Glia
08-22-2012, 11:31 PM
Clever. Let's hope it never happens!
* * * * * * * *
Paul Ryan prepares to lead, guided by Ayn Rand
By Michael Kinsley
August 22, 2012
https://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-kinsley-ryan-ayn-rand-20120822,0,98872.story
"I grew up reading Ayn Rand and it taught me quite a bit
about who I am and what my value systems are and what my
beliefs are. It's inspired me so much that it's required
reading in my office for all my interns and my staff." -
Rep. Paul Ryan, Republican vice presidential candidate, in
a 2005 speech
Paul Ryan laughed. He stood naked on top of the vice
president's desk in the Senate chamber, scanning the crowd
of sniveling politicians below him.
He flexed his muscles, the result of hours spent in the
House gymnasium. Look at these pathetic specimens, he
thought. Not one of them could do a one-armed push-up if
his life depended on it. Not one was worthy of so much as
cosponsoring one of Ryan's bills. Every single one of them
had been elected by appealing to the average citizen in
his (or her -- Ryan snorted at the thought) district. It
occurred to him, and not for the first time, that of all
the men and women in this room, only he, Paul Ryan, had
been selected for his current office by the president
himself.
The president. Ryan's mind wandered as he thought about
the only man who stood between him and absolute power.
Mitt Romney was a weakling, Ryan thought -- and not for the
first time. He's a man whose views can change. The thought
filled Ryan with disgust. His own views were as solid as
granite. They were the views of the only clear-thinking
woman he had ever met: Ayn Rand.
Ryan thought back on the humiliating "job interview" he
had allowed himself to be subjected to before being chosen
as Romney's vice president. Did he have any pregnant,
unmarried daughters? Could he see Russia from his living
room window?
Worst of all was the probing of his attitude about federal
programs like Medicare and Social Security. His attitude?
His attitude was that all of these programs were for
pathetic losers. Romney had agreed with him, but said they
should keep this opinion under their hats. Ryan had
obliged, only long enough to make it through the election.
And he despised himself for this. But he did it, and it
worked, and the Romney-Ryan team was elected. And now he
kept nothing under his hat.
In fact, he didn't have a hat, or any other article of
clothing. Clothing was for weaklings.
It was the opening session of the Senate, Vice President
Paul Ryan presiding. Below him he could see and hear
so-called leaders of his own party pleading with him to
get off the desk and sit in a chair like a normal human
being -- or at least put on some clothes, for God's sake.
He cringed inwardly at having to listen to such advice
from the likes of Mitch McConnell and John Boehner.
Although, he had to admit, he couldn't despise these two
men, much as he might wish to. They both seemed terribly
bitter. He liked that. Actually, he had a real soft spot
for Sen. McConnell, who, when the occasion called for it,
could be impressively nasty.
As for House Speaker Boehner, he could be nasty too, but
always with a slightly cynical smirk, which said, "I know
this is all just a game." This ruined it for Ryan. For
Ryan this was not a game.
Furthermore, Boehner smoked cigarettes. That marked him as
a pathetic, weak character. But it also marked him as a
man willing to stand up to the sickening pressures of
social conformity. You could argue it both ways. There are
merits on both sides of the argument. Reasonable men may
differ....
"Stop!" Ryan thought to himself. Was even he not immune
from the poison of relativism? Had not Rand taught him
that there are not two sides to every question? There is
only one side to every question. He could hear her voice
in his head, saying: "No. No. No. Paul, you disappoint me.
Hearing you say that something can be argued both ways
makes me physically ill. There is one objective answer to
any question, and that is the answer that derives from
reason. And if you are in any doubt about what reason
dictates, just come to me and I will tell you."
Ryan thought about the challenges that lay ahead.
Privatizing the interstate highway system. Replacing the
Pentagon with national defense vouchers. Turning the
Smithsonian and the National Gallery of Art into block
grants for the states. Ryan was especially excited by the
defense vouchers idea. Why should national defense have to
be "one-size-fits-all"?
Again, he scanned the room. It occurred to him that, if
anything, the opposing party was even more pathetic than
his own. What a collection of mediocrities. A perfect
reflection of the people who elect them. Over there was
that weasel Harry Reid. During the campaign -- with no
evidence at all -- Sen. Reid said that Romney had paid no
taxes for 10 years. And what if he hadn't? Good for him.
Taxation is slavery. It is the inferior majority expecting
the superior minority to pay them for their very
inferiority.
Paul Ryan banged the gavel and brought the chamber to
order. It quieted down quickly -- much faster than the
House ever did under the so-called leadership of that
woman from California. The politicians recognized that
they had entered the force field of a true, natural
leader.
Yes, things were going to be very different from here on
out, Ryan chuckled to himself.
_______
Michael Kinsley, a former editorial page editor of The
Times, is a Bloomberg View columnist.
