How to lose a wife

[RichT]

My wife asked me to cut back on expenses, so I gave up drinking beer. I wasn't a big drinker anyway.
Then I found a receipt for $45 for makeup.
"Wait a minute!" I said to my wife. "I gave up beer; you haven't given up anything!"
"I buy makeup so I look pretty for you," she replied.
I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!" ....

I don't think she'll be back.

[phadyd]

I told my wife the beer was so I didn't get a headache from her constant nagging, that didn't work to well, now we just go to counseling and everything is my fault.