Sex for the sake of sex

There is a great line from Tori Amos' song called "Leather": "Look, I'm standing naked before you, don't you want more than my sex?"

How many of us have, at one time or another, felt there was something lacking from a sexual encounter? Perhaps the sex was physically pleasurable but there was a strong sense that it was all just on the surface, that there was potential for something so much deeper. Feeling a void, a longing.

On the flip side, how many of us, in our intimate sexual encounters, have experienced what can only be described as a dance with the Divine? While in the naked embrace of a loved one, we rise up with serpentine movements, transcend our bodies, swim in a sea of energy, love and light, kiss the face of god/dess with head thrown back, and find ourselves with our breath literally taken away...sharing an amazing spiritual experience with the one before us...

In this dance with the divine, there is a mutual play of energy. Two (or more) individuals meet each other - one does not feel the need to press, the other does not feel the need to withdraw - both are sharing in the flow, reading and responding to the other. There is subtlety, respect, love, exchange, play, balance. And there is fulfillment.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this...I guess to say that I've experienced both scenarios (and in between), and find myself not just wanting sex for the sake of the physical experience, not just wanting someone else to want me for sex. I enjoy the deeper experience, the spiritual experience that can accompany it. I love the dance!

Please feel free to share your thoughts.

Okay, here's a few thoughts...

Sex is like hugging or sharing a meal. Sometimes it's awkward, sometimes it's friendly, sometimes funny, silly... often it's gratifying and sometimes it's profoundly connecting.

I like sex, hugging and eating so much (with someone I care about) that I'm happy to have silly, funny and gratifying experiences, I'm tolerant of perfunctory and awkward experiences, and I'm very grateful for the profoundly connecting experiences.

Would I happily give a "hug for the sake of hugging" to someone I care about? You betcha.

Ah! Well said! Thank you for sharing.

The scenario you described sounded wonderful.Could I free myself with casual knowledge of others or would it take a deeper established connection? I actually don't know.I do love discovering new people and new bodies,and yet there's a kind of willingness I feel when the intimacy is already there on other levels.

I find my reflection in each and every individual I run across. I find this in sexual encounters as well. I can only be into one as much as they are into me. I love the dance as well and shall love to spend countless hours romancing, massaging, caressing and just totally lusting after the one before the final connection, if your equal is not into the dance as you are how can you have this dance by yourself and be still totally into the relationship you are about to endear?

When I meet someone in particular I would love to attend every moment in the day making them happy and enlightened I usually have to bring myself down a level or two to drop to their particular expectations and relative holding of the event to be performed. Thus losing my interests and expectations. Truly a waist! I love meeting people that just take my intuition and excitement to new levels and want to not only keep up but have me try and keep up! This is by far way better than hoe hum hey what’s your name again?

I always love giving a hug for the sake of hugging. Hugging is acknowledgment, a greeting, a way of addressing the need for contact without stepping on one's boundaries. Hugging is giving the hugged that needed little or big squeeze everyone needs now and then.

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Posted in reply to the post by pjpete:

I always love giving a hug for the sake of hugging. Hugging is acknowledgment, a greeting, a way of addressing the need for contact without stepping on one's boundaries. Hugging is giving the hugged that needed little or big squeeze everyone needs now and then.

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I agree.I can often communicate how I feel about someone as well as read how they feel about me with a hug.Sometimes it is a simple gift,other times an invitation for more.Physical contact melded with truly being present rewards in many ways. Jason

I also welcome comments, and would love to hear, from anyone who wishes to play the role of "devil's advocate" regarding the original post!

Well, I am glad you asked.
How are you going to have sex for the sake of sex? :hmmm:
You mean to put it on the calender every week?
Or do you see it as a yoga exercise?
A workout maybe?

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Posted in reply to the post by yogatree:

I also welcome comments, and would love to hear, from anyone who wishes to play the role of "devil's advocate" regarding the original post!

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MARRIAGE!!!!! How did this get to marriage, I thought we were talking about sex? You’re losing me here! The icing on the cake is spectacular as long as it does have some sugar and spice no matter how you look at this for sure this goes without saying. As far as taking someone for a test drive why not? Are you chicken? And what is wrong with oral sex BTW? I wouldn’t even conceder dating a woman unless she swallowed for god sakes! Sex can be fun without all the commotions of marriage and the paling and ordinary missionary style our four fathers and mothers were accustom to, Marriage is soooo outdated it really should be abolished and all law concerning it should go right along with this!!! The only reason marriage is still on the books these dayz is for money or security for one party and that is that I myself have and never well be married due to the nature of the outrageousness that has attached itself to a purely uneventful task for dayz gone by. Who in their right mind would? You need to sign a piece of paper to say you are to be with another? Bull!!! All this talk about gay marriage that I am 100 percent for just for the rights of another, yet these folks don’t know what they are getting themselves into!!!!! STOP leave the marriage alone for gawd sakes just turn and walk away you don’t need to sign you life away just to say you belong to another!!! Put a collar and a lock around your neck if need be just leave the frigging government out of it!!! Oh too much probably but I do feel strongly about these affairs.

Sex is as sensual as ever, the lust you can fee land the excitement it can extend to ones soul is as real as life is, the only true thing we have on this earth is love. It is the only thing everyone has in common. There is not one person on this earth that has not felt love, or been affected by love in one way or another. If love is alive then it is truly a=our god!!!!! If love is in our minds that it is truly our god!!!! There is only one thing on this earth that every singe individual has in common and this is truly a gift from our gods. Why fight it the only thing that has stepped in our way has been our own product of labeling each other and putting an ownership and right of way on people. Love has turned us into slaves and this is easy enough to see. Free love if we ever overcome the jealousy and power entity we all see to have should be dealt with and over come. Can you imagine if we were all for free love in this world what we would accomplice? Stop before you answer such a simple question.

If we were all about frère love each and every one of us this is what I see; every problem brought on by STD’s would be cured by now, because it would be the number one priority world wide. We would have not war! We would be way to happy to even being in a bad mode. The ones that were in pain and suffering would be taking care of just by the true nature of love itself, everyone would be living in perfect harmony and everything would be shared. Even planting a garden would be a lustful event. The only time anyone would want to travel would be to see a love in a different neighborhood and that would be just for pure love. There would be no shortage of fuel, no shorting of fresh water, virtually no pollution!!! No factories to make all the stupid stuff we have in our homes. The only thing we would ever wear would be really comfy cloths when for some reason we were not naked lying in a group of people caressing and fondling every each other! All the children in the world would be in a loving nurturing environment raised in a loving family not one being let alone or starving or having to do without anything what so ever! WoW!!!!!! Pure love ecstasy and peace on earth, fuck marriage, fuck ownership fuck jealousy fuck all the power control freaks and let’s just fuck one another!!! HA!!!!

Write on Mykil, write on!

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Posted in reply to the post by mykil:

MARRIAGE!!!!! How did this get to marriage, I thought we were talking about sex?

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Posted in reply to the post by mykil:

MARRIAGE!!!!! How did this get to marriage, I thought we were talking about sex?...

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Wow,I don't know where to begin.Mykil, what you describe is not a society based on love,it's based on sex.Sex with as many people as you can.Love and sex don't necessarily equal one another.Yes there's a lot of stuff based on money and that sucks too.Marriage or not,sex or not,swallowing or not, your choice and that's the point!

Oh and Jason the swallowing part was a joke oh contraceptives via butchs post, do try and keep up eh! HA! Another joke DUDE!

DW ~Thank you for sharing your perspective!

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Posted in reply to the post by dw41552:

I'd love to give a response from a Christian view point. ...

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Perhaps some common ground for us to reflect upon is "God is Love". Not only is this stated in the Bible, it is also communicating to us that god is a state, a way of being.

Love is such an amazingly powerful energy - one that can truly end war, feed those who are hungry and allow for respect of differing opinions. A world where people move from their hearts rather than from fear of differences would be pretty awe-inspiring! And it is within our capabilities to create!

I appreciated what you said, Mykil, "WE are LOVE, LOVE is GOD and GOD is WE." When we remember who we are, when we experience our essence, we experience pure love. It is through love that peace - inner and outer - becomes a reality.

Is not sex an expression of love? Whether it is sharing this love with a person we hardly know during a few hours one glorious afternoon, or sharing this expression of love with the same person for years or decades?

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Posted in reply to the post by mykil:

I am not sure how to say this without hurting your feeling Jason so I am just going to say it! You truly DO NOT know what love is!

Mzt as usual you missed the point completely! I would love nothing more than to be living of a commute growing our own vegetables, only cutting enough wood to house everyone close together, as in living in one or two dwelling as in just being and receiving love from one another Too much love to eat or even grown an artificial creature as food. There for we would never run out of nutrients as we are on the verge of doing now, our oceans would be for pleasure and magnificent adventures instead of filling them full of plastic and ever even throwing a net across the water to catch the little creatures and munching them down. We are cannibals stuck in a hell we have designed for ourselves and no one seems to get this. Love is all around us, WE are love, yet we have boundaries we adhere to and make our own living hell. Sp for all your religious fanatics once again, WE are LOVE, LOVE is GOD, and GOD is WE!

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I couldn't agree more!!!!!

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Posted in reply to the post by yogatree:

There is a great line from Tori Amos' song called "Leather": "Look, I'm standing naked before you, don't you want more than my sex."
...

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Greetings,
I guess I should have read this thread all the way back. All I was replying to was that sex could be much more than just fun & orgasm. It could be incredibly spiritual & Loving in ways beyond our wildest dreams.

But, with that said, Sex in any form is a personal choice. Do what you will as long as it harms none. I believe everyone has the right to pursue their path in their own way.
Blessed be,
VisionHawk Rising

I split off the Christian tangent of this discussion into its own thread: https://www.waccobb.net/forums/consc...html#post87627

Anybody else want to share your thoughts about "sex for the sake of sex"? Surely, there are many of you out there who have had sex with somebody that you were not "in love with" or in any other creative relationship status ("Friends with Benefits", "Fuck Buddies", etc.)

I would share my story from last night but I am afraid everyone might laugh at me...

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Posted in reply to the post by Barry:

I split off the Christian tangent of this discussion into its own thread: https://www.waccobb.net/forums/consc...html#post87627

Anybody else want to share your thoughts about "sex for the sake of sex"? Surely, there are many of you out there who have had sex with somebody that you were not "in love with" or in any other creative relationship status ("Friends with Benefits", "Fuck Buddies", etc.)

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Sure! But all I got out of it was pain and heart ache. Not to mention the C note it usually cost to wine and dine em. And as much as I like sex just as much as the next guy that 30 minutes or so of pleasure was never worth a hundred bucks. That was the old me by the way.

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Posted in reply to the post by mykil:

I would share my story from last night but I am afraid everyone might laugh at me...

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Go on...I could use a laugh!

Hmmm ok it went like this, I meet a wonderful little Mexican woman, she invites me over and we talk, she takes a shower and comes out in a sexy lingerie. I am enthused to say the least. She asks if I like porn, II don’t know what to say I don’t want to say yes and I don’t want to lie either. I say it depends and she sayz the same thing, then she hits play on her DVD and porn comes on and she is all over me, while I am all over her. I start to finger her and then without even thinking I go own on her and make her cum in about a minute. She sayz that was wonderful and now you have to go I need to go out and do something important! I am like what? She sayz I need to leave and I am like I heard you I just don’t know what to say. She sayz she is sorry and to make sure I call her again really soon. I am like what do you want me to call you? I felt soo used in between laughing all the way home! HA!

What's her name?

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Posted in reply to the post by mykil:

Hmmm ok it went like this, I meet a wonderful little Mexican woman, she invites me over and we talk, she takes a shower and comes out in a sexy lingerie. I am enthused to say the least. She asks if I like porn, II don’t know what to say I don’t want to say yes and I don’t want to lie either. I say it depends and she sayz the same thing, then she hits play on her DVD and porn comes on and she is all over me, while I am all over her. I start to finger her and then without even thinking I go own on her and make her cum in about a minute. She sayz that was wonderful and now you have to go I need to go out and do something important! I am like what? She sayz I need to leave and I am like I heard you I just don’t know what to say. She sayz she is sorry and to make sure I call her again really soon. I am like what do you want me to call you? I felt soo used in between laughing all the way home! HA!

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Thank you, Visnhawk!
Yes, this is what I was also offering in the original post.

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Posted in reply to the post by Visnhawk:

Greetings,
I guess I should have read this thread all the way back. All I was replying to was that sex could be much more than just fun & orgasm. It could be incredibly spiritual & Loving in ways beyond our wildest dreams.

But, with that said, Sex in any form is a personal choice. Do what you will as long as it harms none. I believe everyone has the right to pursue their path in their own way.
Blessed be,
VisionHawk Rising

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Posted in reply to the post by MsTerry:

What's her name?

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Nosey MsTerry....If he wanted ALL of us to know her name, I am positive he would have written..
Hmmm ok it went like this, I meet a wonderful little Mexican woman named so and so....

DONCHATHINK?

Well, I think it was Mykil who was doing the nosey-job.
I think he doesn't even know her name!

