Father William in the 21st Century

[sd gross]

FATHER WILLIAM in the 21st Century
By Stephen D. Gross
(with apologies to no one)


"You are old Father William," the young man said
"and your hair's not your hair but a rug"
"And yet you pursue the fair maids in yon school
could it be that you're stoned on some drug?"

"When I was quite young I kept well-honed my tool
there was much work in hand to be done
"And I kept it well oiled late at night whilst I toiled
and my labors ne'er ceased to be fun."

"You are old, Father William," the young man sneered,
"You're obese and you can't see your shoes
"Yet you swear with face red, "Tis a glutton I'm not"
"And you bade us to please blame the Jews"

"In the heat of my youth", Father William avered,
"Hot fudge sundaes would put me at peace
"Fat back bacon, goat stew, anything that could moo
and old doughnuts well coated with grease"

"You are deaf, Father William," the young man belched
"and you haven't a clue what I've said
"Yet you rest on your knees gumming rice and strained peas
and worshipping the Grateful Dead"

"You've asked me three questions", Father William replied
"And you still haven't got to the point
"You drank all my beer and I see no girls here,
Is it not time to light up that joint?"

[WhirledWords]

Brilliant. Funny. And, "Ouch!"

[Leafstorm]

Stephen, I loved your modern version of the Lewis Carroll poem, itself a send-up of a poem by Southey. I can't wait to see what you do with "The Walrus and the Carpenter" or "Jabberwocky".
Leafstorm