Treated gruffly at the Sebastopol Area Senior Center

[Larysa]

Greetings!

This afternoon (Tuesday, August 03, 2010) at about 4 PM, I stopped into the Sebastopol Area Senior Center in order to drop off a few booklets from the local hospice and extra copies of booklets on protecting yourself from financial fraud. I thought these would be helpful and informative to others as they had been for me.

Without looking up from his ipod-looking gadget, the man at the desk greeted me with a loud and gruff, “What can we help you with?” This made me feel like I was intruding on him. I approached him and showed him the booklets I wanted to donate to the center. He took them from me, tossed them to the side of his computer and still playing with his gadget said in an annoyed tone: “Is there anything else?”

No, I said. Unfortunately, there was no one else in the area at that time.

Feeling very unwelcome, I quietly left. By the time I reached my car, I was angry. This was the Sebastopol Area Senior Center! No one deserves to be treated like that! If I don't say something, he'll probably treat someone else poorly also. So I returned to collect the booklets and find out who this hostile person was.

I politely asked for the booklets back and this man became even louder and more hostile: “Here take them!” he barked, still not bothering to even look at me! I told him that I did not appreciate his nasty tone of voice nor his arrogance.

As I was leaving, I spotted Ms. Gloria Kelly – the Office Manager – way down the hallway and asked her if she knew who that man was, because I was upset as to how I had just been treated.

Ms. Gloria Kelly informed me that he was Terry Kelley – the Executive Director!

I was shocked that the Executive Director of the Sebastopol Area Senior Center would be so nasty to a woman walking in.

I am not sure whom to contact, so if anyone can assist me - I would greatly appreciate it. I would like Terry Kelley to sincerely apologize to me for his inappropriate behavior, otherwise it is probably best that he be unemployed.

Sincerely,
Larysa

[Weiser]

How old is this guy? Was his hearing aid working properly?

I've been working at the SonomaCounty Fair all week and your experience pales with the @#$%^&* I've put up with from some people, and the fair is only at the half way point.

Relax. He could have been having a bad day and doesn't need to be fired.

Mark

[erimbaugh]

Sorry that your generosity and purity of intent,
your good heart, met with such a lack thereof.
Sorry that the person who dis-greeted you was
not able to match-- to emulate and return-- the
virtue you brought literally to the table. Sounds like
this should be a major wake-up call for the center
and in particular for the executive director that In
an era of technological overdrive and overwhelm
it is maybe more important than ever to consciously
ensure that the strength of our humanity is not
irrevocably suffocated by gadgetry.
ed rimbaugh

Greetings!

This afternoon (Tuesday, August 03, 2010) at about 4 PM, I stopped into the Sebastopol Area Senior Center in order to drop off a few booklets from the local hospice and extra copies of booklets on protecting yourself from financial fraud. I thought these would be helpful and informative to others as they had been for me.

Without looking up from his ipod-looking gadget, the man at the desk greeted me with a loud and gruff, “What can we help you with?” This made me feel like I was intruding on him. I approached him and showed him the booklets I wanted to donate to the center. He took them from me, tossed them to the side of his computer and still playing with his gadget said in an annoyed tone: “Is there anything else?”

No, I said. Unfortunately, there was no one else in the area at that time.

Feeling very unwelcome, I quietly left. By the time I reached my car, I was angry. This was the Sebastopol Area Senior Center! No one deserves to be treated like that! If I don't say something, he'll probably treat someone else poorly also. So I returned to collect the booklets and find out who this hostile person was.

I politely asked for the booklets back and this man became even louder and more hostile: “Here take them!” he barked, still not bothering to even look at me! I told him that I did not appreciate his nasty tone of voice nor his arrogance.

As I was leaving, I spotted Ms. Gloria Kelly – the Office Manager – way down the hallway and asked her if she knew who that man was, because I was upset as to how I had just been treated.

Ms. Gloria Kelly informed me that he was Terry Kelley – the Executive Director!

I was shocked that the Executive Director of the Sebastopol Area Senior Center would be so nasty to a woman walking in.

I am not sure whom to contact, so if anyone can assist me - I would greatly appreciate it. I would like Terry Kelley to sincerely apologize to me for his inappropriate behavior, otherwise it is probably best that he be unemployed.

