How to Turn a Woman On

[Sylph]

From a blog I found. Very good advice:

1. Be involved with your kids. Play with them, talk with them, love them extravagantly.
2. Pick one. Load the dishwasher. Pick up dirty clothes from the living room floor. Sweep the kitchen. Take out the trash. For a woman to see her man caring about the house, the message is loud and clear, "I care about where we live. I care about you.".
3. Hug her often. Wrap your arms around her. Squeeze. Walk away.
4. Read to her. Trust me.
5. Every three months, write her a love letter. Okay, don’t freak out here guys. I am going to help you. This is how you do it:
Dear _____,
I just want you to know that I think you are a great mom. I see all the things you do to take care of our family and I want to thank you. It’s hard for me to always show it, but I appreciate all you do.
Your husband
6. Once a year, for your anniversary, write an "I would pick you all over again" letter. Still with me? Good. Here goes:
Dear _____,
I will never forget the way you looked when_____. You are even more beautiful now. I am the luckiest guy in the whole world. I would choose you all over again. These last ___ years have been awesome. Thanks for sharing them with me.
A love letter is the female Viagra. Try it!
7. Look her in the eyes when you are talking to her. It really doesn’t matter what you say. It’s all about how it is said.

Ok, I am out of wisdom here. Anyone want to share? (Remember to keep it PG)"

Any of these would drive me wild!!!

https://freetolive.wordpress.com/200...rn-a-woman-on/

[MsTerry]

Uhm, Sylph
You are portraying men as inept, illiterate and insensitive.

From a blog I found. Very good advice:

1. Be involved with your kids. Play with them, talk with them, love them extravagantly.
2. Pick one. Load the dishwasher. Pick up dirty clothes from the living room floor. Sweep the kitchen. Take out the trash. For a woman to see her man caring about the house, the message is loud and clear, "I care about where we live. I care about you.".
3. Hug her often. Wrap your arms around her. Squeeze. Walk away.
4. Read to her. Trust me.
5. Every three months, write her a love letter. Okay, don’t freak out here guys. I am going to help you. This is how you do it:
Dear _____,
I just want you to know that I think you are a great mom. I see all the things you do to take care of our family and I want to thank you. It’s hard for me to always show it, but I appreciate all you do.
Your husband
6. Once a year, for your anniversary, write an "I would pick you all over again" letter. Still with me? Good. Here goes:
Dear _____,
I will never forget the way you looked when_____. You are even more beautiful now. I am the luckiest guy in the whole world. I would choose you all over again. These last ___ years have been awesome. Thanks for sharing them with me.
A love letter is the female Viagra. Try it!
7. Look her in the eyes when you are talking to her. It really doesn’t matter what you say. It’s all about how it is said.

Ok, I am out of wisdom here. Anyone want to share? (Remember to keep it PG)"

Any of these would drive me wild!!!

https://freetolive.wordpress.com/200...rn-a-woman-on/

[Barry]

Uhm, Sylph
You are portraying men as inept, illiterate and insensitive.

And you are trying to provoke another debate.

Instead of debating and continuing the silly gender wars, how about contributing your suggestions about "How to Turn a Woman On"? Anybody?

And I hope is just a matter of time before someone starts the "How to Turn a Man On" thread. I'll be reading both with great interest!

Oh, and contrary to the quoted blog post above, I'm fine with tasteful/respectful R-rated posts here in Conscious Relationship! And most anything is welcome in our Censored & Un-Censored category, though again respectful posts are most appreciated.

[shellebelle]

I have a beautiful picture (I just shared it last night in fact) where my lover is looking at me with genuine pure love that is amazing and wondrous. When people see it they often agree he fell in love right there; I was blessed that someone captured it.

To see that same look in pictures, when I turn around, often; from now until the end; I would feel blessed, desired, loved, appreciated and honored to say the least. Oh and I plan to be lost in his arms for "eternity" since anyone who can convey those feelings will wrap me in them just as generously.

[Sylph]

I think Ms. Terry is trying to start something! I forgive her!

Even though the suggestions are a bit mundane, I can imagine the warmth I would feel if my partner practiced them more often. He does occasionally write a heart-felt card and it's wonderful. I love that he has food and a glass of wine ready for me when I come home from work. If he would just wash a dish or two....that would put me over the top!

Male or female, we want to really be appreciated and a letter about everything you love about your partner is a great idea.

I too, would enjoy more suggestions and a thread for 'How to turn a man on'

G or R rated is fine!