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Posted in reply to the post by Lorrie:

Nosey MsTerry....If he wanted ALL of us to know her name, I am positive he would have written..
Hmmm ok it went like this, I meet a wonderful little Mexican woman named so and so....

DONCHATHINK?

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I don't think names are necessary for "sex for the sake of sex". "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet", or something like that.
Each to his own!

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Posted in reply to the post by MsTerry:

Well, I think it was Mykil who was doing the nosey-job.
I think he doesn't even know her name!

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LMAO! Although it is a true story that I once dated a woman for over a year and didn’t know her name, I do at this point in time make it a point to get it, even if this is embarrassing to me in any way I still ask. Although I don’t feel regret for not knowing her name, I do believe every event in this lifetime has meaning and truly the lesson it taught me was well worth the effort. IF you haven’t read this story I am sure I posted somewhere it came to a crashing conclusion when she asked me to make a flyer for her sons birthday on my computer, and after it was all finished she states and just put my name and phone number on the bottom of the page. I was dumbfounded and asked her what she wanted me to put, while in return she stated “you don’t know my name do you”? She walked away and I have never seen her since! I only saw this woman once every few weeks due to her hectic schedule and I didn’t get her name because I new her for about six month before I asked her out and never from the get go got it! SO there!

In response to your Question MzT, I have tried and succeeded in forgetting this woman’s name, she was downright mean, rude just wanted to se if she could have her way with me while trying to be hurtful without letting me know she was, not even worth my effort to try to save or move forward towards seeing the light! Although I don’t truly feel this way it is half truth, for I cannot bear pain or hatred towards anyone or thing! I prefer the goddess type, They are much further enlightened tasteful succulent along with the purest intentions towards man/woman kind and I conceder most goddesses a pure delightful treat to our world and would never even want to date another troll again. Remembering her name is not my worry it’s more along the lines of trying to get her taste out of my mouth!!!

Vegetarians are the only way to go how sweet is that meat, what a desired and fantastic treat, not to be confused with how I beat my meat while thinking of sucking on her feet. More on the lines of Ohhhh I have never taste something soooo friggin sweet… every chance I get I just think to myself "how friggin cool is this? this is sooo dam neat"! HA!

I was told by a lover once that there is a big difference between sex and love. I really tried to understand this in several perspectives. Now, say I was being paid for sex . I am sure there would be no love involved , unless it was for money. Say I am enamored with a person and we end up sleeping together and it is O.K., but no "connection". I am sure there could be feelings and friendship involved and maybe even a type of love , but then you meet someone who actually rocks your world , like no other.. Sky Rockets in Flight !! But you do not even really get along with this person.. But when the magic is there it is pure love and bliss.. Several men have said to me that they "fuck" and that is nothing even near love.. I am sure women "fuck" as well . I personally am very sensitive about whom I give my body to. It is not casual or without feeling . That can be to my detriment at times. But I am a lover at heart and when one is in my arms , sex or not , :tinker: there is love involved !

Tinque ~ you bring up an interesting point. Is there a difference between men and women when it comes to having "sex for the sake of sex"? Can women have sex without there being emotional involvement? In other words, is it easier for men to simply "fuck"?

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Posted in reply to the post by Tinque:

I was told by a lover once that there is a big difference between sex and love. I really tried to understand this in several perspectives. Now, say I was being paid for sex . I am sure there would be no love involved , unless it was for money. Say I am enamored with a person and we end up sleeping together and it is O.K., but no "connection". I am sure there could be feelings and friendship involved and maybe even a type of love , but then you meet someone who actually rocks your world , like no other.. Sky Rockets in Flight !! But you do not even really get along with this person.. But when the magic is there it is pure love and bliss.. Several men have said to me that they "fuck" and that is nothing even near love.. I am sure women "fuck" as well . I personally am very sensitive about whom I give my body to. It is not casual or without feeling . That can be to my detriment at times. But I am a lover at heart and when one is in my arms , sex or not , :tinker: there is love involved !

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After reading over some of these posts, I realize how blessed
I am. To be 50 years old and have had a woman that I could
make love or fuck like a demon. We had met when I was 18
and became loves when I was 20. But she had a son my age
and I learned the difference between sex and love with her.
We split up in the early 1990's and have not seen her for
over a decade. Though I was on the phone talking with her
about this very subject, this morning. (Kat lives in Cleveland
Ohio and I am in Sonoma County CA).

There have been very few woman that i have known that I
could have both with. Since I have been alone and out of a
sexual relationship for over a year, she told me that I should
"just go out and get laid already". My psychologist agrees
with her, too.

And it really scares me, when the two of them agree on
an issue like ;

Maslow's Theory Of Basic Needs (for Spiritual Growth)
Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs

If you are interested in the consequences of sexual
absence, you might try a Google search on the terms ;
"Catholic consequences of sexual absence"

Unfortunately, the majority of both men and women have
a large number of "misconceptions' of what love is, in the
first place.

Love is based in trust.
To be valued, trust must be earned and not given freely or
"granted".

The best road map that I ever found was a book titled,
"The Road Less Traveled" by Scott Peck. There is a
chapter about "love", in which he describes it by what it is
not. Giving a number of scenarios and then naming them for
what they are. Including "The Myth Of Romantic Love". And
that it a topic that can be rather difficult to wrap your mind
around, in it's own right.

The one thing I know about love is that it will hurt like hell
and I will still choose to be courageous and try to love in spite
of that.

In truth, courage is not the absence of fear,
but the ability to function regardless of it.
(Ask any Veteran that has been in a war).
And getting a realistic evaluation of your "expectations"
can greatly reduce the "fears" of a relationship. The
before mentioned book can help with that and it is at
your public library. Since it was on a best sellers list
for over a decade, your library should have a copy of it.

The only other real option is cheap and meaningless sex
with out any real affection or compassion. It seems to me
that many people resort to "kinky sex", in their attempts to
side step that "void". Some cultures or groups of such people
call that "Vanilla Sex", (or conventional sex).

In reference, Wikipedia explains "Vanilla Sex" as a description of
what a culture regards as standard or conventional sexual behaviour.
Different cultures, subcultures and individuals have different ideas about
what constitutes this type of sex. Often, it is interpreted as sex which does
not involve such elements as BDSM, kink, or fetish activities.

Then there is the other extreme of "how kinky is too kinky" ?
A topic that would need a forum all it's own.

For myself, the best orgasms that I have ever had, have
equaled the depth of my emotional commitment. Even
so, a "Friend With Benefits" can be preferable to
masturbation. If not, you might need to widen your circle
of friends....... of "discretion".

Of course if you are not in love and do not want to "sleep
around" just to have sex for the sake of sex, there is
another option.

On the other hand (pardon the pun), there is a lot to be
said for the simplicity, safety and the absence of
complications of being alone and handling things yourself.

In reference, here is a link to a "Funny Ass Song" at Youtube,
that seems to fit that topic, rather well :)
The titled "Funny Ass Song" states that it is for girls and
boys and the actual address is:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcFdvf9IZQ8


Maybe the majority of men are "preconditioned" and
"programmed" to prefer "meaningless sex with significant
orgasms" to masturbation. With out the "head trips" or
getting lost in the concept of such an "oxymoron", aa many
woman do ?

Blessings,

The Toxic Reverend
An Environmental Technologist
www.myspace.com/toxicreverend

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Posted in reply to the post by Tinque:

I was told by a lover once that there is a big difference between sex and love. I really tried to understand this in several perspectives. Now, say I was being paid for sex . I am sure there would be no love involved , unless it was for money. Say I am enamored with a person and we end up sleeping together and it is O.K., but no "connection". I am sure there could be feelings and friendship involved and maybe even a type of love , but then you meet someone who actually rocks your world , like no other.. Sky Rockets in Flight !! But you do not even really get along with this person.. But when the magic is there it is pure love and bliss.. Several men have said to me that they "fuck" and that is nothing even near love.. I am sure women "fuck" as well . I personally am very sensitive about whom I give my body to. It is not casual or without feeling . That can be to my detriment at times. But I am a lover at heart and when one is in my arms , sex or not , :tinker: there is love involved !

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The desire to have sex with someone you are not truly in love with, or someone you don't know is called lust, sky rockets in flight or not. There is no such thing as love at first sight, as romantic as that sounds. Those that don't take the time to get to know each other before getting involved in sex and then jump into marriage are the ones who make up the majority of the 55% divorce rate. Believe me if you ever fall in love, you will know the difference between being in love and being in lust. I've been there and it's like the difference between night and day.

God Bless

Greetings Beloveds,
While all of this writing about Conscious Relationship is nice; Living it and talking about it in person is much better-for me!!!!! Everyone has a right to follow their beliefs in their own way. Is Sex better with a Conscious Connection established during it? Of Course it is. Anytime you are connected Energetically with someone, the experience is enhanced. It's like saying orgasms are the end all , be all ,of sex. I imagine that many women hope not, especially with the lack of experience, inquiry, and consciousness that many men bring to the act. Take Sex for Sex sake. What is that? Really Great Sex, Connection, Orgasm, usually starts by learning the partner's needs you're with. That takes Connection on some level- Energetically, than verbally, exploring, questioning more, than infinite possibilities of exploration. How do you do that without connection? Why would you do that without connection?

On another note, If your body is a temple and you truly value you, is not giving yourself to another being an important act? Or is it just, "Oh take me. It's of no real importance" What does that say about us as spirit? As Divine Beings? Giving myself to someone is a gift. Do we value ourselves??? How can we get together to have these conversations in person? I think they're much more powerful in person!

Blessed Be,
VisionHawk

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Posted in reply to the post by dw41552:

The desire to have sex with someone you are not truly in love with, or someone you don't know is called lust, sky rockets in flight or not. There is no such thing as love at first sight, as romantic as that sounds. Those that don't take the time to get to know each other before getting involved in sex and then jump into marriage are the ones who make up the majority of the 55% divorce rate. Believe me if you ever fall in love, you will know the difference between being in love and being in lust. I've been there and it's like the difference between night and day.

God Bless

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OMG you are sooo lost in yourself Butch!!! No such thing as love at frost sight??? Let’s take a very simple example and talk you thru this shall we? If you see your very first child born are you in love at first sight? I can honestly say I don’t truly think you know what love is either. You may think you know what love is but the examples you have given leave me is great doubt! Are you in love with Jesus?

Every woman I have fallen for has been love at first sight, I can see far and have seen our future together and have just known exactly how it would turn out. AS a mater of fact when I met the last woman I fell in love with for the very first time I said out loud, ”oh great now I am in trouble” The guy standing next to me asked what I was talking about and I said “you shall see I just fell in love”! I am still in love and knew it that very moment. I m more afraid for the ones that do not know they are in love from the very beginning, they are the ones that have not got a clue. Although I am not living with this woman and I date others I am still in love and shall alwayz be in lobe with her. I see no reason to even attempt to stop loving another shall only cause pain. Divorce is for people that are stupid to get married in the first place. Why bother getting married? So you can wind up in divorce court and battle your life away with someone you were suppose to be in love with? Do you distrust someone sooo much that you have to marry them in the first place in order to put a leach around their neck? Marriage is for suckers plain and simple and so is the latter part of this, Divorce! Marriage is a sort of ancient ritual that should remain ancient! IF you are married you are married because you are afraid of something and you have severe mental problems in your mind you need to deal with Plain and simple. You are afraid of something! Love has nothing to do with marriage! Love is all around us and to fall in love is a simple task just walk around and you shall find love everywhere!

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Posted in reply to the post by dw41552:

The desire to have sex with someone you are not truly in love with, or someone you don't know is called lust, sky rockets in flight or not. There is no such thing as love at first sight, as romantic as that sounds. Those that don't take the time to get to know each other before getting involved in sex and then jump into marriage are the ones who make up the majority of the 55% divorce rate. Believe me if you ever fall in love, you will know the difference between being in love and being in lust. I've been there and it's like the difference between night and day.

God Bless

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Posted in reply to the post by mykil:

OMG you are sooo lost in yourself Butch!!! No such thing as love at frost sight??? Let’s take a very simple example and talk you thru this shall we? If you see your very first child born are you in love at first sight? I can honestly say I don’t truly think you know what love is either. You may think you know what love is but the examples you have given leave me is great doubt! Are you in love with Jesus?

Every woman I have fallen for has been love at first sight, I can see far and have seen our future together and have just known exactly how it would turn out. AS a mater of fact when I met the last woman I fell in love with for the very first time I said out loud, ”oh great now I am in trouble” The guy standing next to me asked what I was talking about and I said “you shall see I just fell in love”! I am still in love and knew it that very moment. I m more afraid for the ones that do not know they are in love from the very beginning, they are the ones that have not got a clue. Although I am not living with this woman and I date others I am still in love and shall alwayz be in lobe with her. I see no reason to even attempt to stop loving another shall only cause pain. Divorce is for people that are stupid to get married in the first place. Why bother getting married? So you can wind up in divorce court and battle your life away with someone you were suppose to be in love with? Do you distrust someone sooo much that you have to marry them in the first place in order to put a leach around their neck? Marriage is for suckers plain and simple and so is the latter part of this, Divorce! Marriage is a sort of ancient ritual that should remain ancient! IF you are married you are married because you are afraid of something and you have severe mental problems in your mind you need to deal with Plain and simple. You are afraid of something! Love has nothing to do with marriage! Love is all around us and to fall in love is a simple task just walk around and you shall find love everywhere!

