Several months ago when I was checking out in Oliver's market in Cotati, I was nearly knocked over by a child running with a mini cart for children. I was very shaken because I almost fell, and had to put weight on a fragile hip, prior to hip replacement.
I looked around for a parent. She was at the next checkstand, oblivious to her child. I understand that it's difficult to keep an eye on children who are not confined to the cart seat. I asked to see the manager, and expressed my
concern that these carts are risky to customers, and therefore risky for the store owners. I also mentioned that if I had been knocked down there was a good chance that I would have been seriously injured, and wondered if he or the parent would be liable. He didn't respond to that question, but answered simply "Oh, they're "teaching tools". I use them to teach my children how to shop.
I reponded that the first priority needs to be the customers; it's a store, not a school. And, that it's a natural impulse for children to run with wheeled items. He replied that he'd put a sign near the carts to alert parents to "watch" their children. This is an impossible feat to accomplish.
I know we all multi-task, but how can you have your eyes on your kids and what you are looking for on the shelf or bin?
That was my first experience with "kiddie shoppers". There never was a sign put up, not that it would do any good. My second experience came only 2 weeks later. Again, a woman entered the store with a boy about 4 or 5, and I just happened to be passing the door. He headed for the carts, and she headed for the produce section. He immediately began spinning the cart around in a circle, near me. I quickly moved to avoid being hit, and went up to the mother. I told her that I'd nearly been knocked down only 2 weeks ago. She said "I'll watch him." I took off to the other side of the store, and met up with them again, while he was running ahead of her with the cart. And, she was "watching him".
Now when I go into Oliver's I'm very wary when I see kids with carts. Last week I was in Trader Joe's in Novato, and noticed that they had a new addition....yep...Kiddie carts. Space is already at a premium in these little gourmet stores, but now we have a hazard to watch for while we're struggling to get by adult shoppers in narrow isles. I didn't even bother to talk to the manager, but I'm preparing a letter which will go to any store in my area that has these carts.
While in TJ's, I watched with trepidation, as a young boy pushed a cart at
a fast pace, towards me. I said "Stop running!" and spoke to the man he was with. I said "I think these things are dangerous, and don't think they belong in a store." He just smiled at me, as if I was a nut case.
I'm kind of suprised that no one has been knocked over. Oh, I fogot that I was actually knocked off balance by an adult who pushed a cart right into me, while I was fondling the tomatoes. I would have fallen, but she grabbed me in time to prevent that. But I was still sore a few days later, from muscle strain in my leg and back. But luckily, no whiplash!
I'm thinking that there's a "job" here for someone. My idea is to alert the stores that there will be a "grocery store PI" who will be videotaping kids with carts, along with other hazards I see all the time.
Yesterday I was at the checkstand at Grocery Outlet in Novato. At the beginning of the conveyor belt, there was a 3 level stack of wine. While reaching over to put the divider between our groceries, I nearly knocked over several bottles. I said to myself "this is an accident waiting to happen." So, I talked with the manager about possibly moving it before something happens. He looked at me as if I were speaking another language, and really had no response.
Spilled wine can be cleaned up, but broken glass could be a more serious problem. Why not put something unbreakable for people to reach over, in that spot?
I see these kinds of things everywhere. So, I think to myself...."well, there's another service that could be provided to grocery and other stores
for a monthly fee. A kind of "hazard monitoring" service, which actually could prevent injury and even lawsuits.
With more older and disabled people shopping, sometimes in their own wheeled devices or the store's, it's crucial that these places are as safe as they can be. I can go into any store, and find correctable hazards.
I'd like to know how people (including parents who use kiddie carts) feel about this, and any experiences they have to share. I'm not sure what has caused this rise in kiddie carts. I don't know if it's something that parents have requested, or if it's just a pretty good marketing job which has money not safety, as a priority. The stores must be convinced that parents want this, and I understand why they would. It entertains the little ones as they run around the store, "learning" how to...., now what was that the Oliver's manager said? Oh yeah, how to shop! Isn't it great that we're educating four and five year olds to shop in a market designed for adults, rather than a make believe store like I used to set up to learn that skill, along with Monopoly money so I could actually learn what it really takes to shop!
