A Handful of Peaceful, Generous Women

Did I realize when I went to playfully invite a certain kind of men, namely unmarried, kind, and playful also, to meet my girlfriends and I on a couple of occasions at the Underwood for some socializing, that I would end up writing for the next week to people of all creeds and kinds, with attitudes ranging the full gamut of the spectrum? NO...I didn't realize the door I was opening.

Here are some things I have learned:

I appear to be able to communicate colorfully enough to elicit, in one simple ad, reactions from love to anger, and lust to lonliness.

I haven't really done anything else of value in my life this week, due to all the (mostly private) writing.

Because of the above, I decided I'd better evolve in some Northern direction due to the heartfelt energy I have given these/you people.

I have observed that many people read what they want to hear. They miss or misconstrue vital intentions. Such is the downfall of language, or perhaps my use of it.

I recieved praise from women who felt much like we do...sharing similar values in the men they wish to attract, and loving seeing those wishes simply asked for in a simple ad, naming a time and place to interact.

I recieved a delightful embrace from a man who saw the love and lightheartedness in my attempt to meet with more people, and honestly send it into the world.

I recieved angry letters from people hurt so badly, they could not fathom meeting with us disgusting, wretched women.

I recieved letters with attached resumes, and pictures, asking if I personally wished for their presence.

I received a letter asking my advice on how to deal with women.

I received letters telling me how I should do it...what I'd done wrong, and that we should all wear name tags.

I recieved letters asking me to dinner.

And recently, a letter from someone angry that the nice place I enjoy hanging out at has overridden their Latino community. As if it was an intentional war against a group of people I happen to love.

This I have to say...
What I liked about the Underwood Project was setting myself in a public room of people, where some are invited, some just happen to be there, and seeing where the night took me. There was mystery, intrigue, and the energy shifted as the people shifted, so that the pressure you might feel in a singles event was minimized. In fact, I underwent some pressure despite the theory! But I handled it. Lol

After the affair and the many, many letters I have written and continue to write in response to it, I am stickin' to the woods for awhile.

What my girlfriends and I noticed that rather shocked us was that most of the men who came in after the first lot, on both nights, were too afraid to break through the circles that had begun to form to even say "Hi". We thought that men were the hunters...the one's who see what they want and take a risk to get it. That's what we thought testosterone is all about. We wondered if the water in Sonoma County has been spiked with some sort of drug, which subjugates its expression. We understand that men are fragile, that their egos will sometimes need stroking, but we are left with a feeling of invisibility. Next time, we shall refrain from using deodorant! Lol.

My hope is that this project will gain a following of copy cats, after reading the praise of those who enjoyed the concept. I am hoping that some of the men will pull up their boot-straps and put what it is they are looking for in women out there, inviting them to a place they identify with.

I hope that the beautiful Latinos will put up postings, and make affirmations, lovingly asking for what it is they want in Graton, in their homeland, in their lives.

Visualize what it is you want in great detail. Do not ever allow negative or fearful thoughts to invade your vision...clearly see what it is you want. What does she smell like? How does her laugh sound? What does the light in your home look like? What is the color of the walls? What about the flowers you set on your table? How does your bed feel when you lie down, or when you wake up in the middle of the night staring into the darkness? What do you do when your loved one weeps? Do you hear tears of laughter or sorrow? What do you do to bring comfort? How do you feel when you are with Him/her? What does his hair feel like between your fingers? What do you do to prepare yourself when you are about to see her? Where do you see yourself each day...working or tending to your garden? What will you plant next, and how tall will it grow before it begins bearing fruit? Think of the love you feel from your friends....how they make you laugh even at the things that are terrible in our shared society. Put those thoughts into the world. Be very specific. She is walking toward you. You are building the home of your dreams. He has his arm around you.

Life is a bitch for all of us.
We each decide from moment to moment, whether we are happy or sad, victim or victor.

I ask that you please post your messages publicly, so that the rest of the world can assist me in helping us all evolve, and I can continue with the other areas in my life.