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The love for a son or daughter is different from the love of of a spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend. My child is part of me. My love for my child began the minute I knew he/she was growing in my wife's body. That's a given, at least for most of us parents. There are those that would rather kill the child rather than raise him/her or give her/him up for adoption, (Another subject).

The first thing a man or woman notices when a member of the opposite sex causes one to turn for a second look are the physical attributes. This is plain and simply lust and nothing more. The more only comes when you really get to know that person and like what you've learned. Hopefully this will grow into true love. And I know exactly what true love is sir and I will explain it to you. When two people are attracted to each other enough to persue a relationship, and it gets to the point that they put each others needs before their own and expect nothing in return, then are willing to do what's necessary to keep it alive, that's true love and nothing or no one can destroy it especially if God is at the center of the relationsip. Then they are ready for marriage which is an outward showing of the love and commitment they have for each other.

In a sense I agree with you on the marriage thing. I'm not against it. I just believe if a couple aren't absolutely sure they want to spend the rest of their lives together, which keeps the family unit strong and healthy, then they have no business getting married. It is when people jump into marriage to soon or for the wrong reasons that makes it a weak and meaningless union between idiots. And I admit I was one of those idiots, twice. This is why I have been single for 17 years and love my life just as is. I haven't been with a woman in over 15 years, and have no problem with it because I control my body instead of it controling me. My life is a lot less complicated. My biggest worry is getting my 17 year old son through college. Now this does not mean I am opposed to a relationship. What it means is I don't need or depend on someone to make me happy.

God Bless

Hey, Mykil, why don't you just say what you really feel? ; )

Seriously, I do appreciate your directness and honesty.. rock on, man.

btw, more than once, I have sure had the experience of love at first sight, and still love those women. Once I saw a beautiful, rich, slightly older woman riding on a horse, who I thought the odds of me getting together with were slim to none.. but I KNEW we would be together.. and it did come to pass. It's some kind of a soul-to-soul thing.

And I'm kind of cynical about the marriage thing, been there, lost the tee-shirt.. ; / Love at first sight does not necessarily mean all the assumed "fixins".. little house, picket fence, with 2.5 kids, or whatever.. and even when it does, things can change. At least it did for me..

..but the hopeful heart lives on, ever looking for real love, in a world of materialists.

anotherlover,

Scott.

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Posted in reply to the post by mykil:

OMG you are sooo lost in yourself Butch!!! No such thing as love at frost sight??? Let’s take a very simple example and talk you thru this shall we? If you see your very first child born are you in love at first sight? I can honestly say I don’t truly think you know what love is either. You may think you know what love is but the examples you have given leave me is great doubt! Are you in love with Jesus?

Every woman I have fallen for has been love at first sight, I can see far and have seen our future together and have just known exactly how it would turn out. AS a mater of fact when I met the last woman I fell in love with for the very first time I said out loud, ”oh great now I am in trouble” The guy standing next to me asked what I was talking about and I said “you shall see I just fell in love”! I am still in love and knew it that very moment. I m more afraid for the ones that do not know they are in love from the very beginning, they are the ones that have not got a clue. Although I am not living with this woman and I date others I am still in love and shall alwayz be in lobe with her. I see no reason to even attempt to stop loving another shall only cause pain. Divorce is for people that are stupid to get married in the first place. Why bother getting married? So you can wind up in divorce court and battle your life away with someone you were suppose to be in love with? Do you distrust someone sooo much that you have to marry them in the first place in order to put a leach around their neck? Marriage is for suckers plain and simple and so is the latter part of this, Divorce! Marriage is a sort of ancient ritual that should remain ancient! IF you are married you are married because you are afraid of something and you have severe mental problems in your mind you need to deal with Plain and simple. You are afraid of something! Love has nothing to do with marriage! Love is all around us and to fall in love is a simple task just walk around and you shall find love everywhere!

---

I especially like this line, you wrote, Mykil:

"Love is all around us and to fall in love is a simple task just walk around and you shall find love everywhere! "

To be a lover of life is a beautiful thing.

Scott.

Quote:

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Posted in reply to the post by hales:

Hey, Mykil, why don't you just say what you really feel? ; )

Seriously, I do appreciate your directness and honesty.. rock on, man.

btw, more than once, I have sure had the experience of love at first sight, and still love those women. Once I saw a beautiful, rich, slightly older woman riding on a horse, who I thought the odds of me getting together with were slim to none.. but I KNEW we would be together.. and it did come to pass. It's some kind of a soul-to-soul thing.

And I'm kind of cynical about the marriage thing, been there, lost the tee-shirt.. ; / Love at first sight does not necessarily mean all the assumed "fixins".. little house, picket fence, with 2.5 kids, or whatever.. and even when it does, things can change. At least it did for me..

..but the hopeful heart lives on, ever looking for real love, in a world of materialists.

anotherlover,

Scott.

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Yes, we can talk in person ~ how wonderful and powerful would that be to share in such glorious conversation face to face!

I am facilitating a Community Potluck at Ragle Park on May 17th 12 - 3pm. All of you are invited and most welcome! For more info, please click on the link:

Workshops, Events, Rituals - Sebastopol, CA

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Posted in reply to the post by Visnhawk:

Greetings Beloveds,
While all of this writing about Conscious Relationship is nice; Living it and talking about it in person is much better-for me!!!!! Everyone has a right to follow their beliefs in their own way. Is Sex better with a Conscious Connection established during it? Of Course it is. Anytime you are connected Energetically with someone, the experience is enhanced. It's like saying orgasms are the end all , be all ,of sex. I imagine that many women hope not, especially with the lack of experience, inquiry, and consciousness that many men bring to the act. Take Sex for Sex sake. What is that? Really Great Sex, Connection, Orgasm, usually starts by learning the partner's needs you're with. That takes Connection on some level- Energetically, than verbally, exploring, questioning more, than infinite possibilities of exploration. How do you do that without connection? Why would you do that without connection?

On another note, If your body is a temple and you truly value you, is not giving yourself to another being an important act? Or is it just, "Oh take me. It's of no real importance" What does that say about us as spirit? As Divine Beings? Giving myself to someone is a gift. Do we value ourselves??? How can we get together to have these conversations in person? I think they're much more powerful in person!

Blessed Be,
VisionHawk

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Butch; May I be so bold as to ask your age sir?

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Posted in reply to the post by mykil:

Butch; May I be so bold as to ask your age sir?

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A young 57

I think in this day and age I am seeing more of a correlation between religion, alcoholism and drug addiction. They go hand in hand and any one of those numbs the abilities to have real personal growth. Evolution can only be derived from personal growth and if you numb your senses with alcohol, drugs or religion you just stop growing, you will not evolve. Before you go off the handle and tell me now wrong I am let me say I have experience with all three of these addictions and from real personal experience I can see this to be 100 percent accurate. In one mans opinion this goes without saying. In religion just as in alcoholism and drug addiction you cannot and will not be wrong! Your way is the only way and that is that! You ever try and tell a guy he has had too much to drink? Or tell a guy the bible is all wrong when this is what he truly believes to be true? Same reaction totally, it’s an addition just like anything else! If you want to give up on yourself than let it be give in to evolution and sit back and enjoy the rest of the world as it passes you by. Go to church, or go by a twelve pack of cheap beer and pass out on the couch, the results will be the same no matter which you choose. You will wake the next day and start the same routine all over again and have nothing to show for it except a few knew tails or a few knew versus in your head. But then again who am I to knock either?

In my opinion there is only one kind of love, actually only one love period, WE all share this love around us and that is that! Love is alive, love is subject to its own rules, and love is an almighty power and entity. Love is god, love is US, and WE are all love. WE share each and every moment in time with each other as one. Love was here before the bible, love shall be here long after the bible ceases to exist and love shall always be something every person on earth shall share forever. Love is growing right along side each of us and it seems to be ageing well. I for one am ecstatic it has decided to hang out with us and enjoy our company.

AS for the assumptions it easier for one or the other sex to not get too emotional I see no difference. I was going to say it was easier for a man to go from one love to the other, and then I had to remember how I was when I was younger, full of jealousy and really easy to get attached at the drop of a hat. Men and women are one, we are the same, and we have the same needy wants and needs. I think once we get a taste of the real world and evolve we harden our emotions a little over time, well some of us do, and we make progress in being able to see past our own minds to the point we are able to have fun without the need for attachment. People that have only had one or two lovers in their life will not understand this what so ever, But for me I can and well continue to evolve from lover to lover and try my best not to fall head over heels for each and every one of them. When I do let myself grow on one person and take the step to become lovers they are a special part of me for sure, they bypass suspect and truly become part of my immediate family. I have no reservations or concerns for who they are or who they might be at this point. I do my homework well and accept this challenge with only people I would honestly take to my personal space with the abilities to leave them there without fear of what might become of an event like this! There is a lot to overcome and strive for in order to be a lover of mine to begin with, most are not up to the challenge. Emotions can and do run high for most. I compensate well and have no fears of letting someone get close to me once they have showed me they are more than capable of doing so. So for me it is not so much the sex that is important but more along the lines of is this a person I can truly trust to let this close to me, a person with true integrity in their heart and soul that only wants to do good in this world and can they distinguish their own emotions and not be too needy towards me to begin with. If someone wants to move right in and tell me how it is going to be I am sooo not going there. If and when I am to settle for one mate, I shall let it happen but I am my own man and this needs to be up front and in person before anything else shall ever evolve. I love way more than one person right now and have little room for a high strung emotional train wreck that has nothing better to do than make my life a living hell, you know like people that get married! HA! OK daily vent over!

Lovies,
I cannot help myself...I find the below rant no more than a teenage level maturity and shallow, heartless opinions, barely worthy of my time quite frankly.


Im not sure that it serves anyone on any level, Mykil, to tell people what you think of them, and their choices...wiht insults and judgmental critisms of character.

perhaps try inquiry, consider asking questions of those around you who you respect ( ah, maybe theres a hitch there)...try asking happily married people what they are grateful for today, how is their love able to inform me, you, us on the ways of intimate communion.

Thinking that what we know can serve others is a fabulous trap that the ego really loves... clearly our egos can get us by the balls, and brains.


Blessings on this bright, clear Spring day.
Elizabeth M

Quote:

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Posted in reply to the post by mykil:

OMG you are sooo lost in yourself Butch!!! No such thing as love at frost sight??? Let’s take a very simple example and talk you thru this shall we? If you see your very first child born are you in love at first sight? I can honestly say I don’t truly think you know what love is either. You may think you know what love is but the examples you have given leave me is great doubt! Are you in love with Jesus?

Every woman I have fallen for has been love at first sight, I can see far and have seen our future together and have just known exactly how it would turn out. AS a mater of fact when I met the last woman I fell in love with for the very first time I said out loud, ”oh great now I am in trouble” The guy standing next to me asked what I was talking about and I said “you shall see I just fell in love”! I am still in love and knew it that very moment. I m more afraid for the ones that do not know they are in love from the very beginning, they are the ones that have not got a clue. Although I am not living with this woman and I date others I am still in love and shall alwayz be in lobe with her. I see no reason to even attempt to stop loving another shall only cause pain. Divorce is for people that are stupid to get married in the first place. Why bother getting married? So you can wind up in divorce court and battle your life away with someone you were suppose to be in love with? Do you distrust someone sooo much that you have to marry them in the first place in order to put a leach around their neck? Marriage is for suckers plain and simple and so is the latter part of this, Divorce! Marriage is a sort of ancient ritual that should remain ancient! IF you are married you are married because you are afraid of something and you have severe mental problems in your mind you need to deal with Plain and simple. You are afraid of something! Love has nothing to do with marriage! Love is all around us and to fall in love is a simple task just walk around and you shall find love everywhere!

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Please re-read what you just wrote and tell me again how much better you are than me! Gotta love it, Atleast I am open about my quest in finding something a little shallow, I love your enthusiastic approach to life I have to admit thou, Hmm kinda reminds me of…

Thank you for re-reading and editing your post my lady E! Althou I preferred it he way it was, shows you true talent! HA!

ANYONE WANT TO FUCK ? ( Just Kidding):tinker:I am in a Silly mood tonight ...

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Posted in reply to the post by Tinque:

ANYONE WANT TO FUCK ? ( Just Kidding):tinker:I am in a Silly mood tonight ...

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YES! So I did.
yeah! for me!:2cents:

The want to F ? Kinda crass don't ya think? It shows up right under "Kitties for sale". Nice for kids to see. It feels pretty immature for an adult web site....

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Posted in reply to the post by Lorrie:

YES! So I did.
yeah! for me!:2cents:

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Why is sex listed separate from love in Maslow's Hhierarchy of needs ?
It is psych 101.


https://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/...2cbbecc227.png

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Posted in reply to the post by Toxic Reverend:

Why is sex listed separate from love in Maslow's Hhierarchy of needs ?
It is psych 101. ...

