How Safe Do You Feel These Days? What Can We Do Together About it?
I no longer feel as safe as I used to.
How about you? Do you think that the worlds in which you live are becoming more dangerous? What threats might you perceive? What could enhance your safety?
What do you, dear reader, do when you don’t feel safe? Reach out to friends? Or do you deny those feelings, retreat, and try to hide under the covers? What threatens your feelings of security?
Fear seems to be growing in the United States, even in our beloved Sonoma County, Northern California, where I have lived and worked on a farm in the countryside for the last 24 years.
This article intends to express some feelings and pose questions to stimulate both deep feelings and thinking. If the questions get too much, you can skip to the final section: “A BETTER WORLD IS POSSIBLE.”
What enhances feelings of safety? Internal and external factors seem to combine to create either more or less safety. Among the factors that enhance safety can be friends, family, a good job, and living with or near people whom you love and trust.
Near the end of 2016, I began to feel less safe. I became deeply concerned about what is happening here in the United States, as well as elsewhere on this Earth.
Unless one closes their eyes and tunes out information, ignoring the signs of dramatic pending change, feeling less safe is likely. What do you, realistically, expect your future and our futures to be like? Better or potentially worse? What would you suggest we do to get from here to a better world?
Selecting the best place to live and creating a network of close friends would help enhance safety. As would moving beyond denial and accepting that our early 2017 world is more unpredictable than even a couple of months ago.
This seems to be an especially unpredictable time for more vulnerable groups—the poor, dark skinned, immigrants, and those of non-Christian religions.
I migrated from a large urban setting to rural Sebastopol in l992, partly because a big city was feeling increasingly unsafe. I’ve felt pretty safe on my farm with its immediate access to food, water, good people, and meaningful work.
Now I hear more people considering moving away. Some to Canada. Others further away, especially to Latin America. Born in California I plan to stay, try to understand what is happening and how best to cope with it both personally and beyond myself.
Groups doing good work enhance my feeling of safety. Among them are the Grange, farm groups, some churches, and neighborhood groups.
Some places offer welcoming safe havens, or sanctuaries, to all. Some groups are more hostile, based on factors such as skin color, race, religion, country of origin, sexual and gender identity, politics, and other factors.
“Perilous optimism” is a concept that I read about in Santa Rosa author Richard Heinberg’s book The Party’s Over. What in our current historical moment gives you less optimism for our futures?
“The Times They Are A-Changing” musician and poet Bob Dylan wrote, decades ago. The pace of those evolving and pending changes seems to be quickening.
What threatens you? Members of your family? Governments—local, national, or foreign? Who do you turn to when you feel unsafe or threatened? Who or what would you avoid? How are you preparing for potential changes?
“My experience is that most of my growth takes place when I am uncomfortable and shaken out of my illusions of safety and forced to confront the challenging parts of myself, of life,” my friend Scott DuRoff commented after reading a draft of this article.
“When I think of safety in general, one of the first things that pops up for me is the desire to keep my freedoms safe,” a close woman friend responded. “Our worldly freedoms are definitely being compromised.”
"A sense of innocence infuses U.S. culture, like a Happy Face running away from the nation’s transgressions” commented author and psychologist Chellis Glendinning,” who moved to Bolivia a number of years ago. “But that does not represent the world we’re living in--particularly as downturns in the economic, ecological, social, psychological, and spiritual realms become so entangled we don’t know which will do us in first.”
A BETTER WORLD IS POSSIBLE
After expressing my feelings in the rough draft of this article, receiving feedback from friends, and listening to the good news of protests around the U.S. and the world, my feelings changed drastically. As one friend responded to my draft, “We need to understand our fears in order overcome them.”
By expressing and thus discharging them, I became excited about the apparent start of a mass movement to improve our safety and deal with the sources of our fears. The last time I had such an elated feeling was nearly half a century ago—during the civil rights and peace movement of the 60s.