Lovingly,
Andrea

I enjoyed reading your report of events regarding your gathering. It seems so complete and clear.. I was also surprised to learn of the male humans who seemingly were lacking the required intestinal fortitude, or whatever it takes, to find you once in the establishment. I can't think of even one female of my acquaintance who would have behaved similarly. It is too bad that the male energy we want in our lives isn't more like that we depend on for life itself to continue in the form of our women friends. Blessings, Mindy.

Not knowing the layout of the restaurant/bistro, whatever it's called, could you please explain your comments about being surprised at the lack of male assertiveness from the late arrivals?

What did you expect the late arrivals to do? For some reason I have this image/thought in my head of you expecting them to come up to you, knock you on the head with a big club and drag you away by the hair from whoever you were speaking with. I don't think that's quite what you meant by your comments, though. :)

So, if you would be kind enough to go into a little more detail about how the group did the lovely shifting you wrote about, what your group may have looked like to a late arrival, whether or not they were welcomed by the women who organized the event, etc, and what your hopes were for their behavior, I really would appreciate it.

Thanks.

Hello,
I for one had no expectations, or hope, that anyone would knock us on the head and drag us away........puhleeeeze!Aren't we supposed to be a peaceful and concious community, and/or attempting to be?

The idea was a fun, friendly and safe way to meet new people.
Not sure what we looked like to the folks walking into the bistro. We did our best to appear friendly, make eye contact with anyone and everyone, in an attempt to make them feel comfortable enough to approach us. So yes, we did our best to welcome folks. It was our hope we would meet new and interesting people....and we did, both male and female.

We hoped our invitation would embolden people to say "hello." So many did NOT say hello and have written long diatribes on how intimidating it was, and judgements on what it was we were really after, ad nauseam, but I digress.

It was a fun and spontaneous idea, and as stated in the invitation, we were going to have a good time, whether or not anyone joined in the fun. And we did..........until all the spiteful letters started coming in. (not yours, really, yours is mild mannered compared to the others.)
My friend has been very generous with her time replying to each person that wrote..........now I am stepping in to say, "enough."

We regret it has stirred so much pain and frustration in many of you. We are also delighted by the responses that let us know we inspired some folks to get clarity on their dreams and desires.

I want to thank my friend for her generosity, and giving us all a "little slap up the side of our heads" ...........(as one of our new friends from the "underwood project" would say)......... and put us in a thinking, feeling mode.

It seems to me, we now have an incredible opportunity to shake ourselves awake and do something positive, and creative, if we choose to take action in that direction. Regrettably, so many of the responses indicate some folks would rather pontificate on whatever they judged were the errors in our thinking and behavior.

I thank you for your curiousity. I encourage you, and everyone, to be more friendly to each other.
All the Best!
Dreamer

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Posted in reply to the post by AnneCatherine:

Not knowing the layout of the restaurant/bistro, whatever it's called, could you please explain your comments about being surprised at the lack of male assertiveness from the late arrivals?

What did you expect the late arrivals to do? For some reason I have this image/thought in my head of you expecting them to come up to you, knock you on the head with a big club and drag you away by the hair from whoever you were speaking with. I don't think that's quite what you meant by your comments, though. :)

So, if you would be kind enough to go into a little more detail about how the group did the lovely shifting you wrote about, what your group may have looked like to a late arrival, whether or not they were welcomed by the women who organized the event, etc, and what your hopes were for their behavior, I really would appreciate it.

Thanks.

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Hello again.

I thought your plan for a get-together at your favorite restaurant was a clever idea. I'm sorry to hear that you received such unpleasant responses from a few folks.

This whole conversation seems to have pushed many buttons of various kinds in many people. For instance, my initial contribution to the conversation elicited several private emails from people who applauded me for articulating something that apparently rings very very true for them.

I love it when that happens.

Re: your frustration with the men who didn't initiate conversation with you--if for whatever reason you won't take the risk to initiate conversation with them, you certainly can't complain that they won't do it. Many of us men, especially those who are shy with women (and that includes me), resent the expectation that we bear the onus for initiating contact while women are held exempt from that scary responsibility. Don't forget that by invoking traditional sex roles here, you are opening Pandora's box. For one thing, the masculine aggressiveness you'd like to see a little of often comes with a huge dark side. Also, if you're slow to free men from their traditional sex role expectations, you sure can't expect them to support your liberation from yours.

