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  1. TopTop #1
    Barry's Avatar
    Barry
    Founder & Moderator

    Keeping WaccoBB.net safe



    I have finally taken the action that many of you have requested; I am banning "MsTerry". This has been a difficult decision since many of his posts (he's a man) are fine. However, there has been a consistent pattern of obnoxious, taunting, mean, "in your face" posts that clearly seek to get a reaction, preferably defensive, at all costs. In a word acting like a troll.

    Wikipedia defines a troll as:

    In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum or chat room, with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional response[1] or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion.[2]
    I'd say he fits the bill to a T. True to the nature of WaccoBB.net, he is more conscious and witty than your garden variety troll, using his considerable skill to twist things in order to deliver his stinging payload, while being witty or in some way "defensible". He has pissed off countless users and derailed many worthy conversations.

    Besides the particular user who he succeeds in making upset, there are all the readers that are also affected. Yes, there is the option to ignore his posts, but that is beyond the ability of many users, and new or infrequent users will have no idea who this "woman" is.

    Beyond that, and most importantly, it undermines the sense of safety, compassion and respect which is what I want to engender within this conscious community. Without this sense of safety, users leave or choose not to join, or are less transparent and trusting because of the harshness that is tolerated here. I will be moderating more closely in the future to restore this sense of safety and respect.

    In light of the fact that MsTerry does have some redeeming value, I am going to let him continue to post to the Censored and Uncensored category. That way, unsuspecting readers and posters in the other categories will not have to deal with him, while he can still post and others can read and interact with the knowledge that they do so at their own risk.

    The Censored and Uncensored category is not included in our Daily Digest by default, but it's easy to add (see how). You can also subscribe to get individual emails of his post by marking him as your "Buddy" (see how).

    I realize some of you (including any sockpuppets that MsTerry still has or creates) may not agree with this action, while many will applaud it as long overdue. There are sure to be concerns about "freedom of speech" and that this board should be open for all to use. I don't agree. You can see my thoughts on those issues here. After allowing over 2,500 posts (including the one from his former username, ThePhiant) my patience is exhausted and it is clear that his presence here does more harm than good.

    And to MsTerry, I hope you will be honorable and respect this decision and not try to create alternate aliases.
    Last edited by Barry; 05-25-2009 at 07:01 PM.

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  2. TopTop #2
    Hot Compost
     

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    Quote Barry wrote: View Post
    I have finally taken the action that many of you have requested; I am banning "MsTerry".
    can you provide a link to one of the more offensive Ms. Terry posts ? i've read dozens of his posts and don't understand what behavior you had a problem with.

    i do understand one fact of life about moderating a forum - it can take up a lot of time (Barry's time, in this case), so sometimes a moderator just needs to ban members that are taking up too much of their time.

    i was quite grateful for Ms. Terry's participation, specifically his willingness to tell the truth about Israel's treatment of the Palestinians.
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  3. TopTop #3
    RexCasteel
    Guest

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    Not an easy job you have, Barry.

    I'm not taking a stand "for or against" MsTerry, or even "against free speech" - I don't have any familiarity with the history of this saga - but you are the one who has to make the call.

    Nice one.

    - Rex

    Quote Barry wrote: View Post
    I have finally taken the action that many of you have requested; I am banning "MsTerry". This has been a difficult decision...
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  4. TopTop #4
    oreokid
     

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    I applaud your decision Barry. I commend your courage to make a tough choice.
    To me, this illustrates the subject of tyranny that came up the other day. In part, tyranny is defined as:

    the word simply means one who has taken power by their own means

    many people whom I meet and am forced to work with thrive on their own brand of tyranny. People who post here to inflame and upset others are tyrants in their own right and need not be suffered. They feed on the misery they inflict on others. They will create misery if none exists. The reasons and remedy for this abound and would be fit for a thread all its own. They act like obnoxious children, and I agree wholeheartedly they need a timeout.
    Indeed, in a less civilized society, cretins such as these would simply be found along the road, feeding vultures.
    I note that you have only banned this one screen name, leaving room for this person to grow and join us as an adult, if they so choose. I hope they choose wisely.
    Harassment in any form is not acceptableÖÖend of story!
    thank you barry
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  5. TopTop #5
    shellebelle
     

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    I am not sure quite where I stand on this totally.

    I know Ms Terry loves to push buttons and create intelligent conversation often simply for the sake of conversation. And is that conversation not what we come for.

    On the other hand I know Barry.

    My truth is Barry has manifested this through his own actions; he is greater than a co-creater.

    Has anyone besides maybe me asked "Why is Waccobb as it is?"

    Based on LOA (Law of Attraction), Karma and many other wisdoms Waccobb is a direct reflection of it's owner.

    So those of you have decided that Ms Terry is not a good fit for your life stream I wonder . . . how is it that Waccobb is?

    Just hoping to get people thinking, questioning, and wondering about themselves a bit here.

    And yes I posted this on Ms Terry's thread since otherwise she can't read what I have posted.
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  6. TopTop #6
    Braggi's Avatar
    Braggi
     

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    Quote shellebelle wrote: View Post
    ... I know Ms Terry loves to push buttons and create intelligent conversation often simply for the sake of conversation. And is that conversation not what we come for. ...
    I don't come here to be insulted or to read inane comments solely intended to irritate, obfuscate and otherwise add nothing to the conversation.

    ThePhiant/MsTerry adds nothing worth reading, in my opinion, with rare exception. The signal to noise ratio is so bad it was time to cut the static. Or, it was time to cut the static many months ago, but Barry's benevolent, patient attitude allowed the ban to sit on the shelf a very long time.

