Be careful who you choose to guide your life
I lived most of my life in the mid-west and I'm fascinated, and mostly delighted, with the way folks in west Sonoma County support so many good things, seek to save the earth, and seek personal improvement. The latter does concern me though, because what I see as an outsider is that there are a lot of seekers who are vulnerable to those who proclaim themselves as spiritual guides, life coaches or whatever. I am not jumping in to slander anyone, just to ask that people look before they leap.
Unlike a licensed practitioner of any healing art, a "guide" or "coach" isn't really required by law to show credentials. I have seen cases already in my short time here, where people who have no educational or experiential background that qualifies them to advise anyone, "hang out their shingle" and give very poor advice while posturing with "authority." A weakness in our society is people being willing to follow those in authority, even when the authority is not real. I have seen a few very well-meaning and trusting people fall victim to those who have lead them down some pretty flaky paths.
This is a very hard time for humankind, for the planet, for our nation, our economy. If someone is advising you on a career change you better make sure they have some actual knowledge, that they researched the opportunities in that career, know the average annual income etc., and in short that they aren't just blowing it out their arse because it makes them feel good to get paid for sounding like they know what they're talking about. Any Life Coach or Guide who solicits clients from among their friends is suspect in my book. Ever hear of OBJECTIVITY? Anyone who "counsels" and talks about a third-party they know personally is lacking in professionalism and integrity. I'm just sayin'..... please be careful... it's not just your money spent in session... it could be your job... your relationship... your future.
Sean
Re: Be careful who you choose to guide your life
We live in a wonderful community that has, like most places, some serious blind spots. You identify one. Others are people who blindly step out into traffic and are surprised when they're hit by cars. Another is bicycle riders who intentionally hog the road and then complain of driver hostility (I am a bike rider but encounter this when out driving with increasing frequency). Perceptions are often favored over common sense and realities that conflict with predetermined agendas particularly where liberal politics are involved.
Our exquisite natural beauty, benign climate and high degree of civic involvement and volunteerism are but a few of the overwhelming redeeming qualities that largely compensate for so much of the unnecessary silliness. By and large our fellow citizens here are concerned and caring individuals who honestly strive to maintain our unique slice of the universe for us all to enjoy. Just don't get on the wrong side of the more strident and militant among us. Open mindedness and tolerance can be rather selective in our little bit of heaven.
Quote:
Posted in reply to the post by SGPat:
I lived most of my life in the mid-west and I'm fascinated, and mostly delighted, with the way folks in west Sonoma County support so many good things, seek to save the earth, and seek personal improvement. The latter does concern me though, because what I see as an outsider is that there are a lot of seekers who are vulnerable to those who proclaim themselves as spiritual guides, life coaches or whatever. I am not jumping in to slander anyone, just to ask that people look before they leap.
Unlike a licensed practitioner of any healing art, a "guide" or "coach" isn't really required by law to show credentials. I have seen cases already in my short time here, where people who have no educational or experiential background that qualifies them to advise anyone, "hang out their shingle" and give very poor advice while posturing with "authority." A weakness in our society is people being willing to follow those in authority, even when the authority is not real. I have seen a few very well-meaning and trusting people fall victim to those who have lead them down some pretty flaky paths.
This is a very hard time for humankind, for the planet, for our nation, our economy. If someone is advising you on a career change you better make sure they have some actual knowledge, that they researched the opportunities in that career, know the average annual income etc., and in short that they aren't just blowing it out their arse because it makes them feel good to get paid for sounding like they know what they're talking about. Any Life Coach or Guide who solicits clients from among their friends is suspect in my book. Ever hear of OBJECTIVITY? Anyone who "counsels" and talks about a third-party they know personally is lacking in professionalism and integrity. I'm just sayin'..... please be careful... it's not just your money spent in session... it could be your job... your relationship... your future.
Sean
Re: Be careful who you choose to guide your life
Hello Sean ~
Thanks for your observations. While it's certainly true that West Sonoma County is somewhat unique in its outlook ~ and often ahead of the curve in terms of national or planetary change ~ you make an excellent point about people's vulnerability and personal power. During these transformational times, especially, it's easier for some to ask others for advice rather than seek their own inner wisdom.
A true guide, whether a coach, counselor, or similar practitioner, is adept at facilitating people to find their own direction and provides relevant resources to assist this quest. Coaches generally complete an in-depth course of training at a school such as CTI (the Coaches Training Institute in San Rafael, which I attended) and a rigorous certification process, which may be done through some of the schools, or through our professional organization, the International Coach Federation (ICF). No diploma, however, assures anyone that the person they have contacted is a skilled practitioner ~ or, if they are, that the designated practitioner is the best fit for their needs. There are as many supremely skilled people bearing indigenous wisdom, for example, who have no degree from a formal institution, as there are people with PhD's who have no "people skills."