Thanks for "listening".

Blessings on ya;

Dixon

I am one of those who went on one of the nights and failed to make contact. I have subsequently had private correspondence (I hope not "ad nauseam") with both Dreamer and Andrea in which I hope some measure of understanding was reached. I only wish I could express my thoughts as well as Dixon, who in my opinion has hit the mark exactly in a couple of postings. I have already put my point of view as clearly as I am able, so I will not reiterate it here.

I am happy to be able to participate in this kind of discussion as I get not only valuable insights into the point of view of others, but also an object lesson in human communication and its shortcomings. Just getting what I am carrying inside expressed in words is only the start; others will then read it through their own set of filters and interpret what they thought they read in ways that I never thought to exclude! Then the whole process is repeated in reverse! Then the delay factor inherent in online discussion throws its particular wrench into the works (by the time my response to someone else's response appears the discussion may have taken a whole different turn) and it is a joy and a wonder when any meaningful communication takes place at all.

I didn't mean to get so philosophical; I really just meant to thank and support Dixon.

Patrick

Hi there Dixon,
We did try to initiate conversation. There is a huge difference between aggressiveness and assertiveness. I wasn't looking for either of those qualities per se, and know I would be attracted to OPENness.

Seems you've been applauded for putting us in our place, and good for you. Funny thing is, we all ready knew our place; likewise received several rounds of applause.

Like I said before, it's great that we are thinking about what it is we really want, and hopefully getting clarity. More introspection, less projection of all those pushed buttons is what we need now. Peace, Brothers!

To anyone else reading this: Let's play nice boys and girls, and stop picking this to pieces. ..."let's love one another right now, right now, right now" (my new favorite song line).
With thanks,
Dream on!

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Posted in reply to the post by Dixon:

Hello again.

I thought your plan for a get-together at your favorite restaurant was a clever idea. I'm sorry to hear that you received such unpleasant responses from a few folks.

This whole conversation seems to have pushed many buttons of various kinds in many people. For instance, my initial contribution to the conversation elicited several private emails from people who applauded me for articulating something that apparently rings very very true for them.

I love it when that happens.

Re: your frustration with the men who didn't initiate conversation with you--if for whatever reason you won't take the risk to initiate conversation with them, you certainly can't complain that they won't do it. Many of us men, especially those who are shy with women (and that includes me), resent the expectation that we bear the onus for initiating contact while women are held exempt from that scary responsibility. Don't forget that by invoking traditional sex roles here, you are opening Pandora's box. For one thing, the masculine aggressiveness you'd like to see a little of often comes with a huge dark side. Also, if you're slow to free men from their traditional sex role expectations, you sure can't expect them to support your liberation from yours.

Thanks for "listening".

Blessings on ya;

Dixon

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Posted in reply to the post by Patrick:

I am one of those who went on one of the nights and failed to make contact.
{snip}
I am happy to be able to participate in this kind of discussion as I get not only valuable insights into the point of view of others, but also an object lesson in human communication and its shortcomings. {snip} it is a joy and a wonder when any meaningful communication takes place at all.{snip}

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Seems like there is alot of meaningful communication going on! Yes, there are a lot of filters and projections being applied too. However, having the courage to state your point of view here in public, as Patrick has done so eloquently, where it can be reflected by others helps to clear away the haze for all of us!

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Posted in reply to the post by watchin:

Did I realize when I went to playfully invite a certain kind of men, namely unmarried, kind, and playful also, to meet my girlfriends and I on a couple of occasions at the Underwood for some socializing, that I would end up writing for the next week to people of all creeds and kinds, with attitudes ranging the full gamut of the spectrum? NO...I didn't realize the door I was opening.

Here are some things I have learned:
{snip}

Lovingly,
Andrea

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Andrea, please do not retreat to the woods!
Congratulations on eliciting this bounty of response.
Do It Some More.
Your research having just begun, shrink not from your data!

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Posted in reply to the post by dreamer:

We did try to initiate conversation.

