In My Bed

It’s 2 am and, after binge watching
the third season of Downton Abbey,
Lady Grantham’s housemaid, Anna,
is in bed with me. She’s been sexually
assaulted by a slimy visiting valet and
I’m haunted by the horror if it, by her
trauma and shame, her struggling to cope,
fearful to tell her husband that he might
murder the creep and then be hanged.
I would like her out of my bed.

If I were the script writer, I’d have the
rapist castrated, without anesthesia, Next
I’d have Thomas, the head butler sent on a
Vision Quest, where he’d have to face his
own demons. He comes out of the closet
and becomes a respected activist for
LGBT rights, after humbly making amends
to all those he has deceived and offended.
The arrogant footman, James, is sent to
Wilderness Camp, where he’d have to
drop in with himself & work hard. If I were
scripting the scenes, the up to date West
Sonoma County version, Lord and Lady
Grantham would go on a medicine journey
to the jungles of Peru, and return to build
a greenhouse for cultivating tropical plants.
With the help of the good Dr. Clarkson and
Lady Crawley, now a happily married couple,
they formulate their own medicines, including
a multi-spectrum cannabis remedy. Edith’s
beau and recent employer is never found.
She goes to India to get her mind off him and
has her baby there. She falls in love with her
Indian obstetrician bringing some color and
spice to the family. Mary becomes a physical
therapist, softens, teaches the Downton staff
ergonomics, and Bates, given a special regimen
for his lame leg, is eventually able to discard his
cane. He and Anna, post valet castration, take
up ball-room dancing after a visiting shaman from
Peru does a soul retrieval for Anna. Mrs. Hughes
discovers Rumi, a Christmas gift from a cousin,
and daily shares verse with Carson. Deeply
affected by these, he realizes that there is
great love and respect between them. There
always has been and she knows him better than
anyone. She pushes him to his growing edge.
They have a sweet festive wedding. Alfred
returns to the Abbey for the celebration.
He asks Daisy to marry him and join him in
London. As she has been learning sewing on
the new machine, she decides to open a millinery
shop using her inheritance from William’s father.
Tom, surprising himself, becomes passionate
about farming and moves to a parcel owned by
Downton. He masters sustainability practices
and is a well-loved speaker in neighboring
lands, bridging the gap between the family
and the villagers, sharing permaculture ideas,
The Granthams persuade Rose to attend a
Women’s Leadership training and she becomes
more dignified, more purposeful and able to
stand up to her mother. Her mother is diagnosed
with hormone imbalances, which are corrected
nutritionally and with exercise and adequate
hydration. She becomes kind and compassionate.
Rose’s parents have an amicable divorce and her
father travels the world photographing sacred
sites and permaculture projects. Molesely, uses
his free time to study with a visiting clown. His
vulnerability and self-consciousness serve him in
this role and his is in demand for parties and
festivities, a nice way to supplement his income
as a footman. The dowager duchess rekindles
an old flame and there’s more intrigue to come.

But, for now, there’s too much commotion
in my bed. I want the whole household to be
gone or at least to rest. I really need my sleep!

Constance Miles