VENTology Space!!! LET it OUT!!! VENT TILL YOUR CONTENT

[mykil]

I decided to take a little ride last night into Sebastopol via Forestville. Was really thirsty and had the munchies something really bad. Was a little late, too late for my little one horse town to get any healthy snacks that I was craving.
Down the hill toward Sebastopol I go. Went I catch a glimpse of something white dart across the yellow line from the left and right in front of me. I was doing the speed limit luckily, 45 in a 45 who would have figured. Right in front of me is a guy on a bike dressed only in shorts waving his hands in the air. What the fuck are you doing right here in front of my truck when I am driving down the road? I slam on my brakes veer left over the double yellow, I didn’t think I missed him at first I thought he was dead. The only thought that ran through my brain was the oncoming traffic I was seeing bearing down on me really fast. Skidding to a stop and realizing by some miracle I missed the guy I floor it and get out of harms way as far off the curb as I can. For that split second in time I was really mad! The cars coming toward me start honking there horns at me, yes I know I am not suppose to be here on the wrong side of the road with my lights shining on you while you are driving toward me.

I wanted to get out and kick his fucking assss. The only thing I could think of was to call 911 and report a drunk trying to commit suicide. I thought again and just drove by; the only thought at this point was I hope he makes it home. I was really draw between making the call and just hoping he made it home safe all the while hoping not to see the little red lights flying by. Knowing if I did I couldn’t live with myself knowing I could have saved his life, what a fucking nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[AquaGyrl]

Hey Mykil! 1st., I've never known you to drive the speed limit or less. 2nd...You almost called 911? Wouldn't you have been breaking your own "Never call 911" rule? I thought your rule was 1) never call 911 if you can rationalize or negotiate or 2) if rationalizing/negotiating doesn't work brandish your gun or your dick.



luv ya

I decided to take a little ride last night into Sebastopol via Forestville. Was really thirsty and had the munchies something really bad. Was a little late, too late for my little one horse town to get any healthy snacks that I was craving.
Down the hill toward Sebastopol I go. Went I catch a glimpse of something white dart across the yellow line from the left and right in front of me. I was doing the speed limit luckily, 45 in a 45 who would have figured. Right in front of me is a guy on a bike dressed only in shorts waving his hands in the air. What the fuck are you doing right here in front of my truck when I am driving down the road? I slam on my brakes veer left over the double yellow, I didn’t think I missed him at first I thought he was dead. The only thought that ran through my brain was the oncoming traffic I was seeing bearing down on me really fast. Skidding to a stop and realizing by some miracle I missed the guy I floor it and get out of harms way as far off the curb as I can. For that split second in time I was really mad! The cars coming toward me start honking there horns at me, yes I know I am not suppose to be here on the wrong side of the road with my lights shining on you while you are driving toward me.

I wanted to get out and kick his fucking assss. The only thing I could think of was to call 911 and report a drunk trying to commit suicide. I thought again and just drove by; the only thought at this point was I hope he makes it home. I was really draw between making the call and just hoping he made it home safe all the while hoping not to see the little red lights flying by. Knowing if I did I couldn’t live with myself knowing I could have saved his life, what a fucking nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ThePhiant]

what's going on here????
someone funnier than Mykil????????????????
LMFAO

Hey Mykil! 1st., I've never known you to drive the speed limit or less. 2nd...You almost called 911? Wouldn't you have been breaking your own "Never call 911" rule? I thought your rule was 1) never call 911 if you can rationalize or negotiate or 2) if rationalizing/negotiating doesn't work brandish your gun or your dick.



luv ya

[mykil]

Oh Wow you did that publicly Water Baby; Yes I for one would rather get shot in a dark alley, or get cut up by the chain saw massacre than to call the local or any law enforcement agency, this is true. I also know it is strange that I was really driving the speed limit but…. Someone was watching over than poor fool, I have never been that close to checking someone out of this world.

Another vent for the day is….


