Regretfully Leaving Sonoma County

[smithers]

Hi Everyone,

I am from Sonoma County, Santa Rosa to be precise. I've spent most of my 51 years on Earth in this county and have been fighting not to leave, but have surrendered to the need.

I am a high-tech worker. Most of my experience and training is as an electronics technician, with some lab administration, electro-mechanical technician, and assembly. I also went back to school to become a Civil Engineering Tech, but that sector crashed before I'd even finished.

I've grown tired of struggling and just surviving. I've grown tired of taking the scraps some companies have offered and being disposed of so easily. I Googled jobs in my sector in the South Bay and found much more to offer.

Waiting until I've saved enough money to ease the move, to rent a place there, is a delaying tactic. Frankly, if I did that, I'd never move because it is that difficult to put together enough work to make it happen.

So, I'm moving. I have some money. I've been getting rid of stuff and gave notice to my landlord and roommate. I've reserved a moving van and a small storage unit down in Santa Clara. I changed my Google Voice number to a South Bay area code. I've paid for a PO Box in Santa Clara. The latter two so that I'll have local contact info and won't be knocked out of consideration for employment due to not being local.

I am moving Monday afternoon or Tuesday morning (6/29 or 30). I have no job lined up and no place to live lined up. I'm hoping to find space in a homeless shelter, but it doesn't look pretty and I am afraid. I do this knowing that if I stayed in Sonoma County I'd likely end up in a shelter anyway because of the way things have been going. I decided to take a chance and be homeless where I'm more likely to find work and get back on my feet.

This is difficult. I usually play it safe. This has lead to avoiding making choices and being lead around by the nose by circumstance. I place obstacles in my own way by waiting until I've done A to do B. When I can't accomplish A, B never happens. I'm skipping A.

I don't know where my final destination will be down there. I'm just trying to get to a location where I'll be local to jobs. Once I find work and put together rent, deposit, etc, I'll work out the rest.

If anyone has any words of encouragement or advice, I would be happy to receive them. If you know of resources and leads, that would be terrific as well, whether they be shelter, equivalents to Job Link, links to the cycling community in the South Bay, employment agencies, whatever. I've never done anything this risky or adventurous (foolish?) before.

I know this is a stretch, but if you know anyone that will let me surf on their couch, camp in their back yard, keep me out of the shelters, I would really appreciate it. I'd be happy to do chores. I'd stay out from underfoot because I'd stay away most of the day because I'd be looking for work or actually working.

Here's my Craig's List Ad:

https://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/sha/5093038328.html

Hoping you all the best of life and Sonoma County,
John

[kltkwmn~707]

try www.couchsurfing.com

[smithers]

Thank you to all those that have replied privately and publicly.

I will try Couch Surfing, but am leary of pushing my luck in terms of exceeding the mandate of the site. Still, someone once said, "It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission".

John

try www.couchsurfing.com

[John Milford Smithers]

I posted the following as a reply a response to my ad seeking a place to stay on a Shambhala forum. It's lengthy. I hope you feel it's worth reading:

I've been dealing with the shelter system for a little over a week now. "System" one word for it. It is somewhat of a hodge-podge and much of it seems set up to prolong your state of homelessness. There is a pamphlet that lists many of the services. It breaks down who the target population is, i.e., veterans, ex-cons, victims of domestic abuse, women with children, disabled, addicts, etc (I am none of those, though I do deal with depression and some ADD and PTSD), the times and days of some of the basic services, and the address and phone number.

Quite often, these services are scattered all over town. You bus, walk, and or bicycle to the service, stand in line, and find you've wasted time, money, and energy because you cannot avail yourself of the service until you've done an intake and/or orientation, which was not listed, and invariably takes place on a different time and day. You might think calling ahead would save you the trip, and sometimes it will. I called the Salvation Army to ask about their service. I got a recorded message saying no one was available to take the call and stating to leave a message. The voicemail box was full. No email provided. I tweeted them about the voicemail box. It did not help me in the short haul, and I don't know that most homeless would go to the trouble or have the ability, but I did it just so some other schmuck could get through.

I am focused on getting a job and becoming a renter. I have no desire to be one of the chronic homeless. I want to have a full, healthy, and happy life. I figure the faster I make this happen, the better, lest i get sucked into the quagmire. I am doing what I know I need to do; going to networking events, job fairs, employment agencies, looking online, submitting resumes, etc.