Comments welcome! The Hazard Vigilante is getting ready to strike!
Sandy Murphey
NudeTea
06-18-2009, 02:09 PM
I'd like to know how people (including parents who use kiddie carts) feel about this
Children are a blessing to the world. They help make the world a fun place to be. They tend to be everywhere I go, and I've learned the importance of being the one to look out for them because it just isn't going to happen the other way around.
"Mad" Miles
06-18-2009, 03:01 PM
I'm going to take the middle ground here.
Carry a cane. At the least you can use it to block the incoming tyke wielded rolling projectile*, at the most you can threaten to bash the offending parent
(you thought I was going to write kid? Perish the thought! Tempting as it sometimes may be...)
over the head for the dire threat they and their progeny present.
* For lessons in the use of a cane as a weapon for self-defense, I recommend the culminating fight scene in "The Killer Elite" (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073240/). Even with a supposed blown knee, James Caan wields a mean walking stick!
Let's keep those stereotypes coming!
The crochety old fogies who can't abide children. "You kids! Get off my lawn!!!"
The crazed post-toddlers threatening to bring down civilization. "Bonk, bonk, bonk the Grups!"
The neglectful, blase parents who are contributing to this social collapse. "Who my little angel? You must mean some other little darling. Mine is so precious they wouldn't conceive of hurting a fly, or using a magnifying glass to burn ants on an anthill, or pulling the tale and ears of a puppy, or ..... I mean, what's wrong with you!"
The oblivious and greedy merchants who only want to profit from the chaos. "Damn the lawsuits, full profit margins ahead!"
Whoohoo, this is as much fun as working in a prison!
Man, do I need these two weeks OFF...
"Mad" Miles
:burngrnbounce:
For the ironically challenged, yes, I'm kidding, mostly.
Ms.(?) Sandy Murphey,
I have some sympathy for your concerns, but you're the adult, they're young children, allbethey ambulatory. Isn't it your responsibility to be on the lookout and to protect yourself from such hazards in public? Also to protect them from any hazards they face? Even the ones they're helping create?
If your post is your effort to do just that, and I can see that you probably think so, perhaps you might distance yourself from your own perspective, pretend you're an able bodied adult, you were one at one time, right?, and re-read it.
Then you might see the elements of absurdity in your post that I responded to above.
I don't mean to be insensitive to your plight. Disability must be disturbing and stressful. Perhaps if I had your physical problems I would agree with you. And the day that I'm likely to be in shoes similar to yours fast approaches.
I'm just not sure you can control all of the threats to your equilibrium, nor the integrity of your epidermis, when out in public, by hectoring store managers and parents.
Creating a system of total surveillance, to nip all threats to health and safety in the bud before they can happen?
Well, haven't we come a long way towards that in the last, oh, let's say, one-hundred years?
How much more social control do you need to feel safe?
And at what price to freedom and spontaneity?
In these regards, I am quite serious.
"M"M
mykil
06-18-2009, 05:59 PM
At least in my store the only thing woman have to watch out for is me! :wink:
I understand what you are saying, if my children acted like this in any store when they were growing up they would not be allowed in the store until we came to some sort of understanding, I was a fare yet firm father. I see this over and over, even with my ex’s children; well all of my exes children half the time I was embarrassed to shop or to even go out with them for that matter, no respect and no one to supervise them as well. AS when I did try to discipline them you almost get your head bitten off, and they wonder why I don’t want to go out anywhere with them! HA! Oh well this is why I am single most likely…
Sandy I would love to meet you sometime, I know you do eBay and I have a junk store! HA again! :idea:
nurturetruth
06-18-2009, 07:15 PM
Several months ago when I was checking out in Oliver's market in Cotati, I was nearly knocked over by a child running with a mini cart for children. I was very shaken because I almost fell, and had to put weight on a fragile hip, prior to hip replacement.