    I hoped for a very long time MsTerry would grow up and join the conversation on a peer level, but it hasn't happened, and now I believe it won't. I'm actually sorry about that.

    Quote shellebelle wrote: View Post
    ... My truth is Barry has manifested this through his own actions; he is greater than a co-creater.

    Has anyone besides maybe me asked "Why is Waccobb as it is?" ...
    Waccobb.net is as it is because of the open nature of audience participation. Barry does very little to shape content here. If you believe otherwise you ain't payin' attention.

    -Jeff
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  7. TopTop #7
    "Mad" Miles
     

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    Dear Waccobbites,

    The recent paroxysms of Troll Rage reminded me of this classic death scene from "Blade Runner".

    Warning: Contains graphic, albeit stylized, violence:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqNRZ5iVOJM

    Talk about a temper tantrum!

    I doubt we've seen the last of ThePhiant/MsTerry/et al. But I applaud Barry's latest move. And no, I don't think he should "retire" it/her/him in real life permanently. That might make Barry end up as one of my students. I don't wish prison on most people.

    This is a metaphor I'm proposing, not a literal truth.

    And for those who've been "trying" to stereotype me as an asshole... I have generally responded, in the privacy of my office/kitchen while at my 'puter, to their/your attempts as I do in traffic when someone runs up on my bumper at high speed to express their frustration and rage.

    I laugh uproariously at the absurdity of their/your reaction, especially in regard to their potential self-destruction. It no longer gets my adrenaline flowing as it once might have.

    Other than those belly laughs I haven't replied. Until this little piece of whimsy, and this will be it from me.

    I'm not threatening anyone here, or on the road.

    Such rage must not be good for one's health. And it's very risky driving.

    Didn't Zeno forward something yesterday about perfectionists having shorter life spans?

    Of course, on the internet there is little or no risk of immediate self-destruction, other than psychic and emotional long-term damage, hence some people's proclivity for trolling.

    It's fun, it's easy and it's safe. If not for others, at least oneself.

    Thankfully, it's no longer welcome here. In the case of one person. Any more.

    Party On!

    "Mad" Miles

    Last edited by "Mad" Miles; 05-26-2009 at 07:42 PM.
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  8. TopTop #8
    Barry's Avatar
    Barry
    Founder & Moderator

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    Quote Hot Compost wrote: View Post
    can you provide a link to one of the more offensive Ms. Terry posts ? i've read dozens of his posts and don't understand what behavior you had a problem with.

    i do understand one fact of life about moderating a forum - it can take up a lot of time (Barry's time, in this case), so sometimes a moderator just needs to ban members that are taking up too much of their time.
    ...
    MsTerry and people who have reacted to him have taken alot of my time over the years. I'm not interested in researching his thousands of posts. Long time readers will know that he has caused many a member to become frustrated and/or angry, often by an accumulation of many little jabs and distortions. There is good reason that he is the most ignored member on the list.

    The recent thread that proved to be straw that broke this camel's back was Sabrina's post about her husband of 20 years and father of her children being abducted by ICE (immigration) agents. Rather than having compassion for the family, or just being quiet, MsTerry chose to post about how Okili's abduction was warranted (as if he knew everything involved).

    Clearly such a post would get an emotional reaction, and it did. He had found his next "mark" to entertain himself, using his favorite technique of accusing people of having done wrong, by twisting their own words against them. Once he got a reaction, he pressed his case, redundantly, on Mother's Day.

    If it were just this case I would chalk it up to insensitivity. However this is part of a very consistent long term pattern. I will not allow this meanness to be spread via WaccoBB.net. And I don't want to have to parse out each of his many posts to see exactly how he is subtly attacking his mark.

    I tried to ban him completely as ThePhiant for the identical problem. He managed to get back on the system and I finally welcomed him back and asked that he change his way. He has continued his same game. This time I am allowing him to post in the UnCensored category, which didn't exist before (he was one of the prime antagonists that prompted me to create that category).

    If 6 months goes by and he doesn't try to sneak back on the moderated categories, I'll restore his full posting rights. I will be pleasantly surprised if he doesn't cause the same problems once again. Who knows, by then he may have found a new hobby!
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  9. TopTop #9
    Skook
     

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    People who enjoy inflicting pain on others and watching them suffer generally don't see the light and become compassionate just because someone points out their anti-social behavior. They're generally immune to therapy too. They don't see their behavior as a problem, it's a source of enjoyment.

    By trying to appear fair, and appealing to a non-existent conscience, you continue to exacerbate the problem.

    Quote Barry wrote: View Post
    MsTerry and people who have reacted to him have taken alot of my time over the years. I'm not interested in researching his thousands of posts. Long time readers will know that he has caused many a member to become frustrated and/or angry, often by an accumulation of many little jabs and distortions. There is good reason that he is the most ignored member on the list.

    The recent thread that proved to be straw that broke this camel's back was Sabrina's post about her husband of 20 years and father of her children being abducted by ICE (immigration) agents. Rather than having compassion for the family, or just being quiet, MsTerry chose to post about how Okili's abduction was warranted (as if he knew everything involved).

    Clearly such a post would get an emotional reaction, and it did. He had found his next "mark" to entertain himself, using his favorite technique of accusing people of having done wrong, by twisting their own words against them. Once he got a reaction, he pressed his case, redundantly, on Mother's Day.

    If it were just this case I would chalk it up to insensitivity. However this is part of a very consistent long term pattern. I will not allow this meanness to be spread via WaccoBB.net. And I don't want to have to parse out each of his many posts to see exactly how he is subtly attacking his mark.