A good coach is a questioner who elicits the client's own truth through skilled inquiry, deep listening, and empathic support, as well as providing targeted resources as mentioned. I hope this brings greater clarity to your observation. I'm originally from the East coast myself, and I can attest that when I first landed in California many years ago, it did indeed feel like another universe :wink:
Blessings, and may 2013 be a joy-filled year for you,
Amara
LiveYourLight.com
Quote:
Posted in reply to the post by SGPat:
I lived most of my life in the mid-west and I'm fascinated, and mostly delighted, with the way folks in west Sonoma County support so many good things, seek to save the earth, and seek personal improvement. The latter does concern me though, because what I see as an outsider is that there are a lot of seekers who are vulnerable to those who proclaim themselves as spiritual guides, life coaches or whatever. I am not jumping in to slander anyone, just to ask that people look before they leap.
Unlike a licensed practitioner of any healing art, a "guide" or "coach" isn't really required by law to show credentials. I have seen cases already in my short time here, where people who have no educational or experiential background that qualifies them to advise anyone, "hang out their shingle" and give very poor advice while posturing with "authority." A weakness in our society is people being willing to follow those in authority, even when the authority is not real. I have seen a few very well-meaning and trusting people fall victim to those who have lead them down some pretty flaky paths.
This is a very hard time for humankind, for the planet, for our nation, our economy. If someone is advising you on a career change you better make sure they have some actual knowledge, that they researched the opportunities in that career, know the average annual income etc., and in short that they aren't just blowing it out their arse because it makes them feel good to get paid for sounding like they know what they're talking about. Any Life Coach or Guide who solicits clients from among their friends is suspect in my book. Ever hear of OBJECTIVITY? Anyone who "counsels" and talks about a third-party they know personally is lacking in professionalism and integrity. I'm just sayin'..... please be careful... it's not just your money spent in session... it could be your job... your relationship... your future.
Sean
Re: Be careful who you choose to guide your life
Sean, thanks for your post. I totally agree. This is such a difficult time and there are lots of people who are looking for guidance. And a lot of people who take advantage of that vulnerability, although I don't think that they are out to intentionally hurt people.
A reminder: guides and coaches are there to help YOU find your own way, not to tell you THE way. I get nervous when someone tells me they have the answer, because they don't necessarily know what is right for me. A good coach and guide will ask questions to help the person find what is true for them. They also can teach their viewpoint but never force it on another.
The best mentoring relationship I have had was with someone who never ever told me what I should do or believe. He helped me find my own way. I know that I need to take responsibility for my own path, my own choices, and find those who help me figure out what is best for me.
Jess
Re: Be careful who you choose to guide your life
I love this quote from you:"Perceptions are often favored over common sense and realities that conflict with predetermined agendas" Yes! I have studied social psychology. Avoidance of a paradigm shift is one of the greatest drives and biggest flaws in humans! We have a drive to maintain our sense of reality (skewed or not) because otherwise we can feel out of balance. People are capable of any sort of rationalization or denial in order to hang on to their established paradigm. Apparently this drive is nearly as strong as the drive to survive, and though engineered to keep us in mental stasis, it ends up being one of the most insane things about humans! I am thrilled that you said this. It's true for any situation where people hold strong opinions and don't want to be confused by facts.
Quote:
Posted in reply to the post by photolite:
We live in a wonderful community that has, like most places, some serious blind spots. You identify one. Others are people who blindly step out into traffic and are surprised when they're hit by cars. Another is bicycle riders who intentionally hog the road and then complain of driver hostility (I am a bike rider but encounter this when out driving with increasing frequency). Perceptions are often favored over common sense and realities that conflict with predetermined agendas particularly where liberal politics are involved.
Our exquisite natural beauty, benign climate and high degree of civic involvement and volunteerism are but a few of the overwhelming redeeming qualities that largely compensate for so much of the unnecessary silliness. By and large our fellow citizens here are concerned and caring individuals who honestly strive to maintain our unique slice of the universe for us all to enjoy. Just don't get on the wrong side of the more strident and militant among us. Open mindedness and tolerance can be rather selective in our little bit of heaven.
Re: Be careful who you choose to guide your life
Your coach sounds great and so do you! Thank you and Happy New Year! Can you share who your coach is? If you don't find it appropriate to announce it publicly, perhaps you could reply privately. I know someone I might suggest him to.
Quote:
Posted in reply to the post by jesswolfe:
Sean, thanks for your post. I totally agree. This is such a difficult time and there are lots of people who are looking for guidance. And a lot of people who take advantage of that vulnerability, although I don't think that they are out to intentionally hurt people. A reminder: guides and coaches are there to help YOU find your own way, not to tell you THE way. I get nervous when someone tells me they have the answer, because they don't necessarily know what is right for me. A good coach and guide will ask questions to help the person find what is true for them. They also can teach their viewpoint but never force it on another. The best mentoring relationship I have had was with someone who never ever told me what I should do or believe. He helped me find my own way. I know that I need to take responsibility for my own path, my own choices, and find those who help me figure out what is best for me.
