U.S. Responds to North Korea

[Sara S]

from borowitzreport.com

May 26, 2009

U.S. to Respond to North Korea with ‘Strongest Possible Adjectives'

Obama: We are Prepared to Consult Thesaurus

One day after North Korea launched a successful test of a nuclear weapon, President Obama said that the United States was prepared to respond to the threat with "the strongest possible adjectives."
In remarks to reporters at the White House, Mr. Obama said that North Korea should fear the "full force and might of the United States' arsenal of adjectives" and called the missile test "reckless, reprehensible, objectionable, senseless, egregious and condemnable."
Standing at the President's side, Vice President Joseph Biden weighed in with some tough adjectives of his own, branding North Korean President Kim Jong-Il "totally wack and illin'."
Later in the day, Defense Secretary Robert Gates called the North Korean nuclear test "supercilious and jejune," leading some in diplomatic circles to worry that the U.S. might be running out of appropriate adjectives with which to craft its response.
But President Obama attempted to calm those fears, saying that the United States was prepared to "scour the thesaurus" to come up with additional adjectives and was "prepared to use adverbs" if necessary.
"Let's be clear: we are not taking adverbs off the table," Mr. Obama said. "If the need arises, we will use them forcefully, aggressively, swiftly, overwhelmingly and commandingly."

[Tars]

How droll. Not sure what you found amusing and shareworthy about this shallow reaction to a potentially horrific situation. Hopefully Kim won't decide to sell nuclear devices or fissionable material to any of the various nutjob factions who have much more money than they have humanity.

Not intending to attack you personally, It's just a very worrisome situation, for everyone on the globe, so a flippant reaction probably isn't warranted.

Isotopes have highly regional individual characteristics, like fingerprints. I wouldn't want to be the POTUS, and have to deal with this situation. But if I had to, I'd say something to Kim like, "If any radioactive material manufactured by North Korea, is used as a weapon anywhere against anyone, the U.S. will consider it to be an act of war on the U.S. by the government of North Korea, and will treat the government of Korea accordingly, with catastrophic consequences for that regime."

Are those appropriate adjectives?

[Sara S]

You do know that Andy Borowitz is a brilliant comedian, don't you?

I don't think that the holocaust was "amusing" either, but have you ever seen Mel Brooks' movie "The Producers?" The song "Springtime for Hitler" may be the funniest song ever written.

How droll. Not sure what you found amusing and shareworthy about this shallow reaction to a potentially horrific situation. Hopefully Kim won't decide to sell nuclear devices or fissionable material to any of the various nutjob factions who have much more money than they have humanity.

Not intending to attack you personally, It's just a very worrisome situation, for everyone on the globe, so a flippant reaction probably isn't warranted.

Isotopes have highly regional individual characteristics, like fingerprints. I wouldn't want to be the POTUS, and have to deal with this situation. But if I had to, I'd say something to Kim like, "If any radioactive material manufactured by North Korea, is used as a weapon anywhere against anyone, the U.S. will consider it to be an act of war on the U.S. by the government of North Korea, and will treat the government of Korea accordingly, with catastrophic consequences for that regime."

Are those appropriate adjectives?

[Tars]

You do know that Andy Borowitz is a brilliant comedian, don't you?

His post wasn't funny. Maybe he'll post a real knee-slapper when some zealot sets off a dirty bomb in a synagogue, or the local shopping mall.

The song "Springtime for Hitler" may be the funniest song ever written.

The premise was, that two reasonable sane people tried to come up with the most awful subject for a song they could think of. They apparently over-estimated the intelligence and sensitivity of the audience, who thought it was hilarious.

The callousness of the audience reaction was the point, not that it was a cutesy song about the Nazis. We laughed at our American selves. I hope we don't get a similar opportunity via Kim Jong Il.

[Braggi]

His post wasn't funny. Maybe he'll post a real knee-slapper when some zealot sets off a dirty bomb in a synagogue, or the local shopping mall.
...

The callousness of the audience reaction was the point, not that it was a cutesy song about the Nazis. We laughed at our American selves. I hope we don't get a similar opportunity via Kim Jong Il.

I think the Borowitz Report post was making fun of Obama's (so far) pretty lame response, not making fun of the test. But, of course, you know that Tars. I'm not sure what you're griping about.

If we can't make fun of ineffective politicians and their ineffective policies, we are surely doomed by our own lack of humor; no enemy needed.