[calart]

Hi it's amazing what i just read,he has dinner ready with a glass of wine why can;t he wash the dishes,sounds like my x wife i would do the shopping and cook the meals often she would expect me to wash and put things away and what did i get you put too much pepper and at bet time lets wait till tomorrow morning im tired bought her flowers they stayed on the coffee table till they were dead,then i read how to turn on a woman, sounds like a one way street turn on a woman and you get sex, well the way i look at it, LOVE is a two way road if you are really in love you don't have to go to extremes,everything should come naturally it all boils down to men LOVE your wife and woman LOVE your husband COMMUNICATE

[MsTerry]

I think Ms. Terry is trying to start something!

You know telling a man when to write a letter to you and writing it for him so that he only has to fill in the blanks is degrading, demeaning and condescending in my eyes.
I tell my son to express with his heart, one line is better than none.

[Sylph]

Hi it's amazing what i just read,he has dinner ready with a glass of wine why can;t he wash the dishes,sounds like my x wife i would do the shopping and cook the meals often she would expect me to wash and put things away and what did i get you put too much pepper and at bet time lets wait till tomorrow morning im tired bought her flowers they stayed on the coffee table till they were dead,then i read how to turn on a woman, sounds like a one way street turn on a woman and you get sex, well the way i look at it, LOVE is a two way road if you are really in love you don't have to go to extremes,everything should come naturally it all boils down to men LOVE your wife and woman LOVE your husband COMMUNICATE

Sounds like you think I don't appreciate him for what he does or that he can't do enough to please me...not true! I tell him and show him that I love his gestures.
Love is a two way street and when it's new we are naturally more expressive and giving. Later on, we may fall into patterns where we have other priorities and neglect the relationship, putting in on the back burner.
The thing is sometimes we get out of the habit of communicating our love or doing nice little things for the other person.
I liked the one about a big, warm hug. So easy to do and so powerful.
Sounds like you did an awful lot without enough gratitude or love in return and that's a shame.

[Sylph]

You know telling a man when to write a letter to you and writing it for him so that he only has to fill in the blanks is degrading, demeaning and condescending in my eyes.
I tell my son to express with his heart, one line is better than none.

No, that was just a suggestion to any men reading the list. The blog writer wasn't suggesting that you 'write it for him so he only has to fill out the blanks! That would not be very heart-warming to the recipient! It was a model to use to get someone started. I could use her suggestions to write a letter to my husband or even to my mom. The writer is not assuming men can't write, only that sometimes we need an example.

Your son will develop good writing skills as he matures, with your encouragement. Writing is a dying art, so I applaud your efforts.

[nicofrog]

I agree;
I am male, and my partner likes these things, Turn on is a funny phrase, everyone, male or female is different that way, still I appreciate the posting, because it is SO easy to forget how wonderful where we are is when we are there, I saw my dad grieving his hundreds of arguments with my mom when she was gone....
He could have used this posting while she was alive
it was "there's not enough salt on this broccoli" or whatever for 60 years
and the resentment held back can burn inside.
so go girls! Thanks Nico

From a blog I found. Very good advice:



Any of these would drive me wild!!!

https://freetolive.wordpress.com/200...rn-a-woman-on/

[wattguitar]

now, I'm just going on what I've heard...

very light touch. light stroking of the skin. for as long as she can stand it.

that's the physical one.

otherwise...
ask what she feels. let her talk about her. let her get relaxed enough to tell you a secret. or a dream.

[Tinque]

Every woman, as well as men, are different. We all have different triggers. They may change even daily , weekly , monthly or yearly..They can even change in a moment. The whole key , in my opinion , would be communication and complete trust. It took me until I was 40 something to let myself be O.K. with being pleasured , instead of always pleasuring. I never felt like I was missing out and I surely to this day get off on pleasuring my partner , yet it has been a new delightful world of letting myself go and enjoying the pleasure one receives and with NO guilt..It has taken alot of dealing with all the insecurities that are upon alot of us from the expectations of what we are "supposed " to look like. I for one struggled with this for years, and in a very unhealthy manner , much to my regret and dismay. But I am enjoying the fact that I have "somewhat" overcome my insecurities and am allowing myself to relax and really enjoy, feel and be loved.. And there you have it !

[Tinque]

I would love to give my opinion on "How to turn a man on".. It would be very X-rated , honest and not particually exactly "what every man " would want, yet my lovers have only expressed their complete bliss and satisfaction. This , by no means is being stuck-up or full of myself , I just have been blessed with alot of sensuality , lust , desire and sensitivity. It is all passionate to me..

