From:
Date: Thu, 24 Dec 2009 13:06:26 -0500
Subject: Sludge Watch ==> I'm Dreaming of a Green Christmas



"I'm Dreaming of a Green Christmas"

with apologies to MC Lars



'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Global Warming had wiped out the endangered field mouse
The stockings were hung by the big solar panels
While Timmy was watching the Planet Green Channel
It told him the ice Burgs were melting away

And Frosty was having a very bad day
The North Pole was boiling and Santa was blue
The elves now made toys with reindeer hoof glue

On the AstroTurf arose such a clatter
I sprang from the futon to see what was the matter.
When, what to my curious eyes should appear,
But Santa in a Prius pulled by flying reindeer,
"Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! It's time to conserve!
On, Comet! On Cupid! We've got to preserve!
>From the triple pained windows to the top of the wall!
Sustainable, sustainable, sustainable, y'all!"


CHORUS
I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas
One day there could be no more snow
I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas
Self-sustaining as my gift list grows
I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas
Not Santa surfing at the North Pole
I'm dreaming of a green green Christmas
In a biodiesel sleigh to Grandma's house we go!
And then Santa came into my house, and he's like "I'm coming through the front door."
And I'm like "why?", and he's like, "you don't have a chimney." I said, "Burning carbon is bad."


Santa was dressed in organic cotton from his head to his feet
His red jacket was recycled, his Birkenstocks were sweet
A bundle of toys he had slung on his back in a Nob Hill recycled tote bag sack

The ozone was depleting and the climate change was scary
But Santa's eyes were focused on still making Christmas merry
He brought me some rocks and a solar powered Wii

What was once a white beard was now a goatee
He rocked Aviators and a little round belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl of soy jelly
He spoke not a word, but flashed me a smirk
He said, "I'm mad green", and went straight to work

While Rudolph recharged his solar-powered nose
He used recycled wrapping paper that's how conservation goes
But I heard Santa exclaim as he drove out of sight,
"A Green Christmas to all and to all a good night!"


REPEAT CHORUS



On the twelfth day of Christmas :

Twelve solar fans
Eleven Britta filters
Ten red Sigg bottles
Nine bins for recycling
Eight compact light bulbs
Seven striped hemp beanies
Six recycled ornaments

Five million sludge-free farms

Four bamboo bookshelves
Three million soybeans
Two composting toilets
And "An Inconvenient Truth" DVD