Punography

[Sara S]

Punography:


I tried to catch some fog. I mist.


PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.


When chemists die, they barium.


Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.


Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.


Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.


A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.


Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.


I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.


I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.


How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.


I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.


How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!


This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.


What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.


I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.


When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.


I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.


What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.


They told me I had Type A blood, but it was a Type O.


I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!


Broken pencils are pointless.


And my favorite: A dyslexic man walks into a bra.