    I tried to ban him completely as ThePhiant for the identical problem. He managed to get back on the system and I finally welcomed him back and asked that he change his way. He has continued his same game. This time I am allowing him to post in the UnCensored category, which didn't exist before (he was one of the prime antagonists that prompted me to create that category).

    If 6 months goes by and he doesn't try to sneak back on the moderated categories, I'll restore his full posting rights. I will be pleasantly surprised if he doesn't cause the same problems once again. Who knows, by then he may have found a new hobby!
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  10. TopTop #10
    Mrs. Wacco's Avatar
    Mrs. Wacco
    Behind every great man...

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    Shellebelle - what is the point of your post?

    Clearly, Ms Terry is the only member of Wacco that needs banning, so what is the relevance of your question:

    " Based on LOA (Law of Attraction), Karma and many other wisdoms Waccobb is a direct reflection of it's owner.

    So those of you have decided that Ms Terry is not a good fit for your life stream I wonder . . . how is it that Waccobb is?
    "

    In case you don't understand the concept, Ms Terry is banned because she/he DOES NOT reflect what Wacco is and what Barry aspires it to be.

    And by the nature of your post, it is apparent you do not either.

    Linda


    Quote shellebelle wrote: View Post
    ...On the other hand I know Barry.

    My truth is Barry has manifested this through his own actions; he is greater than a co-creater.

    Has anyone besides maybe me asked "Why is Waccobb as it is?"

    Based on LOA (Law of Attraction), Karma and many other wisdoms Waccobb is a direct reflection of it's owner.

    So those of you have decided that Ms Terry is not a good fit for your life stream I wonder . . . how is it that Waccobb is?

    Just hoping to get people thinking, questioning, and wondering about themselves a bit here.

    And yes I posted this on Ms Terry's thread since otherwise she can't read what I have posted.
    Last edited by Barry; 05-27-2009 at 04:35 PM.
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  11. TopTop #11
    decterlove
    Guest

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    Quote Mad Miles wrote: View Post

    I doubt we've seen the last of ThePhiant/MsTerry/et al.
    Well, I found Ms.Terry/Phiant occasionally sweet, intelligent and amusing but generally inflammatory and insulting and unrepentant.

    And I applaud all boundaries settings, even those in Cyberspace...


    However I strongly caution Waccobians to be on the alert for the following new handles such as:

    MyNewPussy
    KillyaBarryWhileUrWalkingUrDog
    ImaRealPissyGalNowandNoIwontputtheToiletSeatDown
    WaccoSuckMyFalseTitties
    WhyDonchaLoveMeNoMoreWhyWhyWhyWhy?
    YoullBeSorrySorrySorry
    HeyWhatAboutWillieLumpLump!
    ImPissedAndImBackHaHaHoHo
    MissPissednFuming

    and last but not least

    IllBeBackINACrackasMissJackToGiveyaMoreFlack!


    signing off now...........just wanted to give ya a heads up, Barr!
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  12. TopTop #12
    ThePhiant
     

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    It appears that everyone agrees that I am the same person as ThePhiant, I might as well come back as one.

    Quote Barry wrote: View Post
    MsTerry and people who have reacted to him have taken alot of my time over the years. I'm not interested in researching his thousands of posts. Long time readers will know that he has caused many a member to become frustrated and/or angry, often by an accumulation of many little jabs and distortions. There is good reason that he is the most ignored member on the list.
    You mean I have a following?

    The recent thread that proved to be straw that broke this camel's back was Sabrina's post about her husband of 20 years and father of her children being abducted by ICE (immigration) agents. Rather than having compassion for the family, or just being quiet, MsTerry chose to post about how Okili's abduction was warranted (as if he knew everything involved).
    No Barry, I pointed out the distortions in her stories.
    Just like you are now calling his arrest an "abduction", that is not only emotional manipulation, IT IS A LIE!
    Clearly such a post would get an emotional reaction, and it did. He had found his next "mark" to entertain himself, using his favorite technique of accusing people of having done wrong, by twisting their own words against them. Once he got a reaction, he pressed his case, redundantly, on Mother's Day.
    No Barry, I was the one using facts, maybe cold, hard INS facts, but nevertheless REAL facts.
    If it were just this case I would chalk it up to insensitivity. However this is part of a very consistent long term pattern. I will not allow this meanness to be spread via WaccoBB.net. And I don't want to have to parse out each of his many posts to see exactly how he is subtly attacking his mark.
    When someone asks for help, my first reaction is; how can I help you, My second is; Am I enabling you or helping you.
    I tried to ban him completely as ThePhiant for the identical problem. He managed to get back on the system and I finally welcomed him back and asked that he change his way. He has continued his same game. This time I am allowing him to post in the UnCensored category, which didn't exist before (he was one of the prime antagonists that prompted me to create that category).
    You make it seem as if that is my home.
    Mykil used to call it the doghouse though.

    If 6 months goes by and he doesn't try to sneak back on the moderated categories, I'll restore his full posting rights.
    Gosh Darn, you didn't tell me that beforehand.
    I will be pleasantly surprised if he doesn't cause the same problems once again. Who knows, by then he may have found a new hobby!
    Oh Yeah, what you'all gonna do when you don't have me to kick around anymore?
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  13. TopTop #13
    nurturetruth's Avatar
    nurturetruth
    Co-observing

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe



    feelin' a bit confused here~

    I have to question the unconscious/conscious intention of posting this particular thread in the "wacco talk category"?
    Was the intention to stir the pot, get feedback, or to start a discussion about this? Or was the intention to simply make an announcement?

    I can say I do feel that a family in trauma deserves to be surrounded by vibrations of compassion and empathy regardless of the 'facts'. Which leads me to wonder why msterry got banned but his comments were not edited/removed. Perhaps it just takes too much work?

