Woman's Request for Technical Support

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct
slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and
jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.

In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as
Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs
such as Rugby , Football, Motor Racing and Continuous TV. Conversation no
longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I've tried
running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

.......................................................................................................

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband
is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You
Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears.

Don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as
designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery
and Flowers, but remember - overuse of the above application can cause
Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer. Beer is a very
bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the
background that will eventually seize control of all your system
resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These
are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.

In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and
cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better
running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software
to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.

Good Luck,
Tech Support