Last night at poker, I was up about seven; we play no limit holdem every Thursday night. I alwayz win an average of three, I never lose!!!! Well ...except maybe when everyone at the table goes all in on the last hand and there is a huge pot on gold at the end of the fucking rainbow, if I can find it. The chip leader is only about a hundred ahead of me. He calls everyone else’s hand that I know I have beat. The guy behind him goes all in, the pot is fucking huge at this point coming up on 1000. I try to scare Mark out by going all in out of turn. Queen Ace Nine show up on the board. Mark is thinking, thinking, thinking, I almost have his scared I have a pair of Queens and I think mark has the ace. Everyone else I know I have beat cause they are just scared shitless and they were just trying to scare everyone else out. Justin whom I just loaned two too folds. Lucky for me in the long run as it turns out. I continue to go all in and it takes Mark about five minutes to call me. Mark plays poker for a living and is exceptionally good. He plays in the tournaments around the state and makes a fucking living playing poker! At this point There really is, it comes to be known soon, 1314 dollars in this pot. Fucking Mark turns up Ace Fucking King. I turn up Queen Jack and everyone else is lower than me, Mike with Queen Eight in third . I am thinking oh fucking well and that is just the way it went. A pair of fucking aces wins a thirteen hundred dollar pot! Fuck you MARK AND THE FUCKING HORSE YOU RODE IN ON!!!! I am going to get this guy soon or latter. It’s just a matter of time. I am just letting him get a little ahead to give his a since of…. My only salvation was Justin was the only one that stayed out of the pot, there were six all in, and he still had enough to pay me back, so I still was up a hundred!!!!!

I am going to stop loaning him money too!!! I give him two hundred, on the first pot I get a pair of pocket queens, he goes all in with my two hundred, I say hell I am getting this back fast, I call, he turns up pocket aces and takes me DOWN!!!! LOL!!! Such is life!!! Live and learn and play some more!!!

[AquaGyrl]

You called me whaaaa? Water Baby?

Geeze spanking boy, while at your shop yesterday I noticed that Saint Peter (or is that a new lifesize prototype of the "Spanking Mykil Action Figure"?) had more than one chip on his shoulder. Next time I'm around I'll bring my bondage gear - looks as if you both need help working out your kinks.

LMAO!

Oh Wow you did that publicly Water Baby; Yes I for one would rather get shot in a dark alley, or get cut up by the chain saw massacre than to call the local or any law enforcement agency, this is true. I also know it is strange that I was really driving the speed limit but…. Someone was watching over than poor fool, I have never been that close to checking someone out of this world.

Another vent for the day is….


Last night at poker, I was up about seven; we play no limit holdem every Thursday night. I alwayz win an average of three, I never lose!!!! Well ...except maybe when everyone at the table goes all in on the last hand and there is a huge pot on gold at the end of the fucking rainbow, if I can find it. The chip leader is only about a hundred ahead of me. He calls everyone else’s hand that I know I have beat. The guy behind him goes all in, the pot is fucking huge at this point coming up on 1000. I try to scare Mark out by going all in out of turn. Queen Ace Nine show up on the board. Mark is thinking, thinking, thinking, I almost have his scared I have a pair of Queens and I think mark has the ace. Everyone else I know I have beat cause they are just scared shitless and they were just trying to scare everyone else out. Justin whom I just loaned two too folds. Lucky for me in the long run as it turns out. I continue to go all in and it takes Mark about five minutes to call me. Mark plays poker for a living and is exceptionally good. He plays in the tournaments around the state and makes a fucking living playing poker! At this point There really is, it comes to be known soon, 1314 dollars in this pot. Fucking Mark turns up Ace Fucking King. I turn up Queen Jack and everyone else is lower than me, Mike with Queen Eight in third . I am thinking oh fucking well and that is just the way it went. A pair of fucking aces wins a thirteen hundred dollar pot! Fuck you MARK AND THE FUCKING HORSE YOU RODE IN ON!!!! I am going to get this guy soon or latter. It’s just a matter of time. I am just letting him get a little ahead to give his a since of…. My only salvation was Justin was the only one that stayed out of the pot, there were six all in, and he still had enough to pay me back, so I still was up a hundred!!!!!