    I too wish to learn more about what Wacco aspires to be.

    A quote I stumbled upon recently:

    "The definition/process of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting (or hoping for ) different results."






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  14. TopTop #14
    Skook
     

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    You make some excellent points, and I too question the motives and method. And, why is MsTerry still posting as ThePhiant?

    I'm also questioning the veracity of a 'community' that supposedly has over 9,400 members and only a dozen or two regular posters. I think it's time for me to move on.


    Quote nurturetruth wrote: View Post


    feelin' a bit confused here~

    I have to question the unconscious/conscious intention of posting this particular thread in the "wacco talk category"?
    Was the intention to stir the pot, get feedback, or to start a discussion about this? Or was the intention to simply make an announcement?

    I can say I do feel that a family in trauma deserves to be surrounded by vibrations of compassion and empathy regardless of the 'facts'. Which leads me to wonder why msterry got banned but his comments were not edited/removed. Perhaps it just takes too much work?

    I too wish to learn more about what Wacco aspires to be.

    A quote I stumbled upon recently:

    "The definition/process of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting (or hoping for ) different results."






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  15. TopTop #15
    oreokid
     

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    Dear nurturetruth

    I personally think what you are witnessing here is democracy in action. Free speech rules the day. No one edits or removes anyoneís comments. Say what you think, whenever you think it.
    However, like a person that insists on telling vulgar jokes at a dinner party. A good host will wait until guests object, before exercising his duty to everyone, to clean it up. One never imposes their own view on anyone who doesnít ask for it. It seems to me that barry waited until too many people complained for him to ignore it any longer. As a good host he did not censor or edit or tell someone what to say. Its either play nice or leave. Wacco is a place to be who you are, say what you think, but do it nicely. Part of growing up is acquiring the ability to get ones point across with demeaning or offending others. When these children desire to be the center of attention, and will go to any lengths to ensure they are, a responsible adult must step in and put things in order again.
    Barry was simply informing us of his decision and resultant action. Would you prefer he do it in secret? I donít. Honest people will tell you right up front what they are doing and why.
    Wacco seems (to me) to be an evolving community without borders or limits. A common room where everyone can visit, chat, or whatever they like. The only rule Iíve noticed is one common to all civilized society: play nice, show respect to everyone.

    If you canít be nice, what else is one to do?
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  16. TopTop #16
    Braggi's Avatar
    Braggi
     

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    Quote Skook wrote: View Post
    You make some excellent points, and I too question the motives and method. And, why is MsTerry still posting as ThePhiant?

    I'm also questioning the veracity of a 'community' that supposedly has over 9,400 members and only a dozen or two regular posters. I think it's time for me to move on.
    ThePhiant is probably already banned as I write this.

    Skook, one of the main reasons there are so few posters is because people don't want to be belittled by small minded posters. The major one of those in recent years is MsTerry. Hopefully now that he's gone, some folks will be more willing to post.

    Quite a few people "moved on" because of MsTerry. I know because a good handful of them wrote me offline to let me know. New people were especially vulnerable to MsTerry's hit pieces since they didn't know what to expect here. They'd make a post or two, MsTerry would stomp all over them, and they'd never post again.

    -Jeff
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  17. TopTop #17
    nurturetruth's Avatar
    nurturetruth
    Co-observing

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    Thank u Jeff for sharing ur perspectives and for adding ur energy to wacco.

    Yet i still find myself eagerly awaiting to hear from Barry, (or Linda) what Wacco is 'aspiring to be'.




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  18. TopTop #18
    CSummer's Avatar
    CSummer
     

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    First, I have to ask: Why are comments even possible under categories like Gen Comm, For sale, etc.? I feel baffled and exasperated as I try to make sense of this. (These and all feelings I may express are simply and totally my own responses.) It seems to me that any comments that could lead to discussion belong in a separate category for that purpose.

    Second, what kind of psychological environment do we want to create or foster in a "conscious community," and how can we best do that? My experience is that we maximize what is possible in any group or relationship when everyone can feel safe, respected, accepted (welcome), cared for, valued, seen and heard, allowed to be who/as they are and express whatever is true for them. We don't create such an environment by being nice or polite, but by being both real and responsible, by expressing even difficult feelings in a caring, nonblaming and nonjudgmental way. We do it by expressing our "unarguable" truth, which is what we're experiencing and not what we imagine is true for someone else. Laying our trips on each other will never work for this purpose.
    Is it possible that within Wacco there could be at least one or two categories in which there was some agreement about what kind of environment we want to co-create? Then, ideally, before posting for the first time, members would be required to agree to the guidelines/attitudes that are conducive to creating that environment.

    Third, having a compassionate way of letting people know when their posts do not reflect agreed-upon guidelines or attitudes seems desirable. The person could then have the option of editing the post or having it moved to another category that has different (or no) guidelines.

    It seems to me that a conscious, adult way of handling such things would be to have a button that allows anyone to "flag for review" any message they consider nonsupportive or otherwise outside the guidelines. A volunteer council could then review such posts and determine the best way to deal with them. This way we avoid the situation where people complain to one person who is responsible for warning, censoring or banning - the "dirty work," which is more the way we handled things in elementary school.

    Conscious community leads us, ideally, toward more mature, responsible ways of expressing ourselves and dealing with issues. If we can learn to do this here, perhaps it will help us see more options for dealing with people and issues in the rest of our lives.
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  19. TopTop #19
    decterlove
    Guest

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    Quote Braggi wrote: View Post

    Quite a few people "moved on" because of MsTerry. I know because a good handful of them wrote me offline to let me know. New people were especially vulnerable to MsTerry's hit pieces since they didn't know what to expect here. They'd make a post or two, MsTerry would stomp all over them, and they'd never post again.