Jess
Re: Be careful who you choose to guide your life
Sean,
Thank you for your thoughtful words of caution. As a registered Marriage and Family Therapist Intern, I would add that being licensed or certified as a therapist or coach is not a guarantee against poor advice, and not all uncertified guides and practitioners are posers. Your advice to look before you leap is wise, as is your suggestion that counselors who engage in questionable ethical practices regarding confidentiality and gossip are raising flags that would cause concern.
When a person is in need, they may be vulnerable to latching on to anyone who offers relief. I might suggest another guideline to protect oneself from being taken advantage of and to maximize the benefit of the experience - "Does my counselor tell me what to do, or do I have the sense that I am being aided in discovering and eliciting what feels right for me, from myself and for myself?"
Life sends challenges. Having a counselor, whether licensed or not, who can accompany us on the journey through those challenges, can make the difference between mere suffering and true growth. An honest counselor will even help you to approach the question, "Is this the right form and the right person for me to work with?" It is always your responsibility to assess what best suits and serves your needs.
Bob
Quote:
Posted in reply to the post by SGPat:
I lived most of my life in the mid-west and I'm fascinated, and mostly delighted, with the way folks in west Sonoma County support so many good things, seek to save the earth, and seek personal improvement. The latter does concern me though, because what I see as an outsider is that there are a lot of seekers who are vulnerable to those who proclaim themselves as spiritual guides, life coaches or whatever. I am not jumping in to slander anyone, just to ask that people look before they leap.
Unlike a licensed practitioner of any healing art, a "guide" or "coach" isn't really required by law to show credentials. I have seen cases already in my short time here, where people who have no educational or experiential background that qualifies them to advise anyone, "hang out their shingle" and give very poor advice while posturing with "authority." A weakness in our society is people being willing to follow those in authority, even when the authority is not real. I have seen a few very well-meaning and trusting people fall victim to those who have lead them down some pretty flaky paths.
This is a very hard time for humankind, for the planet, for our nation, our economy. If someone is advising you on a career change you better make sure they have some actual knowledge, that they researched the opportunities in that career, know the average annual income etc., and in short that they aren't just blowing it out their arse because it makes them feel good to get paid for sounding like they know what they're talking about. Any Life Coach or Guide who solicits clients from among their friends is suspect in my book. Ever hear of OBJECTIVITY? Anyone who "counsels" and talks about a third-party they know personally is lacking in professionalism and integrity. I'm just sayin'..... please be careful... it's not just your money spent in session... it could be your job... your relationship... your future.
Sean
Re: Be careful who you choose to guide your life
Sean,
I agree with you to be very careful who to accept guidance from. However, I would add a caveat emptor be careful whether they are licensed or not.
Recently I was a member of a support group where another member was a life coach and licensed therapist. During each group meeting while others shared personal experiences, this person did not share or make eye contact and even texted during entire sessions (even though there was a no cel phone policy).
Ironically, they were looking for coaching referrals.
A lot of information is available to us about "experts" if we simply sit with that person in an intimate conversation. This could easily tell us whether (or not) we want to trust our lives to them.
:2cents:
Andrea
Quote:
Posted in reply to the post by SGPat:
I lived most of my life in the mid-west and I'm fascinated, and mostly delighted, with the way folks in west Sonoma County support so many good things, seek to save the earth, and seek personal improvement. The latter does concern me though, because what I see as an outsider is that there are a lot of seekers who are vulnerable to those who proclaim themselves as spiritual guides, life coaches or whatever. I am not jumping in to slander anyone, just to ask that people look before they leap.
Unlike a licensed practitioner of any healing art, a "guide" or "coach" isn't really required by law to show credentials. I have seen cases already in my short time here, where people who have no educational or experiential background that qualifies them to advise anyone, "hang out their shingle" and give very poor advice while posturing with "authority." A weakness in our society is people being willing to follow those in authority, even when the authority is not real. I have seen a few very well-meaning and trusting people fall victim to those who have lead them down some pretty flaky paths.
This is a very hard time for humankind, for the planet, for our nation, our economy. If someone is advising you on a career change you better make sure they have some actual knowledge, that they researched the opportunities in that career, know the average annual income etc., and in short that they aren't just blowing it out their arse because it makes them feel good to get paid for sounding like they know what they're talking about. Any Life Coach or Guide who solicits clients from among their friends is suspect in my book. Ever hear of OBJECTIVITY? Anyone who "counsels" and talks about a third-party they know personally is lacking in professionalism and integrity. I'm just sayin'..... please be careful... it's not just your money spent in session... it could be your job... your relationship... your future.
Sean