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Oh. Well, that puts a little different light on things. Thanks for that clarification.

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Posted in reply to the post by dreamer:

Seems you've been applauded for putting us in our place, and good for you.

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After all the effort I made to choose my words carefully and to be balanced in what I said, an effort that was noticeable enough to elicit appreciative comments from a couple of respondents, it's disheartening to hear my efforts described as "putting (you) in (your) place".

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Posted in reply to the post by dreamer:

...we all ready knew our place; likewise received several rounds of applause.

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I know; I was one of those who applauded you, remember? ("I thought your plan for a get-together at your favorite restaurant was a clever idea").

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Posted in reply to the post by dreamer:

Like I said before, it's great that we are thinking about what it is we really want, and hopefully getting clarity.

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I agree, and I think this kind of dialogue, button-pushing as it may be, helps immeasurably in getting clarity.

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Posted in reply to the post by dreamer:

To anyone else reading this: Let's play nice boys and girls, and stop picking this to pieces.

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That's probably a good idea, but are you quite sure you're done picking at it?

Love;

Dixon

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Posted in reply to the post by alanora:

I was also surprised to learn of the male humans who seemingly were lacking the required intestinal fortitude, or whatever it takes, to find you once in the establishment. I can't think of even one female of my acquaintance who would have behaved similarly. It is too bad that the male energy we want in our lives isn't more like that we depend on for life itself to continue in the form of our women friends. Blessings, Mindy.

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I think that this comment, and others like it, miss an important point. Both men and women embody both male and female energy in infinitely variable proportions. The fact that someone happens to be a man does not automatically mean that he displays "male" qualities exclusively, or even primarily. The same is true, mutatis mutandis, for women. I, for instance, can think of several women of my acquaintance who would likely have behaved as ascribed above to males lacking in intestinal fortitude (though I am not certain what bearing my intestines have on my willingness to overcome physical and social barriers to achieve contact.) Similarly I know men who are nurturing friends that I would certainly depend on for life itself.

Perhaps we are too ready to think of people in binary terms, and we might benefit from remembering that human qualities of all kinds usually fall somewhere on a scale between two end points. It is rare indeed to encounter people any of whose attributes actually fall at or near either end point. So can we please avoid this kind of categorical thinking and recognize that we are all complex beings with many, often conflicting qualities?

Patrick

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Posted in reply to the post by Looksgood:

I think that this comment, and others like it, miss an important point. Both men and women embody both male and female energy in infinitely variable proportions. The fact that someone happens to be a man does not automatically mean that he displays "male" qualities exclusively, or even primarily. The same is true, mutatis mutandis, for women. I, for instance, can think of several women of my acquaintance who would likely have behaved as ascribed above to males lacking in intestinal fortitude (though I am not certain what bearing my intestines have on my willingness to overcome physical and social barriers to achieve contact.) Similarly I know men who are nurturing friends that I would certainly depend on for life itself.

Perhaps we are too ready to think of people in binary terms, and we might benefit from remembering that human qualities of all kinds usually fall somewhere on a scale between two end points. It is rare indeed to encounter people any of whose attributes actually fall at or near either end point. So can we please avoid this kind of categorical thinking and recognize that we are all complex beings with many, often conflicting qualities?

Patrick

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I stand corrected, and am aware of the continuum upon which all our human qualities if placed would not necessarily fall in a way to indicate gender. Especially in our locale! I apologize if my remarks sounded like male bashing...intestinal fortitude was a choice I'd made that bordered on silly, thinking it would be inoffensive yet clear. And my experience is obviously different than yours has been. I will remember the nurturing side of the men I've known before typing in the future. I will also remember my tendency to want men to be more like my women friends. I will check inside and make sure I am not reacting to a male of the past. (I will make sure I click on the reply privately box.) Please forgive any incorrect ommissions or inclusions. Our language has its limitations when speaking face to face, I am discovering that they multiply greatly without benefit of inflection, expression and hand gestures! Thanks Patrick...Mindy

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Posted in reply to the post by alanora:

Thanks Patrick...Mindy

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...and thank you, Mindy, for a very gracious response.