    -Jeff
    Well I sympathize with anyone that was that intimidated by MsTerriant but isn't the IGNORE button always available to anyone who doesn't like the consistent tone/values/attitude of any wacco member. I've used once or twice myself and it worked fine for a poster that offended my sensibilities.

    Did you mention this option to those individuals who decided not to post again, Jeff?

    The thing about Missiantphi is simply that shehe's one pretty lightweight abeit annoying at times participant in this pretty neat forum. Anyone who has tried to participate in some of Craigslist forums like their flag forum or the pc users forum has probably been exposed to an exponentially more nasty and toxic consistent set of responses when asking most simple question. I've been jumped on in my most astonishing ways on some of the Craigslist forums and never bother going on them again. If I have a question about ps for example I just frame a google search in the follwoing way

    "forum "running scripts"

    and I find other forums that are still certified cybernazi free...

    So my overall feeling is that Phianterry is really just a smart little pimple on a very big dimple and we should all just keep it simple.

    there are bigger problems in the world right now....I mean who would you rather have dinner with tomorrow.....MsTerriant or Kim Jong-il?

    Lighten up Fellow Waccobbians....it's later than you think............
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  20. TopTop #20
    Barry's Avatar
    Barry
    Founder & Moderator

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    A few comments on some previous posts:

    First regarding the post from ThePhiant (MsTerry's former username) I don't know how that account became unbanned, but it's banned now. I suppose it was only fair that he got one last post outside of UnCensored.

    Quote nurturetruth wrote: View Post


    feelin' a bit confused here~

    I have to question the unconscious/conscious intention of posting this particular thread in the "wacco talk category"?
    Was the intention to stir the pot, get feedback, or to start a discussion about this? Or was the intention to simply make an announcement?

    I can say I do feel that a family in trauma deserves to be surrounded by vibrations of compassion and empathy regardless of the 'facts'. Which leads me to wonder why msterry got banned but his comments were not edited/removed. Perhaps it just takes too much work?
    My intention was to make an announcement. I knew for sure that it would instigate a discussion so I posted it in WaccoTalk. I did not remove his prior posts because that would disrupt the continuum of the threads.

    Quote nurturetruth wrote: View Post
    I too wish to learn more about what Wacco aspires to be.
    See my recent post: https://www.waccobb.net/forums/wacco...ty-values.html

    Quote CSummer wrote: View Post
    First, I have to ask: Why are comments even possible under categories like Gen Comm, For sale, etc.?
    Comments (replies) are not possible in For Sale. I do allow comments in General Community and let the thread stay there for a while if I feel it is of general interest and the discussion stays on topic. I generally move it to WaccoTalk if it really gets going. I think this makes the system more responsive.

    Quote CSummer wrote: View Post
    Second, what kind of psychological environment do we want to create or foster in a "conscious community," and how can we best do that? My experience is that we maximize what is possible in any group or relationship when everyone can feel safe, respected, accepted (welcome), cared for, valued, seen and heard, allowed to be who/as they are and express whatever is true for them. We don't create such an environment by being nice or polite, but by being both real and responsible, by expressing even difficult feelings in a caring, nonblaming and nonjudgmental way. We do it by expressing our "unarguable" truth, which is what we're experiencing and not what we imagine is true for someone else. Laying our trips on each other will never work for this purpose.
    Is it possible that within Wacco there could be at least one or two categories in which there was some agreement about what kind of environment we want to co-create? Then, ideally, before posting for the first time, members would be required to agree to the guidelines/attitudes that are conducive to creating that environment.
    I have tried to address this in my post about https://www.waccobb.net/forums/wacco...ty-values.html .

    When people register they are asked to read the "WaccoBB.net Rules" that requires you to check the box that says "I have read, and agree to abide by the WaccoBB rules"? Did you actually read them? If so, my guess is that you are in the minority. For what's its worth, I will be upgrading the text in that box shortly.

    Users are sent an email upon registration with a link to the posting guidelines. OTOH, if you think that will fix all problems, you are kidding yourself.

    Quote CSummer wrote: View Post
    Third, having a compassionate way of letting people know when their posts do not reflect agreed-upon guidelines or attitudes seems desirable. The person could then have the option of editing the post or having it moved to another category that has different (or no) guidelines.

    It seems to me that a conscious, adult way of handling such things would be to have a button that allows anyone to "flag for review" any message they consider nonsupportive or otherwise outside the guidelines. A volunteer council could then review such posts and determine the best way to deal with them. This way we avoid the situation where people complain to one person who is responsible for warning, censoring or banning - the "dirty work," which is more the way we handled things in elementary school.
    As I've stated in other posts, I generally warn people privately first. I have asked for people to help moderate WaccoTalk and I have gotten no takers. Help would be appreciated. There is a flagging system in place and it is occaisionally used. Granted it could be upgraded and promoted more. I hope to do that in a future rev of system.

    What is used more often, and works just fine, is for people to contact me when they see a problem. Automatic systems, such as Craigslists', have their own problems. This is one of the benefits of a moderated system.
    Last edited by Barry; 05-29-2009 at 09:48 PM.

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  21. TopTop #21
    shellebelle
     

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    Hi Lucky, I see you are new; welcome to our conscious and progressive jungle.

    I do hope you get a chance to know Barry as well as the other wonderful people of Wacco and create your own personal definition of wacco. I'd suggest the next Wacco event but I don't think there has been anything since prior to the elections.

    I do think you have some misinformation.