I am going to stop loaning him money too!!! I give him two hundred, on the first pot I get a pair of pocket queens, he goes all in with my two hundred, I say hell I am getting this back fast, I call, he turns up pocket aces and takes me DOWN!!!! LOL!!! Such is life!!! Live and learn and play some more!!!

[mykil]

He Water Baby; you know I love you and that sweeettt assssss, but your scaring the hell out of me with that whip darling. I am not sure I can hang knowing I might wake tied to the bed while you are in San Francisco having a mocha latte'. Wondering if you forgot about me, or you are just warming me up for some latter role playing fantasy that I am just a finger puppet and love slave with welts and bite marks everywhere! Hmmmm god your adorable though!!!!!!!

You called me whaaaa? Water Baby?

Geeze spanking boy, while at your shop yesterday I noticed that Saint Peter (or is that a new lifesize prototype of the "Spanking Mykil Action Figure"?) had more than one chip on his shoulder. Next time I'm around I'll bring my bondage gear - looks as if you both need help working out your kinks.

LMAO!

[mykil]

Wow; took a couple of friends to see summer of love 07’ what a show! Besides the parking, which I happened to find a place in the park BTW, the show was magnificent. Everybody and there brother performed a few songs on stage. This was a little annoying, only three songs per, but without a doubt will worth the effort that was entailed.

I took a few people that I had just met, one four dayz earlier, and her friend that I met that day. Bonding to a new level you say? Yes! We won’t go any further than that! I lost them about ten minutes after we set our stuff out on our little blanket and decided to walk around. Our landmark was taken from us, the little tent the old folks put up was a little warm for them and they split. I found one after the show and we waited for about an hour for the other to show up at the truck. I get a call from my friend J that was down with some other people and she was lost. I tell her not to worry I wouldn’t leave the city without making sure she was ok. She has walked in the wrong direction for about ten blocks and has a blister on her little foot,. Poor thing! After sending the friend back into finding her friend we are off to save J. The friend was so grateful we found her; she has been left in the city after getting lost before. She told me all about this on the way down, so I was pretty sure I would have to stay all night and find the poor little thing if she didn’t show up! J is sitting on the corner on the wrong side of the park wondering where the hell she is. So off we go to try to reunite here with her friends. Doesn’t work, they left her there. Oh well! Three lovely ladies in the truck for the ride home! MMMMMMM!!! Don’t try this at home!!!!!

J just happened to mention to me this lovely morning that she lost her friend in the city. I was up to see her this morning and she brought home a stray to help around the house, and asked if he wanted to go, now she has his little dog, all his cloths and worldly possessions and pretty much eve3rything he owns. She doesn’t know his last name, he doesn’t know hers. He’s not from around here and doesn’t know San Fran. what so ever. Really doesn’t know how to get back to Sebastopol I am sure. LMAO! Poor dude!!!! If any one spots a guy wondering around Sonoma county with a dazed look on his face named Brad please let me know and I will hook him up with J!

WE did have a wonderful time and for once I was just so mellow in the city by the bay. I really don’t go down yonder much for some phobias I acquired as a child, but all in all, I was just having the best time of all, and everyone was wearing the same kind of clothing I wear everyday! Imagine that!!! I was just glad that a few younger people decided to go, the eye candy wonderful.They say 100000 attended.

[AquaGyrl]

Hey spanking boy, I thought we'd already discussed this... 1) in your dreams. 2) you'd have to beg. 3) If I'm warming you up for anything it's for your role as a finger puppet inside the theater of Clancy's uncircumcised sock (see ThePhiant's post on "why isn't dog fighting OK, too?").

Yours with love.
Water baby

He Water Baby; you know I love you and that sweeettt assssss, but your scaring the hell out of me with that whip darling. I am not sure I can hang knowing I might wake tied to the bed while you are in San Francisco having a mocha latte'. Wondering if you forgot about me, or you are just warming me up for some latter role playing fantasy that I am just a finger puppet and love slave with welts and bite marks everywhere! Hmmmm god your adorable though!!!!!!!

[mykil]

I went to sleep last night in my tent by the river, I sleep on a really nice piece of property down by the river a friend owns that we use it all summer long as our hang out. We party and just camp out most summers. This summer I took up permanent residence cause I am a man without a home. All the homes I have been trying to buy have fell short of my expectations and I have backed out as fast as I have jumped into them. Another story completely.

