If you see THE DIARY OF A TEENAGE GIRL, I would like your opinion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9LNsSjnqBM

A week or two ago I heard, probably on NPR, an interview with the book author and someone involved with making this movie. From that I had the impression that it was an honest look at the experience of a teenage girl who lacks parental supervision and support and who turns to an older man who is molesting her because she thinks he loves her. As a Feminist and incest survivor I thought this might be a good movie.

When I saw it I felt that it is simply soft core kiddy porn with way too many sex scenes and very little about the damage that the neglect and sexual abuse is doing to the girl. I really like the actress and think she did a very good job with the material she was given. The situation with the adult man finally drives her to some self destructive behavior, but she stops suddenly, goes back to her neglectful mother, and quickly realizes that she loves herself, doesn't need outside validation. No therapy needed, no long term recovery.

Because I lived on the edges of hippy SF in the early 70's I saw a few situations like this and have seen the young women involved go through years of struggle to find themselves, over come drug addiction, and move on in life. They are left with permanent scars to their bodies and psyches. This movie doesn't show that. It is very focused on her "sexuality."

If you see this movie I'd like to hear what you think.
Barrie

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Posted in reply to the post by Barrie:

..When I saw it I felt that it is simply soft core kiddy porn with way too many sex scenes and very little about the damage that the neglect and sexual abuse is doing to the girl. ...

If you see this movie I'd like to hear what you think.

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I haven't seen the movie and probably won't but I have read a number of reviews of it and an interview with the author of the eponymous book on which it is based, Phoebe Gloeckner. The book is fictional but heavily based on PG's coming of age sexually in 1970s San Francisco. The older man in question was her mother's boyfriend and they first had sex when PG was 15. She was exhilarated by the experience and embarked on a period of exploration.

Here's a quote from an interview in the SF Chron Datebook (Aug. 9-15): "Heller (the film's director) deftly handles Gloeckner's provocative material by staying true--at times painfully so--to the book's intimate exposition of a girl falling headlong into lust and longing, ravenous for new experiences." PG, now 54, seems unharmed by those experiences and currently teaches art at the U of Michigan. The book recounts many of her experiences and is even illustrated--a la R. Crumb--by her. It's not surprising that the movie has emphasized the sexual encounters because the book is full of them--and it sells movies. This movie has gotten many positive reviews.

Actually, I had a small role in the film playing a waitress and met, talked and shared a couple of scenes with the young girl who starred in the film, so I was curious to see how the movie turned out myself.

First, I thought she did a tremendous job with the material also, she is a very talented, pleasant young girl. You never know how a film will be edited in the final cut and I have found that it typically differs from the original screenplay, based on the directors final analysis and vision. Such is Hollywood and film making. The film did have a female director.

As far as the final version, my opinion was that it was a reflection of a young girl's coming of age, exploring her beginning sexual urges. There didn't seem to be any violent molesting in this "story" that does frequently happen that can be extremely traumatic. This film was about exploration and experimentation in finding one's sexuality at a young age. She initiated and wanted to explore and experiment and yes, sadly had no strong parental guidance or positive example. However, by making her own choices and going down that path, she discovered where it can lead and had enough self-awareness to determine that she found what she truly desired and it was not what she had experienced, which was very empowering for her in the end.

She had the strength of her artistic talent and a solid sense of humor to assist her, so there was a certain "light-hearted" feeling to it in the beginning. The older man, being the adult could/should have made better choices and influenced her in a healthier responsible way and set boundaries, but sadly that does not always happen in life. Due to his own destructive behavior and choices he took advantage and allowed what he should not have and that is very disturbing and typical of most older adult men in our society when given the opportunity will not turn down.

Would she have learned the valuable lesson that she did without going through the experience that she was mostly controlling by her own innocent curiosity? I don't know, however I thought it was somewhat tastefully done even though it was a bit disturbing to watch at times and I thought there was too much sex and drugs, but isn't that a reflection of the world that we live in and are bombarded with daily?

All the free flowing, anything goes, unlimited, multi partner sex in society today has nothing to do with Love, no matter how it is packaged and this film reflects that and she certainly discovered it for herself on her journey. She just wanted to feel loved as we all do, but found out that sex is not Love.

It is certainly a thought provoking film for all of us about our choices and boundaries in regards to how we perceive sex and the effect is has on our and others lives. We all want love, but it cannot be found in sex alone. She found out that sex and love are two different things without too much damage to herself that shaped her priorities and future in realizing that self-love is all she needed. A very powerful thing to learn at such a young age.

I did leave the film feeling a bit upset/depressed that adults are not more conscientious of taking the high road and not submitting to their selfish desires/weakness when they are grown and know better. However, I thought it was an interesting treatment of what can happen when we go down that road. There are always consequences to choices and we are the only ones responsible for our choices in life.

Remember the song "Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places"?

In just reading your review and looking at the trailer, I wouldn't want to pay money or give support to these kinds of movies in what it takes to heal from childhood trauma/incest. As an author of two books on the healing of physical and sexual abuse and, working on my third one on the deeper issues, I feel that to show movies where suppression and societal acceptance of being taken advantage of as a way to get over trauma (even identifying it as such), to minimize what it really takes to heal, is not conducive to the truth of the journey and to eventually feel there is a thriver state rather than surviving it all.

After almost 30 years in the field, I know the possibilities of healing and the many techniques and studies showing what dedication, support and inner work are needed to change the deeply entrenched emotional patterns, belief systems, and somatic issues that these issues create. I'm grateful that at least they can now be discussed publically when it use to be secretive and shameful, with bogus society's formed to suppress the truth, like FMS (false memory syndrome BS)...another pattern of a society that is based in hiding what is truth.

Thanks for mentioning it and your take.