    To the best of my knowledge Linda and Barry aren't married. She has just taken on the moniker {Self projection (and maybe some expectations with attachments she has for their relationship) versus self reflection, truth and transparency. It happens to us all.}. They were engaged a few months ago; I believe (I think it was announced here); after 5 years of dating and they plan a wedding in another 5; again from what I hear.

    They do not live together either last I knew. Linda lives and works in Marin. And Barry lives and works in Sebastopol though he seemingly has the ability to travel a bit since he's a bit more virtual. I do sporadically see them around town but their joined presence could be greater; I am so butterflying I easily miss things that don't sparkle.

    And I did respond to Linda privately. Obviously she does not feel a need to withdraw her inimical words.

    I am not sure yet I want to fully disclose the words I shared with her at this time but I will share this:

    We did in essence find agreement

    Note:

    Linda spoke of aspiration Quote:
    In case you don't understand the concept, Ms Terry is banned because she/he DOES NOT reflect what Wacco is and what Barry aspires it to be.

    thus Linda admitted that Ms Terry is an accurate reflection, criticism, view, consideration, contemplation, censure, study, thinking, and indeed ruminate of Barry.

    ~~~~~

    Lucky again welcome. We are an oddball assortment it's true and we fight like family so we must actually care.

    ~~~~~

    Quote LUCKY wrote: View Post
    Good for you for standing up for your husband, after all you live with him and know him best!
    It's just so awful what people will say about each other.
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  22. TopTop #22
    nurturetruth's Avatar
    nurturetruth
    Co-observing

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    I love my reflection (s)
    and the process of reflection
    especially
    with a wide range of beautiful diverse vibrations
    sometimes comfortable
    other times uncomfortable

    being flexible helps the dance
    I perhaps need more yoga!

    but for now my friends, ducking out of this forum
    for all of a sudden I don't feel "safe"



    Last edited by nurturetruth; 05-29-2009 at 12:19 AM.
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  23. TopTop #23
    shellebelle
     

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    There are times where watching the dance from the sidelines is good.

    It is true this dance has become a Paso Doble.

    It is often better to watch a Paso Doble than to participate.

    For me the Paso Doble is the greatest of all dances. It is passion, love, anger and power flowing into a beautiful communication of a story. For those who have not heard of it the description is below from wiki. (Pasodoble is based on music played at bullfights during the bullfighters' entrance (paseo) or during the passes (faena) just before the kill. The leader of this dance plays the part of the matador. The follower generally plays the part of the matador's cape, but can also represent the bull or a flamenco dancer in some figures. Its origin dates back to a French military march with the name ĒPaso Redobleď. This was a fast paced march and that is why this is a fast paced Latin American dance which was modeled after the Spanish bull fight. Because of its inherently choreographed tradition, ballroom Paso Doble for the most part danced only competitively, almost never socially ó or at least not without sticking to some sort of previously-learned routine. This said, in Spain, France, Vietnam, ColombiaGermany to the west of the river Rhine, it is danced socially as a lead (not choreographed) dance.)

    This is a socially lead (community demanded) paso doble telling the story in this case of matador (Barry) dancing with the bull (Ms Terry) we the community are in truth the audience to this dance. Yet it is also the story of the matador failing to kill the bull; which will bring great shame and dishonor to the matador. Obviously in a Paso Doble there is no kill yet a poor performance of a Paso Doble tells one much about the skill of the dancers.



    Quote nurturetruth wrote: View Post
    I love my reflection (s)
    and the process of reflection
    especially
    with a wide range of beautiful diverse vibrations
    sometimes comfortable
    other times uncomfortable

    being flexible helps the dance
    I perhaps need more yoga!

    but for now my friends, ducking out of this forum
    for all of a sudden I don't feel "safe"



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  24. TopTop #24
    lynn
    Guest

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    Well, I'm thinkin' like 'dectorlove' here...

    I haven't been on this board that much, but any troll...even the worst kind, isn't even close to being a 'tyrant'...Maybe an assh*le, and mean or stupid...but that's about it...bein' a 'tyrant' is a whole 'nother pretty nasty ballgame...

    dector...{"The thing about Missiantphi is simply that shehe's one pretty lightweight abeit annoying at times participant in this pretty neat forum. "}...

    ...{"So my overall feeling is that Phianterry is really just a smart little pimple on a very big dimple and we should all just keep it simple."}

    Ha!...Cute
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  25. TopTop #25
    Barry's Avatar
    Barry
    Founder & Moderator

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    Well, if itís a Paso Doble you want, Shellebelle, then itís a Paso Doble youíll get.

    For whatever reason, you have been gunning for me for a while now. Iíve tried to ignore your taunts but that hasnít worked. Itís time to dispatch you.

    Youíre already in serious violation of the fundamental guideline of WaccoBB.net, (treating each other with respect), but Iíll allow this to play out and so that you are consumed by your own vitriol.

    If you are in fact correct that each of the posts from the over 9,000 members on WaccoBB.net is somehow a personal reflection of me:

    Quote shellebelle wrote: View Post
    ... My truth is Barry has manifested this through his own actions; he is greater than a co-creater.

    Has anyone besides maybe me asked "Why is Waccobb as it is?"

    Based on LOA (Law of Attraction), Karma and many other wisdoms Waccobb is a direct reflection of it's owner. ...
    I must say that something is clearly off in my energy to have "manifested" the likes of your posts:

    Quote shellebelle wrote: View Post
    To the best of my knowledge Linda and Barry aren't married. She has just taken on the moniker {Self projection (and maybe some expectations with attachments she has for their relationship) versus self reflection, truth and transparency. It happens to us all.}.
    ...
    I do sporadically see them around town but their joined presence could be greater; I am so butterflying I easily miss things that don't sparkle.
    Sorry folks! Maybe it was something I ate...Talk about "projection" and self-aggrandizement! Sheeesh!