Patrick

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Posted in reply to the post by alanora:

Thanks Patrick...Mindy

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Posted in reply to the post by Looksgood:

...and thank you, Mindy, for a very gracious response. Patrick

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Thanks for the good read, you "guys"! [Un-PC, sorry!]. Kind of gives one hope!

I too was a bit put off and confused by Mindy's previous post, but I am impressed with her growthful, open-minded/hearted response to Patrick's comment--a good example to us all. Less heat--more light.

Cheers;
Dixon

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Posted in reply to the post by alanora:

I stand corrected, and am aware of the continuum upon which all our human qualities if placed would not necessarily fall in a way to indicate gender. Especially in our locale! I apologize if my remarks sounded like male bashing...intestinal fortitude was a choice I'd made that bordered on silly, thinking it would be inoffensive yet clear. And my experience is obviously different than yours has been. I will remember the nurturing side of the men I've known before typing in the future. I will also remember my tendency to want men to be more like my women friends. I will check inside and make sure I am not reacting to a male of the past. (I will make sure I click on the reply privately box.) Please forgive any incorrect ommissions or inclusions. Our language has its limitations when speaking face to face, I am discovering that they multiply greatly without benefit of inflection, expression and hand gestures! Thanks Patrick...Mindy

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Just a thought: while I did not participate in this particular social gathering of Waccos, I would be interested in trying it again, perhaps with a small twist. I'm one of those people who will talk to ANYONE in public. I call it "stranger therapy"; the concept being that the small interactions that we have with people we don't know can be quite therapeutic to our daily experience.

My idea is to try meeting again, and having a common word or phrase to use that we could each recognize when one says it to another. If the word or phrase is not recognized, it's easy enough to say "oops, sorry, I thought you were someone else..." or to use some such graceful out.

The point here being that if I were invited (gee, I'm single and 50 too...), I'm just the type of person who would walk up to people in the establishment and make connections with them. Upon receiving a positive response to the pre-arranged phrase or word, I would invite the individual to join the group. Anyone up for that?

If I have completely missed the point, many apologies. If not, I'm open to learning something new about communicating too!

Cheers! :D:
Sarah

Sarah: I believe there is a book with the title: Some of my BEST friends are strangers. Yes, it is incredibly FUN to talk to strangers at times and just enjoy that moment and sometimes see where it goes. Life is GOOD. Cherish.

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Posted in reply to the post by [email protected]:

Just a thought: while I did not participate in this particular social gathering of Waccos, I would be interested in trying it again, perhaps with a small twist. I'm one of those people who will talk to ANYONE in public. I call it "stranger therapy"; the concept being that the small interactions that we have with people we don't know can be quite therapeutic to our daily experience. {snip}

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I keep chuckling when I think of somehow working the words "Mrs. Moose" into our repartee...
Also, I like Thursdays at the "office", er, Underwood...

At the risk of being misunderstood, but in the spirit of the honesty that Barry requested in his email inviting people to the Oct. 25 gathering, I had some responses to the first paragraph of the original invitation. My main response was to appreciate the sender for inviting men and women to gather to connect.

Perhaps now I am going to reveal some of my Shadow, which we all have, by sharing some of my responses to the words chosen. Though it is customary to speak of "the opposite sex," as in the invitation, I wonder if that sets up an unnecessary polarization. I certainly find women other, and hence interesting. But the re-frame of this opposing term that I prefer is "the other gender." I find that this phrase can facilitate more connection than an assumed opposition.

I have also found that when I "plan to have a great time," it does not always work out that way. Hence, I prefer to plan to have a real, authentic time. Even if it is not so "great," perhaps that less than great time will give me something to reflect on. For example, I have noticed that when I am down with a cold or something, after it passes, I then appreciate my good health even more, which I previously took for granted. Colds are not "great," but they can be instructive, as can some events, unless I retreat and blame the others for what they did, failing to see how I contributed to the problem.

Yes, its true, we men can be contrary, which I find rising in me in response to this well-intentioned invitation. A woman will say something, and something else rises within me. I have also noticed that some women also do this, which can even be fun.