For the past several weeks a little bob cat has been hanging around making all sorts of racket all night long, the first time I heard the little bitch she was mad my truck was parked in her way, she ran right into it and got all upset, I was in my tent laughing so hard when I heard the big THUMP. It was way too funny not to laugh, she heard me laughing and really got upset. Almost every night since she lets me know she is about, she is used to me and has a little den really close to my tent, I can hear her little ones in the night and she yells at them to shut the fuck up all the time. I can’t tell what she thinks of me besides she is used to me being there and she really is a whiny little twit!

My friend Bobbie whom just happens to have the same birthday as I, that I haven’t even seen in over twenty years is also homeless and living in a tent across the way, A really strange cosmic occurrence in itself, two people with the same exact birthday living in the same place is just a little out there. She is sitting in her car reading when I go to my tent for the night. So on with the story oh yeah there was a story here!

About two in the morning I hear my little neibor whining as usual, she wakes my ass up and I yell at he5r to shut the fuck up, she slowly disappears out of ear shy and goes down by the river to get a drink. I fall back asleep fairly quickly and about an hour later I hear OINK OINK right outside my tent, wakes me up out of a dead sleep, all I can think of is what the fuck was that, I her it rustling around oinking all the ay down to the river. I laugh and think how oddly strange and out of place a little pig is in this area of the river, we are pretty much surrounded by houses well a few hundred feet away and the little pussy cat is odd enough, but a little piglet is way odd, I can tell he is pretty young by the noise he makes figuring he is extremely small. A few years back I would have gotten up and dropped the little succulent and mad ea little midnight snack out of the sucker.

Back off to sleep I dose, I am out like a light, when I hear OINK OINK again, right outside my tent again. I am getting ready to yell at the little fuck when that little kitty pounces on the little pig, talk about a noise I will never forget. That pig was screaming its fucking head off. It was beyond noise. That cat was waiting for it to come back up fro the water. Bobbie who had pasted out in her car starts yelling just as load, MIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS GONG ON, she was screaming, I think it really scared the hell out of her. At this point all I could do was start laughing, the whole scenario was just way out of place. Talk about nature sneaking up on you. I just hope that little kiddy never gets pissed at me. Besides being in a bad mood all the time she can really take a bite out of things.

I am not sure whom I was laughing at more, the cat or Bobbie! Anyway I can’t wait to see Bobbie when I am done working, if she stuck around anymore. Poor thing won’t even sleep down there unless I am there to protect her as it is. She will get in her car and drive to somewhere where there be lights as it is. LMAO!

[Valley Oak]

AquaGyrl, do you also work as a Dominatrix part time on the side or are your services purely on a volunteer basis only?

Just curious,

Edward

You called me whaaaa? Water Baby?

Geeze spanking boy, while at your shop yesterday I noticed that Saint Peter (or is that a new lifesize prototype of the "Spanking Mykil Action Figure"?) had more than one chip on his shoulder. Next time I'm around I'll bring my bondage gear - looks as if you both need help working out your kinks.

LMAO!

[nurturetruth]

You guys (and gals) are SOOOO entertaining!!

got me chucklin'.....

thanks Aquagyrl, roble, mykil and my beloved "TP"



hugs...

[AquaGyrl]

The answers are "no." I used to be heavily involved in the scene in Sonoma County and S.F. But not now - or - only rarely. Recently I've been feeling a little toppy and thought it would be amusing to objectify a 123 year old deconsecrated statue of a saint who has a chip on his shoulder and holds the 'keys to the kingdom.'

AquaGyrl, do you also work as a Dominatrix part time on the side or are your services purely on a volunteer basis only?