After the last two months of feeling down and scared, I went to a Martin Luther King, Jr. birthday commemoration and later heard him on the radio. I heard him in person when I was a young officer in the U.S. Army headed for the American Wars on Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia. I decided to resign my commission and join those mass movements, willing to suffer the consequences, which included a limited time in jail.
In l968, a group of us drove from Chicago to Dr. King’s funeral in Atlanta and then joined 42,000 marchers in Memphis to honor him. Given our out-of-state license plates, we were targeted and literally stoned. Much was accomplished by our direct actions during those years. Mass non-violent movements drew us together and seem to once again be growing into a millions-strong response. That makes me feel safer and thus willing to take risks in the company of others.
When one feels down, engaging in action with others can break down the isolation. This has been happening at Standing Rock by Native Americans and their allies and at protests around the U.S. Join them.
STAND UP! FIGHT BACK! A better world IS possible!
Re: How Safe Do You Feel These Days? What Can We Do Together About it?
Shepard, thank you so much for these words
Re: How Safe Do You Feel These Days? What Can We Do Together About it?
Thanks so much, Shepherd, for expressing what you are experiencing in these fierce times. I appreciate your transparency and your invitation to the rest of us to express ourselves. As a therapist and life coach, I know the great value in this: facing into and honoring all our feelings, expressing, grieving, being outraged, feeling big fear. And, as you mention, the solace and feelings of safety in connecting with one another in our humanity.
For me, at first I felt that the earth had shifted beneath me. Then tremendous grief moved through me, my tears flowing copiously for several days. This offered me a sense of release so I could emerge from being emotionally "frozen" and respond more freely in other ways. I experienced, through my grieving, a doorway into gratitude for all that is precious.
I'm noticing too, that I am lowering my voice when, on occasion, I mention that I'm a Jewish woman. This is extremely disturbing to me and connects me to my ancestry and all my brothers and sisters in this world who are hated and oppressed for who they are culturally, racially, religiously, sexually, etc.
Now, as I choose to swing into action, I am feeling more hopeful too. I can rest back into the amazing camaraderie in the community of others getting involved and I see the great possibility for the people to rise up in a way that hasn't happened for a very long time. I was also active in the movement of the sixties. I remind myself now: that was a powerful time that did shift things in this country. It can happen again. The door is wide open for this.
I feel something deep stirring in me; a profound connection with and gratitude for the miracle of life on this earth. For all the living beings in the great web of creation. For my/our exquisite physical manifestation of the spiritual presence we truly are. I send forth my gratitude. And, I am dusting off my old activist coat and getting to work!
Quote:
Posted in reply to the post by Shepherd:
I no longer feel as safe as I used to. ...
Re: How Safe Do You Feel These Days? What Can We Do Together About it?
Quote:
Posted in reply to the post by Shepherd:
I no longer feel as safe as I used to. ...
good emphasis on feelings of safety. Shepherd, you remember as well as I do the under-the-desk drills in first grade. The world is measurably safer than it's ever been. But people don't feel that way, and that's a real problem. How you feel is incredibly important to your quality of life, far more so than your logical, dispassionate analysis of reality.
and one thing's inarguable - part of these feelings come from negative political and social trends. You may not be in any more risk than you've been in the past, especially risk of physical harm, but I've met few people who find comfort in that.
People feel better when they exert control over what they can, and influence what they can. I can't think of much better advice than for people to engage.
Re: How Safe Do You Feel These Days? What Can We Do Together About it?
Many responses have been made to versions of this post, which has also been published nationally at over half a dozen places. The following comment was made to a pre-publication draft that I sent out to local friends requesting feedback. This response to the question of feeling safe was made before I added the second section “A Better World IS Possible.”
This is one local person’s responses to the questions. I have shortened the questions to highlight his words, which are in italics. I welcome further responses. If you would like links to some of the growing number of places where my article is being published, you can request them by an email to me at [email protected], where you can also send private responses that you do not want posted.