Nuclear proliferation is one of the biggest problems our world faces. Yeah, that's pretty serious stuff. Our response should include offering to reduce and eventually eliminate our own nuclear weapons stash. It should also include sharing the technology required to eliminate the need for nuclear power plants as well as eliminating taxpayer support for the nuclear industry, both nuclear weaponry and nuclear power.

Meanwhile, we should be able to joke about it because our national positions are a joke, albeit, a terrible joke.

-Jeff

[Tars]

I think the Borowitz Report post was making fun of Obama's (so far) pretty lame response, not making fun of the test. But, of course, you know that Tars. I'm not sure what you're griping about.

Obama's response is "lame"? Please elucidate. What exactly do you think an un "lame" response would be? As Sara said, Borowitz is a "brilliant" comedian. Hmm..brilliance is apparently in the eye of the reader. Borowitz is only comedic in that he criticized, but offered no alternative. The implication is that if Obama is lame because the administration is just spewing adjectives, then they'd be un-lame only if they used action, instead of words. What action? Brilliant Borowitz is silent there, eh?

What the Obama administration is practicing is diplomacy. I know it's alien and urecognizeable to some, after eight years of pouting, posturing, and bullyism. If you want to see action instead of words, and you have access to HBO, watch John Bolton's recap of Bush policies, on Friday's Maher show. The Bushies tried to bully and isolate North Korea into acquiescing. Action, not words. How did that work out?

The U.S. has very limited means of impacting Kim's behavior. Basically, we can pay him off to (temporarily at best) stop his nuclear programs. Revisit the last three decades of N.K. U.S. relations to see how that worked. Or, we have military options. Do you prefer that route Braggi?

I think that Borowitz, before running his "comedic" mouth on the subject any more, would be advised to pay more attention, specifically to what Defense Secretary Gates has to say. I'm probably a bit more hawkish than Gates, and certainly way more hawkish than the "conscious"-inclined people here. If Kim wants to sit at the adults' table, with the rest of the responsible nations of the world, he needs to act like a responsible adult, and halt export of nuclear materials and missile technology. If nuclear material from NK is used by anyone, anywhere, Kim should know that his government is going to be spanked, harshly.

At the same time, the Obama administration should continue use of the adjectives, especially in closed-door discussions with China, who is the global player with the best chance of mitigating Kim. But China should know, as everyone else should, that if they won't neutralize th NK nuclear propogation, then the U.S. will.

[Sara S]

To make fun of something is not the same as criticizing it, and a comedian is someone who wants to make us laugh; this doesn't require that he offer an alternative. There are plenty of critics to do that, and they do, every day, from both sides of the fence.

I think that aside from making a joke about the situation, Borowitz was also commenting on President Obama's intelligence and education, but I may be reading too much into the joke. I think you were, too.

Obama's response is "lame"? Please elucidate. What exactly do you think an un "lame" response would be? As Sara said, Borowitz is a "brilliant" comedian. Hmm..brilliance is apparently in the eye of the reader. Borowitz is only comedic in that he criticized, but offered no alternative. The implication is that if Obama is lame because the administration is just spewing adjectives, then they'd be un-lame only if they used action, instead of words. What action? Brilliant Borowitz is silent there, eh?

What the Obama administration is practicing is diplomacy. I know it's alien and urecognizeable to some, after eight years of pouting, posturing, and bullyism. If you want to see action instead of words, and you have access to HBO, watch John Bolton's recap of Bush policies, on Friday's Maher show. The Bushies tried to bully and isolate North Korea into acquiescing. Action, not words. How did that work out?

The U.S. has very limited means of impacting Kim's behavior. Basically, we can pay him off to (temporarily at best) stop his nuclear programs. Revisit the last three decades of N.K. U.S. relations to see how that worked. Or, we have military options. Do you prefer that route Braggi?

I think that Borowitz, before running his "comedic" mouth on the subject any more, would be advised to pay more attention, specifically to what Defense Secretary Gates has to say. I'm probably a bit more hawkish than Gates, and certainly way more hawkish than the "conscious"-inclined people here. If Kim wants to sit at the adults' table, with the rest of the responsible nations of the world, he needs to act like a responsible adult, and halt export of nuclear materials and missile technology. If nuclear material from NK is used by anyone, anywhere, Kim should know that his government is going to be spanked, harshly.

At the same time, the Obama administration should continue use of the adjectives, especially in closed-door discussions with China, who is the global player with the best chance of mitigating Kim. But China should know, as everyone else should, that if they won't neutralize th NK nuclear propogation, then the U.S. will.