WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)-In what is being described as a best-case scenario, some political experts are predicting that the Republicans could once again be a viable political party as early as the year 2096. Davis Logsdon, the head of...

Started by Sara S, 10-09-2016 ,Last Post bakerchic 10-26-2020 09:35 PM

This is copied from a post that was in response to an article, (Erin Banco, Adam Rawnsley, Lachlan Cartwright,The Daily Beast•May 17, 2020). It is titled: "Busted: Pentagon Contractors' Report on 'Wuhan Lab' Origins of Virus Is Bogus" The...

Dear One, Words are electricity. A sentence is an electrical circuit. A paragraphis a circuit box. Reading the following paragraph at least twice a day will keep our immune systems as supercharged as they naturally are...so the...

Dear Wacco BB readers I wrote the following piece as a response to the Kavanaugh hearings, the angry defensiveness of the Republicans, the agonizing revelations of Dr. Blasey Ford and Ms. Swetnick and Ms. Ramirez. DO NOT READ THIS SHORT ESSAY...

Started by Star Man, 09-27-2018 ,Last Post cyberanvil 08-01-2019 09:33 AM

Punography: I tried to catch some fog. I mist. PMS jokes aren't funny. Period. When chemists die, they barium.

from borowitzreport.com: THE HAMPTONS (The Borowitz Report)-They don't pay taxes. They circumvent our laws. They get free stuff from the government. They are America's billionaires, and many would like to see them gone. According to a new ...

Started by Sara S, 08-24-2015 ,Last Post podfish 05-27-2019 06:58 PM

from borowitzreport.com: WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)-A day after President Obama held a nationally televised town hall about guns in America, a new poll shows that a majority of Republicans would rather actually be shot by a firearm than...

Started by Sara S, 01-08-2016 ,Last Post Chauncey Gardner 04-05-2019 09:50 AM

I'm new here. I was explicitly led/drawn here by Divine Feminine (ie Spirit, Gaia, Mother Ayahuasca) from another state and Ive been here four months. I'm an empath, lightworker, tantric yoga intuitive; I've been connecting with Gaia since I was 6...

Irish Compassion.... Shortly after take-off on an outbound evening Air Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement in her lovely Irish brogue: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very...

Started by wbreitman, 04-21-2016 ,Last Post Danasfriend 01-17-2018 08:45 PM

Economics explained with cows: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TYueM_mLPw

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous erudite scientist ( and comedian ) who once said "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates." He sees things differently...

Started by wbreitman, 12-15-2016 ,Last Post Star Man 10-07-2017 08:18 PM

So I had to prove I wasn't a bot and the Captcha had 12 squares in a 4 x3 grid with pictures. I had to pick the ones with a mountain in it. There weren't any mountains, so I didn't pick anything and clicked verify and that was the right answer....

Let's Talk about Sex! :Spanking and BDSM Play Dawn Michael, Jun 4, 2012 Spanking and BDSM play, with Dr. Dawn Michael. The Dr. will teach you about how to have fun with a little spanking and BDSM play, how to play it safe and what you need to...

For everyone who has ever had an evaluation or performance review just remember, it could have been worse. These are quotes taken from United States Federal Government employee performance evaluations: 1. "Since my last report, this employee...

Started by wbreitman, 12-15-2016 ,Last Post kpage9 12-16-2016 06:33 PM

DORVAL, QC-Air Canada announced this morning that as of 2017, passengers will be required to pay an extra fee to transport any emotional baggage they happen to be carrying with them onto their flight. Jacqueline Villeneuve, head of...

Started by Sara S, 12-06-2016 ,Last Post LilithR 12-08-2016 12:32 AM

Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are standing at the throne of heaven. God looks at them and says, "Before granting you a place at my side, I must ask you what you have learned, what you believe in." God asks Barack first: "What do...

No wonder the youngsters today think old folks talk weird! Heavens to Murgatroyd! Would you believe the email spell checker did not recognize the word murgatroyd? Lost Words from our childhood:

Started by wbreitman, 07-25-2016 ,Last Post Star Man 10-01-2016 08:31 PM

This is something that happened at an assisted living center. The people who lived there have small apartments but they all eat at a central cafeteria. One morning one of the residents didn't show up for breakfast so my wife went upstairs and...

Started by Sara S, 08-23-2016 ,Last Post Sara S 08-26-2016 03:37 PM

Here's an ethical dilemma to ponder: Are you as moral as you think you are? This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.