Let me add that I have male, white skin, heterosexual, basically Christian, class privilege, though that is not the whole story. Some of my non-white and “other” friends feel even less safe than I do—our loses. Some have already left or are making plans to leave the U.S. We are losing some of the valuable people who have made this country the diverse place that it has been becoming, after years of struggles to be fair to all humans and practice what the Statue of Liberty says:
"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
Let’s WAKE UP, before it is too late!
My questions and friend’s responses follow:
What can enhance the feeling of safety? My feelings of being safe mostly depends on my state of mind. In my life it fluctuates. Social influences mainly affects my trust in Human's. I grew up in N.Y.C. mainly in the late 50's, 60's, and early 70's; my community and neighborhood was safe to be out in the world as a kid mostly within my community. And at the same time the City had very dangerous areas and elements. as any other child growing up in the City I quickly learned how to navigate my environments.
What do you, dear reader, do when you don’t feel safe? A first I retreat and protect myself, and then try to see what it is that I don't feel safe about, and why. If I don't resolve those unsafe feelings then I try to stay out of harms way.
What enhances feelings of safety? Mainly if I can face my fears and really look at them is what I prefer. And intimate connections with people and the worlds around me and in me help me face those fears; and as a result dissipates those unsafe feelings.
What patterns have you noticed emerging? When change accelerates more than what people are used to fear grows, and anger and fear become a collective expression.
What would you suggest we do to get from here to a better world? Honestly, I can see the future taking a variety of possible turns. I know for sure that bigotry and narrow mindedness and negative consciousness will be playing out. Staying within whatever enlightenment we receive, and holding one's ground (being centered, claiming a stance) gives way to let our hearts and spirit lead us.
It seems an especially more unpredictable time for more vulnerable groups—the poor, dark skinned, immigrants, and those of non-Christian religions. Maybe in this unpredictable time an urgency for unity amongst people who disagree with the negative consciousness that has been erupted, will jerk us from our complacency.
“Perilous optimism” is a concept that I read about in Santa Rosa author Richard Heinberg’s book The Party’s Over. What in our current historical moment gives you less optimism for our futures? In looking at our human histories there are patterns which lead to separation and a destructive direction within a society of people; and it starts with mass fear.
“The Times They Are A-Changing” musician and poet Bob Dylan wrote, decades ago. The pace of those evolving and pending changes seems to be quickening. There may be other poems, songs, or books that you could refer us to. John Lennon's "Imagine"; The Temptations "Ball of Confusion" ; The Bird's " To Everything There is a Season"; " A Magical Universe" by The Best of Magical Blend Magazine. The list could be almost endless, these are what just comes to mind for now.
I am not sure what to do with my lessening feelings of safety. What, dear reader, might you suggest? For me: The Earth (esp. water environments), music (listening and playing), writing, basically anything I can do or witness that is part of the creative process; and intimate connections with other beings life.
What threatens you? Members of your family? Governments—local, national, or foreign? People's ignorance, specifically those who act out of their ignorance; cause we all have some ignorance. People going through life seeing things as dead and not living; And exalted egos.
Who do you turn to when you feel unsafe or threatened? Who or what would you avoid? How are you preparing for potential changes? The Earth, The Ancestors, People who live from a place of love, as an example in history and those who ,are close to me, are those who I turn to. I avoid the harmful energies, such as: hatred, confusion, over inflated self importance, destructive addictions, bad JuJu.
Perhaps new and better days will soon emerge. What do you think? It is possible; First, I feel that some more ugliness will expose itself, and because of that people with good intentions will come out of complacency.
What to do? For myself I feel we need (no longer a luxury) to speak and live our truth. We need to embrace our world, without and within. If people can see who they are in relation to our human society, and in relation to the Earth we are from, it will open the doors to the magic. I am approaching the age range as an elder, and in this stage of my life I have a strong desire to be there for the younger generations. It is for me important to connect to them, especially the children; They need us, and we need them.