Sincerely,
Larysa

[tommy]

Larysa,
I felt terrible reading your story. My heart goes out to you for your generosity. As well, I wonder:

What a thankless job, to be ED of a Senior Center. How could they ever find someone to take this job? Why was the ED on the front desk? Is there anything you could have done, to create more communication, perhaps by asking him how his day was going, telling him you were feeling badly and unappreciated, and wondered what was going on with him?

Thank you for your kindness and thougfullness to the seniors in our community.

Tomas

Greetings!

This afternoon (Tuesday, August 03, 2010) at about 4 PM, I stopped into the Sebastopol Area Senior Center in order to drop off a few booklets from the local hospice and extra copies of booklets on protecting yourself from financial fraud. I thought these would be helpful and informative to others as they had been for me.

Without looking up from his ipod-looking gadget, the man at the desk greeted me with a loud and gruff, “What can we help you with?” This made me feel like I was intruding on him. I approached him and showed him the booklets I wanted to donate to the center. He took them from me, tossed them to the side of his computer and still playing with his gadget said in an annoyed tone: “Is there anything else?”

No, I said. Unfortunately, there was no one else in the area at that time.

Feeling very unwelcome, I quietly left. By the time I reached my car, I was angry. This was the Sebastopol Area Senior Center! No one deserves to be treated like that! If I don't say something, he'll probably treat someone else poorly also. So I returned to collect the booklets and find out who this hostile person was.

I politely asked for the booklets back and this man became even louder and more hostile: “Here take them!” he barked, still not bothering to even look at me! I told him that I did not appreciate his nasty tone of voice nor his arrogance.

As I was leaving, I spotted Ms. Gloria Kelly – the Office Manager – way down the hallway and asked her if she knew who that man was, because I was upset as to how I had just been treated.

Ms. Gloria Kelly informed me that he was Terry Kelley – the Executive Director!

I was shocked that the Executive Director of the Sebastopol Area Senior Center would be so nasty to a woman walking in.

I am not sure whom to contact, so if anyone can assist me - I would greatly appreciate it. I would like Terry Kelley to sincerely apologize to me for his inappropriate behavior, otherwise it is probably best that he be unemployed.

Sincerely,
Larysa

[scamperwillow]

Remember, there are two sides to every story.......

[Imagery]

Remember, there are two sides to every story.......

ROFL - and you think this person would actually bother to come out and give HIS side of things? Please, don't think that he's going to bother taking the time - if he's that RUDE to people walking in, then his side of the story will consist solely of making up excuses like, umm, well see...I was looking over the budget numbers, and trying to figure out who's getting axed to keep my six-figure salary intact...and I couldn't be bothered by someone donating such an insignificant thing to us...

Never taking responsibility for his attitude. He's probably just learning his leadership skills from corporate America.

[Alfonz]

Apparently you have quite an imagination regarding Terry Kelly the E.D.
Briefly put, he "donates" twice as much time to multiple community and non profit organizations than 95% of the West County population. Maybe he was having a bad day, who knows. Have you never been rude to someone? Passing judgement without knowledge isn't always the best path.

ROFL - and you think this person would actually bother to come out and give HIS side of things? Please, don't think that he's going to bother taking the time - if he's that RUDE to people walking in, then his side of the story will consist solely of making up excuses like, umm, well see...I was looking over the budget numbers, and trying to figure out who's getting axed to keep my six-figure salary intact...and I couldn't be bothered by someone donating such an insignificant thing to us...

Never taking responsibility for his attitude. He's probably just learning his leadership skills from corporate America.

[Imagery]

Apparently you have quite an imagination regarding Terry Kelly the E.D.
Briefly put, he "donates" twice as much time to multiple community and non profit organizations than 95% of the West County population. Maybe he was having a bad day, who knows. Have you never been rude to someone? Passing judgement without knowledge isn't always the best path.

Imagination? Perhaps, but based on the fact that this thread has been here for a week, and there's no "other side of the story" forthcoming, it would be safe to state that he's probably not aware (interesting considering the number of people here who "know" him, that one hasn't mentioned it to him), or he doesn't believe that this person is deserving of a reply or explanation. You seem to know him well enough to post up statistics about him - and hypothesize about his explanation (as I did) - perhaps you might enlighten him about this thread?