Just curious,

Edward

[mykil]

So on with the show;
I went to my favorite place in the whole wide world this weekend [Harbin] and sure enough got to the gate about Two minutes past midnight. The old fat dude that is alwayz there and really hard to get to laugh. [He’s a really cool dude just a little grumpy] Tells me the will be Thirty Five Plus your membership has elapsed. OK no worries, just out of curiosity since I was just here last week, when did it expire? On the 16th. Hmmmm Today is the 15th! No today is the 16th, for the last two minutes! I was laughing really hard, he was just staring at me like shut the fuck up dude. LMAO. Went on in and parked at my favorite place on the top parking lot with my usual mattress in the back with twenty blankets and sleeping bags and all my pillows. I love to be comfortable and all cuddly;). Went to the pools for a few hours. Finally passed out around 3 or so. I woke to a wonderful day and went to get some coffee. Oh you want money? Back to the truck! Hmmm, shower, shave, and hit the pools once again, really meditating in the water beyond what one should do on a little sabbatical.
So I decide to go get a little snack at the snack shack and decide on a luscious little sandwich, the yellow jackets where everywhere, I didn’t think they would swarm so much on a vegetarian delight! I was thinking this could be really a bad deal; the Indians say when there are allot of bees at the end of a year the weather means business. Allot of fucking rain. I was wondering about this for a while, decided to go lay down on the deck. I was laying there on my back just nodding out a little when out the fucking blue, one of those little fucking bastard’s decides to take a bite out of my right nut! I have never had the experience of getting bitten on my balls, even most woman have the common courtesy of staying away for the biting of the balls! I do like it when they lick… I think I must have jumped about three feet in the air; everyone from about 100 feet turned their heads in disbelief as I was jumping up and down holding my balls screaming “YOU LITTLE FUCKING BASTARD” ect… True story, don’t let this happen to you!!! Hold your balls while lying naked on the deck at Harbin just to be safe! LMFAO!!!! I think I may have scared the hell out of the few lovely ladies I just so happened to be laying right in the middle of on the deck. If anyone saw this please excuse my fucking foul language that was extruding from my lips!!!

I really had a good time and it was more funny than painful, I am just glad it was a bite and not a sting, the swelling subsided within the first hour and I don't think I will have any performance issues I hope!

[Valley Oak]

Excellent anecdote! Thank you for sharing. I felt as if I was there experiencing it for myself (without the direct physical pain, however).

Edward

So on with the show;
I went to my favorite place in the whole wide world this weekend [Harbin] and sure enough got to the gate about Two minutes past midnight. The old fat dude that is alwayz there and really hard to get to laugh. [he’s a really cool dude just really grumpy] Tells me the will be Thirty Five Plus your membership has elapsed. OK no worries, just out of curiosity since I was just here last week, when did it expire? On the 16th. Today is the 15th! No today is the 16th, for the last two minutes! I was laughing really load, he just stared at me like shut the fuck up dude. LMAO. Went on in and parked at my favorite place on the top parking lot with my usual mattress in the back with twenty blankets and sleeping bags and all my pillows. I love to be comfortable and all cuddly! Went to the pools for a few hours. Finally passed out around 3 or so. I woke to a wonderful day and went to get some coffee, oh you want money? Back to the truck! Hmmm, shower shave and hit the tubs once again, really meditating in the water beyond what one should do on a little sabbatical.
So I decide to go get a little snack a=t the snack shack and decide on a luscious little sandwich, the yellow jackets where everywhere. I was thinking this could be really a bad deal, the Indians say when there are allot of bees at the end of a year the weather means business. Allot of rain. I was wondering about this for a while, decided to go lay down on the deck. I was laying there on my back just passing out when out the fucking blue one of those little fucking bastered’s decides to take a bite out of my right nut! I have never had the experience of getting bitten on my balls, even most woman have the common courtesy of staying away for the biting of the balls! I think I must have jumped about three feet in the air; everyone from about 100 feet turned their heads in disbelief as I was jumping up and down holding my balls… True story, don’t let this happen to you!!! Hold your balls while lying naked on the deck at Harbin just to be safe! LMFAO!!!! I think I may have scared the hell out of the few lovely ladies I just so happened to be lay right in the middle of on the deck. If anyone saw this please excuse my fucking foul language that was extruding from my lips!!!

I really had a good time and it was more funny than painful, the swelling subsided within the first hour and I don't think I will have any performace issues I hope!