Shepherd, I like to thank you for presenting this inquiry to others. I feel this is a process which has become a learning experience for me, and a beautiful opportunity to connect with my community. With loving Gratitude, Gary.
Re: How Safe Do You Feel These Days? What Can We Do Together About it?
My friend Erin Riley is currently out of the country. She responded as follows:
“I have thought more about safety since reading your article, which of course causes me to think about my fears. I am feeling very positive these days and my fears have been in the background mostly. I believe this is a result of practicing what I am learning in my Buddhist studies that all suffering is caused by attachment and aversion. I have been working to let that sink in for several years now.
But also, and maybe even more personal and poignant for me is that I am facing my very worst fear RIGHT NOW. That being, as most any parent would say, is the loss of my own child. Having been forced to face my worst fear, I am beginning to experience a unique freedom that is hard to describe.
It seems to me that the real truth is that we are not safe and we never really have been. Maybe now we are simply being challenged in the illusion of safety we have been living in. For the moment, we may be safe, so we must live and love this moment.
I see this as a control/letting go of control issue? It seems to me that when we feel our lives and environments are predictable and controllable, we feel "safe.” When we realize that this is an illusion, we are forced to find safety in letting go of the control we think we have and find safety within or else live in fear. I firmly believe that love, if we give it power, is the only anecdote for hate and fear.”
Re: How Safe Do You Feel These Days? What Can We Do Together About it?
I try to keep everything in perspective. Never before in the history of humans have we been blessed with average lifespans of 75 plus years. Never before have we had so much food that for most too much is the problem not starvation. Never before have so many diseases been treatable. Never before have we had the ability to travel the world, make our own movies, talk to someone other other side of the world. Never before have our transportation systems been so safe. And on and on. If you examine human history the only logical conclusion is these are the best of times.
But also true is.
Trump is a con, a monster and a thug there is no doubt and we need to do all we can to protect the people he has targeted. I feel the dread felt by so many. I find solace on my boat on the Pacific Ocean. The waves and all the critters living there don't care one wit about any of it. When I sped time in nature or in the garden. I don't care either. Playing music helps too.
Protesting may help but the real answer
is putting democrats and independents back in the majority in The House. They are all up for election in 2018. The majority of our money and effort needs to go there. If we can put the House in the hands of the democrats they will have subpoena power and can begin to unwind the trump horror show. There are 13 republican congress people in California, lets see if we can cut that to 5 in 2018. The votes are there in those districts we just need to get every one of them to the polls in 2018.
Re: How Safe Do You Feel These Days? What Can We Do Together About it?
I choose not to live in fear. Crime? I live in a low crime area but do take reasonable precautions. Natural Disaster? NOt much I can do. I should prepare an earthquake kit. I guess I cannot think of anything else to fear. The chances of an earthquake or crime is much higher than a terrorist attack.
Re: How Safe Do You Feel These Days? What Can We Do Together About it?
Quote:
Posted in reply to the post by Sieglinde:
I choose not to live in fear. ...
Yet fear can be a lifesaver and prevent one from being wounded. I fear fire, which leads me to take measures to protect my farm and home and teach young people not only about the beauty of fire but of its capacity to burn, burn, burn.
The bees on my farm are essential, and I have never been stung by them in my 24 years farming. That is because I respect them, fear their stings, and stay away from their hives, which they protect fearlessly. Yet those same bees can be pollinating at the same time that I am working on the berries. Their hard work potentiates my hard work.
I remember sitting around campfires as a child and telling/listening to ghost stories, which sometimes made us scream; it was lots of fun. I also appreciate the contributions of fire. There is a lot that you can do to protect yourself from natural disasters and limit their harm.
In terms of "terrorist attack," I would doubt that you were at the unexpected 9/11. I was at the "other 9/11" in Chile, when the fascists took out a democratic government, so I fled, in fear. Perhaps you did not lose family in the holocaust and were not born into a family, as I was, which lost our Iowa farmland during The Depression.