[Larysa]

Greetings!
As I walked in I was greeted gruffly. Yet I smiled, genuinely complimented his shirt then showed him the booklets, etc. My concern was this happened at a senior center. I am sure that in this economic depression, there are lots of folks highly qualified to be in that position plus be happy to be there.
Take good care! :)
Larysa

Larysa,
I felt terrible reading your story. My heart goes out to you for your generosity. As well, I wonder:

What a thankless job, to be ED of a Senior Center. How could they ever find someone to take this job? Why was the ED on the front desk? Is there anything you could have done, to create more communication, perhaps by asking him how his day was going, telling him you were feeling badly and unappreciated, and wondered what was going on with him?

Thank you for your kindness and thougfullness to the seniors in our community.

Tomas

[Geni Houston]

Greetings!
As I walked in I was greeted gruffly. Yet I smiled, genuinely complimented his shirt then showed him the booklets, etc. My concern was this happened at a senior center. I am sure that in this economic depression, there are lots of folks highly qualified to be in that position plus be happy to be there.
Take good care! :)
Larysa

Really, Larysa? You met this gentleman one time and you think someone else would be more qualified? Really Imagery? You were not even there and you are insinuating that he is required to respond?

Once again, my post is not about the incident, but what you are doing with it. I can't judge on the original post because I was not there - but seems common do to so. I do know Mr. Kelly and while I don't know what happened with the original poster, because, well, I WAS NOT THERE, I am familiar with not only his work at the Senior Center but countless other hours of volunteer work and I seriously doubt that the Senior Center offers 6 figure salary.

I love WACCOBB for the notices, events, Larry's poems, where I can buy what I need and sell what I dont. And certainly opinions are welcome, but one incident posted be allowed to jepordize a persons career or integrity. Can't you see how wrong this is?

["Mad" Miles]

Geni,

Well put! You've expressed my view as well.

The "mob with pitchforks and torches" potential of this medium, must be guarded against.

Anyone can say anything, and gin up a mob, solely on rumor and hearsay. I thought our society had figured out how to avoid that. I hope I'm right!

[Imagery]

Really Imagery? You were not even there and you are insinuating that he is required to respond?

I think for something like the original post to go unanswered is a disservice to the Senior Center. I view it (on a MUCH SMALLER SCALE) similar to Apple with their iPhone4 reception "issue". Apple didn't answer immediately, then when they did answer, it was telling the clients that THEY were doing something wrong. That simply allowed the issue to fester, until Apple came out and provided free "bumpers" for the product that solved the problem. If you'll notice, the news died down immediately, and life goes on for Apple.

In this case, you have someone who feels she was mis-treated by the E.D. of the Sebastopol Senior Center. If someone, perhaps looking to donate to this organization, looked at this thread from no prior knowledge or experience of the Senior Center, this is the one-sided view they'd receive. Perhaps, with that in mind, they'd donate elsewhere.

I see several people in here who vouch for this person, his generous donation of time to all causes great and small, people who can give us statistics about his volunteer service, but what I don't see is someone (him) coming in and giving us (as Paul Harvey would say...) the rest of the story.

That implies that he's not concerned enough to post a response. From reading the testimony of those who defend him, I'm certain that someone would have told him about this thread...

...and then the subject would be dropped and the world would go on. Obviously, without his response, this thread seems to be kept alive (nearly two weeks now) by those who would defend this person, but not let him know that his name is being linked to his "actions".

["Mad" Miles]

Imagery,

Assuming someone has told him, is a pretty big assumption.

Perhaps his defenders think the matter is of no great importance? That he's a busy man with better things to do than respond to what they perceive as slander? Slander that would only snowball if he weighed in? "She said, He said."

As for the thread being "kept alive for two weeks", that's an exaggeration. This site was down for a week, traffic is only picking up in the last two or three days.

In spite of spending significant time here daily, I recognize that this isn't the real world, it isn't the whole world, and even with ten thousand subscribers, most people use this site for shopping and selling, or getting out their own information.

waccobb isn't the village square, yet. There's a village square of waccobblandia, but that's all. Based on my recent immersion in Faced Book, there are a lot more people, locally and beyond, who do their social networking there, not here. (Sorry Barry, but that's the truth! Bring on the interface!!)