    But, perhaps you are right. Just as garden is a direct reflection of its gardener. A gardener must ensure the garden has all it needs to flourish, sunshine (love) nutrients (guidelines) and water, as well as the removal noxious weeds. So to the extent I have been too lax and have allowed some weeds to get established, the current harsh environment is of my ďmakingĒ.

    Iím going to fix that now.

    Iíve already removed MsTerry for the second time. Some weeds take a sustained effort to eradicate or contain. I am now resolved to do so.

    And now you, Shellebelle, have volunteered to be next, which is just as well. Thanks for stepping up!

    - - -

    While I was content to ignore your latest attack, though it clearly contributed to the negativity and un-safety that I am now trying to resolve, my beloved fiancť, Linda (Mrs. Wacco), was not.
    Quote shellebelle wrote: View Post
    And I did respond to Linda privately. Obviously she does not feel a need to withdraw her inimical words.
    Your reply to Lindaís measured public response was attempt to blackmail her to retract her post, with the threat of posting something with such maliciousness the likes of which I have never seen before, in fact or fiction. Itís a rant full of hearsay, projections and hyperbole. ďHell hath no fury like a woman scornedĒ indeed!

    This is grounds for immediate banning:

    5) BE RESPECTFUL: You are welcome to disagree with someone but you may not attack them in any way, either publicly or privately. This includes slurs against population groups. Also, any private email should remain private unless you have the author's permission to post it. If you receive inappropriate private email in response to your post on WaccoBB.net, please Contact Us.
    This is the most flagrant violation I have seen yet. You are no longer welcome here.

    However, since I am the ultimate target of your fury, rather than another member (even though you sent it to Linda in an attempt to inflict as much pain as possible between us) I will call you on it. Go ahead and post it. Be transparent. Let everybody see how you conduct yourself. Post it exactly how you sent it.

    Quote shellebelle wrote: View Post
    I am not sure yet I want to fully disclose the words I shared with her at this time Ö
    Nowís the time. Take your best shot. Have your day in the spotlight. Let all that puss spill out. I have nothing to fear, even though I have my flaws.

    Iíll reply and Iíll allow you another reply and then you are out of here.

    Iíll turn the tables on you. I will construe anything short of one of these actions:
    - posting exactly what you sent to Linda in full
    - a full public apology
    - leaving WaccoBB.net on your own accord

    Öas your permission for me to post what you sent to Linda.
    Last edited by Barry; 05-30-2009 at 12:11 AM.

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  26. TopTop #26
    "Mad" Miles
     

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    Barry, Mrs. Wacco, Everybody,

    I was gobsmacked when I read Shellebelle's post describing your: relationship, locations of where you live, and speculating as to motivations for screen names and the personal dynamic between you.

    It is such an incredible violation of any community's standards. It's gossip and slander. And it goes without saying that it was a complete violation of waccobb.net guidelines.

    The context of prior posts to which she was responding made it clear that she was motivated by spite and malice.

    I was waiting at least twenty-four hours to say what I thought, and to give room for others to reply first (in spite of my active role on this board, I try not to use up all of the oxygen in the room, even if to some it may appear that I do).

    Since you have now so appropriately replied, I've chosen not to wait any longer to weigh in.

    I can't imagine what motivated Shellebelle to do this. Other than the motivations I've already given.

    A couple of hours ago I checked both Barry and Mrs. Wacco's user profiles to see what they/you had chosen to reveal about them/yourselves. I noted that none of what Shellebelle was regurgitating was to found in those profiles.

    I read this board regularly and thoroughly. Prior to her post, all I knew about your relationship was that it was affectionate, passionate and happy. No real personal details.

    To blurt out what she has, was such a violation that I was shocked, and it takes a lot to shock me.

    I choose to be circumspect about my own personal habits and relationships when I post anywhere online. I know some of you may be laughing at that statement. But how many have noticed my lack of participation in discussions of sexuality, relationships and recreational activities of a potentially criminal nature?

    I may wear my heart on my sleeve about world events, politics and human rights, but I keep what I do with friends and family private. This is not because I'm a prude, or feel any guilt. It's because that stuff is nobody else's business, other than those directly involved.

    To start sharing the personal details of someone's life, without paramount necessary reasons of harm prevention or reduction, and without their permission? Uh, in some societies that would result in the harshest of sanctions. I'll leave speculation as to what I'm referring to, to you, the reader.

    If Shellebelle felt compelled to correct the assumption that Barry and Linda are married, all she had to write was, "they're not married." That would have been pushy and none of her business, but it wouldn't have constituted the total, blatant and unforgivable violation of privacy that was her actual post.

    Won't miss her, at all,

    "Mad" Miles

    Last edited by "Mad" Miles; 05-29-2009 at 08:58 PM.
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  27. TopTop #27
    nurturetruth's Avatar
    nurturetruth
    Co-observing

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    I ducked back in. Is it safe?

    In truth, if I were a newcomer, this particular thread would be just enough to turn me off from waccobb. No Joke!

    From going back and re-reading this thread, one thing remains clear to me..

    the need to respect and be respected has not been met.

    I will offer the role of the mirror here:

    I note a previous thread started by Barry.
    https://www.waccobb.net/forums/wacco...conscious.html

    "are we present? (not in our head, reliving some past childhood trauma, projecting fears or dreams)

    are we witnessing?

    "Cultivating an awareness that is separate from ego . An experience where we can just observe exactly "what is".

    are we speaking our truth respectfully?
    "saying 'what is' and being authentic while honoring everybody and their truths, even if we disagree" (and could we do this perhaps without blame/judgment? ~ which there is ALOT of that going on ehre in my perception from where i am observing/witnessing. Perhaps i am the one passing a judgment or evaluation?)

