someguy
08-19-2009, 01:34 PM
I am here to tell you that really rich old men with secret toothpastes are scary. This has been apparent to me for some time now, that super rich men, especially men over 60, with unheard of toothpastes, are wicked.
Now, I'm not talking about Russian or Japanese toothpastes or even space toothpaste. I'm talking about the highest of high quality toothpastes made exclusively for the most elite billionaires in the world.
Do you have any idea how much a bottle of this stuff costs those elite billionaires? The answer is technically nothing, but Glenn and I would say COMMUNISM. Thats right folks, those old nazi commi scum billionaires, who brush their god damned filthy teeth with these products, are welfare recipients. In other words, the manufacturer of these dental care products exists solely for the purpose of providing free health care to billionaire elites across the globe.
So who is the manufacturer? Is it the billionaires themselves? Have they all started some type of commune where they all pool the money together monthly to pay the workers wages and keep the plant running? Not likely.
I met up with my mole in the elite crowd last march in Seoul, South Korea. He led me east of crowded city and into a more industrialised area. As we drove up to the plant, I couldn't help hoping to get inside, interview some workers and actually get some evidence as to what they were producing, etc..... But as we approached our target, it was clear we weren't getting inside this massive, dark grey building, which is nestled against a rocky hillside and surrounded by 12 ft. high prison fencing. We waited all day outside the factory to try and locate a worker as they left for lunch break, or to go home, but it became apparent to us after eight or nine hours, that the workers were being bussed in and out of the compound. Worst of all, the two times we tried following an exiting bus full of workers, the police pulled us over within 10 blocks of pursuit.
I was sure my next clue would be hidden somewhere in some bathroom at the infamous Bohemian Grove. So, in early June, I applied for a waitering job at the Grove. I was hired. While working at a benefit one night for some the countries semi-elite, I was secretly invited by a guest to go to a party with him later that evening. He was clearly gay, and obviously ex-military. He liked me because I'm so soft and supple. I searched through his wallet after he had passed out drunk over a mountain of cocaine. I found some GPS coordinates which turned out to be deep in the forest nearby the Bohemian Grove. Also written on the paper was a time and date.
Obviously I crashed the party that day, and while I won't go into all of the sick and twisted acts of mutilation and violence I saw that evening, I will tell you that I found the evidence I needed to wrap my whole theory together. I saw a man in a freshly decapitated goats head handing out 8-12 oz. containers of what can only be described as toothpaste to each creepy old individual in the forest. The men all drank heavily from a golden challis filled with blood. The blood got them drunk and their old wrinkly man bodies swayed around a dark emerald green fire where they sang drunken fuck songs. But the most sickening sight of all is when they collectively shinned their teeth with the free paste of communist deceit. Then, for me to see the incredible difference it made in their smiles was too much for my stomach to handle.
So I know this is a little creepy but I haven't even gone through the dangerous part yet, which is that those sparkling bright chompers are only incredibly clean because they feed off of you and me. If they stopped feeding off of us, they would have no need for that toothpaste.
Let me ask you this. Who has always had the cleanest teeth all throughout history? Vampires! Vampires have always had stunningly white ivory fangs. These old man billionaires are vampires. Except these vampires don't always hunt people just for their blood, they mainly hunt for power. The more power they extract, the more they crave it. That means whatever little bit of power you have, puts you at risk! These Communist Vampire Billionaires are America's biggest threat. Let's take our country and toothpaste back!
Note: Just a few days ago my informant in Seoul told me that the manufacturing plant that we were investigating is now deserted and destined to be demolished due to building code violations. Fishy????
Now, I'm not talking about Russian or Japanese toothpastes or even space toothpaste. I'm talking about the highest of high quality toothpastes made exclusively for the most elite billionaires in the world.
Do you have any idea how much a bottle of this stuff costs those elite billionaires? The answer is technically nothing, but Glenn and I would say COMMUNISM. Thats right folks, those old nazi commi scum billionaires, who brush their god damned filthy teeth with these products, are welfare recipients. In other words, the manufacturer of these dental care products exists solely for the purpose of providing free health care to billionaire elites across the globe.
So who is the manufacturer? Is it the billionaires themselves? Have they all started some type of commune where they all pool the money together monthly to pay the workers wages and keep the plant running? Not likely.
I met up with my mole in the elite crowd last march in Seoul, South Korea. He led me east of crowded city and into a more industrialised area. As we drove up to the plant, I couldn't help hoping to get inside, interview some workers and actually get some evidence as to what they were producing, etc..... But as we approached our target, it was clear we weren't getting inside this massive, dark grey building, which is nestled against a rocky hillside and surrounded by 12 ft. high prison fencing. We waited all day outside the factory to try and locate a worker as they left for lunch break, or to go home, but it became apparent to us after eight or nine hours, that the workers were being bussed in and out of the compound. Worst of all, the two times we tried following an exiting bus full of workers, the police pulled us over within 10 blocks of pursuit.
I was sure my next clue would be hidden somewhere in some bathroom at the infamous Bohemian Grove. So, in early June, I applied for a waitering job at the Grove. I was hired. While working at a benefit one night for some the countries semi-elite, I was secretly invited by a guest to go to a party with him later that evening. He was clearly gay, and obviously ex-military. He liked me because I'm so soft and supple. I searched through his wallet after he had passed out drunk over a mountain of cocaine. I found some GPS coordinates which turned out to be deep in the forest nearby the Bohemian Grove. Also written on the paper was a time and date.
Obviously I crashed the party that day, and while I won't go into all of the sick and twisted acts of mutilation and violence I saw that evening, I will tell you that I found the evidence I needed to wrap my whole theory together. I saw a man in a freshly decapitated goats head handing out 8-12 oz. containers of what can only be described as toothpaste to each creepy old individual in the forest. The men all drank heavily from a golden challis filled with blood. The blood got them drunk and their old wrinkly man bodies swayed around a dark emerald green fire where they sang drunken fuck songs. But the most sickening sight of all is when they collectively shinned their teeth with the free paste of communist deceit. Then, for me to see the incredible difference it made in their smiles was too much for my stomach to handle.
So I know this is a little creepy but I haven't even gone through the dangerous part yet, which is that those sparkling bright chompers are only incredibly clean because they feed off of you and me. If they stopped feeding off of us, they would have no need for that toothpaste.
Let me ask you this. Who has always had the cleanest teeth all throughout history? Vampires! Vampires have always had stunningly white ivory fangs. These old man billionaires are vampires. Except these vampires don't always hunt people just for their blood, they mainly hunt for power. The more power they extract, the more they crave it. That means whatever little bit of power you have, puts you at risk! These Communist Vampire Billionaires are America's biggest threat. Let's take our country and toothpaste back!
Note: Just a few days ago my informant in Seoul told me that the manufacturing plant that we were investigating is now deserted and destined to be demolished due to building code violations. Fishy????