Placing ones internal expectations for social behavior, onto others and expecting them to do what you would do in their place, is a sign of emotional immaturity. I learned that in college, if not in High School.

The only way you could rightfully claim that the dude is ducking the issue, is if you brought it to his attention yourself, strongly urged him to weigh in here, and he ignored you, and the issue. Without having done that, or having sure, direct knowledge that someone else has, you're just blowing smoke, and talking out of your ...!

I only know you from this board. Your intentions appear pure. You clearly want to do good, he helpful and defend the defenseless. So do I and I feel an affinity for you on that basis. But this isn't the first time you've raised the hue and cry, to get those guys!!! I'd watch that if I were you. It doesn't come off well in the court of public opinion.

It's one thing to raise the hue and cry against public figures, on a regional, national or international scale. It's another thing to call out the dogs on a local person, who you don't know, who you haven't talked to, and who you haven't seen do whatever someone else is accusing them of doing.

If history is any basis to think about this, the Senior Center guy will eventually hear about this discussion, and join in. But my vague memory is that takes time. The restaurant owners next to Sushi Tozai (can't recall the name) took several weeks before being clued in and responding. The Graton Fire Chief didn't join the siren debate for at least a week or two. Etc.

And no one is obligated to participate or respond here! They may have their reasons for avoiding this forum, that neither you or I have any clue about.

If waccobb becomes the place where people are accused, arraigned, tried and convicted, in absentia, without the opportunity to question their accusers, or present their defense to the judge and jury, I can see plenty of reasons why they would want to stay the hell away and shun this site, this medium and this "community" entirely.

Of course, Barry won't let that happen. And neither will I and others.

Rush to Judgment

The conspiracists say it covered up who was responsible for the assassination of JFK. Let's not do it here to a local hero as well!!!

[scamperwillow]

Frankly, I think Terry would be a fool to weigh in at this point. It would only prolong the discussion. I have a feeling that he would be open to an inquiry if you wanted to contact him directly. But given his long history of service in this community, I doubt that this one incident is worth worrying about. I encourage all of you to visit the Senior Center yourself. They are always open to visitors and volunteers. And soon many of us will even be beneficiaries!

[Hello for BBay]

In maybe defense of Gruffly, he might get possibly 10 to 20 people a day wanting to drop off booklets, etc. Bodyworkers, holistic health practitioners, etc....I am not condoning his behavior, but maybe call ahead of time, make an appointment and then tell him what you have to offer instead of "cold calling". I know I really dont care care for someone knocking on my door giving me a sales pitch.... I am not saying that was your case, but maybe he saw it that way..... Try a different way of introducing yourself instead of " here I am and this is what I offer" without an appointment......By example......If you were a massage therapist and someone just walked in unannounced and started telling you how their product was good for your business, how would you react? Just an independent observation

[podfish]

as an earlier poster pointed out, the internet is a place where things get blown out of proportion pretty much immediately, just for s&g (e.g. "entertainment value").
In the dark ages before it existed, a letter or phone call to management was the preferred means of initial complaint. Using this forum simply to ask for contact information without going into the dirty details also would be good.

Just for next time....

[jbox]

In maybe defense of Gruffly, he might get possibly 10 to 20 people a day wanting to drop off booklets, etc. Bodyworkers, holistic health practitioners, etc....I am not condoning his behavior, but maybe call ahead of time, make an appointment and then tell him what you have to offer instead of "cold calling". I know I really dont care care for someone knocking on my door giving me a sales pitch.... I am not saying that was your case, but maybe he saw it that way..... Try a different way of introducing yourself instead of " here I am and this is what I offer" without an appointment......By example......If you were a massage therapist and someone just walked in unannounced and started telling you how their product was good for your business, how would you react? Just an independent observation

I hear what you're saying and you're probably right about this particular situation. I also think there are too many people walking around that are too easily offended by too many things too much of the time. So don't sweat the small stuff, folks! Let it just roll off your back. Quit running around the barnyard clucking and carrying on like a bunch of indignant chickens. Get on with your lives with a smile on your face. Does this kind of thing REALLY matter? In the great (or small) scheme of things, of course not. Have a nice day!!