---

It's listed both together and separately, as it should be.

-Jeff

No conversation on "Sex for the sake of sex" could be
complete with out considering the "History of sex"

Hhhhmmmmm.......
History does repeat itself. The ways in which
"social perspectives" have been influenced are of
interest.

The History Channel did a series of shows on
"The History of sex" that they have been re-broadcasting.
I was just watching one of the episodes, this evening. I
just watched the episode titled The 20th Century (with Hugh
Hefner from Playboy Magazine being interviewed, too).
The History of Sex _ The History Channel
Episodes
Ancient Civilizations. From Don Juan to Queen Victoria.
The 20th Century. The Eastern World. The Middle Ages.
The above episodes are links posted at
https://www.history.com/episodes.do
Also note Google search terms: "The History of Sex"
Example of search results;

History of Sex and Love: Introduction - Feature - Discovery Channel
Sex hasn't always been painted as an act of sin and corruption.
In fact, pre-Christian religions and civilisations all over the world
saw it as an act of worship and celebration.
https://www.discoverychannel.co.uk/b...tory_sex_love/

FYI:

Free advice on love, romance and nutrition from the porn star

Jacklyn Lick's Experiential Blog
Jacklyn Lick's Experiential Blog


Jacklyn Lick's MySpace Profile is at
Jacklyn Lick (Jacklyn Lick) | MySpace.com

Now you will have to excuse me while I go back to studying
this topic so that I actually have a clue as to what I am talking
about ...

Blessings,


The Toxic Reverend
MySpace.com - Toxic Reverend -
- www.myspace.com/toxicreverend

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Posted in reply to the post by yogatree:

There is a great line from Tori Amos' song called "Leather": "Look, I'm standing naked before you, don't you want more than my sex."

How many of us have, at one time or another, felt there was something lacking from a sexual encounter? Perhaps the sex was physically pleasurable but there was a strong sense that it was all just on the surface, that there was potential for something so much deeper. Feeling a void, a longing.

On the flip side, how many of us, in our intimate sexual encounters, have experienced what can only be described as a dance with the Divine? While in the naked embrace of a loved one, we rise up with serpentine movements, transcend our bodies, swim in a sea of energy, love and light, kiss the face of god/dess with head thrown back, and find ourselves with our breath literally taken away...sharing an amazing spiritual experience with the one before us...

In this dance with the divine, there is a mutual play of energy. Two (or more) individuals meet each other - one does not feel the need to press, the other does not feel the need to withdraw - both are sharing in the flow, reading and responding to the other. There is subtlety, respect, love, exchange, play, balance. And there is fulfillment.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this...I guess to say that I've experienced both scenarios (and in between), and find myself not just wanting sex for the sake of the physical experience, not just wanting someone else to want me for sex. I enjoy the deeper experience, the spiritual experience that can accompany it. I love the dance!

Please feel free to share your thoughts.

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Quote:

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Posted in reply to the post by Toxic Reverend:

Why is sex listed separate from love in Maslow's Hhierarchy of needs ?
It is psych 101.



https://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/...2cbbecc227.png



Because it's something you can live without. Imagine all the senior citizens
who can no longer function physically but stay together because of the love they have for each other. If one of a married couple for one reason or another could no longer funtion sexually and the other could not stay faithful and loyal, that person does not love their spouse, plain and simple. This is why God planned the love to come first, not the sex.

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God Bless

Butch; so basically in your theory on life one can only truly love one other individual yes? Till death do you part? So after you wife passes shall you marry again? It was a simple enough question sir. It is a large feat to immortalize man kind and say what they can and cannot love in the same breath. Your limits are truly inhumane in my humble opinion. I hate to ask but how d o you feel about a man and a man getting married?

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Posted in reply to the post by mykil:

Butch; so basically in your theory on life one can only truly love one other individual yes? Till death do you part? So after you wife passes shall you marry again? It was a simple enough question sir. It is a large feat to immortalize man kind and say what they can and cannot love in the same breath. Your limits are truly inhumane in my humble opinion. I hate to ask but how d o you feel about a man and a man getting married?

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As a spouse, yes. It is not my theory, it is what I believe period. Without going into a long drawn out story I have been in love with only one women, but because of circumstances we cannot be together. We have never had sex. And if I could be married to her right now and we could not enjoy making love, It would not matter to me. I would have no problem spending the rest of our lives together. But like I said, that will never happen. This is not to say I could not fall in love with a different woman who is available. I'm just not looking for anyone, and am not sure I ever will. God has given me a purpose for the rest of my life and that is the path I wish to follow. I've been married twice so I had my chance.

As far as your last question, are you going to respect my answer whether you agree or not? If so I will answer it.

God Bless

Just because I speak my mind does not mean I have no respect! When I read your post I can assume the same from you if I choose, I just know better, I know you feel this way in your heart, I just refuse to agree with your sediments towards life. Respect to the fullest intent allowed by your god and mine is a given if you don’t see this in my writing you are just not trying very hard!!
AS far as you life choice, yes I would be curious to see what exactly makes you tick, without reference to the bible in every line you write so as a simple minded individual as myself can take heart and truly get the jest of what is on your mind and what might make you tick. AS for what you just wrote, I cannot decipher what the hell is going on in your mind. You are not marries to a woman you love? You where marries twice, yet you divorced, so in your own words does this not mean you never loved you first or second wife. If I am following along with you own words this is what it is saying, yes I have been paying attention!
The marriage between two men is important for character reference towards your true mentality, so yes I will hold it against you, just not in the way you see fit in your mind to describe what I have the intent to do with the information. It shall totally give reference to your own true self and how I shall respond to every question I ever answer, also every aspect of any debate that may arouse on this site. For this is what we are doing is it not? A good debate has to be an open book as long as all parties are learning and fully understanding this in itself is the principle we are here for in the first place. Sometimes name calling gets involved and people get a little out of line, but still this is what it is all about! So I may not agree with anything you ever say, but yes I am hoping there is mutual respect throughout our little references community debates and in the hopes we shall never burn a bridge over a little miss communication, meaning someday soon we may actually meet in person at a social event of some sort and shake hands and maybe even hug! Maybe someday even the whole world may decide to respect one another as well.
There on occasion area few people that chime in that I would love to spar with and learn as well. I love to see people get right in and really take a bite out of what is going on, it really is too awful bad most disappear. There truly is room for all opinions and egos here, like I said this is what makes a great debate!

In reply to:

Because it's something you can live without. Imagine all the senior citizens
who can no longer function physically but stay together because of the love
they have for each other. If one of a married couple for one reason or another could no longer funtion sexually and the other could not stay
faithful and loyal, that person does not love their spouse, plain and simple.
This is why God planned the love to come first, not the sex.
____________________

My thoughts on the separate quality of sex and love are in post
#32 (permalink). In which I also allude to Scott Peck's perspective
from his best selling book, "The Road Less Traveled".

FYI: Scott peck was a "hard core Christian" (deceased), and his
book was on the best sellers list for over a decade.

Basically, I had posted Malsow's Theory on the Hhierarchy of
Basic Needs as a question, just to make people think.
This is problematic of itself.

"If" one partner could no longer function sexually, the other
could stay faithful and loyal, in their heart. While allowing,
if not encouraging their partner to have sexual encounters
with others.

If not, that person might not love their spouse. They
could be considered "very selfish", IN SOME CULTURES.

This is the way that some believe. Such as Pagans that celebrate
marriage with a sex orgy. So I just did a Google search and found
A Brief History of Religious Sex

Not that my concepts are so colored with pre-programmed Christian
concepts, but Barry has asked us to leave are concepts of God out
of this discussion. He split off the Christian tangent of this discussion
into its own thread:
Sex and Christians

So if you want to pursue the religious aspects of this, I suggest that
you try it there. And please note that I am not subscribing to either
belief system or even saying what my "beliefs" are. I am only drawing
attention to the variances and saying that it off topic for this thread.

Actually, Malsow's Theory on the Hhierarchy of Basic Needs is
taught as basic psychology 101 in our schools. And it does list sex
separate from love. But I no more want to argue about that than I
do about the origin of mankind.
:(Another oxymoron "man - kind"):

My thoughts on this subject of "Sex for the sake of sex" were posted two
weeks ago in post #32 (permalink).


..........................................................................................

Like Bary posted 4 Weeks Ago in post #18 (permalink)

Quote:
I (Barry) split off the Christian tangent of this discussion into its own thread:
Sex and Christians

Anybody else want to share your thoughts about "sex for the sake of sex"?
Surely, there are many of you out there who have had sex with somebody
that you were not "in love with" or in any other creative relationship status
("Friends with Benefits", " Fuck Buddies", etc.)

End of quote from Barry #18 (permalink)

..............................................................................................

Yes, you are correct: sex and love are listed in different areas of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I love the pyramid, because Maslow's thought process behind it is the base level is our foundation - our survival needs. Without these things, we would not be able to propogate as a species. As these basic needs are met, we move up the pyramid. It is not until we have food in our mouths and water to drink that we can then even think about and meet our needs for safety. When our needs for safety are met, we are able to meet our needs of love/belonging, and so on.

I especially appreciate the top of the pyramid - self-actualization. This pyramid illustration doesn't quite do it justice, but Maslow communicated that self-actualization is the state of living our highest potential as humans.

love and peace,
~K

Quote:

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Posted in reply to the post by Toxic Reverend:

Why is sex listed separate from love in Maslow's Hhierarchy of needs ?
It is psych 101.



https://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/...2cbbecc227.png

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I have intentionally mostly sat back and observed the unfolding of this thread in all its varied and beautiful forms, choosing to engage in posting on a limited basis. I find it interesting how the thread was split into two separate threads, as the conversation began to become heavily weighted on the Christian/religious/spiritual aspect.


Is not my original post a merging of sex and spirituality? The thread started out with the Tori Amos song quote, “…don’t you want more than my sex?” I express my current desire/preference/choice to experience more than the physical act of sex. It is sharing in the beautiful “dance with the Divine” with another person that is most delicious! (and perhaps I will feel differently tomorrow!)


I have been asked what my intention was with the original post. I just felt drawn to voice myself to the community and experience my community’s response. In other words, “I’ll dip my toes in and see how the water feels. “ Who is out there in Sebastopol? How is my community a reflection of me? And I am grateful for each and every one of your comments!


--------------


Back to the thread topic…I was involved in a conversation a couple days ago about dolphins. Dolphins are one of the only other species on the planet that have sex for the simple pleasure of sex. And that is beautiful!!!


I was raised a very fundamentalist Christian, and I recall an illustration: I was told that two people in a relationship are like two strands of rope. When God is in the relationship, there are three strands, which makes the rope, the connection, that much stronger. I no longer identify as Christian, but I can appreciate the message. When there is a soul identification, a deep spiritual connection with another, and sex is an expression of love/dance in this type of relationship, how beautiful and amazing is that!


So today I felt drawn to post on this thread. Today has been an emotional and powerful day for me, for I am honoring a huge transition in my life. I am releasing past structures and ways of being in relationship, and honoring the gifts each person/relationship has brought me. From that releasing, I am freeing up the space for a different and new way of relationship to be in my life…one in which the Divine/Self/Love/Light/Spirit/God/One…connection is present, one that is not restricted to the confines of the ego, one that is simply the biggest, purest and most open expression of love.
~K

Quote:
I (Barry) split off the Christian tangent of this discussion into its own thread:
Sex and Christians

Anybody else want to share your thoughts about "sex for the sake of sex"?
Surely, there are many of you out there who have had sex with somebody
that you were not "in love with" or in any other creative relationship status
("Friends with Benefits", " Fuck Buddies", etc.)

End of quote from Barry #18 (permalink)

..............................................................................................

