Sara S
08-11-2011, 09:53 AM
from borowitzreport.com:
August 9, 2011
Murdoch Calls Rioters Criminals: 'If You Don't Believe Me, Listen to Their Voicemails'
News Corp Chief Blasts Law-breakers
LONDON (The Borowitz Report) - News Corporation chief Rupert Murdoch blasted the British rioters today, telling reporters, “These people are criminals. If you don’t believe me, listen to their voicemails.”
Mr. Murdoch said that although he had been listening to the rioters’ phone calls for days, “I had no idea that they were actually going to go through with something this beastly.”
The News Corp chief said he was saddened by what he sees as “the decline of the rule of law in this great nation.”
“These thugs seem to think they can just go out there and break the law, willy-nilly, however they please,” he said. “I don’t know where they get crazy ideas like that.”
He said that he had confidence that the British police could defeat the rioters, “but if not, I’m going to send in my wife Wendi.”
In other legal news, polygamist leader Warren Jeffs was sentenced to life plus twenty years, effectively ending his bid for the Republican presidential nomination.
August 9, 2011
Murdoch Calls Rioters Criminals: 'If You Don't Believe Me, Listen to Their Voicemails'
News Corp Chief Blasts Law-breakers
LONDON (The Borowitz Report) - News Corporation chief Rupert Murdoch blasted the British rioters today, telling reporters, “These people are criminals. If you don’t believe me, listen to their voicemails.”
Mr. Murdoch said that although he had been listening to the rioters’ phone calls for days, “I had no idea that they were actually going to go through with something this beastly.”
The News Corp chief said he was saddened by what he sees as “the decline of the rule of law in this great nation.”
“These thugs seem to think they can just go out there and break the law, willy-nilly, however they please,” he said. “I don’t know where they get crazy ideas like that.”
He said that he had confidence that the British police could defeat the rioters, “but if not, I’m going to send in my wife Wendi.”
In other legal news, polygamist leader Warren Jeffs was sentenced to life plus twenty years, effectively ending his bid for the Republican presidential nomination.