I looked around for a parent. She was at the next checkstand, oblivious to her child. I understand that it's difficult to keep an eye on children who are not confined to the cart seat. I asked to see the manager, and expressed my concern that these carts are risky to customers, and therefore risky for the store owners. I also mentioned that if I had been knocked down there was a good chance that I would have been seriously injured, and wondered if he or the parent would be liable. He didn't respond to that question, but answered simply "Oh, they're "teaching tools". I use them to teach my children how to shop.
With more older and disabled people shopping, sometimes in their own wheeled devices or the store's, it's crucial that these places are as safe as they can be .
Dear Hazard Vigilante:
If I was a manager and heard ur concerns, I would probably consider posting a note on the entrance of the store to hopefully promote awareness , consideration and better monitoring for parents.
Legally,it is up to the company/corporation to provide a safe atmosphere for their beloved "shoppers". If someone got seriously hurt as a result of these kiddie shopping tools/carts, the store could be legally liable.
However, morally it is up to the parents to monitor their child and up to consumers like u to share ur experience.
Stay alert and aware! there are crazy drivers everywhere!
age and vehicle irrelevent .
blessings
bodegahead
06-18-2009, 09:54 PM
Just to weigh in on this one. I`ve got a really bad hip, rebuilt 18 yrs ago, ready for a new one. Some days are fine, others real bad. I go to grocery store maybe 3 or 4 time a week. Safeway, Olivers, Trader Joes and more. Lot`s of places I go have kiddy carts. I don`t recall ever having a near accident experience with any. There are times I have been run into by adults, One I recall was talking on a cell phone (no joke!) Hopefully the youmg ones starting early will learn to conrtol their carts before they move on to the bigger metal ones and maybe they will become better drivers later on. And of course, I should hope that any parent shopping with a child should be aware and see to it that the child is not doing anything hazardous to itself or anyone or anything. An opinion was asked for, this is mine.
Good luck and safe shopping
ripplewindwanders
06-19-2009, 02:22 AM
Well I have to ask. Do you have children? It is wreckless at times but most children respond well to a friendly "be careful honey" or something like that. Especially if someone working at the store says it. Haven't you heard the saying it takes a village to raise a child. The kids love the carts they just need guidance. If you do have a serious injury they also have large riding carts for that. I believe children should be able to play but they have to be guided in a playful manor to behave right. Just a little bit of effort. Some people can't leave their children at home when they shop
Several months ago when I was checking out in Oliver's market in Cotati, I was nearly knocked over by a child running with a mini cart for children. I was very shaken because I almost fell, and had to put weight on a fragile hip, prior to hip replacement.
I looked around for a parent. She was at the next checkstand, oblivious to her child. I understand that it's difficult to keep an eye on children who are not confined to the cart seat. I asked to see the manager, and expressed my
concern that these carts are risky to customers, and therefore risky for the store owners. I also mentioned that if I had been knocked down there was a good chance that I would have been seriously injured, and wondered if he or the parent would be liable. He didn't respond to that question, but answered simply "Oh, they're "teaching tools". I use them to teach my children how to shop.
I reponded that the first priority needs to be the customers; it's a store, not a school. And, that it's a natural impulse for children to run with wheeled items. He replied that he'd put a sign near the carts to alert parents to "watch" their children. This is an impossible feat to accomplish.
I know we all multi-task, but how can you have your eyes on your kids and what you are looking for on the shelf or bin?
That was my first experience with "kiddie shoppers". There never was a sign put up, not that it would do any good. My second experience came only 2 weeks later. Again, a woman entered the store with a boy about 4 or 5, and I just happened to be passing the door. He headed for the carts, and she headed for the produce section. He immediately began spinning the cart around in a circle, near me. I quickly moved to avoid being hit, and went up to the mother. I told her that I'd nearly been knocked down only 2 weeks ago. She said "I'll watch him." I took off to the other side of the store, and met up with them again, while he was running ahead of her with the cart. And, she was "watching him".
Now when I go into Oliver's I'm very wary when I see kids with carts. Last week I was in Trader Joe's in Novato, and noticed that they had a new addition....yep...Kiddie carts. Space is already at a premium in these little gourmet stores, but now we have a hazard to watch for while we're struggling to get by adult shoppers in narrow isles. I didn't even bother to talk to the manager, but I'm preparing a letter which will go to any store in my area that has these carts.