But as a chicken-man, who loves those birds so dearly, I must rise to their defense when they are labeled as "fearful." Some chickens do indeed appear to humans to be fearful. They are, after all, prey, and we are predators. But chickens can also be fierce and hardy. I saw one of my mother hens fight off a hawk to defend her chicks. So, please, go light on diminishing descriptions of chickens. I have learned a lot from chicken wisdom. Fierce females, of any species, can be a benefit, as well as fun, unless they get too intense.

The "passively seeking" also got to me. I know that men get blamed for a lot, some of which we deserve. We are certainly more active in many, but not all, ways. Perhaps the passive/active polarity is what causes us some gender problems. I am glad that more women are taking more initiative now, which can enable me and other men to be more receptive.

If you have read through this ramble, I appreciate your good attention and listening skills.
Bubbles, lightning, and giggles,
Shepherd

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Posted in reply to the post by watchin:

Did I realize when I went to playfully invite a certain kind of men, namely unmarried, kind, and playful also, to meet my girlfriends and I on a couple of occasions at the Underwood for some socializing, that I would end up writing for the next week to people of all creeds and kinds, with attitudes ranging the full gamut of the spectrum? NO...I didn't realize the door I was opening.

Here are some things I have learned:{Snip}

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I did not follow the complete thread of this discussion. Frankly, becasue I'm a lesbian and at the time, I thought, "there they go again, the battle of the sexes". Holy Verbage Bartman! You folks are certainly passionate about this subject. I must say that I was tempted to go to Underwood just to watch "the dance".

Tonight, while trying to get through the last of day's email, I read this post, Shepherd's response and Andrea's original post. I was quite moved that the discussion had come full circle and folks were back to being the thoughtful, intellingent and compassionate people that I so adore here in our little slice of paradise.

Very recently, I had an unpleasant experience with a new friend. I believe I was blamed for a few different things without ever being asked for my side. The result so far is that word is spreading that I said something "horrifying". At first I was devasted at the thought that this new friend would be hurt by something I did or said. I know that I did not intend to be hurtful in any way. In fact, I consciously work at being kind at considerate to others, but most especially those I care about.

I should get to the point here. I was reminded that we can all have different opinions and and see the same situation vastly different. I made a request to my friend to discuss the situation but I receieved no reply. That is not unusual for this friend, but I could tell the rage was rising inside. It takes a great deal to make me angry. And by tonight, I was furious. What was I going to do about this? My good name and reputation are being slandered and I can't even defend myself! (Can you tell I'd gotten over the devastion part?). These posts reminded me that my rage isn't going to help solve anything. I need to clearly envision this friendship as the kind and healing connection it started as. I can choose to be angry and not allow for my friend's feelings and opinions or I can stick to the path of integrity and compassion.

I'm not sure what all the lessons are from this experience, but I'm grateful for these posts that helped me look past my anger. Thank you friends.
KMB

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Posted in reply to the post by Shepherd:

At the risk of being misunderstood, but in the spirit of the honesty that Barry requested in his email inviting people to the Oct. 25 gathering, I had some responses to the first paragraph of the original invitation. My main response was to appreciate the sender for inviting men and women to gather to connect.
{snip}

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Wow Andrea; what a beautiful posting, I love your upbeat additude and the bright way you seem to have met some unruly responses! remember the internet is a weird white glowing bullitin board a lot of lonly people hide behind in a crowded and actually friendly world. we all see a bunch of people we could connect with every day we go out,but it takes guts to just walk up and risk rejection. I admire your candid approach!
Love on! Nico

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Posted in reply to the post by watchin:

Did I realize when I went to playfully invite a certain kind of men, namely unmarried, kind, and playful also, to meet my girlfriends and I on a couple of occasions at the Underwood for some socializing, that I would end up writing for the next week to people of all creeds and kinds, with attitudes ranging the full gamut of the spectrum? NO...I didn't realize the door I was opening.