[mykil]

If you really wanna turn a woman on, just send her to me and I will ship her home in a blissfilly bliss box and she shall jsut devour her mate...

[Sylph]

[QUOTE]

I would love to give my opinion on "How to turn a man on".. It would be very X-rated , honest and not particually exactly "what every man " would want, yet my lovers have only expressed their complete bliss and satisfaction. This , by no means is being stuck-up or full of myself , I just have been blessed with alot of sensuality , lust , desire and sensitivity. It is all passionate to me..

By all means, start the "How to turn a man on" thread. I'm waiting expectantly!

[MsTerry]

Name ONE!!!

If you really wanna turn a woman on, just send her to me and I will ship her home in a blissfilly bliss box and she shall jsut devour her mate...

[mykil]

I am not talking to anyone that doesn't like a good poem!!! NO PRUDES PLEASE!!!!!

[MsTerry]

I am not talking to anyone that doesn't like a good poem!!!

Why don't you publish it here, big boy..........................

[Jason 17]

From a blog I found. Very good advice:



Any of these would drive me wild!!!

How to Turn a Woman On « Amanda Sanders Blog

What turns a woman on(as well as a man) is listening to what she says,give it credence, respond with truth and the appreciation of sharing time on this planet together.

[meherc]

When I was reading this, I kept thinking yeah, right ,like that;s ever going to happen. I don't really care about the cleaning part, I would substitute sex for doing the dishes. Still, yeah, sure, like that's ever going to happen. And it made me so sad. I want one of those, one of those cherishing kind of men. But I'm afraid I've given up.

I think I'm a wonderful, funny, beautiful, loving , giving, intense woman but men seem to want bitches and are just waiting to see you do something that their ex-wife of 30 years ago did so they can hang on to the bitterness. God forbid, you say I love you. They run screaming from the hint of any intimacy or commitment. Yes, I am very sad about that. I think everyone should be in love. Wasn't that an Arthur Lee song?

From a blog I found. Very good advice:

Any of these would drive me wild!!!

https://freetolive.wordpress.com/200...rn-a-woman-on/

[Shandi]

From my perspective, if we believe that we won't ever get what we want, it's probably true. And if we give up, we wouldn't really be available to that love, even if it was right under our nose. And to top it off, to believe that men, or women for that matter, really want "bitches", that means in order to be "wanted" you have to be a bitch, whatever that means to you. If you're wonderful, funny, beautiful, loving and giving, that really means, in your mind, that you are "UNWANTED". Your beliefs are absolutely true.....for you. This is simple logic. Dixon, are you here?

In your lifetime of relationships, you've never been with a mate who matches what you bring, I have to ask how this happened? But the answer is for you, not anyone else. Because you are the one without the love you used to believe in.
Look INSIDE, not outside. Are you truly who you see yourself to be? Do you have some blind spots, maybe? Do you have a trusted woman friend who can be honest with you? Are you willing to ask for that?

I've recently completed a short term relationship (10 months) with a homeless man I took in. We weren't intimate, and I didn't expect him to be living with me for so long. In the first couple of months, he fixed some things (he's a carpenter). But as weeks went on, he did very little, and began to criticize lots of things about me, including calling me an "emotional castrater", unconscious, and various other demeaning things. He said he was my "spiritual teacher". I'd never had one of those, so I thought it might be beneficial. But, the incongruencey was a huge RED FLAG! Would a spiritual teacher be so unkind, so unthoughtful, so ungiving, so lazy, so arrogant? He said he had "integrity", yet nothing in his behavior supported this. Beware of anyone who tells you to "trust them".

(I saw a woman on Ted.com who's writting a book, called "Lie Spotter", using neuro-linguistic tools for spotting liars. I've ordered it, because I really need it!)

I was supporting him, and providing everything he needed, prepared meals, laundry, internet/TV, phone, transportation , and referrals to work. He never called any of the work references, and never tried to find a job. He spent hours on FACEBOOK, and considers himself a writer. I realized after a short time, that I'd been duped. My landlord finally helped me to get him out, with an eviction notice.

I had spiraled into depression, once again, as the result of a faulty mechanism in myself, which always looks for the good in people.....because I BELIEVE it's there! I still do, but it may be buried under layers and layers of dysfunction that I will never be able to uncover. And both men and women who are in survival mode, will say whatever they need to get what they want. Survival is our nature.