While in TJ's, I watched with trepidation, as a young boy pushed a cart at
a fast pace, towards me. I said "Stop running!" and spoke to the man he was with. I said "I think these things are dangerous, and don't think they belong in a store." He just smiled at me, as if I was a nut case.
I'm kind of suprised that no one has been knocked over. Oh, I fogot that I was actually knocked off balance by an adult who pushed a cart right into me, while I was fondling the tomatoes. I would have fallen, but she grabbed me in time to prevent that. But I was still sore a few days later, from muscle strain in my leg and back. But luckily, no whiplash!
I'm thinking that there's a "job" here for someone. My idea is to alert the stores that there will be a "grocery store PI" who will be videotaping kids with carts, along with other hazards I see all the time.
Yesterday I was at the checkstand at Grocery Outlet in Novato. At the beginning of the conveyor belt, there was a 3 level stack of wine. While reaching over to put the divider between our groceries, I nearly knocked over several bottles. I said to myself "this is an accident waiting to happen." So, I talked with the manager about possibly moving it before something happens. He looked at me as if I were speaking another language, and really had no response.
Spilled wine can be cleaned up, but broken glass could be a more serious problem. Why not put something unbreakable for people to reach over, in that spot?
I see these kinds of things everywhere. So, I think to myself...."well, there's another service that could be provided to grocery and other stores
for a monthly fee. A kind of "hazard monitoring" service, which actually could prevent injury and even lawsuits.
With more older and disabled people shopping, sometimes in their own wheeled devices or the store's, it's crucial that these places are as safe as they can be. I can go into any store, and find correctable hazards.
I'd like to know how people (including parents who use kiddie carts) feel about this, and any experiences they have to share. I'm not sure what has caused this rise in kiddie carts. I don't know if it's something that parents have requested, or if it's just a pretty good marketing job which has money not safety, as a priority. The stores must be convinced that parents want this, and I understand why they would. It entertains the little ones as they run around the store, "learning" how to...., now what was that the Oliver's manager said? Oh yeah, how to shop! Isn't it great that we're educating four and five year olds to shop in a market designed for adults, rather than a make believe store like I used to set up to learn that skill, along with Monopoly money so I could actually learn what it really takes to shop!
Comments welcome! The Hazard Vigilante is getting ready to strike!
Sandy Murphey
ripplewindwanders
06-19-2009, 02:39 AM
quote mykil72]At least in my store the only thing woman have to watch out for is me! :wink:
I'm sure they should.:Um-smile:
\
I understand what you are saying, if my children acted like this in any store when they were growing up they would not be allowed in the store until we came to some sort of understanding, I was a fare yet firm father. I see this over and over, even with my ex’s children; well all of my exes children half the time I was embarrassed to shop or to even go out with them for that matter, no respect and no one to supervise them as well. AS when I did try to discipline them you almost get your head bitten off, and they wonder why I don’t want to go out anywhere with them! HA! Oh well this is why I am single most likely…
Sandy I would love to meet you sometime, I know you do eBay and I have a junk store! HA again! :idea:[/quote]
I So your children never acted up? How many exs' children did you give up on going out with? They all were too hard to handle? Why are people embarrassed about everyday frivilous things. We all were wild children at some point. If you discipline in a playful but strict manner the kids usually roll right along with it. If nothing else workers in the store seem like teachers to kids. I think you probably only get your head bitten off if you still use spanking or physical punishment. I think almost all people agree spanking is a blow to a kids spirit and not acceptable except in the most extreme dangerous places. You can always carry them out if their acting up too much and talk to them. Children want respect to, you have to show them to respect and teach them to give it also. The disipline should be left for the parents, strangers help alot but only in slight conversation. And well if you think leaving the kids all together is an option, your not a parent.
So that's why your most likely single huh, really?
ripplewindwanders
06-19-2009, 02:41 AM
At least in my store the only thing woman have to watch out for is me! :wink:
I'm sure they do. So your children never acted up? How many exs' children did you give up on going out with? They all were too hard to handle? Why are people embarrassed about everyday frivilous things. We all were wild children at some point. If you discipline in a playful but strict manner the kids usually roll right along with it. If nothing else workers in the store seem like teachers to kids. I think you probably only get your head bitten off if you still use spanking or physical punishment. I think almost all people agree spanking is a blow to a kids spirit and not acceptable except in the most extreme dangerous places. Children want respect to, you have to show them to respect and teach them to give it also. The disipline should be left for the parents, strangers help alot but only in slight conversation. And well if you think leaving the kids all together is an option, your not a parent.
I understand what you are saying, if my children acted like this in any store when they were growing up they would not be allowed in the store until we came to some sort of understanding, I was a fare yet firm father. I see this over and over, even with my ex’s children; well all of my exes children half the time I was embarrassed to shop or to even go out with them for that matter, no respect and no one to supervise them as well. AS when I did try to discipline them you almost get your head bitten off, and they wonder why I don’t want to go out anywhere with them! HA! Oh well this is why I am single most likely…
Sandy I would love to meet you sometime, I know you do eBay and I have a junk store! HA again! :idea:
So that's why your most likely single huh, really?
elienos
06-19-2009, 07:03 AM
I think it is great that kids can feel included. We tend to remove children from life for adults sake. Schools are not the best place to learn, society is. I travel often to Mexico, where children are integrated into life and everywhere, and I always feel a little sad when I come back here where they aren't so much.
I think that parents need to be more aware. I also think the community needs to help with the kids too. I think we should stop relying on "authority" to solve our social problems. I would have spoken with that child myself and I may have walked up to that mother and said something to her directly. Often children remember more if someone other than the parent gives them some correction, as kids hear it so much from their parents they often glaze over.
I am not trying to argue with the original posted, just posting another point of view. I understand that it is scary when a near miss injury happens to you! But I don't think that taking an experience away from all children is the answer. It took my daughter a while to learn about using the carts, but she is a better and more aware person for it. She knows she has the choice to relax, eat samples and sit in the cart or be responsible and push a cart and she is only 2 and a half and always sick right behind me with the cart and does a "good job" as she says.
Shandi
06-19-2009, 08:32 AM
I really appreciate all the responses to my posts. I realize that it's my responsibility to be "aware" and watching for any kind of hazard, whether it's broken glass, spilled liquids, etc, wine bottles stacked at the beginning of a checkstand or children running with carts.
The first incident when I was nearly knocked down, was while I was paying at the checkout line. I was facing the checker, and the child came at me from behind. If only, I had those famous "eyes in the back of my head", I could have seen it coming. He grazed the back of my knees enough to buckle them. luckily, I was able to grab the counter to prevent falling.
I would need to be able to see behind me in order to protect myself from being rear ended. Maybe the carts need rear view mirrors?
As for using a cane, I find it impossible when pushing a cart. It's the kind of thing that we're asking parents to do: "shop and watch your kids." (at ALL times) I'd love to be able to stick my cane out in front of the kiddie cart, and watch the horrified parents when they see my
"wreckless" behavior. I may put my cane in the cart, and experiment with your suggestion. I almost always see an opportunity at Olivers.
I'll report my experience. Now, I'm really looking forward to it!
Thanks so much for all your comments. And for all those who are curious. I have been a mother, and I'm not single at the moment for those who wish to know. But things change...........
Sandy (Shandi)
Skook
06-19-2009, 09:39 AM
I'm not single at the moment for those who wish to know. But things change......
I believe Mr. Burns is available, should things change...
Shandi
06-19-2009, 10:11 AM
Hi Mykil,
Thanks for your comments. If only more parents were able to take the responsibility of directing and disciplining their children, but we have to deal with how it is, rather than how we'd like it to be. I see a real lack here, which in turn creates a lack of respect for parents.
I was a very liberal parent, in a way. And yet, in another way I was strict.
When my kids were growing up, the movie Jaws was showing. They were 9 and 10 at the time. I refused to let them see the popular movie. The reason was that they were just beginning to learn surfing, and I didn't want them to become afraid of the ocean. I also didn't let them watch anything that created a fear of nature (insects or animals). They are in their 40's now, and I recently asked them if they ever saw Jaws. They both said they hadn't really wanted to, even when they were able to.
Violence of any kind was also on the list. I'd rather my children saw sex than violence.
They couldn't watch TV while having dinner, unless it was a special program. Dinner was a sacred time to be together and share experiences, thoughts, feelings etc.
Other unusual things in our household:
No curfew: If my kids were going somewhere, I asked them where they were going, and what time they might be home. I figured that it would be a real nuisance to have to keep checking to see what time it was. I knew that it was something I didn't want to do while I was having fun somewhere, unless I had an actual appointment. They always came home at a "reasonable time".
No nagging: I used a timer to enforce "rules", although there weren't many of those. Since they were only allowed to watch 2 hrs. of TV a day, the timer alerted them to the end of that period. I used it to signal bath and bed times also. If they said they weren't "tired", I said "it's o.k. to read in bed until you are." I let them know that I needed time to rest from the day, so they had to be in their bedrooms. Even if they weren't tired; I was!
No dragging them out of bed for school: I got each of them a radio alarm, and they were responsibile for getting up on time. I was not responsible if they were late; they were. They were allowed to stay home from school if they asked, even if they weren't sick. They were hardly ever sick, and although they knew it was o.k. to take a break from school, they
rarely took advantage of that.
No irrational punishment: One time my husband and I went away for the weekend, and my 16 year old son had just gotten his driver's license. He decided to drive several hours to see a friend. (without our permission) He told us about it when we returned, and how stressed he'd been, driving in fog. My husband wanted to ground him for a month, and I said "He's already experienced the consequences of his actions."
My husband used to get angry when the kids spilled their milk or juice, and was ready to whack them, when I said "Who whacks you, when you spill something?"
I tried to treat my kids as I'd like to be treated, with respect and honor for their personal choices. I had read the phrase, "treat your kids like you would your friends." That stuck with me. I repeatedly told them "I believe in you and know that you make wise choices."
People warned me that when the teens hit, that would mean problems. But, it didn't happen. I think because my kids didn't have anything to rebel against. I'd talked with them about sex, and provided protection. I told them not to depend on the girl, but to take responsibility. I talked with them about marijuana, and shared that I'd smoked at times. I told them that it wasn't a bad thing, but probably not good for young kids, and that it
would affect their motivation for school and sports. They knew they could come to me about anything.
One time when it was my bedtime, (I used to go to sleep with my husband every night at the same time.) one of my sons wanted to talk. I told my husband that I'd be staying up later. He didn't get it, and said "can't it wait until tomorrow?" I told him that whenever my kids wanted to talk, I want to be available to them, if I could. He shared a very personal matter that was troubling him. I told him that it was an honor that he trusted me enough to share that.
My sons have their own children now, and are responsible, loving parents, raising them in some of the same ways they were raised. It's the most important job in the world, being in charge of caring for and teaching the young. If we did a better job as parents, Obama wouldn't have such a mess on his hands!
I realize this is more than anyone needs to know, but I was inspired, and that's a little like a kid running with a cart!
Sandy
At least in my store the only thing woman have to watch out for is me! :wink:
I understand what you are saying, if my children acted like this in any store when they were growing up they would not be allowed in the store until we came to some sort of understanding, I was a fare yet firm father. I see this over and over, even with my ex’s children; well all of my exes children half the time I was embarrassed to shop or to even go out with them for that matter, no respect and no one to supervise them as well. AS when I did try to discipline them you almost get your head bitten off, and they wonder why I don’t want to go out anywhere with them! HA! Oh well this is why I am single most likely…
Sandy I would love to meet you sometime, I know you do eBay and I have a junk store! HA again! :idea:
Shandi
06-19-2009, 10:43 AM
My perspective is "Prevention goes a long way in a lot of areas: SAFETY,
HEALTH, UNWANTED PREGNANCY, DISASTERS, ACCIDENTS, COMPUTER CRASHES, etc.
So, what I'm really proposing is about awareness of high potential for risks, and ways it may be prevented. This will only be feasible with kiddie carts is if managers see the potential hazard, as they would a spill. There is no avoiding the fact that an unsupervised kid with a cart is a potential hazard.
Parents can't be forced to do the impossible, "shop and watch".
I realize that I can't eliminate all hazards, but I'm going to do what I can, in addition to being more watchful around the precious little ones. We have the right to shop in safety. That's why they clean up spills, rather than leave them. PREVENTION strikes again!!!
I'm all for freedom and spontaneity, and I'm fine with someone spinning around in a circle with their arms outstretched in a public place, or a child spinning a cart around and around in the store, as long as they don't hit me.
I think surveilliance can be quite useful. Imagine that your car is stolen from a parking lot. A surveillance camera could be helpful in tracking the thief, but it would be so against personal privacy that we don't want it. Could be that we didn't like that old car anyway.....
I will be taking some time to video tape while I'm in the grocery store. So, if you see me, say "hi". You too, might be on "UTube".....
Happy vacation!!!
Sandy
I'm going to take the middle ground here.
Carry a cane. At the least you can use it to block the incoming tyke wielded rolling projectile*, at the most you can threaten to bash the offending parent
(you thought I was going to write kid? Perish the thought! Tempting as it sometimes may be...)
over the head for the dire threat they and their progeny present.
* For lessons in the use of a cane as a weapon for self-defense, I recommend the culminating fight scene in "The Killer Elite" (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073240/). Even with a supposed blown knee, James Caan wields a mean walking stick!
Let's keep those stereotypes coming!
The crochety old fogies who can't abide children. "You kids! Get off my lawn!!!"
The crazed post-toddlers threatening to bring down civilization. "Bonk, bonk, bonk the Grups!"
The neglectful, blase parents who are contributing to this social collapse. "Who my little angel? You must mean some other little darling. Mine is so precious they wouldn't conceive of hurting a fly, or using a magnifying glass to burn ants on an anthill, or pulling the tale and ears of a puppy, or ..... I mean, what's wrong with you!"
The oblivious and greedy merchants who only want to profit from the chaos. "Damn the lawsuits, full profit margins ahead!"
Whoohoo, this is as much fun as working in a prison!
Man, do I need these two weeks OFF...
"Mad" Miles
:burngrnbounce:
For the ironically challenged, yes, I'm kidding, mostly.
Ms.(?) Sandy Murphey,
I have some sympathy for your concerns, but you're the adult, they're young children, allbethey ambulatory. Isn't it your responsibility to be on the lookout and to protect yourself from such hazards in public? Also to protect them from any hazards they face? Even the ones they're helping create?
If your post is your effort to do just that, and I can see that you probably think so, perhaps you might distance yourself from your own perspective, pretend you're an able bodied adult, you were one at one time, right?, and re-read it.
Then you might see the elements of absurdity in your post that I responded to above.
I don't mean to be insensitive to your plight. Disability must be disturbing and stressful. Perhaps if I had your physical problems I would agree with you. And the day that I'm likely to be in shoes similar to yours fast approaches.
I'm just not sure you can control all of the threats to your equilibrium, nor the integrity of your epidermis, when out in public, by hectoring store managers and parents.
Creating a system of total surveillance, to nip all threats to health and safety in the bud before they can happen?
Well, haven't we come a long way towards that in the last, oh, let's say, one-hundred years?
How much more social control do you need to feel safe?
And at what price to freedom and spontaneity?
In these regards, I am quite serious.
"M"M
bodegahead
06-19-2009, 04:26 PM
I`m a full time single dad with a 15. year young daughter try to provide her with what I hope are and believe are good female role models ( I hope that doesn`t sound sexist) and Mother figures. My daughter, and I, are fortunate to have a few who have hung with us thru the many years. So my daugter has about 3 long timers that she has motherly feelings towards. And it`s interesting, all three moms are different. They would all react different to a shopping cart scenario in the store. And it seems that luckilly, my daughter has taken the best traits that each of her moms has to offer to make her a wonderful child that I am truely proud of. I may be a bit of topic now that I think about it, alas my 15 yr younf is a bit beyond the mini shopping cart stage. But, while I`m at it, at 15 she could use even more adult female role models/ friends in her life. There`s some things I`m just not that good at.. . So Sandy, or any of you wonderful women out there are interested in meeting her, you know where to reach me. Thank you and please excuse me if I veered a bit off course
Hi Mykil,
Thanks for your comments. If only more parents were able to take the responsibility of directing and disciplining their children, but we have to deal with how it is, rather than how we'd like it to be. I see a real lack here, which in turn creates a lack of respect for parents.
I was a very liberal parent, in a way. And yet, in another way I was strict.
When my kids were growing up, the movie Jaws was showing. They were 9 and 10 at the time. I refused to let them see the popular movie. The reason was that they were just beginning to learn surfing, and I didn't want them to become afraid of the ocean. I also didn't let them watch anything that created a fear of nature (insects or animals). They are in their 40's now, and I recently asked them if they ever saw Jaws. They both said they hadn't really wanted to, even when they were able to.
Violence of any kind was also on the list. I'd rather my children saw sex than violence.
They couldn't watch TV while having dinner, unless it was a special program. Dinner was a sacred time to be together and share experiences, thoughts, feelings etc.
Other unusual things in our household:
No curfew: If my kids were going somewhere, I asked them where they were going, and what time they might be home. I figured that it would be a real nuisance to have to keep checking to see what time it was. I knew that it was something I didn't want to do while I was having fun somewhere, unless I had an actual appointment. They always came home at a "reasonable time".
No nagging: I used a timer to enforce "rules", although there weren't many of those. Since they were only allowed to watch 2 hrs. of TV a day, the timer alerted them to the end of that period. I used it to signal bath and bed times also. If they said they weren't "tired", I said "it's o.k. to read in bed until you are." I let them know that I needed time to rest from the day, so they had to be in their bedrooms. Even if they weren't tired; I was!
No dragging them out of bed for school: I got each of them a radio alarm, and they were responsibile for getting up on time. I was not responsible if they were late; they were. They were allowed to stay home from school if they asked, even if they weren't sick. They were hardly ever sick, and although they knew it was o.k. to take a break from school, they
rarely took advantage of that.
No irrational punishment: One time my husband and I went away for the weekend, and my 16 year old son had just gotten his driver's license. He decided to drive several hours to see a friend. (without our permission) He told us about it when we returned, and how stressed he'd been, driving in fog. My husband wanted to ground him for a month, and I said "He's already experienced the consequences of his actions."
My husband used to get angry when the kids spilled their milk or juice, and was ready to whack them, when I said "Who whacks you, when you spill something?"
I tried to treat my kids as I'd like to be treated, with respect and honor for their personal choices. I had read the phrase, "treat your kids like you would your friends." That stuck with me. I repeatedly told them "I believe in you and know that you make wise choices."
People warned me that when the teens hit, that would mean problems. But, it didn't happen. I think because my kids didn't have anything to rebel against. I'd talked with them about sex, and provided protection. I told them not to depend on the girl, but to take responsibility. I talked with them about marijuana, and shared that I'd smoked at times. I told them that it wasn't a bad thing, but probably not good for young kids, and that it
would affect their motivation for school and sports. They knew they could come to me about anything.
One time when it was my bedtime, (I used to go to sleep with my husband every night at the same time.) one of my sons wanted to talk. I told my husband that I'd be staying up later. He didn't get it, and said "can't it wait until tomorrow?" I told him that whenever my kids wanted to talk, I want to be available to them, if I could. He shared a very personal matter that was troubling him. I told him that it was an honor that he trusted me enough to share that.
My sons have their own children now, and are responsible, loving parents, raising them in some of the same ways they were raised. It's the most important job in the world, being in charge of caring for and teaching the young. If we did a better job as parents, Obama wouldn't have such a mess on his hands!
I realize this is more than anyone needs to know, but I was inspired, and that's a little like a kid running with a cart!