theindependenteye
01-07-2013, 06:22 PM
The National Rifle Association has proposed a nationwide ban on intelligence levels as a deterrent to violent crime. "Let's have an honest dialogue and get at the root causes," said NRA president Wayne LaPierre on Tuesday.
The president reiterated the self-evident fact that guns don't kill people, people kill people. "That understood," he said, "you ask yourself what's the most dangerous part of a human being, maybe even the most dangerous thing on the planet? The human brain."
"Those who would seek to limit destructive capabilities by restricting the acquisition or firepower of weaponry are bypassing a much more serious risk. Mankind's brain is capable not only of circumventing any conceivable weapons ban, as we have repeatedly demonstrated, but of developing ingenious killing methods: nerve agents in kindergarten finger paints, rabid killer pussycats, automatic-recoiling baseball bats. The mind that put a man on the moon can put millions six feet under.
"The intelligent brain is the dangerous brain, the most efficient, the one with the greatest firepower. So we propose a ban on IQ levels above 100, the universal average. The nature of the ban itself would of course be for Congress to determine. We believe the vast majority of our membership, of Congress, and certainly of our staff would fall well below the cut-off level.
"Of course there's always the danger that the mass murderer or the serial killer could turn out to be a knuckle-head equipped with less than state-of-the-art weaponry. But we believe generally that card-carrying dummies pose less of a threat than well-educated psychopaths who would have better resources to support our industrial affiliates by arming themselves to the teeth. We don't support driveling idiots having guns, unless they can afford them."
Reactions to the NRA statement were mixed. "I'm not sure if we could keep up with technological developments if we had to hire stupid engineers," said Bud Pert, CEO of Glockmeister, "but I think we could negotiate exceptions." President LaPierre termed the firestorm of outrage from Liberal media, academia, and partisan politicians as "predictable."
Cheers--
Conrad
Copyright C. Bishop 2013
The president reiterated the self-evident fact that guns don't kill people, people kill people. "That understood," he said, "you ask yourself what's the most dangerous part of a human being, maybe even the most dangerous thing on the planet? The human brain."
"Those who would seek to limit destructive capabilities by restricting the acquisition or firepower of weaponry are bypassing a much more serious risk. Mankind's brain is capable not only of circumventing any conceivable weapons ban, as we have repeatedly demonstrated, but of developing ingenious killing methods: nerve agents in kindergarten finger paints, rabid killer pussycats, automatic-recoiling baseball bats. The mind that put a man on the moon can put millions six feet under.
"The intelligent brain is the dangerous brain, the most efficient, the one with the greatest firepower. So we propose a ban on IQ levels above 100, the universal average. The nature of the ban itself would of course be for Congress to determine. We believe the vast majority of our membership, of Congress, and certainly of our staff would fall well below the cut-off level.
"Of course there's always the danger that the mass murderer or the serial killer could turn out to be a knuckle-head equipped with less than state-of-the-art weaponry. But we believe generally that card-carrying dummies pose less of a threat than well-educated psychopaths who would have better resources to support our industrial affiliates by arming themselves to the teeth. We don't support driveling idiots having guns, unless they can afford them."
Reactions to the NRA statement were mixed. "I'm not sure if we could keep up with technological developments if we had to hire stupid engineers," said Bud Pert, CEO of Glockmeister, "but I think we could negotiate exceptions." President LaPierre termed the firestorm of outrage from Liberal media, academia, and partisan politicians as "predictable."
Cheers--
Conrad
Copyright C. Bishop 2013