Dykstra

[sd gross]

He used to play outfield for the Phillies, and he chewed and chawed and chawed some more....
Now there's a movement afoot to ban this abhorrent practice altogether. Good!


Dykstra
by Stephen D. Gross

Like a Bloodhound or a Puli
Dykstra's lips are brown and drooly
and the slime hangs like Tom Dooley
from his Oak
We're not blind, Len
we can see ya'
lips all slick with diarrhea
and I know that you'll agree ya'
make us choke
Don't mind your jaw's
all stained and sticky
but don't think I'm being picky
(after all you're not Branch Rickey)
if I yield
The Astroturf, far from a carpet
turns into a gooey tar pit
when you squirt
a pint of brown spit
in left field
So you're a champion masticator
I don't care I'll see you later
'Scuse me, I refuse to cater
to your junk
the Phils may dig your kind of dancer
Don't they care
if you get cancer?
God knows you
ain't no Bengal Lancer
just a punk