For Lexiphiles only

FOR LEXIPHILES ONLY


Okay, you Lexiphiles, you lovers-of-words, you, beside the old "stand-bys" such as, "You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish" or " I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me," here are more for you to enjoy.....



*To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

*When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

*A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

*When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

*The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes
was on shaky ground.

*The batteries were given out free of charge.

*After a dentist and a manicurist married, they
fought tooth and nail.

*A will is a dead give-away.

*If you don't pay your exorcist, you can get re-possessed.


*With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

*Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft
and I'll show you A-flat miner.

*You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

*A boiled egg is hard to beat.

*When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

*Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old
was resisting a rest.

*Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now.

*If you take a lap-top computer for a run, you could jog your memory.

*A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two-tired.

*In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism,
it's your Count that votes.

*When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

*The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully re-covered.

*He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

*Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

*When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

*Acupuncture: A jab well done.