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  1. TopTop #1
    theindependenteye's Avatar
    theindependenteye
     

    On Killing People

    From our friend the Fool:

    They killed a bunch of convicts in Missouri and Texas. They tried to get the right drugs to kill them with at the drugstore, but they were all out. So they had to experiment.

    The hard part is killing people nicely. Lots of the old ways, they flop around or look ugly. That makes people think we shouldn’t do it at all. You need to kill them but be nice about it.

    The point is to set an example. We have show the guy who’s about to kill his wife that it’s okay if he does it so it doesn’t hurt. And that he’s weighed the evidence and agrees with himself unanimously. And only if she deserves it.

    Seems like, if we have to do it, the best way would be, they get drunk all day. Then after supper a big huge splat of dope, and they’re gone, feeling great.

    But I guess dope is against the law.

    Or attach a big bomb to the guy. That’d be quick, and his head couldn’t tell how the rest of him felt — it’d be far away. But maybe the guys who had to clean up would have bad dreams.

    Or figure how to kill the guy accidentally. Like, give him a water pistol, banana, wallet, anything pointy, call 911, and let the cops take him out, without meaning to. Accidents happen. How could they know his banana wasn’t loaded?

    I don’t get it. Sometimes I want to call 911 and report my brain.

    --The Fool

    (channeled courtesy of Bishop & Fuller — visit www.DamnedFool.com for more of the same, and even worse.)
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  2. Gratitude expressed by 5 members:

  3. TopTop #2
    Valley Oak's Avatar
    Valley Oak
     

    Re: On Killing People

    Catchy subject line. I just couldn't resist reading your post. Then I felt compelled to give you gratitude because it is excellent.

    The death penalty needs to be abolished yesterday.



    Quote Posted in reply to the post by theindependenteye: View Post
    From our friend the Fool:

    They killed a bunch of convicts in Missouri and Texas. They tried to get the right drugs to kill them with at the drugstore, but they were all out. So they had to experiment.

    The hard part is killing people nicely. Lots of the old ways, they flop around or look ugly. That makes people think we shouldn’t do it at all. You need to kill them but be nice about it.

    The point is to set an example. We have show the guy who’s about to kill his wife that it’s okay if he does it so it doesn’t hurt. And that he’s weighed the evidence and agrees with himself unanimously. And only if she deserves it.

    Seems like, if we have to do it, the best way would be, they get drunk all day. Then after supper a big huge splat of dope, and they’re gone, feeling great.

    But I guess dope is against the law.

    Or attach a big bomb to the guy. That’d be quick, and his head couldn’t tell how the rest of him felt — it’d be far away. But maybe the guys who had to clean up would have bad dreams.

    Or figure how to kill the guy accidentally. Like, give him a water pistol, banana, wallet, anything pointy, call 911, and let the cops take him out, without meaning to. Accidents happen. How could they know his banana wasn’t loaded?

    I don’t get it. Sometimes I want to call 911 and report my brain.

    --The Fool

    (channeled courtesy of Bishop & Fuller — visit www.DamnedFool.com for more of the same, and even worse.)
    | Login or Register (free) to reply publicly or privately   Email

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