    Open hearted / undefended

    are we being emotionally available and compassionate while not easily going into a defensive/resistive posture?"

    I enjoyed Diablo's response of : "If we ALL were practicing what we were preaching, there wouldn't be a need to control others....."


    May I also add, that I love practicing!?!?


    As Barry once stated, "it's more difficult to be open and compassionate."

    Oreokid stated previously in here about the wonderful world of Wacco:

    "The only rule Iíve noticed is one common to all civilized society:
    play nice, show respect to everyone.
    "




    I can only imagine that early on in this thread, 'being respectful' and creating a respectful environment in which to 'play in ' was a BIG need for many.
    I reflect :
    Was the need for respect met from the get go ?
    At what point did the thread feel like it shifted gears?
    Can we imagine "tone" in our typed out words?
    no, but one can imagine or even feel /sense energy behind the words.

    It is in my opinion/observation that though the need for respect and respectful environment was acknowledged .... that this thread early on (around 3 days ago) got side tracked and before we knew it... defenses and ego's were up and going. no blame here ..just observing.

    the questions i ponder on:

    Are we aware and conscious of our ego self and when we go into it ?
    Can we identify when we are in 'reaction' mode versus 'responsive' mode and conscious of it?
    I am aware that my whole body feels different when I find myself responding versus being reactive.

    i went to a friends bbq party recently.
    I felt and observed myself mainly in reactive - ego mode.
    I look forward to bringing more of myself into community.
    Thus, a richer experience is possible with my relations in my community!

    Keep it 'safe' u cowboys/cowgirls!

    (whatever 'safe' means to you!)




    Quote LUCKY wrote: View Post
    I'm sorry to hear about all this infighting, and even more sorry to see all the anger that is oozing out from underneath all those PC posts.
    Last edited by nurturetruth; 05-30-2009 at 02:38 PM.
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  28. TopTop #28
    ChristineL
     

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    I don't understand the need to disparage Linda and Barry's relationship. I've known married couples who live apart, some who have had cerenomies without benefit of a government marriage certificate, and other variations that may not meet your criteria for being married.

    "Their joined presence could be greater" What the heck does that mean? I found your judgements regarding their relationship offensive and a bit cruel.


    Quote shellebelle wrote: View Post
    Hi Lucky, I see you are new; welcome to our conscious and progressive jungle.

    I do hope you get a chance to know Barry as well as the other wonderful people of Wacco and create your own personal definition of wacco. I'd suggest the next Wacco event but I don't think there has been anything since prior to the elections.

    I do think you have some misinformation.

    To the best of my knowledge Linda and Barry aren't married. She has just taken on the moniker {Self projection (and maybe some expectations with attachments she has for their relationship) versus self reflection, truth and transparency. It happens to us all.}. They were engaged a few months ago; I believe (I think it was announced here); after 5 years of dating and they plan a wedding in another 5; again from what I hear.

    They do not live together either last I knew. Linda lives and works in Marin. And Barry lives and works in Sebastopol though he seemingly has the ability to travel a bit since he's a bit more virtual. I do sporadically see them around town but their joined presence could be greater; I am so butterflying I easily miss things that don't sparkle.

    And I did respond to Linda privately. Obviously she does not feel a need to withdraw her inimical words.

    I am not sure yet I want to fully disclose the words I shared with her at this time but I will share this:

    We did in essence find agreement

    Note:

    Linda spoke of aspiration Quote:
    In case you don't understand the concept, Ms Terry is banned because she/he DOES NOT reflect what Wacco is and what Barry aspires it to be.

    thus Linda admitted that Ms Terry is an accurate reflection, criticism, view, consideration, contemplation, censure, study, thinking, and indeed ruminate of Barry.

    ~~~~~

    Lucky again welcome. We are an oddball assortment it's true and we fight like family so we must actually care.

    ~~~~~
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  29. TopTop #29

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    Oh lordy..... My fears of posting on waccobb are all coming back to me now.

    I feel bad for you Barry. Youre really smart and you have a really great idea with waccobb and all, but I can't help but think that this "conscious community" will never work. It seems to me, that the people who participate here think of themselves as "conscious" but are in fact, just as mentally conditioned as everyone else, and damn stubborn I might add.

    If waccobb is ever going to run smoothly, people need to get off their high horses and admit that they dont know everything! If everyone were to know that in fact, they cant possibly know everything, then we could have an actual intelligent, logical discussion. I think thats what "conscious" means, so stop being so unconscious everybody!!!!!

    Thanks.
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  30. TopTop #30

    Re: Keeping WaccoBB.net safe

    Quote someguy wrote: View Post
    Oh lordy..... My fears of posting on waccobb are all coming back to me now.

    I feel bad for you Barry. Youre really smart and you have a really great idea with waccobb and all, but I can't help but think that this "conscious community" will never work. It seems to me, that the people who participate here think of themselves as "conscious" but are in fact, just as mentally conditioned as everyone else, and damn stubborn I might add.

    If waccobb is ever going to run smoothly, people need to get off their high horses and admit that they dont know everything! If everyone were to know that in fact, they cant possibly know everything, then we could have an actual intelligent, logical discussion. I think thats what "conscious" means, so stop being so unconscious everybody!!!!!

    Thanks.
    What are you giving me gratitude for MsTerry? That post is as much directed towards you as anyone else on this website. You are the most stubborn, disrespectful, divisive person on this website. You have ill intentions and clearly enjoy hurting others. People like you, need to really read what I just wrote and actually understand it, rather than just giving gratitude.

    Absolutamente loquisimo.
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