Quote rossmen wrote: View Post
    I like to think of myself as mindful, others have highly variable evaluations of my mindfulness. Perhaps my greatest flaw, one of my favorite chosen assumptions, is that we all are naturally mindful, ie know ourselves better than anyone else,...
    I don't think that's the best definition of "mindful". I'll also dispute your postulate that "we all.. know ourselves better than anyone else". If true, it's only because it's a low bar -- admittedly, it's hard for someone to know anyone else all that well. But we're constantly confronted with examples that people in fact often don't know themselves all that well either. Well, people seem to know themselves well enough to lie to themselves effectively, I'll give you that!
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  10. TopTop #6
    rossmen
     

    Re: Your definition of a "Mindful Man" ? What about a "Mindful Woman"?

    As a chosen assumption/postulate evidence to the contrary is the most interesting. I have found that children, those who are well loved and closely raised anyway, know their parents better than the parents know themselves. As to lying to oneself, this definitely gets in the way of mindfulness and selfknowing. I feel very sad whenever I experience it in my self or others. I try to appreciate and explore the challenging message I might be doing it, seems to come most often from my kids. And my difficulty in taking it in helps me understand others resistance if I chose to share my observation that they might be doing it.

    Quote podfish wrote: View Post
    I don't think that's the best definition of "mindful". I'll also dispute your postulate that "we all.. know ourselves better than anyone else". If true, it's only because it's a low bar -- admittedly, it's hard for someone to know anyone else all that well. But we're constantly confronted with examples that people in fact often don't know themselves all that well either. Well, people seem to know themselves well enough to lie to themselves effectively, I'll give you that!
    Last edited by Barry; 10-08-2019 at 11:10 AM.
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  12. TopTop #7
    wisewomn's Avatar
    wisewomn
     

    Re: Your definition of a "Mindful Man" ? What about a "Mindful Woman"?

    Agreed, Rossmen. I've long maintained that our kids are born knowing where our buttons are, and they never hesitate to push them. They do so with unconditional love. They are great yoga and Master Teachers. I think it's called evolution.

    Quote rossmen wrote: View Post
    As a chosen assumption/postulate evidence to the contrary is the most interesting. I have found that children, those who are well loved and closely raised anyway, know their parents better than the parents know themselves. As to lying to oneself, this definitely gets in the way of mindfulness and selfknowing. I feel very sad whenever I experience it in my self or others. I try to appreciate and explore the challenging message I might be doing it, seems to come most often from my kids. And my difficulty in taking it in helps me understand others resistance if I chose to share my observation that they might be doing it.
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