I ended up going to the Salvation Army to line up for a bed. I asked if I could go to a job networking event that evening from 5:30 to 7. They said that once I signed up for the bed, I could not leave or I'd lose the bed. I wasted time, etc, getting there to find that out. Time I could've used investigating other services, including services not tied to homelessness, but employment.

I called a shelter that I'd stayed at before to verify that they too would not take me in. You have to be there to line up, it's first-come/first-serve. Plus, as a Rescue Mission (ugh), you're required to attend a religious service and you cannot leave the premises lest you lose your bed.

Another service seems more interested in helping you transition to being employed and housed, but if accepted, you are not allowed to get a job for 30 days. I don't plan on being homeless longer than I can. If I got into that program and found my ideal job, I'd be put out before I even earned enough to rent a room for a day, let alone a month.

I understand they might want that 30 days to stabilize a newly clean and sober person, a recently released ex-con, etc, but that, again, is not me.

As for that networking meeting... I went to it. I did it knowing I was going to have to, for the first time in my life, try and find a place to sleep outside in a big city. I am dedicated to finding work. I'll take a not-ideal job while I'm working on finding the ideal, as long as I can make enough to rent a small room or do a share-rental.

I found what I thought was a covered and dry spot. Covered in the sense that people would not see me. Then the sprinklers came on. I ended up wet and cold and up all night and throughout the day. The clothes I was wearing got dryer through the day. Enough so that I could go to the job interview I had lined up in Los Altos.

I was lucky enough to have been contacted by someone from the Silicon Valley Shambhala Meditation Center who had seen my posts. We met in Los Altos before my interview. She held onto my stuff in her car while I interviewed. Afterwards, she treated me to lunch, we talked, and, because there was no way for me to make it to the shelter in time by bus, she gave me a ride.

I am and will avail myself of the homeless services, as well as employment, and other services to get on my feet ASAP. Some of these services are impediments as much as they are of assistance. If I cannot go to job-search related events, or an actual job, once I find one, because I will lose a bed (and possibly a meal) for having attended, they are blocking my path towards self-sufficiency, employment, and dignity.

I'm not asking someone to let me move in and invade their space indefinitely. I want a place to shower, a place keep much of what I'm carrying with me (clothes, shoes, toiletries, laptop), and a place to sleep. When not doing the arranged chores/tasks, I'd leave the house to do my job search. I'd leave early and return at the agreed time.

If the person lending me their space want's me to spend time with them, I'm amenable. This is a Shambhala forum. I want to be a part of the community, get to know people, practice, and be of service.

The stay can be one night, one week, whatever, though I plan to keep the whatever to as brief a span as possible. Also, it can be spread to different persons. It can be one night one place, another night some place else. For clarification, I am not nomadic by nature. I'm just working with what's in front of me.

It may not seem much better than being homeless, but knowing I can leave my stuff somewhere and have it be safe, feeling personally safe, not having to carry my life with me and have people undress me as a homeless person, being able to walk into an interview with clean clothes not wrinkled from being packed in a duffle/suitcase, makes a huge difference.

I've been posting what I've been going through on Facebook. I only share it with "Friended" people because I am not advertising my situation to potential employers. If at all interested, Friend me or email me and I'll Friend you. I would hope that as a member of the Shambhala community, I would have, in time, Friended some of you eventually.

If you email me, please indicate you are with Shambhala, in some fashion. I get a lot of email.

John Smithers
[email protected]
https://www.facebook.com/JohnMSmithers
707-494-5928
408-444-5061


P.S., If anyone from Wacco wants to Friend me they are welcome as well. Please indicate you are with Wacco.

[John Milford Smithers]

Yesterday, someone sent me a Facebook Friend Request, which I accepted. She quickly FB Messaged me the following and jumped off before seeing my response:

Hi John. I'm on Wacco-BB, following your adventure in Silicon Valley. I am rooting for you.


I know it's not much fun for you, but the work you are doing - being homeless and describing how the system doesn't work - is really valuable. I hope you find a dry place to sleep soon :)

I was happy to hear from her, to Friend her, but was concerned. First, I worry about somehow being seen as some kind of representative of how the system doesn't work. I am one person with a limited window on the system here. It is my perspective and experience. There is a lot I don't know, but then, the system is large scale and chaotic, I don't know how anyone can get a handle on it, let alone someone who is relying on it. Second, she, and others, are not current on what is happening. I want all of you out there who are trying to help me to do so with a complete picture. I don't want you to feel mislead. You should be able to make informed decisions. I feel like I owe it to you.