Sorry God is at the head of my life. I try my best to live according to His will, there for I cannot leave Him out of the aswers to the questions I'm asked. I'm not here to to just talk about sex. One of my purposes is to educate people about the many dangers of sex out of God's will especially young people. And besides there wasn't much of a discussion till I brought my Christian view

O.K.... When I read the post written by Mr. Toxic , I felt a bit angry and wanted to respond immediately. I decided to contemplate what I may write and use my words as wisely as one can. I am now responding without for-thought about what I am to write. I was raised strict catholic and was then given the opportunity to be free to choose , with no influence from my parents. I have allowed my son (11) to make his own desisions on what his beliefs are and maybe will be.
My best friend is a Christian , and let me tell you ,we have incredible heated discussions on the whole subject or actually subjects. I was , gratefully raised, with no thought of color , ( I get darn brown myself), or have any judgements toward any sexual preference. I believe that there is good and bad .. I have seen this myself personally. I do not even think to seperate us as people in a matter of color , sexual preference or whatever. I do know that MOST people need guidance and look into what may be available to them . We are all , in my opnion , a bit lost , and with reason . We need to respect each others feeling and beliefs , though I always am open to trying to change ones point of view because I think thier point of view is not the appropriate one ,(in my opinion), but I do respect the fact that we are free to our own opinions and really in my mind how could that ever have not been so . I think we are givien naturally by birth right ALL OF US to express our beliefs and feelings and try as a joint community to work together to make our planet exist. Together we can nurture. Alone we will crumble.. This is of course only my opinion.. and, by the way , I am really in the mood to make passionate love and fuck . I am feeling a bit sad , a bit overworked ( to say the least ) and a bit vulnerable. I know all of you have these moments and we all try to figure out how to feel better.. I am off to my garden .. I will eat some fresh strawberrys , weed a bit , get excited about the new growth of my seedlings . Feel a bit lonely , but at the same time realize that it is rare I have a chance to be completely alone and that it is O.K as well as important. . I will feel the warmth of our sun and enjoy the beauty of the hummingbirds that are surronding me , as well as all the variety of birds indulging in my several bird baths and fountains that my son and I have created.:tinker: I want to acknowledge that no matter if I am making passionate love or becoming a savage beast and being fucked , MY COMPLETE heart and soul are involved and I do not take it lightly. We are all a bit savage and we all have different ways in satisfying those needs. As long as you are not hurting anyone ... Let the show go on .. Love to All ... Tinque

Quote:

---

Posted in reply to the post by Braggi:

If you believe something is "outside of God's will," and you respect this will of God, then I suppose you should act accordingly. However, there are a lot of people who don't agree with you and don't see "God's will" the same way you do.

I think Jesus taught folks like you to turn the other cheek. Another less violent way to read that is to live and let live. Next time you get a chance to vote to support someone else's rights, I hope you consider that.

-Jeff

---

Since the topic of gay sex came up : Prop. 8, the Musical

-Jeff

Synergetic

Energy

Xchange

:bigkiss:

And just to bring this back to sex.

Yes, I have coached and mentored communication challenged individuals to successful relationships.

I have several clients now I am working with to transition to new places of self awareness within their personal sexuality. It is very rewarding coaching people to accept themselves as they are and show them how to move that new found, wonderful, energy to others and create amazing experiences through it. :heart:

There were 15 posts that had to with Mykil and his spelling. I have split them off to new thread in WaccoTalk called https://www.waccobb.net/forums/wacco...s-speling.html

EDIT: I also moved 7 posts that dealt directly with Sex and Christians to that thread.

Let us now return to the subject at hand :):, Sex!

Well now see all of these words are spelled correctly, but I still don't get it.

I guess you have to have been there.

Quote:

---

Posted in reply to the post by RamShiVa:

its kind of a swoon...

when there is no grasping, or as little as possible by either party...but an allowance a falling into and riding the cosmic wave of desire, and allowing it to move and expand, while realizing its fleeting nature, and its ultimate ungraspability, recognizing ourselves & the divine in the other, and remembering that its our conciousness, our mind, and attention, that shapes the experiences, along with our intent, that makes all the difference. To play in the "space of polarity", and ultimately to use polarity, desire and movement, to transcrend the aforementioned...aaahhh, yes, sex, is truly life...yet, each partner must balance the yin/yang energies within themself, in order for the experience to take full flight, as our partner is always a reflection of ourself....

---

Beautifully expressed, RamShiVa! :Yinyangv:

Quote:

---

Posted in reply to the post by RamShiVa:

its kind of a swoon...

when there is no grasping, or as little as possible by either party...but an allowance a falling into and riding the cosmic wave of desire, and allowing it to move and expand, while realizing its fleeting nature, and its ultimate ungraspability, recognizing ourselves & the divine in the other, and remembering that its our conciousness, our mind, and attention, that shapes the experiences, along with our intent, that makes all the difference. To play in the "space of polarity", and ultimately to use polarity, desire and movement, to transcrend the aforementioned...aaahhh, yes, sex, is truly life...yet, each partner must balance the yin/yang energies within themself, in order for the experience to take full flight, as our partner is always a reflection of ourself....

---

Tinque,

It was not my intention to "make you angry". Though I do
admire the way you handle yourself.

I was raised Lutheran in a Catholic neighborhood. The
nuns had told the other kids "not to play with the evil
Lutheran" (me).

There is little doubt that I have my own "baggage", from
that. Still, I knew a man named Frank in Cleveland and was
at his kitchen table while I watched him and his wife fight.
They had a running argument going on and were laughing.

That completely blew my mind. To be at odds, not agreeing
and "having an argument", while laughing.

So I asked about how he did that. He was my sponsor in
an "anonymous fellowship" and I still had to bug him about
it. He said that "he was not a marriage counselor".

But I kept after him. Finally his wife Rita chimed in and I was
told that they "agreed to disagree", had been through counseling
and had studied a book titled "The Road Less Traveled".

I ended up going through two "Exploring the Road Less
Traveled" study groups. (I am rather hard headed and did
not really "get it" on the first round.

Frank and his wife Rita had sponsored about seven such groups,
in Cleveland. I am not aware of any "Exploring the Road Less Traveled"
work groups, in this area. And I had heard that the workbook has
gone out of print.

Frank and Rita are both very hard core Catholics.
Frank passed away a few weeks ago with about forty years of "sobriety".

Our common ground was the anonymous twelve step program.
The steps were taken from Christ's "Sermon on the Mount" and
were at first written as six steps, then changed to twelve. At
some point there was a huge debate about "God" this and "you
had better" that. Today it reads as "God as you understand him".

If you read over what I have written, I have never said what my
believes are. I do not claim to be a Christian, a Pagan, or any other.
I have called attention to the fact that there are other beliefs and
religions.

But you might find it interesting that the "Sermon on the Mount"
is being taught in every language, all over the world. More than that,
all of the anonymous twelve step programs
(including "Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous")
are based on the "Alcoholics Anonymous Twelve Steps".
It was started in the 1930's by two men and has grown to millions,
the world over. And people from every faith are members of these
groups. Including Christians Muslims and Buddhists, to name but a few.

This post is not specific to any particular religious
believes. But this post does attempt to bridge some of the obvious
overlapping instances of sex and spirituality.

Since the tropic is "sex for the sake of sex", I figure
"why re-invent the wheel" ? It should be easier to
hybrid a few of the existing "maps" to this reality.

I bring this "Twelve Step Perspective" into the conversation because
of what the "Big Book".....has to say about sex on pages 68-69 ;

Quote:
We do not want to be the arbiter of anyone's
sex conduct. .......

...

In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal
for our future sex life.
End of quotes from the "Big Book" pages 68-69 are specific to this topic.
The Big Book has a bit more to say about sex , too.

If you want to know what is meant by "in this way", you will
have to read the book, as it does outline the path used by;
"Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous".

The fourth page of the 6th chapter "Into Action" in the "Big Book" talks
about when most us us "begin to have a Spiritual Experience". A
partial quote from page 75 is:

"We may have had certain Spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have
a Spiritual Experience".

End of quote from "Big Book" page 75.

The above quote is in reference to working the Twelve Steps that includes
an inventory of your "sex life". The simple concept is that if you really
want to evaluate some thing, you should at least take a written inventory
of it. Again, the directions are in that book and or (specific to sex and love)
"Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous".

________________________________________________


The following Tribes are a few that I have found after a quick search.
These are presented for YOUR OWN EVALUATION. They are not
meant as any indication of my own sexual belief system.

Some of these have graphic nudity :

There are those that believe sex can be used to achieve a
spiritual experience. Such as with some that are into BDSM.
Though I have been told that I am just "too vanilla" for such a path,
you might want to check out the "Society of Janus",
New to BDSM (Uncensored) or BDSM Newbies if you have
such an inclination.

Then there is TANTRA and **kundalini yoga** , too.

____________________________________

Additional FYI:
Harbin Hot Springs has "Any Twelve Step Meetings"
in their library on Tuesday evenings and Saturdays. Since I have
stopped driving, I have not been there very often over the last couple
of years. But the last I heard, the Tuesday night group still had a free
three hour pass, while the Saturday meeting had their "free pass"
revoked because of the number of people that had abused it. Now
that it is Summer, I might take the bus out or hitch-hike and camp
overnight (about $25 for weekday camping and it might have gone up to
$35 on the weekends). The meetings are about one hour and you have
a couple of hours to get into the water or go to a dance, if you are using
the free three hour pass, rather than camping. The Tuesday
night dances had usually played some really good Club music.

________________________________________________

Now Barry will have to decide if this belongs in this forum, or another.
Maybe he will have make this a dual post ? What I can tell you is that
there are millions of people all over the world that are now using
the "Big Book" to define both their Spirituality and their Sexuality.


"Seek and you shall find" - though you might want to ask yourself
if you have evaluated all of the paths ........

Example of other "sex" Tribes, that might be of interest

Monogamy vs Polyamory

Sacred Sexuality , Sexuality and Spirituality

BDSM and Tantra

Sex 4 the sake of sex Tribes:Too many to list. See their side bar of similar groups at
these two examples.

	The Ethical Sluts

Fluid Relationships


Blessings,

The Toxic Reverend
At MySpace
MySpace.com - Justice Is Homeless - 50 - Male - Sonoma County California, California - www.myspace.com/justiceishomeless
The Toxic Reverend
At the Tribe
Toxic's Profile - tribe.net

Quote:

---

Posted in reply to the post by Tinque:

O.K.... When I read the post written by Mr. Toxic , I felt a bit angry and wanted to respond immediately. I decided to contemplate what I may write and use my words as wisely as one can. I am now responding without for-thought about what I am to write. I was raised strict catholic and was then given the opportunity to be free to choose , with no influence from my parents. I have allowed my son (11) to make his own desisions on what his beliefs are and maybe will be.
My best friend is a Christian , and let me tell you ,we have incredible heated discussions on the whole subject or actually subjects. I was , gratefully raised, with no thought of color , ( I get darn brown myself), or have any judgements toward any sexual preference. I believe that there is good and bad .. I have seen this myself personally. I do not even think to seperate us as people in a matter of color , sexual preference or whatever. I do know that MOST people need guidance and look into what may be available to them . We are all , in my opnion , a bit lost , and with reason . We need to respect each others feeling and beliefs , though I always am open to trying to change ones point of view because I think thier point of view is not the appropriate one ,(in my opinion), but I do respect the fact that we are free to our own opinions and really in my mind how could that ever have not been so . I think we are givien naturally by birth right ALL OF US to express our beliefs and feelings and try as a joint community to work together to make our planet exist. Together we can nurture. Alone we will crumble.. This is of course only my opinion.. and, by the way , I am really in the mood to make passionate love and fuck . I am feeling a bit sad , a bit overworked ( to say the least ) and a bit vulnerable. I know all of you have these moments and we all try to figure out how to feel better.. I am off to my garden .. I will eat some fresh strawberrys , weed a bit , get excited about the new growth of my seedlings . Feel a bit lonely , but at the same time realize that it is rare I have a chance to be completely alone and that it is O.K as well as important. . I will feel the warmth of our sun and enjoy the beauty of the hummingbirds that are surronding me , as well as all the variety of birds indulging in my several bird baths and fountains that my son and I have created.:tinker: I want to acknowledge that no matter if I am making passionate love or becoming a savage beast and being fucked , MY COMPLETE heart and soul are involved and I do not take it lightly. We are all a bit savage and we all have different ways in satisfying those needs. As long as you are not hurting anyone ... Let the show go on .. Love to All ... Tinque

---

Can someone please give some conscious discussion to conscious relationships again please?

Your sexual partners, partners or lack of may very well be a primary focus and deserve much contemplation.

Some conversation to give insight and help make joyful and fulfilling relationships might be nice. Maybe a new thread.

I think a place that some of us go to hopeful gain knowledge, growth and perhaps enlightening conversation should be less full of harsh judgments, narcissism and definitely anyone trying to sell classes or counseling for which they are or more likely not qualified on teaching.

I'm hoping that we all can have relationships that are completely real, honest, loving and enlightened. Obviously the relationship we have with the one or ones (according to your own belief) we have sex with can be the most difficult to handle in a loving, non-selfish, honest etc. way. For one thing emotions seem to get kicked up a notch more in these relationships. We all are emotional creatures. Some of us more than others.

I would love some enlightening reflections from conscious, loving, helpful cyber-friends. Like many people I just went through a rocky one and having a hard time getting a good philosophical view on my emotional exchange of a loved one. Surely other people have words of wisdom and guidance without having to drag us into counseling or classes. Thanks for all sincere souls who wish to help their fellow silly humans for the sake helping only.

I did like Yoga Tree's posting. The "dance with the divine" is a beautiful was to verse the exchange of two people who become more together in this dance than they were separate. These moments are some of are most passionate joy we enjoy in this existence. It is good to talk about. Finding one's own balance in your heart is difficult, helping others with guidance in their own heart, harder still. Yet quite noble. Thanks again for all noble souls.

Quote:

---

Posted in reply to the post by countrygirl:

Can someone please give some conscious discussion to conscious relationships again please? ...

---

Thank you, countrygirl, for attempting to return this conversation to a truly valuable one. I wish I had time to give you a considerable answer but my home duties call. There are people here willing to share with you in serious ways. I just want you to know that.

Will you say more?