Here are some things I have learned: {Snip}

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I've been reading the posts to this thread on & off for the past few weeks & wish I knew more about how to get involved with meeting the interesting, open people/men who might be interested in investigating each other in groups or individually. I'm fairly new to Sebastopol, am a single 52 year old female who'd love to meet some potential friends & possibly a (male) partner for a committed relationship. I hope this can evolve into a venue for single people to meet & get to know one another in healthy environments & with good intentions. Please keep moving forward with this idea, and let's try to keep adding our thoughts & ideas to help things grow for everyone's benefit. I'm ready to get involved!
Smiles,
Paula

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Posted in reply to the post by nicofrog:

Wow Andrea; what a beautiful posting, I love your upbeat additude and the bright way you seem to have met some unruly responses! remember the internet is a weird white glowing bullitin board a lot of lonly people hide behind in a crowded and actually friendly world. we all see a bunch of people we could connect with every day we go out,but it takes guts to just walk up and risk rejection. I admire your candid approach!
Love on! Nico

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Posted in reply to the post by Guppy:

I've been reading the posts to this thread on & off for the past few weeks & wish I knew more about how to get involved with meeting the interesting, open people/men who might be interested in investigating each other in groups or individually. I'm fairly new to Sebastopol, am a single 52 year old female who'd love to meet some potential friends & possibly a (male) partner for a committed relationship. I hope this can evolve into a venue for single people to meet & get to know one another in healthy environments & with good intentions. Please keep moving forward with this idea, and let's try to keep adding our thoughts & ideas to help things grow for everyone's benefit. I'm ready to get involved!
Smiles,
Paula

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Great Paula! Here's a great opportunity "for single people to meet & get to know one another in [a] healthy environment & with good intentions." There will also be non-single people there too (hey, we have to get out too, you know!) but we'll be clearly identified so you may focus your "investigation" on more promising suspects!

https://www.waccobb.net/forums/image...coWideLogo.gif

WaccoBB.net Community Gathering
Kick Off party for the

Conscious Relationship Category

Whether you're Single, Married
or someplace in between,
Come Join Us!

Everybody is Invited!

Wednesday, October 25th
6:30pm - 9:15pm
8pm circle

Ace-In-The-Hole Cider Pub
Highway 116 at Graton Road
(3 miles north of Sebastopol)
https://www.acecider.com/pub.html

Donation: $5-$20
(No one turned away...)

You can see the full announcement here.

Lotsa debrief of a couple brief September schmenges.
Still initiating, responding, exploring?

What is a schmenge?

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Posted in reply to the post by ReSearch In Action:

Lotsa debrief of a couple brief September schmenges.
Still initiating, responding, exploring?

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Posted in reply to the post by pbrinton:

What is a schmenge?

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schmenge (pronunciation: shmeng-gee): an all purpose word meaning whatever you want it to

In this case I've used it to refer to some brief, uncertain exchanges in a community of searchers

Feel free to use it liberally, with or without butter!
sj

I saw the original post and was interested but had to play a gig somewhere else. I thought it was a friendly and imaginative. I liked the concept of a group of women putting out an invitation to meet men. It was bold and in no way triggered anything negative. I did email Andrea and received a return email from her. That was unusual considering how many women post but never reply. I didn't feel like the women posting here were being cheap, condescending or nasty. This grass roots effort was a chance for a bunch of potential new friends to create a happening. In this world of meeting in public places, there is a chance to extend our relationships and broaden our extended family. The effort you girls invested in a posted Private Singles Party in Public is fresh. So did any of the ladies meet any men at all?
I want you ladies to plan another and I'll walk up to meet you.
:2cents:

Quote:

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Posted in reply to the post by Brino:

I want you ladies to plan another and I'll walk up to meet you.
:2cents:

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Andrea objected that I moved this thread to the new Conscious Relationship category. She has since unsubscribed from WaccoBB.net, I am sorry to say.

I too welcome ladies (and men) to initiate a public party! I hosted one a couple of weeks ago at the Ace in the Hole pub that got a good turn out! It was a very warm and friendly gathering where everybody seemed to talk to everybody, and a good time was had by all! I plan to host another one sometime soon, perhaps in Santa Rosa this time. If anybody has a suggestion of where to hold it, please let me know!

Barry