I've found during my lifetime that when I've given to someone in this mode, it can be very difficult to extricate myself. This recent situation was a case in point. So, instead of being angry at him, or myself, I need to look deeply at my behavior.
What is it that motivates me to help? It would be much easier to donate to specific causes than to give directly, and be subjected to what comes naturally for the person in need.

Anyway, I've gotten off the subject at hand, so I'll share my response to the first post about my thoughts on "How to Turn a Woman" on.

When I was reading this, I kept thinking yeah, right ,like that;s ever going to happen. I don't really care about the cleaning part, I would substitute sex for doing the dishes. Still, yeah, sure, like that's ever going to happen. And it made me so sad. I want one of those, one of those cherishing kind of men. But I'm afraid I've given up.

I think I'm a wonderful, funny, beautiful, loving , giving, intense woman but men seem to want bitches and are just waiting to see you do something that their ex-wife of 30 years ago did so they can hang on to the bitterness. God forbid, you say I love you. They run screaming from the hint of any intimacy or commitment. Yes, I am very sad about that. I think everyone should be in love. Wasn't that an Arthur Lee song?

[Shandi]

Thank you for sharing this. Most of these things would be very appreciated by many women (and even some men!)

I think our brain sparks our being turned on. I get turned on to many things, but it may not be in the same context that you mean it. Turned on to me means excited, stimulated, moved to appreciate or to create. But the basis for me to be turned on is that someone or some thing (an animal, flower, nature, etc.) has communicated with me through words, actions, eye contact, beauty, or simply just being. So, there's been a resonance between this and me. With human beings, this can happen with a look, a touch, an act of kindness, gratitude, a gift of time, an acknowledgement, and seeing me for who I am. These contain the "essence" of how our feelings are expressed. They can take endless forms, some of which are listed in the post.

I'll share a story of something I learned about love when I was 20, and had been married to my childhood friend for about a year. My best friend had also been married for nearly the same amount of time. She was having some difficulty with her new Italian husband. He was upset because she wasn't a cook. She had never learned because her Italian mother had done all the cooking. He told her that he didn't "feel loved" because of this. His Italian mother had also always cooked for him. My friend had no interest in cooking, so this created stress in the relationship. She was a good, kind, and loving person in many other ways. After a couple of kids came along, the stress increased, and eventually they divorced. I bet he made sure that whoever he was considering a relationship with after that, loved to cook, because having food prepared for him meant that he felt loved. She, on the other hand, may have opted for a mate would could cook!

My husband was also Italian. I had been cooking since I was a child....but not Italian food! One day early on, he dropped me off at his mom's house, so she could teach me how to make sauce, which was an all day affair, and the basis for so many of their dishes that he'd grown up with. I loved his mom, and enjoyed learning. I wanted to please him, and I made sauce every week for the next 18 years! He never cooked, but once in awhile, he stirred the sauce!

He was a kind, loving, and sensitive man. At the time, we were both Catholic, and after a few years went by, we enrolled in a workshop called Marriage Encounter. It was a weekend of excercises done mostly by writing to each other in our notebooks and then exchanging them. Writing had always come easy for me, but not so much for him. But I really appreciated his effort in sharing his deepest feelings, wants, and needs. We were able to say things that otherwise wouldn't have been possible. His notebook was a huge turn on for me. But of course his everyday behavior was congruent in showing how much he loved me.

As the years went on, he began to make more money, and his friends urged him to buy me expensive gifts, since that's what many of their wives wanted. I told him that what I really wanted, was more time with him, rather than expensive gifts.
He bean to work more hours, for "us". I told him that this was not for "us" because unless he was around, there wasn't much time for "us".

To conclude this, I want to rememember that we're all turned on by different "forms", but what's important is the "essence" beneath the forms. If you really want to be sure of what turns your partner on, male or female, you could ask, or you could do a simple excercie of writing what turns you on, and share it with your mate. You might want to start by asking yourself what turns you on. If you don't have a partner, put this list in a safe place so you can find it, when that person comes along.

You could have a special list of "sexual, sensual" turn ons, and another list for all the others. If you've lived for any length of time, you must know that people have different preferences for nearly everything. One person's pleasure is another person's pain. It's really up to us to find out what they are.

With Valentine's day coming up,
it's a perfect time to discover
what lies in the heart of your lover.

From a blog I found. Very good advice:



Any of these would drive me wild!!!

https://freetolive.wordpress.com/200...rn-a-woman-on/