-Jeff

Thought this might be relavant.
Mama Mia! Twins Have Two Different Dads | Momlogic

I've got an idea! Let's talk/write in complete sentences, finish our thoughts, and try to make sense to the average person reading these posts?

Example: If I weren't moving across the continent next week, my thoughts on sex for the sake of sex would be: that phrase sounds like you're describing a monogymous hetero couple who "do it" once a week, maybe once every ten days, because one or both are horny---that's what "sex for the sake of sex" brings to my mind, which is depressing, like you're going through the motions. well, I guess those are my thoughts even tho I AM moving across the country :):. Now, can everyone understand what I wrote & meant? We don't have to get all ethereal & theological to discuss sex. just say what you mean in plain English (except for Mykil).
Smiles,
Paula/Vet-To-Pet

Quote:

---

Posted in reply to the post by Braggi:

Thank you, countrygirl, for attempting to return this conversation to a truly valuable one. I wish I had time to give you a considerable answer but my home duties call. There are people here willing to share with you in serious ways. I just want you to know that.

Will you say more?

-Jeff

---

Hi,

I think this is the wrong thread for this and you have the ability to start a thread since you are a member and can post. But hey we can break it off into a new one later.

First define conscious. I keep doing so yet when others do it's not to the dictionary. Funny thing is the dictionary is the agreed upon definition that the universe acknowledges. SO when we misuse and miss define words we create misguided, erroneous experiences that often hurt ourselves.

You seek guidance of how to dance through heartbreak it sounds or how to dance in a relationship?

Well that would lead to me saying; look into self. Look at you and how your self love fueles or depletes the relationship.

You create your experience. What words do you use? How do they feel? What is the words weights? How is your self talk; is it depleting and traumatizing you and thus your relationship or is building it up?

The truth is we can not possibly "guide" you without fully understanding you and your relationship. And placing that on a public forum does not seem growth oriented. Sooooo that leads me to: find a private space with person/people you trust who can provide you a mirror yet hold you through the pain that will surely show itself and the growth while allowing you to explore you without imposing their will onto you. Mourn, cry, get angry and work through the emotions then work on the healing.

And sex for the sake of sex is about connecting to release energy; it is sex; it is enjoying sex just cause; it is a fuck; it may be passionate but it is not in love but it can be. It is not connecting to intertwine and create permanence. And yes sometimes it leads to that intertwining but even once intertwined there are times when you just want a good fuck just cause you do.

And to me fucking just to fuck, sex for the sake of sex, is a PRIMARY part of creating joyful, fulfilling relationships.

Quote:

---

Posted in reply to the post by countrygirl:

Can someone please give some conscious discussion to conscious relationships again please? Your sexual partners, partners or lack of may very well be a primary focus and deserve much contemplation. Some conversation to give insight and help make joyful and fulfilling relationships might be nice. Maybe a new thread. I think a place that some of us go to hopeful gain knowledge, growth and perhaps enlightening conversation should be less full of harsh judgements, narcissism and definitely anyone trying to sell classes or counseling for which they are or more likely not qualified on teaching. I'm hoping that we all can have relationships that are completely real, honest, loving and enlightened. Obviously the relationship we have with the one or ones (accourding to your own belief) we have sex with can be the most difficult to handle in a loving, non-selfish, honest etc. way. For one thing emotions seem to get kicked up a notch more in these relationships. We all are emotional creatures. Some of us more than others. I would love some enlightening reflections from conscious, loving, helpful cyber-friends. Like many people I just went through a rocky one and having a hard time getting a good philosophical view on my emotional exchange of a loved one. Surely other people have words of wisdom and guidence without having to drag us into counseling or classes. Thanks for all sincere souls who wish to help their fellow silly humans for the sake helping only. I did like Yoga Tree's posting. The "dance with the divine" is a beautiful was to verse the exchange of two people who become more together in this dance than they were seperate. These moments are some of are most passionate joy we enjoy in this existence. It is good to talk about. Finding one's own balance in your heart is difficult, helping others with guidence in their own heart, harder still. Yet quite noble. Thanks again for all noble souls.

---

I can see that perspective. It's not mine but I can see it.

I love consensual sex. I prefer it with friends vs random people. I often say I am not casual yet when defined by the dictionary I am casual. I love enjoying occasional spontaneous sex versus premeditated scheduled encounters.

How abut we all just stop the thinking and have consensual joyful sex just cause it's joyful, fun and energizing.

Quote:

---

Posted in reply to the post by Vet-To-Pet:

I've got an idea! Let's talk/write in complete sentences, finish our thoughts, and try to make sense to the average person reading these posts?

Example: If I weren't moving across the continent next week, my thoughts on sex for the sake of sex would be: that phrase sounds like you're describing a monogymous hetero couple who "do it" once a week, maybe once every ten days, because one or both are horny---that's what "sex for the sake of sex" brings to my mind, which is depressing, like you're going through the motions. well, I guess those are my thoughts even tho I AM moving across the country :):. Now, can everyone understand what I wrote & meant? We don't have to get all ethereal & theological to discuss sex. just say what you mean in plain English (except for Mykil).
Smiles,
Paula/Vet-To-Pet

---

I have been really enjoying this crafty lil' thread and the overall conversation . At 1,345 views, the title IS an eye catcher, is it not?!

I dunno bout all u but i hope to be able to bring my all into sex. Whether theological, ethereal,spiritual, physical, magical, emotional...out of head into full body experience and definitely consensual!

Paula, I have to say, I hear u are moving 'over there' ... to the place i started out before I came 'here'.
When I lived "there" , I tried to fit in and I tried everything to be normal and average.
Its been from my experience that those from out 'there' come out 'here' and experience culture shock and hopefully discover who they are outside of what they considered normal.
I have always held the perception that u, paula , were beyond 'average'. (especially with ur love and care of animals.)
I truly hope ur BIG transition of a journey goes smoothly and I trust you will meet plenty of normal people in Birmingham , AL.
Safe Travels!

and now... back to sex for the sake of sex!

Quote:

---

Posted in reply to the post by Vet-To-Pet:

I've got an idea! Let's talk/write in complete sentences, finish our thoughts, and try to make sense to the average person reading these posts?

Example: If I weren't moving across the continent next week, my thoughts on sex for the sake of sex would be: that phrase sounds like you're describing a monogymous hetero couple who "do it" once a week, maybe once every ten days, because one or both are horny---that's what "sex for the sake of sex" brings to my mind, which is depressing, like you're going through the motions. well, I guess those are my thoughts even tho I AM moving across the country :):. Now, can everyone understand what I wrote & meant? We don't have to get all ethereal & theological to discuss sex. just say what you mean in plain English (except for Mykil).
Smiles,
Paula/Vet-To-Pet

---

Quote:>

So we had to get down to causes and conditions.

A business which takes no regular inventory usually goes
broke. Taking commercial inventory is a fact-finding and a
fact-facing process. It is an effort to discover the truth about
the stock-in-trade. One object is to disclose damaged or
unsalable goods, to get rid of them promptly and without
regret. If the owner of the business is to be successful, he
cannot fool himself about values.

We did exactly the same thing with our lives. We took stock
honestly. First, we searched out the flaws in our make-up
which caused our failure. Being convinced that self, manifested
in various ways, was what had defeated us, we considered its
common manifestations.

Resentment is the 'number one' offender. .....

End of excerpts from page 64

There are several parts to the inventory, but I am skipping right
to the "sex inventory" part. Of which I must stress is only a part
of the inventory .....

Page 68: Last paragraph:

Now about sex. Many of us needed an overhauling there. But above
all, we tried to be sensible on this question. It´s so easy to get
way off the track. Here we find human opinions running to extremes-
absurd extremes, perhaps. One set of voices cry that sex is a lust of
our lower nature, a base necessity of procreation.

Page 69:

HOW IT WORKS 69

Then we have the voices who cry for sex and more sex; who
bewail the institution of marriage; who think that most of the
troubles of the race are traceable to sex causes. They think we
do not have enough of it, or that it isn´t the right kind. They
see its significance everywhere. One school would allow man
no flavor for his fare and the other would have us all on a straight
pepper diet. We want to stay out of this controversy. We do not
want to be the arbiter of anyone´s sex conduct. We all have sex
problems. We´d hardly be human if we didn´t. What can we do
about them?

We reviewed our own conduct over the years past. Where had
we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Whom had we hurt?
Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness?
Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead? We
got this all down on paper and looked at it.

In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our
future sex life. We subjected each relation to this test-was it
selfish or not? We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to
live up to them. We remembered always that our sex powers
were God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly
or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed.

Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be willing to grow
toward it. We must be willing to make amends where we have
done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm
in so doing. In other words, we treat sex as we would any other
problem. in meditation, we ask God what we should do about
each specific matter. The right answer will come, if we want it.

God alone can judge our sex situation.

End of excerpts from
Chapter 5
HOW IT WORKS page 69
Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
Free PDF down loads by chapter at
https://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm

The above quotes are a part of the basic "foundation" of
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
There are no dues or fees for membership.
But a basket is usually passed for a one or two dollar
"donation", to pay for the meeting space and such. No
one is turned away or "shamed" for lack of funds.

To find a meeting in your are (such as Sonoma County CA)
Google search terms;
"Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous Sonoma County CA"

Additional quotes:

"If you want good friends, learn how to be a good friend."

"When the bride is ready, the groom will appear"

Quoted from an "Exploring the Road Less Traveled" Study Group.
Of which was also free, with out dues or fees - TR


Blessings,

The Toxic Reverend
https://www.myspace.com/toxicreverend

I think you are personalizing your beliefs and how you tick to how other people tick, and that isn't very sensitive to others feelings. Why would someone want guidance from someone who constantly refers back to their own selves as being some sort of standard when what is ok for you could be completely wrong for others?

I personally always gets emotionally involve with someone I have sexual relations with. If you just want to fuck because you just want a fuck, well that's your own business but you shouldn't project your beliefs onto another as some sort of dharma. That's you. I'm totally not like that, though I do appreciate great primal passion, I always involve myself with the other person. I avoid relations with guys of that mind-set, super bad match, hurtful actually.

I would also like some friendly discussion on relationships, especially the non-platonic ones. I think it's good to talk to each other without lecturing. Everybody has their own heart and they differ in giving and needs.

And well, if your dancing in this dance, you have a partner. It's just not reflecting on yourself. The dance is with another. I am another in the community that would like to talk to the fellow tribe members about all this. Sisters and brothers just trying to get through all this. "We should do the very best that we can, help each other while we're traveling through this land, We shall all be together forever and ever when we make it to the promised land."

Quote:

---

Posted in reply to the post by shellebelle:

Hi,

I think this is the wrong thread for this and you have the ability to start a thread since you are a member and can post. But hey we can break it off into a new one later.

First define conscious. I keep doing so yet when others do it's not to the dictionary. Funny thing is the dictionary is the agreed upon definition that the universe acknowledges. SO when we misuse and miss define words we create misguided, erroneous experiences that often hurt ourselves.

You seek guidance of how to dance through heartbreak it sounds or how to dance in a relationship?

Well that would lead to me saying; look into self. Look at you and how your self love fueles or depletes the relationship.

You create your experience. What words do you use? How do they feel? What is the words weights? How is your self talk; is it depleting and traumatizing you and thus your relationship or is building it up?

The truth is we can not possibly "guide" you without fully understanding you and your relationship. And placing that on a public forum does not seem growth oriented. Sooooo that leads me to: find a private space with person/people you trust who can provide you a mirror yet hold you through the pain that will surely show itself and the growth while allowing you to explore you without imposing their will onto you. Mourn, cry, get angry and work through the emotions then work on the healing.

And sex for the sake of sex is about connecting to release energy; it is sex; it is enjoying sex just cause; it is a fuck; it may be passionate but it is not in love but it can be. It is not connecting to intertwine and create permanence. And yes sometimes it leads to that intertwining but even once intertwined there are times when you just want a good fuck just cause you do.

And to me fucking just to fuck, sex for the sake of sex, is a PRIMARY part of creating joyful, fulfilling relationships.

---

Quote:

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Posted in reply to the post by ripplewindwanders:

... I think there's more joy in sex with the people honestly care about each other and a better sexual relationship is created when it is more than just casual, a actual relationship of some sort. ... Yet Spontaneous is more often with someone you have a relationship with. ...

---

Agreed. I don't usually discuss my relationship details on this forum, but generally speaking, for me the best sex happens with people whose bodies I know well and whose desires I know well. Sure, I can have great sex with a new person, but the really deep lovemaking where the glow lasts for weeks or months is more often with very long term lovers.

I think it's fair to say the potential of a long term relationship is also good juice even to a new relationship.

Yes?