We live in an unpredictable time where change is certainly on the way. The issue, in my opinion, is whether it will be for the better or for worse. It is time to wake up from the spell that has been cast on many Americans.
Appropriate fear can be protective and life enhancing. Now, Sieglinde, it is your turn to continue the dialogue. May we do so in mutual respect for different points of view.
Re: How Safe Do You Feel These Days? What Can We Do Together About it?
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Posted in reply to the post by Shepherd:
Yet fear can be a lifesaver ...
Of course, reasonable fear causes reasonable precautions. But I have known people who have fear of things that are never going to happen. Sure if you are walking along the trail and see a snake, it could be a Pacific Rattler. That is not the fear I see in people. The bees, snake, camp fire etc. are situational fears. I am afraid (no pun intended) that folks are fearful of things that will not happen.
Re: How Safe Do You Feel These Days? What Can We Do Together About it?
I appreciate this measured response. I am currently listening to Amy Goodman's Democracy Now report from the inauguration on KPFA-FM, 94.1. The chaos has already begun in Washington, D.C. and elsewhere. Yes, who knows what will "happen." But we do know that we are about to take a great change in course.
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Posted in reply to the post by Sieglinde:
Of course, reasonable fear causes reasonable precautions. But I have known people who have fear of things that are never going to happen....
Re: How Safe Do You Feel These Days? What Can We Do Together About it?
That is a reasonble fear. I am taking a wait and see attitude. I have discovered in my long voting career (my first Presidential election was in 1972) that your local city council, county supervisor board and state government have a much greater impact on your daily life. Of course if Federal programs are affected or a Supreme Court ruling goes wrong, that can affect your life. But it is more likely your local government.
Quote:
Posted in reply to the post by Shepherd:
I appreciate this measured response. I am currently listening to Amy Goodman's Democracy Now report from the inauguration on KPFA-FM, 94.1. The chaos has already begun in Washington, D.C. and elsewhere. Yes, who knows what will "happen." But we do know that we are about to take a great change in course.
~Re: How Safe Do You Feel These Days? What Can We Do Together About it?
Shepherd,
Thank you for asking this and other questions, which provide a way to move inward, which is where all feelings reside as responses or reactions to outer stimuli, and our own "self-talk".
Since Nov 31st, I've been living my "worst fear"....HOMELESSNESS. Fortunately, I've not had to live in my car, and have been invited to live with Wacco members who themselves are in cramped quarters with their pets, both dogs and cats. Being homeless with a cat or dog, adds increasing difficulty and stress to a life with no home. Only yesterday, while giving a ride to someone who needed to see the doctor, I noticed a homeless man with his cat. I had a few cans of cat food that I'd bought for my cat, so I stopped to give those to him, along with $20. He said he'd been homeless for a year. His cat was sleeping on a pillow resting on muddy grass. He began to cry as he told me that his dog, a golden retriever, had died recently. I couldn't spend more time with him, since I had to pick up my friend from the clinic.
My friend had an interesting, but disturbing response when I told him about the homeless man. He said "He's homeless by choice!" I responded with "I'm homeless, and it's not by choice! He had no response. I wondered how many of us are quick to judge those who have no home? If not for a gracious friend, offering her couch, some of you may have seen me and my cat on a street corner. I would look different from having no where to bathe, or clean clothes, and the signs of despair and depression on my face and in my eyes.
As a senior disabled woman, I'm very vulnerable, but without shelter, even more so. I could go into a shelter, but I will not give up my cat. Shelters aren't that much safer than the street (with theft and drug use in addition to the mentally ill), but it does provide a bed, a roof, and some food. But many shelters force people to leave by 7am, to be out in the elements all day before they can return at night to get in a line that's "first come, first served". I've been spared that life, or I don't think I'd be here to tell you about it. Who would have helped me? Taken me in? More than likely, I'd have been judged or pitied....or dead.
