HELP! Anyone have experience with a landlord/roommate going in room, stealing?

I've been living in this shared housing situation for 2 years, and on several occasions I've noticed that my
landlady/roommate has gone in my room. I didn't like it, but figured she was just nosy.

She has also shown my room when I was gone, with no prior notice. I printed out the legal requirements of 24 hour notice to show the room.

I had some money in my dresser drawer that I was saving for a deposit on a new place. Three days ago, when I recounted it, I was missing $300. I put a lock on my bedroom door.

She left a note for me this morning that she contacted the police and housing authority, and that I must give her a key to my room. I only have 10 days before I move. She also said that she was thinking about getting a gun. I feel very vulnerable because she's seriously mentally ill.


She said I'm a "multiple personality, and have intentions of getting my friend to leave her partner, which is delusional babble. I laughed when she said this. She also said that she is "a mind reader".:thinking:

I consider her dangerous, although not yet armed.

Any suggestions? I have nowhere to go until I move.

If she has not given you written 60 day notice, legally served by registered return receipt mail. She has not properly served you.

Having lived there for two years you are legally on a month to month lease. Her service must be prior to the start of the month for the 60 day period. You may only be entitled to 30 day notice, I checked the link below, and could not determine the requirements that distinguish between 30 and 60 notices.

Rossmen? (My brother is an "Income Property Owner" and expert in these matters.)

Hand delivered notices are not legally binding. Ten day notices are illegal.

Document all of your communications with her and all incidents of note. Use registered mail (return receipt) for all communications with her.

Go to the police, report her threats and aberrant behavior. Get a restraining order. After the fact, serve her with it, and with a letter briefly and clearly explaining your actions and the law that supports you, by registered mail.

Do it NOW! Before it is too late! Consult a landlord/tenant lawyer, if you can possibly afford it. There may still be free legal advice for those who cannot afford legal counsel, but I am not informed as to where that can be found in this area these days.

https://www.dca.ca.gov/publications/landlordbook/index.shtml

How terrible, Sandi! I'd suggest removing all your valuables now and just lay low and have as little contact as possible until you move out.

Shandi,

It breaks my heart to hear that your roommate/landlord is stealing from you and that you feel unsafe in your home. I know you feel trapped because of your mobility issues. Any reasonable able bodied person would move in immediately before any more harm could occur. You can't do that and I am not there to offer you temporary housing for 10 days.

I hope someone in this community steps forward and offers you a place to stay. I would never remain in that home alone and when you do vacate, take LOTS of pictures then send a certified letter stating that you have witnesses and documentation regarding the condition in which you left the home. Remind her that under California law, she has 21 days to return your security deposit after which you can take her to court and win.

You gotta let her know that you are tough when you have to be and will not tolerate any nonsense. However, I would interact as little as possible.

If anyone can step forward to help Shandi, I would be very grateful. She is a good person and is vulnerable. I don't want to worry about her!!!

Thanks,
Sereniti

Sandy, if you feel unsafe in your current place and have nowhere else to go, and need housing for only the next 10 days (did I understand that correctly?), I think I can get away with putting you up in my little bungalow without displeasing my landlord and landlady too much. It's a converted 2-car garage, so there's no substantial room to store your stuff, but you could bring a suitcase and you can use the bed while I use my sleeping bag on the floor. But be warned--I snore! Let me know if you need to do this.

Shandi , Everything Mad Miles wrote is correct. But fact is that legal or not you should not put yourself at risk.
You need to casually, with someone else , get out anything at all that you value. If it is everything then pack it up ( I can help , I am professional.. super hero qualities.. but shhhh about that info. , ) and get it somewhere else. Depending on how much stuff I may be able to help you.
You need to go to or call
Fair Housing 1300 N. Dutton
579-5033
and/or
Calif. Rural Legal Assoc.
528-9941
They will guide you.

Most important as has been said DOCUMENT EVERYTHING.
Get out of there and deal with the craziness in a safe place.
She is very much in the wrong, but that does not stop people from behaving the way some do.
I have a truck as well and a couch if you need.
Keep your sanity , breathe , ask for help and appreciate it with out guilt. That is what life is about.. working together..
Denise 827-3581 Call if you need me..