-Jeff

Yes, yes, yes.....yeeeesssss!!! Oops...got carried away there. I agree, is what I meant to say. I've had my share (long ago) of one-night-stands, which were ALL before I got sober (over 20 years ago). I was afraid, when I quit drinking, that I wouldn't be able to: 1) dance freely, or, 2) have sex. I was VERY wrong. Both are much better since I've been "present" for them & really involved with the dance or the experience. "Spontaneous", to me, means to do something without thinking about the end result, which can be okay or even grreat, but not every time.
Smiles,
Vet-To-Pet/Paula

Quote:

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Posted in reply to the post by Braggi:

Agreed. I don't usually discuss my relationship details on this forum, but generally speaking, for me the best sex happens with people whose bodies I know well and whose desires I know well. Sure, I can have great sex with a new person, but the really deep lovemaking where the glow lasts for weeks or months is more often with very long term lovers.

I think it's fair to say the potential of a long term relationship is also good juice even to a new relationship.

Yes?

-Jeff

---

Yes. I believe that the potential of a long term relationship is great juice in a new relationship. A little scary at first but some of that excitement comes from that I think. I do appreciate your candor and completely agree about discussing relationship details. I kind of believe like that old song "Behind closed doors". And of course everyone knows a gentlemen doesn't kiss and talk about it. That can be for intimate conversation with your closest people. I was just hoping to get some mental, emotional support and feedback from my community. Thanks for the good words to contemplate. Words of wisdom, discussion can always be helpful especially when your going through a personal hard time. I can't always talk to ol' friends like I wish and having this forum is helpful. I did finally get to talk to an old friend this week that helped. He had gone through something similar and it was good to find a comrade. What helped this person was thinking about the relationship and realizing that as much as they loved each other, it wasn't a perfect or even really good match. You have to keep on going even through the pain and try to make yourself the best you, you can be. That advice helped me and even though I'm wounded, I'll shall percervere. With a little help from my friends, of course.

Quote:

---

Posted in reply to the post by Braggi:

Agreed. I don't usually discuss my relationship details on this forum, but generally speaking, for me the best sex happens with people whose bodies I know well and whose desires I know well. Sure, I can have great sex with a new person, but the really deep lovemaking where the glow lasts for weeks or months is more often with very long term lovers.

I think it's fair to say the potential of a long term relationship is also good juice even to a new relationship.

Yes?

-Jeff

---

Only primitive organisms have sex for the sake of sex. Human beings, for better or worse, tend to attribute meaning to the act. Even the desire to "just have sex" distinguishes, or attempts to distinguish, the raw act from other understandings of sex, and itself becomes an understanding, attributing a value of some sort.

(apologies if any of this might be redundant, but there's a lot to read through in this thread and - oh look, a chicken!)

While a lot of humans certainly act like more primitive organisms it seems compartmentalization accounts for a lot of it. Anyone who has ever posted a personal ad or maybe used a dating site has probably seen this, if you don't post your picture to start with. You may have a good conversation and find that you share similar meaning on things, etc. But once the pictures exchange, or perhaps something as simple as mention of race then all the sudden the only thing you hear are crickets chirping away.

Oh by the way, the title might be thought of in a "zen" (snicker) kind of way - hell I'll even quote Dogen - "A bird flies like a bird" ... "A fish swims like a fish." So how does human beings f... umm, you know. That's the question though isn't it? It isn't that it isn't intrinsically fulfilling or whatever, but there's a lot in the how. Sex based on shared delusion while spirituality or whatever other highly meaningful thing gets put in another little box just seems to be a little off as in - what's wrong with this picture?

What is that quote from the movie Dogma: Bethany: "Sex is a joke in heaven?" Metatron: "From what I understand it's mostly a joke down here too."

Quote:

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Posted in reply to the post by Dionysos:

Only primitive organisms have sex for the sake of sex. Human beings, for better or worse, tend to attribute meaning to the act. Even the desire to "just have sex" distinguishes, or attempts to distinguish, the raw act from other understandings of sex, and itself becomes an understanding, attributing a value of some sort.

---

Would not meaningless sex with significant orgasms
qualify as "attributing meaning to the act" ?

People that are programmed with shame and guilt
with regard to their sexuality seem to have a problem
with that.

It is as though their "programming" prevents
orgasms and they need a good "brainwashing".

I was living in a commune in 1984 that often had such
topics of conversations. Speaking for myself, this is an
old topic that had been thoroughly addressed by
"The Love Guru"..

A man called, "Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh", was also
called "The Love Guru". He had changed his name to "Osho", before his death. In 1984, he had a commune of about 10,000 people called "Rajneeshpuram", in Oregon.

When you at first arrived there, you were checked for
STD's and given a red bead to wear. Once you were
cleared (about ten days for the test results), you were
given your choice of a blue or a green bead to wear.
Blue, ask me I might. Green, ask me I probably will.
Or you could choose two red beads that meant you
were in a "committed monotonous" or I mean a
"monogamous relationship".


I have more posted about that at a blog titled;

$700 Billion Fraud - ACLU Action Plan against NWO
and videos of Criminal Charges Cheney Bush
(view more)
at
MySpace.com - Toxic Reverend an Environmental Technologist - 50 - Male - Santa Rosa, Sonoma County, California - www.myspace.com/toxicreverend

I had added the "Rajneeshpuram" to the blog to
show how the "Co-Intel Pro" works, as well as exposing
that what is claimed to be the first and largest biological
weapons attack on American's is "propaganda" and
most likely the work of "Co-Intel Pro".

If you want the short version from that "work in progress"
of a blog, try this Youtube video:>

Rise and Fall of Rajneeshpuram
Posted at:
YouTube - Rise and Fall of Rajneeshpuram




Blessings,

The Toxic reverend
www.myspace.com/toxicreverend

WOW!!!! This thread has run all over the place.... From sex to EPA to mykils spelling to sex is just an animal instinct to toxins to rajneesh...

Damn, I've always enjoyed sex whether it was with a partner or just the spur of the moment sport type.

Animal based? Maybe... So what is wrong with that? Maybe we should focus on when, instead of why!!!!!!

Mykil, you spel jest fine.....

What the hel* does criminal charges against Bush/Cheney have to do with Sex for the sake of sex Mr. Toxic Reverand?

Geez..

And so a country song " Don't take the girl " starts out between a father and son going fishing, and that third grade thing of how many were before the chemicals began to flow, and the end of that song when the man would give anything to keep harm from the girl...

So that is good, but if it is because of the " chemicals " what then of the chemicals such as crack cocaine and what that brings to sex and then what of other chemicals not chosen that might be what fills prisons? Is the Prison industry lockstep-ed with the chemical industry?

Quote:

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Posted in reply to the post by mykil:

...I meet a wonderful little Mexican woman, she invites me over and we talk, she takes a shower and comes out in a sexy lingerie. ...then she hits play on her DVD and porn comes on and she is all over me, while I am all over her. I start to finger her and then without even thinking I go down on her and make her cum in about a minute. She sayz that was wonderful and now you have to go I need to go out and do something important! I am like what? She sayz I need to leave and I am like I heard you I just don’t know what to say. She sayz she is sorry and to make sure I call her again really soon. I am like what do you want me to call you? I felt soo used...

---

Mykil, I can understand your disappointment in not being allowed to stick around for awhile and suck this lady into a few more orgasms, but to feel so "used" that you don't want to see her again (as you made clear in a later post in this thread)? Hell, give me her phone number! She can "use" me! There's absolutely nothing I love more than sucking a lady! Silly boy--if you don't appreciate it, pass it over to me!

Quote:

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Posted in reply to the post by Dixon:

Mykil, I can understand your disappointment in not being allowed to stick around for awhile and suck this lady into a few more orgasms, but to feel so "used" that you don't want to see her again (as you made clear in a later post in this thread)? Hell, give me her phone number! She can "use" me! There's absolutely nothing I love more than sucking a lady! Silly boy--if you don't appreciate it, pass it over to me!

---

All of a sudden this thread was brought back to life and appeared in my digest, does any one know why?

Quote:

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Posted in reply to the post by alanora:

All of a sudden this thread was brought back to life and appeared in my digest, does any one know why?

---

This thread was brought back to life because I stumbled upon it for the first time and decided to respond to Mykil's post. It appeared in your digest either because you posted in this thread yourself or because you're subscribed to the Conscious Relationship category.

To respond to the original question: sex for its own sake is just fine and dandy. It's nearly always guaranteed to be better than whatever is on TV. Sex isn't some sinful thing that has to be with someone you're in love with or married to or monogamous with in order to be justified or redeemed. Having said that, I've found it's generally more fulfilling the more you love the person--at least until one or both partners start to get tired of the other. Also, plain old horny sex tends to be bonding. Some call it the Pleasure Bond. I always feel closer to someone after having sex with her. I still have tender feelings for women I had sex with just once, decades ago. The two great loves of my life started as "casual" sexual relationships (though sex has always been too special to me to really be casual).

I am not prudish, but I think it is really inappropriate to post this kind of thing on a community website. Such conversation has its place, but good grief, I don't think this is it. There are plenty of sexy places on line that aren't community and family oriented.

I'm delighted to see this interesting and juicy question/discussion thread come back to life! Dixon's explanation of it's second cumming is spot on:

Quote:

---

Posted in reply to the post by Dixon:

This thread was brought back to life because I stumbled upon it for the first time and decided to respond to Mykil's post. It appeared in your digest either because you posted in this thread yourself or because you're subscribed to the Conscious Relationship category.

---

This thread was started over 2 years ago and has hosted a lively, frank and thoughtful interchange by many community members. It's worth a scan of the prior responses on the website.

To address MarilynO's concern:

Quote:

---

Posted in reply to the post by MarilynO:

I am not prudish, but I think it is really inappropriate to post this kind of thing on a community website. Such conversation has its place, but good grief, I don't think this is it. There are plenty of sexy places on line that aren't community and family oriented.

---

While this is definitely a "community oriented" site it is not a "family oriented" site. It is intended for adults. I haven't put up any age restrictions because they are meaningless. Kids can easily access vast amounts of porn elsewhere on the net, with and without attempts of age verification.

And regarding "community", this site is intended for the "conscious community". A good discussion of this use of "conscious" is here. What's more, this is our Conscious Relationship category. A frank/conscious discussion of the relationship of sex and love is very appropriate here! I invite anybody uncomfortable with this topic to stop reading now and click the https://img192.imageshack.us/img192/...fromthread.jpg (this button is active).

My own :2cents: is "sex for the sake of sex" and "making love" are two end points of continuum. They are both different and mingle quite easily. It's quite possible to feel genuine love in the moment with someone you are having casual sex with (remember, love is all there is!) just as it's quite possible to have "sex for the sake of sex" with someone you love. I've enjoyed both!

How do you navigate this continuum? Can sex for sex sake lead to love, as it did for me? :wink: Do you just abstain if you are not in a committed relationship? What if it's been years since you have been in one? Have you successfully navigated the treacherous waters of sex with others while in a committed relationship? Do you think sex for sex's sake is getting a bum rap and it's really a pure expression of universal love while being great aerobic exercise? :bigkiss:

Quote:

---

Posted in reply to the post by MarilynO:

I am not prudish, but I think it is really inappropriate to post this kind of thing on a community website. Such conversation has its place, but good grief, I don't think this is it. There are plenty of sexy places on line that aren't community and family oriented."

---

I'd consider sex as part of conscious relationship between two or more consenting adults, and I'll bet that plenty of people in this community welcome the discussion.

It's a balancing act to avoid offending some people in the community. But the great thing is that we have a CHOICE not to read what is offensive to us, without censoring it completely for others.

Q: Can sex for sex sake lead to love, as it did for me?

A:
According to the book "The Road Less Traveled" by Scott Peck, "yes" How ever,
Scott Peck presents it as "can the myth of romantic love lead to real love" ?

The basic concept is that the "Myth of Romantic Love" usually lasts from
between six months to a couple of years. Then, after you "fall out of love"
and the mystical romance feelings are gone or going away, you have to
actually "work" at developing "Real Love". At which point you can end up
with the experience of "Falling in Love" again with the same person.

One of the problems is that it does take two people to be consciously aware
and both willing to "Work At It".

I learned this from one of the happiest married couples that I have ever known.
After watching them laugh while they fought, I b badgered them as to how they
ever managed to develop enough to do that. Their reply was the before mentioned
book and that they learned of it and had used it in "marriage counseling". Along
with the companion "work book" titled, "Exploring the Road Less Traveled".

Frankly, I still have a lot to learn about being able to laugh and argue in the same
breath. To this day, over twenty years later, it still amazes me.

For myself, I do not have much of a track record with a "long term stable relationship"
to really have any bragging rights. But at least I have tried and that is better than never
having to of tried. I had spent 15 years in one relationship with a woman that had a son
my age. That ended about twenty years ago. Maybe one of my problems is that she
did leave such a high bench mark. Still, it is better to have loved and lost than never
to have loved. Today, my challenge is to love regardless of the fear of experiencing
that type of pain, again. In truth, it does take some courage to try and love again when
you have known that kind of pain from such a loss. But I think that is a better path than
just than sex with a closed heart and just substituting some "kink" to make or keep it
interesting.

Or is that too much of a suggestion for the "prudish" ? One of the things
that I have learned in my years is that after a few years of being in a
relationship, you might want to try "spicing things up". Even so, it is my
opinion that deploying such a tactic "might" be more of a distraction from
the real work that needs to be done for a long term relationship. Of which
takes me back to Scott Peck's book, again. If such "spice" were used as
a type of "carrot and stick" approach for the conscious motivation of doing
the actual work, that might be another matter.

