Political Jokes!

The sad truth about political jokes, is that nothing has changed in the last 2,000 years.

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
~Henry Cate, VII

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
~Aesop

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches, there wouldn 't be any inducement to go to heaven.
~Will Rogers

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.
~Plato

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
~Nikita Khrushchev

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I 'm beginning to believe it.
~Clarence Darrow

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.
~Author Unknown

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.
~John Quinton

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
~Oscar Ameringer

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.
~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
~Texas Guinan

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so.
~Gore Vidal

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
~Charles de Gaulle

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
~Ronald Reagan

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
~Doug Larson

Don't vote, it only encourages them.
~Author Unknown

There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
~Will Rogers