I will share that the friend who took me in is someone I haven't known for years, but a person that I'verecently helped with her health needs. None of the friends I've had for years, were able to provide shelter, and some even looked the other way by not communicating with me anymore. Maybe fearful that I would ask for help? I felt very sad about this, but it's a reality I have to face.
I posted here about my housing need, and finally offered a reward. While staying with my friend, I couldn't get online much because of a weak Wifi connection. So, this made my CL housing search even more difficult, along with my inability to connect online with email. Yeah, I don't use a smart phone just yet.
Even before I offered the reward, a friend in Lake County, offered to post my CL ads, and receive responses for me. I was going to the Senior Center Computer Lab in Rohnert Park to get online, but the heavy rains made it difficult, and I was dealing with a sprained ankle from falling down my friend's stairs. It still hurts, but after 6 weeks of dragging myself up and down her stairs, it's getting better.
Now for some good news. My friend got a response that connected me to a room rental in Petaluma, with a woman and her 19 year old daughter. They were open to having my cat Mitzy, come in....to live with their 2 small dogs and a cat. Even though I know this will be a challenge, I had to take this opportunity, after seeing so many ads saying "No Pets". I desperately want my own room, and to be able to cook food instead of buying prepared foods every day. Some friends have brought a meal or two, which I appreciated.
When I sent an email letting friends know about my upcoming move, and my lack of knowledge about how to introduce my MitZy to the dogs/cat, I actually got detailed instructions from an "online" Wacco member, whom I've never met. I can't imagine anyone taking the time to do what she did to assist me in this next phase of my life, which will require patience during a stressful transition. I'm so grateful!
My Lake County friend got a $100 reward from me, and I know she can use it as a low income disabled woman, who in spite of having the flu, continued to post for me. I only wish it could have been more. She will be having thyroid surgery in Feb. and will need a driver or drivers to get her to UCSF. I've suggested that she get someone from Lake County to drive her to Santa Rosa, and then have someone take her to SF. I'm willing to help with gas, but am unable to drive the distances involved. Her IHSS workers haven't been very reliable, so she can't count on them. The county doesn't provide transportation for this kind of situation. So,I'm trying to help her figure it out.
I may have gotten off track with my personal story, but all our fear is very personal. I know people who are irrationally fearful of the unknown such as computers, dogs/cats, freeways, etc. PTSD can become so much a part of who we are, it's something we may live with for the rest of our lives. A fearful experience can change us forever. But some people, such as Shepherd, have found a way through this dark passage, to a place of light....maybe not without a healthy fear of fearful things, such as bees, but takes precautions with them because he's aware and informed about their behavior. I think Shepherd is a model for all of us. Being aware and informed is a smart strategy, and can help us avoid risks to our life, and theft of our stuff. Texting while driving isn't wise for the driver, passengers, or others. But in spite of what people know about the dangers, they continue this risky behavior. Sometimes, people need to be disciplined from outside of themselves, and hopefully in the future this behavior will not be possible. Some tragedies can be prevented by a higher level of awareness. Danger accompanies all of us at home or out in the world. Our vulnerability begins inside ourselves, and it's also where our defensive action is initiated through our mental powers.
Safety is an illusion we give ourselves to survive, but at any time, something can happen, even in the next moment, to shatter that feeling. Even the wealthy get hit with news of their children's death or disease, or ripped off by professional thieves, or lose their own health, wealth, and lives from circumstances beyond their money's control.
I've read that many people will die in the near future from lack of health care, and that seems to be a very possible reality. All the more reason not to rely on traditional health care. Time to look at the healing potential of cannabis and other natural methods without "fearful" side effects.
If we step up to actually help our friends and neighbors in need, we can make our home a better place. I have a fantasy of each person helping one person, and the difference that would make. I've seen it in my own life. I feel compelled to share, even with my limited resources. This is where our power lies:
This is the time, This is the place, We are the people~ :heart:
