Chamber says "Die Local!"

[GrendelGravenstein]

Chamber of Commerce unveils newest program: Die Local! <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
In the ongoing effort to support local businesses, the newest promotional program in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:place w:st="on">Sebastopol</st1:place> will focus on the dead and almost dead.

Why not die local?
<o:p></o:p>
If you are going to die, then why not do it in a way that fosters and supports the local economy? Think of it this way – when you die local, you usually are buried, cremated or dumped somewhere locally. Local businesses make money when you die!!! And the infrastructure death provides is enormously beneficial to our local economy! Folks will be buying local foods to make all of those horrid casseroles they foist onto grieving survivors. Not to mention the local flowers needed, the sympathy cards, fancy new outfits, and more. <o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
One chamber staffer claims that the original name for the program was “Die Out Sebastopol” adding; “But we realized rather quickly that that sent a message of mass extinction, which really wasn’t the intention of this whole ‘Go Local’ thing we are doing”.<o:p></o:p>
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So if you are planning on a visit from Death in the very near future; think progressive, think <st1:place w:st="on">Sebastopol</st1:place>, and Die Local!<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
The Chamber also needs an army of volunteers – zombies preferred.<o:p></o:p>
While we are on the subject of the dead and dying, the Sebastopol Area Chamber of Commerce is also looking for zombie volunteers to help staff its Visitor Center. A friendly, helpful attitude, and knowledge of Sebastopol and <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:PlaceName w:st="on">West</st1:PlaceName> <st1:PlaceType w:st="on">County</st1:PlaceType></st1:place> cemeteries are a plus, but more importantly, is a mindless zombie-like ability to perform any task given to you while shuffling across that cute little room they have on <st1:Street w:st="on"><st1:address w:st="on">South Main Street</st1:address></st1:Street>...<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
The Chamber also needs a “cadaver” of volunteers to help work on numerous community and Chamber events such as our new “Die Local” program. For more information you could call Executive Director Teresa Ramondo, but then she might get really really mad at us, so maybe you shouldn’t let her know about this at all…<o:p></o:p>

[wildflower]

Shouldn't this be labeled HUMOR (in the subject line) or be posted in a humor section?

[RussianRiverRattina]

Doesn't Sebastopol have ordinances concerning the ... um ... disposal of corpses? When one considers demographic trends & the rapid aging of our population here in West County, the potential environmental impact of all these future dead people seems rather alarming. Imagine all those buried bodies contaminating the water table, while the air blackens with soot from all those cremations ....

[phooph]

Great! A Go Local that the Sonoma County Go Local Cooperative (https://sonomacounty.golocal.coop/) has not used yet. To keep the website header symmetrical, one more Go Local needs to be invented.


Chamber of Commerce unveils newest program: Die Local! <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
In the ongoing effort to support local businesses, the newest promotional program in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:place w:st="on">Sebastopol</st1:place> will focus on the dead and almost dead.

Why not die local?
<o:p></o:p>
If you are going to die, then why not do it in a way that fosters and supports the local economy? Think of it this way – when you die local, you usually are buried, cremated or dumped somewhere locally. Local businesses make money when you die!!! And the infrastructure death provides is enormously beneficial to our local economy! Folks will be buying local foods to make all of those horrid casseroles they foist onto grieving survivors. Not to mention the local flowers needed, the sympathy cards, fancy new outfits, and more. <o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
One chamber staffer claims that the original name for the program was “Die Out Sebastopol” adding; “But we realized rather quickly that that sent a message of mass extinction, which really wasn’t the intention of this whole ‘Go Local’ thing we are doing”.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
So if you are planning on a visit from Death in the very near future; think progressive, think <st1:place w:st="on">Sebastopol</st1:place>, and Die Local!<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
The Chamber also needs an army of volunteers – zombies preferred.<o:p></o:p>
While we are on the subject of the dead and dying, the Sebastopol Area Chamber of Commerce is also looking for zombie volunteers to help staff its Visitor Center. A friendly, helpful attitude, and knowledge of Sebastopol and <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:PlaceName w:st="on">West</st1:PlaceName> <st1:PlaceType w:st="on">County</st1:PlaceType></st1:place> cemeteries are a plus, but more importantly, is a mindless zombie-like ability to perform any task given to you while shuffling across that cute little room they have on <st1:Street w:st="on"><st1:address w:st="on">South Main Street</st1:address></st1:Street>...<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
The Chamber also needs a “cadaver” of volunteers to help work on numerous community and Chamber events such as our new “Die Local” program. For more information you could call Executive Director Teresa Ramondo, but then she might get really really mad at us, so maybe you shouldn’t let her know about this at all…<o:p></o:p>

[scamperwillow]

This is obviously a joke, but as an outgoing board member of the Sebastopol chamber, I don't find it very funny.

[RussianRiverRattina]

I'm sorry this thread wound up offending you, ScamperWillow. Alas, times are awfully danged tough right now & I'm grateful to GrendelGravenstein & anyone else who makes me laugh.

[justme]

Lighten up and enjoy some humor..... Some are just too serious..... LMAO!!!!

[Hot Compost]

Doesn't Sebastopol have ordinances concerning the ... um ... disposal of corpses? When one considers demographic trends & the rapid aging of our population here in West County, the potential environmental impact of all these future dead people seems rather alarming. Imagine all those buried bodies contaminating the water table, while the air blackens with soot from all those cremations ....

the way our society normally deals with the non-un-dead is fossil-fuel intensive. use up tanks of natural gas to cremate our bodies ? why not return the nutrients to the soil in the form of composting ?

maybe i'll run for City Council on this platform.

no one has said anything about cannibalism yet. :idea:

[phooph]

My mom was a dedicated composter and would tell us to put her in the compost pile when she died, but she's in a box buried on the Dakota prairie, her nutrients denied to the earth.

My darling furry companion of 15 years (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qO5ZjQDzMJs) died in January and I recycled her, sort of. I kept her pelt to pet and put her flesh in my container garden. She produced a bumper crop of peas and with pea season over she will be producing tomatoes and cucumbers. Maybe some day I will make a work of art with her bones.


the way our society normally deals with the non-un-dead is fossil-fuel intensive. use up tanks of natural gas to cremate our bodies ? why not return the nutrients to the soil in the form of composting ?

maybe i'll run for City Council on this platform.

no one has said anything about cannibalism yet. :idea:

[phooph]

My mom was a dedicated composter and would tell us to put her in the compost pile when she died, but she's in a box buried on the Dakota prairie, her nutrients denied to the earth.

My darling furry companion of 15 years (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qO5ZjQDzMJs) died in January and I recycled her, sort of. I kept her pelt to pet and put her flesh in my container garden. She produced a bumper crop of peas and with pea season over she will be producing tomatoes and cucumbers. Maybe some day I will make a work of art with her bones.


the way our society normally deals with the non-un-dead is fossil-fuel intensive. use up tanks of natural gas to cremate our bodies ? why not return the nutrients to the soil in the form of composting ?

maybe i'll run for City Council on this platform.

no one has said anything about cannibalism yet. :idea:

[Geni Houston]

I,too, was alittle offended, Scamperwillow, when I first read the post - primairly because I hear so often "business community" said with a snear which I have never understood.

But then I exchanged the Chamber for a number of other organizations and saw the humor. Read it again and fill in the blanks and you, too, might get a chuckle.

G

[scamperwillow]

OK I agree. I took it as a smear on the chamber's Buy Local program at first, but I do see the humor.



I,too, was alittle offended, Scamperwillow, when I first read the post - primairly because I hear so often "business community" said with a snear which I have never understood.

But then I exchanged the Chamber for a number of other organizations and saw the humor. Read it again and fill in the blanks and you, too, might get a chuckle.

G

[bodegahead]

Mill Valley is getting the jump on us. First Organic Cemetay in the State.
Cemetery Offering Organic Burial Option (https://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1159016/posts)