I agree with Barry and also the person who gave you clear directions re contacting the police, possibly getting a restraining order, giving notice etc. You can do these quietly without "engaging." I would add to previous advice that your safety is the most important thing here, and your emotional and physical well being.
Let your friends, collegaues and family know that you are doing everything you can to resolve the situation but that it isn't safe and ask for help.Maybe several can chip in small amounts and also help with respite---evne on their couch! I don't know your circumstances, age etc but perhaps you are eligible for some emergency funds. Check out what's available in Sonoma County.

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Posted in reply to the post by Barry:

How terrible, Sandi! I'd suggest removing all your valuables now and just lay low and have as little contact as possible until you move out.

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When I was waiting for my apt complex to be completed (held back by rain), I moved into an Extended Stay Hotel. They have weekly and monthly rates. Take your important belongings with you and leave the door where you have been, locked when you leave.

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Posted in reply to the post by Shandi:

I've been living in this shared housing situation for 2 years, and on several occasions I've noticed that my
landlady/roommate has gone in my room. I didn't like it, but figured she was just nosy.

She has also shown my room when I was gone, with no prior notice. I printed out the legal requirements of 24 hour notice to show the room.

I had some money in my dresser drawer that I was saving for a deposit on a new place. Three days ago, when I recounted it, I was missing $300. I put a lock on my bedroom door.

She left a note for me this morning that she contacted the police and housing authority, and that I must give her a key to my room. I only have 10 days before I move. She also said that she was thinking about getting a gun. I feel very vulnerable because she's seriously mentally ill.


She said I'm a "multiple personality, and have intentions of getting my friend to leave her partner, which is delusional babble. I laughed when she said this. She also said that she is "a mind reader".:thinking:

I consider her dangerous, although not yet armed.

Any suggestions? I have nowhere to go until I move.

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There is also a handy book to get through Nolo Press called Tenants Rights Handbook - they have alot of it actually up on line. Here's a link: https://www.nolo.com/ , and here's direct link to some of the online book: https://www.nolo.com/nolo/search.htm...x=0&submit.y=0

Good luck! I hope everything goes smoothly in the end - you get a good place, you move all your stuff safely and securely, and the woman / landlord mellows out and backs off! (she sounds like a time bomb though - so head all the good sound advise here and take up the offers to stay elsewhere. Thanks Wacco community!

I agree with Barry, lay low and if possible try your best to be charming and friendly while working to get into a safe situation asap. Be careful to avoid upsetting her, (it sounds like virtually anything might set her off). If you can move to a temporary place asap, do so. Not sure if the YWCA woman's shelter would help as this might not fit the definition of domestic violence exactly, but it seems they should help as it is a potential dangerous situation. If i read correctly you have mobility challenges so that might prevent their being able to help but they may have suggestions of where to go.

If your income is low enough you can go to Legal Aide in Santa Rosa and they will help you with the legality of the eviction notice. But you must show up as a walk in early on days they are open. They don't make telephone appointments and are not fast to return phone calls. Here is their website: https://legalaidsc.org/

It probably is a good idea to discretely phone the police and tell them you are concerned for your safety and need help. The Santa Rosa PD was very good, when we had a situation. We had a housemate/tenant that was pretty upsetting for us and they were amazingly perceptive, understanding and gave some good advice, in our case one officer and the legal aides said to not speak to the person who was causing the trouble because she "got off" on the drama she was causing.

The landlord/tenant office at Sonoma County Community Action Program, formerly SCPOE, gives good advice. It's best to go there, it's on Dutton Ave in Santa Rosa north of College Avenue. Barrie

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Posted in reply to the post by Shandi:

I've been living in this shared housing situation for 2 years, and on several occasions I've noticed that my
landlady/roommate has gone in my room. I didn't like it, but figured she was just nosy.

She has also shown my room when I was gone, with no prior notice. I printed out the legal requirements of 24 hour notice to show the room.

I had some money in my dresser drawer that I was saving for a deposit on a new place. Three days ago, when I recounted it, I was missing $300. I put a lock on my bedroom door.

She left a note for me this morning that she contacted the police and housing authority, and that I must give her a key to my room. I only have 10 days before I move. She also said that she was thinking about getting a gun. I feel very vulnerable because she's seriously mentally ill.


She said I'm a "multiple personality, and have intentions of getting my friend to leave her partner, which is delusional babble. I laughed when she said this. She also said that she is "a mind reader".:thinking:

I consider her dangerous, although not yet armed.

Any suggestions? I have nowhere to go until I move.

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Hi Sandi,
I hope it is going better for you today. Catholic Charities had a program where they would pay rent and or deposit for people. A quick call to them might be good... I am thinking of the money taken from you for rent.

Santa Rosa Office
Executive Director Chuck Fernandez
Executive Assistant Linda Lindsey
987 Airway Court, Santa Rosa
send mail c/o PO Box 4900, Santa Rosa CA 95402
Phone: 707-528-8712 Fax: 575-4910

https://www.srcharities.org/services/homeless.html

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Posted in reply to the post by Shandi:

I've been living in this shared housing situation for 2 years, and on several occasions I've noticed that my
landlady/roommate has gone in my room. I didn't like it, but figured she was just nosy.

She has also shown my room when I was gone, with no prior notice. I printed out the legal requirements of 24 hour notice to show the room.

I had some money in my dresser drawer that I was saving for a deposit on a new place. Three days ago, when I recounted it, I was missing $300. I put a lock on my bedroom door.

She left a note for me this morning that she contacted the police and housing authority, and that I must give her a key to my room. I only have 10 days before I move. She also said that she was thinking about getting a gun. I feel very vulnerable because she's seriously mentally ill.


She said I'm a "multiple personality, and have intentions of getting my friend to leave her partner, which is delusional babble. I laughed when she said this. She also said that she is "a mind reader".:thinking:

I consider her dangerous, although not yet armed.

Any suggestions? I have nowhere to go until I move.

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I researched my housing options carefully before choosing the path that I did. (purchasing a huge rv to live in) Catholic Charities offers to help with the security deposit if you qualify... and of course if you move out, they get it back.

I have a little knowledge about her next housing opportunity and frankly I'm not thrilled about it. As I mentioned on another thread, older people particularly with health issues, get passed over for consideration as a roommate. Thus she ends up with less desirable housing. People typically get roommates because they need the money and want someone who works or goes to school and thus won't be home most of the time, except to sleep.

This is absolutely no reflection on Shandi, who I think is a beautiful person. It is just the reality of her situation. I would encourage you, if you or someone you know has space.... talk to her about it. She has lived a full life and while she may be in her twilight years now... she has so much to offer as a companion and roommate.

One thing to know in advance is that she does have a kitty. This is her love and her companion. I'm sure you can understand how important it is to her to have this little kitty, especially given the context of her situation.

I wish she shared with you that she really needed a more desirable option than what she has now, but that is the case. She has a regular income, so paying the rent will not be an issue. That is a super huge plus, not to be overlooked!!

Hope this helps you Shandi~~!
La Sereniti

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Posted in reply to the post by The"A"Team:

Hi Sandi,
I hope it is going better for you today. Catholic Charities had a program where they would pay rent and or deposit for people. A quick call to them might be good... I am thinking of the money taken from you for rent.....

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Posted in reply to the post by Beking55:

When I was waiting for my apt complex to be completed (held back by rain), I moved into an Extended Stay Hotel. They have weekly and monthly rates. Take your important belongings with you and leave the door where you have been, locked when you leave.

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I know a couple who stayed at the Extended Stay on Corby and they did not feel safe there. They then moved to the one on Fountaingrove and felt much better.
They warned that since people are generally there with all their belongings, it is a perfect setting for robberies. I would advise against keeping your valuables in the hotel room.
I have no statistics, just the insights they shared with me.
Good luck, Shandi. Crazy landladies are the pits. Crazy landladies under the same roof are a stress beyond belief.