So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!
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Join Date: Apr 9, 2005
Location: Sebastopol, California, United States
Last Online 04-21-2024
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Join Date: Apr 9, 2005
Location: Sebastopol, California, United States
Last Online 04-21-2024
And here's a Rap take on Passover:
https://www.jibjab.com/jokebox/jokeb...2/jokeid/30977
Chag Same'ach!
Last edited by Barry; 03-29-2007 at 10:55 AM.
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Last Online 10-25-2019
Barry, thankyou for these, they sure put a smile on my face and a giggle in my morning. What a great way to start my day!! libertyAnd here's a Rap take on Passover:
https://www.jibjab.com/jokebox/jokeb...2/jokeid/30977
Chag Same'ach!
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Join Date: Jul 13, 2006
Last Online 07-16-2012
Happy Passover Here's a The Two-Minute Haggadah
A Passover service for the impatient.
Opening prayers:
Thanks, God, for creating wine. (Drink wine.)
Thanks for creating produce. (Eat parsley.)
Overview: Once we were slaves in Egypt . Now we're free. That's why we're doing this.
Four questions:
1. What's up with the matzoh?
2. What's the deal with horseradish?
3. What's with the dipping of the herbs?
4. What's this whole slouching at the table business?
Answers:
1. When we left Egypt , we were in a hurry. There was no time for making decent bread.
2. Life was bitter, like horseradish.
3. It's called symbolism.
4. Free people get to slouch.
A funny story: Once, these five rabbis talked all night, then it was morning. (Heat soup now.)
The four kinds of children and how to deal with them:
Wise child—explain Passover.
Simple child—explain Passover slowly.
Silent child—explain Passover loudly.
Wicked child—browbeat in front of the relatives.
Speaking of children: We hid some matzoh. Whoever finds it gets five bucks.
The story of Passover: It's a long time ago. We're slaves in Egypt . Pharaoh is a nightmare. We cry out for help. God brings plagues upon the Egyptians. We escape, bake some matzoh. God parts the Red Sea . We make it through; the Egyptians aren't so lucky. We wander 40 years in the desert, eat manna, get the Torah, wind up in Israel , get a new temple, enjoy several years without being persecuted again. (Let brisket cool now.)
The 10 Plagues: Blood, Frogs, Lice—you name it.
The singing of "Dayenu":
If God had gotten us out of Egypt and not punished our enemies, it would've been enough. If he'd punished our enemies and not parted the Red Sea , if would've been enough.
If he'd parted the Red Sea —(Remove gefilte fish from refrigerator now.)
Eat matzoh. Drink more wine. Slouch.
Thanks again, God, for everything.
SERVE MEAL.
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Join Date: Apr 9, 2005
Location: Sebastopol, California, United States
Last Online 04-21-2024
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Join Date: Jul 13, 2006
Last Online 07-16-2012
NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE FOR THE CURSING IN THIS VIDEO...
https://www.shabot6000.com/sedaclub/
HOPE YOU ARE ENJOYING YOUR MATZAH, SHALOM
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Join Date: Jun 8, 2005
Location: Forestville, California, United States
Last Online 11-05-2012
Ach du Yahweh! Oi Vey!!
Very amusing animations.
And I'm as goyishim as they come.
But back in my High School day, while a Monster Jesus Freak, I did learn the Sh'ma. And after reading "Jews, God and History", along with Leon Uris's works, "Mila 18", "Exodus" and I forget what all, I was briefly a chauvanistic Zionist.
As time moved on, I've tried to develop and take a more balanced view.
But, every culture is cool.
Happy get out of slavery and free party y'all!!!
Miles
Begat by Clarence, begat by Clarence, begat by Clarence, begat by John, begat by .... (Gotta check that family Bible)
Or is it begot?
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Join Date: Jul 13, 2006
Last Online 07-16-2012