There is really no such thing as money, money is just a concept. The objects people refer to as money has no real value besides the material itself is made out of. People who falls for this con-job ("hook line and sinker") tend to be those who...

1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. 2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night. 4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 5.Back up my hard...

Started by wbreitman, 05-18-2016 ,Last Post Shandi 05-20-2016 10:08 AM

Taste the fun! And then collapse!Why does Starbucks hate you? by Mark Morford-SFGate.com on March 15, 2016 at 5:07 PM Springtime! Tastes like... goop Taste the springtime! And then regret the hell out of it. Amazingly, the headline that...

Started by Sara S, 03-17-2016 ,Last Post ChefJayTay 04-24-2016 04:43 PM

Homographs are words of like spelling but with more than one meaning. A homograph that is also pronounced differently is a heteronym. You think English is easy?? I think a retired English teacher was bored...THIS IS GREAT! ...

test

A man and woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and Out of the grave and come back and haunt you...

1966: Long hair 2016: Longing for hair 1966: KEG 2016: EKG 1966: Acid rock 2016: Acid reflux

Started by Sara S, 02-23-2016 ,Last Post Shandi 02-24-2016 05:24 AM

Dear Fellow Earthlings and Barry, Maybe this is just my opportunity to vent, but I just can't take this too much longer. The most recent assault on my attempts to offer free information concerning my research have been met with a threat by the...

Aphorisms--- A tersely phrased statement of a truth or opinion. If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.~Jay Leno~ The problem with political jokes is they get elected.~Henry Cate, VII~ We hang the petty thieves and appoint...

Started by wbreitman, 02-18-2016 ,Last Post Shandi 02-18-2016 01:19 PM

Ted Cruz's Logo: Hilariously Appropriate :pointnlaugh::spanking::ew::wink:

*They're back! Those wonderful church bulletins! Thank God for the church ladies with their computers. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services: *...

from borowitzreport.com: DES MOINES, Iowa (The Borowitz Report)-Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin continued to air her grievances against President Obama on Friday, telling an audience at a Trump rally in Iowa that Obama was "single-handedly...

Subject:Business is Business One day at kindergarten the teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $10 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived." A little Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was...

The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing and stopped at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman behind him was furious and honked...

from borowitzreport.com: CHARLESTON (The Borowitz Report)-A fact checker who has vetted all of the 2016 Republican Presidential debates was hospitalized for exhaustion during the sixth G.O.P. forum in Charleston on Thursday evening. Martin ...

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)-Looking ahead to his final State of the Union address, Barack Obama told NBC's Matt Lauer that he was "celebrating, just celebrating the last time I ever have to talk to these bastards." "I'll be going over...

. . . . In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding --"Product will be hot after heating."...

INTERESTING OBSERVATION 1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL. 2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING. 3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL. 4. The sport of choice for supervisors...

from borowitzreport.com: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)-The billionaire Donald Trump's proposal to ban Muslims from entering the United States has sparked deep disappointment among his supporters,...

After the eighty seven year old lady finished her annual physical examination, the doctor said, "You are in fine shape for your age, but tell me, do you still have intercourse?" "Just a minute, I'll have to ask my husband," she said. She...

Here is a lesson in our history of the 1930s and 1940s. Before there were interstates, when everyone drove the old 2 lane roads, Burma Shave signs would be posted all over the countryside in farmers' fields. They were small red signs with white...

WHY GOD MADE MOMS Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions: Why did God make mothers? 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house.

from borowitzreport.com: LAS VEGAS (The Borowitz Report)-In a major slip that may prove fatal to his Presidential ambitions, Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont treated his principal opponent for the Democratic nomination with dignity and...

Started by Sara S, 10-14-2015 ,Last Post Hotspring 44 10-17-2015 01:04 PM

from borowitzreport.com: NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)-The strong ratings for Tuesday's Democratic Presidential debate have surprised CNN executives, who are now tentatively considering introducing substance into their programming. The ...

from borowitzreport.com: WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)-House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy has entered rehab to deal with his "struggles with nouns and verbs," an aide to the congressman has confirmed. According to the aide, McCarthy...

Sometime between Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) and Yom Kippur (the Jewish day of repentance -- the highest holy day in the Jewish religion), it is customary among Ashkenazim (the name given to Jews from Eastern Europe) to throw breadcrumbs...