As I was going through the emotional decision of leaving Sonoma County, making it a reality, dealing with the shelter system, getting oriented, seeking out employment resources, learning the transit system, connecting with the Shambhala community, etc, I've been posting updates on Facebook. I've been sharing highs and lows. Almost all of the shares are only viewable to people with whom I am Friended. I am leery of exposure to potential employers. I know that anything posted on FB can eventually reach a wider audience, but I need community and you can only be so cautious when you are trying to connect with others. I also posted to a Shambhala web site, both Wacco's (the site and the Yahoo group), and eventually, a Go Fund Me campaign.

With all that I am dealing with, you can imagine that it might be a task to keep all these forums up-to-date. This is why I focus most of my updates on FB. If any of you feel I need to update this forum, please let me know.

So, the person I quoted above, as well as two people gifting me checks, instigated this update. I try to thank everyone who has helped me, whether it be monetarily, or well-wishing, suggestions, a ride, treating me to lunch, etc. As I wrote recently in a Thank You email to a contributor to my Go Fund Me campaign: "I think I need to go to Roget's and find more ways of saying 'thank you'. I've been saying it a lot lately."

I've received a few checks from people at my PO box. Two of them, I did not know. I didn't recognize their names or where they might have come across my story. I didn't know how to thank them. Go Fund Me provides a process. If they were FB Friends, it would be simple enough. I did post photos of the envelopes, checks, and enclosed notes, with all identifying information blurred out for their protection. I also know that some consider true charity to be anonymous. I posted the pictures to show my gratitude, but also to be open to those that are following my journey and are considering helping me. Again, it's about them making informed decisions.

Anyway, I realized that I had the addresses and one phone number of the two benefactors. I realized I could send a thank you via U.S. mail and I could call the one for whom I had a number. I called and left a voice mail with my name and number. I thanked her. She called me back and we talked. She told me that she and the other check-writer were friends and that they had followed my story on Wacco (I don't know which one). I asked her to thank her friend for me. I also updated her and told her about how all my updates were on FB.

I mentioned Go Fund Me: With the urging of some friends of mine, and some resistance on my part, I have created a Go Fund Me campaign. I decided that if my friends wanted to help me, I needed to get out of the way and give them a route to provide that help. You might find much of the story related there familiar. Much of it was posted here and other places.

I have made some connections with members of the Silicon Valley Shambhala Meditation Center. Some, it’s only been via phone and/or email (one of them hooked me up with a Starbucks card online) as a result of my emailing them through the contact link on their home page. One contacted me through my previous post here. I also rode a number of buses and some walking from San Jose to Mountain View to attend my first open house at the sangha. It was pretty wonderful. I made a connection with one member who gave me a ride to my PO box and treated me to lunch. We also exchanged contact information and hugs and he suggested he might be of further help. I expect this to be my home sangha and to join, so this was a nice start.

The fellow who gave me the ride did end up putting me up in his spare bedroom. It is temporary, but no conditions, time-line, constraints, boundaries, have been set. I'm taking it a day at a time. It's just good to be out of the shelter for now. It's nice to not have my efforts for the day cut short by the need to run to the shelter in the hope of getting a meal and a bed for the night. I'm not moved in. All my stuff that was in storage still is, with the exception of some clothing, my bicycle (how I missed her), and a few other items. I hope I'm a good guest.

As for the job search...

I've gone from a dearth of opportunities in Sonoma County to being a bit overwhelmed. I'm starting a temp job on Tuesday, 7/22. The first couple of weeks, it will be in Campbell. The rest of the assignment will be in San Leandro, a long commute, and it will last to the end of August, more or less. It will take time to put together enough from that job to become a renter and not dependent on shelters or someone's spare room.

I've also been on the phone with a representative of another company. This was for a position advertised on Craig's List that I responded to last week. We talked for a while and she wanted me to go in for an interview. This would be for a "permanent" position. Also, a much easier commute. I have agreed to interview on Monday.

I have other irons in the fire. I am continuing my efforts to build friendships, networks, community.

Thank you again for all the support. Even with the difficulties, this is one of the happiest times of my life. A lot of it has to do with having woken up and taken action and feeling powerful and grown up in a way I never have before. But a large part is also all the support, in every form, I've received from friends, old and brand-spanking new, and strangers.

If you’re not following what I’m doing on FB, you are missing something. Not just the problems with the shelters, but also all the stuff I am doing to find work and build my network. Frankly, I’ve grown up a lot recently. Also, lest I give the wrong impression and disappoint you, I do share when I am messy, clumsy, impatient, etc.

I’ve also been told I’m a good writer.

In gratitude,
John