Maybe some day I'll get lucky enough to find out about that, myself ?

On the other hand, if sex is all that some of the others in this community want, they can
stop wasting their time here with "conscious thought" and go to another social networking
site that does cater to just getting laid with a " great aerobic exercise".

Example FYI:
FetLife is a FREE Social Network for the BDSM & fetish community.
Similar to Facebook and MySpace but run by kinksters
https://fetlife.com/

Even so, it appears to me that many that are into "fetishes" do so with an "Open Heart"
and are in a "collard relationship", (as they call it). Of which again takes it all back to
being willing to "do the work" that it takes to develop a "meaningful relationship".

One of the things that has
delighted me is that this bulletin board has kept a clean and serious
discussion of the subject, with out a bunch of strange and or perverse
posts.

There is little doubt that Barry has more than a little to do with that
and so I have to say, "Thank you Barry".

Quote:

---

Posted in reply to the post by Barry:

I'm delighted to see this interesting and juicy question/discussion thread come back to life! Dixon's explanation of it's second cumming is spot on:



This thread was started over 2 years ago and has hosted a lively, frank and thoughtful interchange by many community members. It's worth a scan of the prior responses on the website.

To address MarilynO's concern:



While this is definitely a "community oriented" site it is not a "family oriented" site. It is intended for adults. I haven't put up any age restrictions because they are meaningless. Kids can easily access vast amounts of porn elsewhere on the net, with and without attempts of age verification.

And regarding "community", this site is intended for the "conscious community". A good discussion of this use of "conscious" is here. What's more, this is our Conscious Relationship category. A frank/conscious discussion of the relationship of sex and love is very appropriate here! I invite anybody uncomfortable with this topic to stop reading now and click the https://img192.imageshack.us/img192/...fromthread.jpg (this button is active).

My own :2cents: is "sex for the sake of sex" and "making love" are two end point of continuum. They are both different and mingle quite easily. It's quite possible to feel genuine love in the moment with someone you are having casual sex with (remember, love is all there is!) just as it's quite possible to have "sex for the sake of sex" with someone you love. I've enjoyed both!

How do you navigate this continuum? Can sex for sex sake lead to love, as it did for me? :wink: Do you just abstain if you are not in a committed relationship? What if it's been years since you have been in one? Have you successfully navigated the treacherous waters of sex with others while in a committed relationship? Do you think sex for sex's sake is getting a bum rap and it's really a pure expression of universal love while being great aerobic exercise? :bigkiss:

---

Quote:

---

Posted in reply to the post by MarilynO:

I am not prudish, but...

---

I've seen/heard a lot of sentences begin this way, and this phrase is always followed by an expression of prudishness! :rofl:

Quote:

---

I think it is really inappropriate to post this kind of thing on a community website. Such conversation has its place, but good grief, I don't think this is it. There are plenty of sexy places on line that aren't community and family oriented.

---

See, I told you there'd be prudishness coming up! :nod: The implication that there is something unsavory, even harmful, in straightforward, joyous expression of sexuality is, as far as I can see, just dead wrong, although I'd be happy to hear you or anyone make a case for it.

Similarly, the implication that it would somehow be harmful to children to be exposed to honest talk about sex is also, I think, baloney. In fact, I'd argue that the most common form of child sexual abuse is to inculcate kids with a shame-based attitude toward sex, and the most common way of doing that is to censor out sexual images and straightforward talk about sex as if it's something nasty, disgusting, toxic, sinful. Such sex-negativity is perversion, and tends to result in people who are repressed and repressive, unfulfilled, ashamed of their natural feelings and desires, and, possibly, more inclined to be violent, materialistic, and alienated.

You're entitled to be prudish if you want, but when you try to shame or censor me for speaking freely, you're asking for a sermon! :banana:

Somewhere I learned that if the word "but" follows a statement, it negates the statement.
It may not always be true, but in this case it seems accurate because of the statements
that follow.

Quote:

---

Posted in reply to the post by Barry:

I'm delighted to see this interesting and juicy question/discussion thread come back to life! Dixon's explanation of it's second cumming is spot on:



This thread was started over 2 years ago and has hosted a lively, frank and thoughtful interchange by many community members. It's worth a scan of the prior responses on the website.

To address MarilynO's concern:



While this is definitely a "community oriented" site it is not a "family oriented" site. It is intended for adults. I haven't put up any age restrictions because they are meaningless. Kids can easily access vast amounts of porn elsewhere on the net, with and without attempts of age verification.

And regarding "community", this site is intended for the "conscious community". A good discussion of this use of "conscious" is here. What's more, this is our Conscious Relationship category. A frank/conscious discussion of the relationship of sex and love is very appropriate here! I invite anybody uncomfortable with this topic to stop reading now and click the https://img192.imageshack.us/img192/...fromthread.jpg (this button is active).

My own :2cents: is "sex for the sake of sex" and "making love" are two end point of continuum. They are both different and mingle quite easily. It's quite possible to feel genuine love in the moment with someone you are having casual sex with (remember, love is all there is!) just as it's quite possible to have "sex for the sake of sex" with someone you love. I've enjoyed both!

How do you navigate this continuum? Can sex for sex sake lead to love, as it did for me? :wink: Do you just abstain if you are not in a committed relationship? What if it's been years since you have been in one? Have you successfully navigated the treacherous waters of sex with others while in a committed relationship? Do you think sex for sex's sake is getting a bum rap and it's really a pure expression of universal love while being great aerobic exercise? :bigkiss:

---

We are sexual beings, and as we know, even a promise to be monogamous "til death do us part" doesn't seem to stop the biological and emotional attraction to others. Even if we agree to an "open" relationship, fear and insecurity can step in, and the relationship ends.

Although I've never been in one, I've often thought that a commune makes sense, like the one Rashnish created.
People living together, while working, eating, sleeping, creating, meditating, singing together. They had a way to identify their sexual openness with a particular color of beads. This doesn't mean there wouldn't still be some possessiveness, jealously or fear, but at least the ground rules were more realistic. They had a choice to live in a way that offered more freedom to love with the heart and body, without fear of judgment.

Primitive cultures don't seem to have the hang ups we do, until they get indoctrinated with the "sin" concept. So, it really depends on what we've been taught, and then what we've been able to see through to make our own choices.

I think many people probably restrain their desire to act because of judgment, and or consequences, but then we have some great examples where even our leaders throw caution to the wind, in favor of the experience of the moment (s).

Quote:

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Posted in reply to the post by dw41552:

https://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/...2cbbecc227.png

---

I see that "sex" is listed right along with "breathing, etc." Doesn't seem like
we can live without that.
I know that we can live without sex, but it is listed there, right along with
breathing. hmmmm? Are they equally important?

Good Morning Folks! Can we just talk about sex now? I have been waiting like TWO FRIGGIN YEARS FOR THiS! I have had a lot of sex since then, and I mean allot, can we just talk about our feelings for a bit as well? Oh WoW I did miss you guys. Dix Ole Man let’s here about you last endeavor! Shandi you are still fine as fuck love! Everyone else, Mindy... hmmm yeah let’s talk sex for the sake of sex!

Quote:

---

Posted in reply to the post by mykil:

Good Morning Folks! Can we just talk about sex now? I have been waiting like TWO FRIGGIN YEARS FOR THiS! I have had a lot of sex since then, and I mean allot, can we just talk about our feelings for a bit as well? Oh WoW I did miss you guys. Dix Ole Man let’s here about you last endeavor! Shandi you are still fine as fuck love! Everyone else, Mindy... hmmm yeah let’s talk sex for the sake of sex!

---

Ah...o.k. you want us to talk about our feelings about sex. Well, the first time I had sex was on my wedding night, yep, I was a young Catholic virgin. My husband and I didn't know much about it, but we managed to do "it" anyway. I liked it a lot, and could barely walk the next day! I didn't know what an orgasm was, wasn't expecting one, and hadn't had one.

That was o.k. because I loved my husband, and it was great being naked together, even if it was in the dark. We continued to have sex this way, and I had two children before I decided that the Church wasn't going to rule my life, much less my sex life. My husband was Italian, and wanted it every chance he got. With two babies, and no help, my desire for sex waned. We still had it, but it was very routine, and I had very little energy to do it.

After a few years passed, I took a Human Sexuality course, and learned many things that I didn't know. It was the early 70's, and there was lots of information on orgasm. I tried several of the suggestions, and our sex life got better. I wanted him to take the class, but he refused. He was a lot more traditional Catholic than I was. I'd been roped in as a 10 year old. Prior to that I had very little parental supervision or indoctrination. Now, I realize that it was a good thing~

My values were shifting about a lot of things, as I was exposed to various sexual lifestyles, along with being introduced to cannabis by my brother. We attended "clothing optional" parties, and I loved the way people were able to get beyond superficial conversation, when they were naked. I also experienced a variety of sexual partners, and realized that there was a lot more to sex than I'd been experiencing.

Eighteen years later, I divorced my husband, not because I didn't love him, but because my values had changed, and his had remained the same. He was focused on the material world, and it was his way of proving himself. I wasn't into it because I saw the superficiality of the game.

I continued to have many sexual partners, some with strangers and some with friends. I lived with a couple of them, but I never felt the same kind of love I had for my husband. We had been friends since grade school, and he really was a great guy. He still is, and he remarried a year after our divorce...to a very conservative Catholic woman. He told me "I'd never marry a wild woman again!"

I've been told that I'm a "free spirit". To me that means that I look to myself for answers, and act according to what I think will work for me. At this stage of my life, I don't feel the sexual attraction, although I can still appreciate a good looking man or woman. My impulse at this time is to photograph them, rather than have sex with them. So, I guess you could say that sex has taken a back seat to my passion for photography.

Whether it's a person, an animal or a flower, that's when I feel aroused and alive! I lose track of time when I'm in that mode.

I'm very glad that I've had a variety of sexual encounters in my lifetime, and have no regrets.

Quote:

---

Posted in reply to the post by mykil:

Good Morning Folks! Can we just talk about sex now? I have been waiting like TWO FRIGGIN YEARS FOR THiS! I have had a lot of sex since then, and I mean allot, can we just talk about our feelings for a bit as well? Oh WoW I did miss you guys. Dix Ole Man let’s here about you last endeavor! Shandi you are still fine as fuck love! Everyone else, Mindy... hmmm yeah let’s talk sex for the sake of sex!

---

Waiting two years. Ouch. After these two suggestions, I am editing
a few things that might be of interest to you on this subject.

Here are two other choices. You might want to check them both out:

1:

FetLife is a FREE Social Network for the BDSM & fetish community.
Similar to Facebook and MySpace but run by kinksters
https://fetlife.com/

2:
Sexploration with Monika - San Francisco Radio Show
My personal Favorite Show
You can have an Orgasm for 15 minutes!!!
Posted at
https://sexplorationwithmonika.libsy...ic-meditation-

Please be nice to my friend Monika. She
actually had me on her show a month or two ago.
But that is another story. She is very frank, out spoken
and intelligent. "Talking" about sex is what she ia all about.


From one perspective there is the issue of "safety". It does not
seem to be too well known that condoms DO NOT Protect You From HPV (vernal warts).
The Center for Disease Control has some good articles about this. You have a Fifty-Fifty
Chance with EACH new Sexual Contact. Most People Do Not Know They Have Warts
(Explain in a CDC Article that is pasted into a web page at )> The Truth About Vernal Warts

That said, on to the "mechanics" of it:

If a woman deploys the "Squeeze Technique", she can "Train the Snake". Or to
put it more politely, train a young man to be a "Stud". This often results in a many
having multiple orgasms on a single erection while he is younger. And that ability
usually fades by the time he is middle aged.

The "Squeeze Technique" is when a woman grasps the base of the penis when
the testes tighten up, just before ejaculation and squeezes. Thus preventing the
man from ejaculating. He might loose some of the erection, but a skilled "trainer"
can usually restore him to a complete erection, with out his having to ejaculate, until
the "session" or training has been done for awhile. The most common use of
the "Squeeze Technique" is for training men that have a condition called "premature
ejaculation".

Or cultures use what is called a "Cock Ring". It is fitted to a mans penis, tightly around
the base of the penis and helps to prevent ejaculation.

Regardless, even when a young man is "trained" in this manner and does develop the
ability to have multiple orgasms on a single erection, it is not very "common". and the
majority of them that do, loose that ability by middle age.

Being that I am now 52, do not bother asking me for any demonstrations. If you think
that I am just telling stories, do some R&D on the Internet. Use search terms like
"men multiple orgasms on single erection".

Now here is "the real deal";

"The quality of the best orgasms that I have ever had
equaled the depth of the emotional commitment".

This does not mean that I have to be in a deeply emotionally
committed relationship to have a good orgasm. Though the
orgasms that really "rocked my world" always were.

And for myself, I want the quality more than the quantity.

End of Sermon.
Hey Dixom can I get an "Amen" ?

Blessings,

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