* * * * * * * *
Paul Ryan prepares to lead, guided by Ayn Rand
By Michael Kinsley
August 22, 2012
https://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-kinsley-ryan-ayn-rand-20120822,0,98872.story
"I grew up reading Ayn Rand and it taught me quite a bit
about who I am and what my value systems are and what my
beliefs are. It's inspired me so much that it's required
reading in my office for all my interns and my staff." -
Rep. Paul Ryan, Republican vice presidential candidate, in
a 2005 speech
Paul Ryan laughed. He stood naked on top of the vice
president's desk in the Senate chamber, scanning the crowd
of sniveling politicians below him.
He flexed his muscles, the result of hours spent in the
House gymnasium. Look at these pathetic specimens, he
thought. Not one of them could do a one-armed push-up if
his life depended on it. Not one was worthy of so much as
cosponsoring one of Ryan's bills. Every single one of them
had been elected by appealing to the average citizen in
his (or her -- Ryan snorted at the thought) district. It
occurred to him, and not for the first time, that of all
the men and women in this room, only he, Paul Ryan, had
been selected for his current office by the president
himself.
The president. Ryan's mind wandered as he thought about
the only man who stood between him and absolute power.
Mitt Romney was a weakling, Ryan thought -- and not for the
first time. He's a man whose views can change. The thought
filled Ryan with disgust. His own views were as solid as
granite. They were the views of the only clear-thinking
woman he had ever met: Ayn Rand.
Ryan thought back on the humiliating "job interview" he
had allowed himself to be subjected to before being chosen
as Romney's vice president. Did he have any pregnant,
unmarried daughters? Could he see Russia from his living
room window?
Worst of all was the probing of his attitude about federal
programs like Medicare and Social Security. His attitude?
His attitude was that all of these programs were for
pathetic losers. Romney had agreed with him, but said they
should keep this opinion under their hats. Ryan had
obliged, only long enough to make it through the election.
And he despised himself for this. But he did it, and it
worked, and the Romney-Ryan team was elected. And now he
kept nothing under his hat.
In fact, he didn't have a hat, or any other article of
clothing. Clothing was for weaklings.
It was the opening session of the Senate, Vice President
Paul Ryan presiding. Below him he could see and hear
so-called leaders of his own party pleading with him to
get off the desk and sit in a chair like a normal human
being -- or at least put on some clothes, for God's sake.
He cringed inwardly at having to listen to such advice
from the likes of Mitch McConnell and John Boehner.
Although, he had to admit, he couldn't despise these two
men, much as he might wish to. They both seemed terribly
bitter. He liked that. Actually, he had a real soft spot
for Sen. McConnell, who, when the occasion called for it,
could be impressively nasty.
As for House Speaker Boehner, he could be nasty too, but
always with a slightly cynical smirk, which said, "I know
this is all just a game." This ruined it for Ryan. For
Ryan this was not a game.
Furthermore, Boehner smoked cigarettes. That marked him as
a pathetic, weak character. But it also marked him as a
man willing to stand up to the sickening pressures of
social conformity. You could argue it both ways. There are
merits on both sides of the argument. Reasonable men may
differ....
"Stop!" Ryan thought to himself. Was even he not immune
from the poison of relativism? Had not Rand taught him
that there are not two sides to every question? There is
only one side to every question. He could hear her voice
in his head, saying: "No. No. No. Paul, you disappoint me.
Hearing you say that something can be argued both ways
makes me physically ill. There is one objective answer to
any question, and that is the answer that derives from
reason. And if you are in any doubt about what reason
dictates, just come to me and I will tell you."
Ryan thought about the challenges that lay ahead.
Privatizing the interstate highway system. Replacing the
Pentagon with national defense vouchers. Turning the
Smithsonian and the National Gallery of Art into block
grants for the states. Ryan was especially excited by the
defense vouchers idea. Why should national defense have to
be "one-size-fits-all"?
Again, he scanned the room. It occurred to him that, if
anything, the opposing party was even more pathetic than
his own. What a collection of mediocrities. A perfect
reflection of the people who elect them. Over there was
that weasel Harry Reid. During the campaign -- with no
evidence at all -- Sen. Reid said that Romney had paid no
taxes for 10 years. And what if he hadn't? Good for him.
Taxation is slavery. It is the inferior majority expecting
the superior minority to pay them for their very
inferiority.
Paul Ryan banged the gavel and brought the chamber to
order. It quieted down quickly -- much faster than the
House ever did under the so-called leadership of that
woman from California. The politicians recognized that
they had entered the force field of a true, natural
leader.
Yes, things were going to be very different from here on
out, Ryan chuckled to himself.
_______
Michael Kinsley, a former editorial page editor of The
Times, is a Bloomberg View columnist.