Virgin Spotted In Sebastopol!

[sd gross]

:pray:Virgin Spotted in Sebastopol
by Rabbit D. Klein

An image of a weeping Virgin of Guadalupe has been drawing crowds of the faithful and the curious to Sebastopol's Safeway parking lot since Ash Wednesday. First noticed by two guests of Apple Valley Convalescent Home, the image usually appears each day in late morning on the rear of the Taqueria Truck parked in the northwest corner of Safeway's front lot, and has attracted visitors from as far south as Ciudad Obregon and as far north as Deadhorse. The visitors have included a Bishop from Mas Tonto, New Mexico and two retired Cardinals (Ozzie Smith and Stan Musial), none of whom can offer a logical explanation for the Virgin's prolonged visit. Dirt and vaporous emissions from the vehicle's exhaust pipe have been suggested as possible explanations for the Her "appearances", but several "pilgrims" swear the image has been responsible for working miracles that have profoundly affected their lives.
"There was a warmth come over my jaw and it felt kind of heavy," said a teary-eyed woman from Klamath Falls, "and when I looked in the mirror - all my teeth had been filled with silver!" I just said, "Lord, you can just do what-alls you want - you can whiten my teeth too!" As she watched, a half-century of yellow faded away. An enraptured man from Dry Creek Valley who had lost a leg in a grape-crushing accident three years ago swears he found the missing limb in a dumpster behind G&G Market in Santa Rosa.
"I was pickin' up some Chinese take-out after spending the morning with the Virgin, and a soft, little girl's voice whispered for me to look in the dumpster," swears 32-year-old Conlee Birch. "It was black and shriveled but I could tell from the tattoo on the webbing between the second and third toes, it had to be mine!" Birch confides he'll probably never walk on it again, but "just to have it home once again, livin' with me," is enough to cheer him, not to mention bolstering his faith. "I could wrap it in canvas and kinda let the cats scratch on it," he offered. "Put the damn thing to some use."
Jorge O'Shea, the Taqueria truck's operator, says he's never met the Virgin of Guadalupe so he's "Not sure if it's really her." The image disappears each evening when he parks in front of his High Street residence, says O'Shea, but somehow magically reappears each morning after he pulls into his Safeway parking spot. "I had an artichoke that looked like Yasser Arafat once ," O'Shea explains, "but the goat ate it!" The really strange thing, he goes on to explain, was "when that goat relieved himself the next morning, every one of those little pellets looked exactly like Arafat, too."

[Barry]

:pray:Virgin Spotted in Sebastopol



You missed one, Mykil!

[Homomasculine man]

I wonder if I, a confirmed male faggot and requivering Catholic, could write such a satire about Judaism without being called out as "anti-Semitic." Fun is fun, but as much a "Catholic" as anyone else is a "Jew" or a "Protestant" or a "Muslim," I think that this disrespect to the Virgin, who represents, after all, Christianity's millennia-long concern for women (no matter what you think!) is beneath the dignity of the Wacco world. (Or is it?) It also seems, rather, can I point out, anti-Hispanic!

[MsTerry]

You missed the fact that it was another slant against Palestinians.


I wonder if I, a confirmed male faggot and requivering Catholic, could write such a satire about Judaism without being called out as "anti-Semitic." Fun is fun, but as much a "Catholic" as anyone else is a "Jew" or a "Protestant" or a "Muslim," I think that this disrespect to the Virgin, who represents, after all, Christianity's millennia-long concern for women (no matter what you think!) is beneath the dignity of the Wacco world. (Or is it?) It also seems, rather, can I point out, anti-Hispanic!

[Sylph]

It seems to me that Catholics (at least the ones I know) have a pretty good sense of humor and aren't that easily offended by jokes and parody.
You never hear about Jews seeing Moses and the burning bush on a piece of toast or on a moldy wall...therefore, a parody of that wouldn't fly. There are jokes about Jews, however, often told by Jews. They seem to have a healthy sense of humor, as well.
Catholic Jokes (https://www.fisheaters.com/jokes.html)



You missed the fact that it was another slant against Palestinians.

[pjpete]

I would be willing to see Moses and the Burning Bush on a piece of Toast.....:thumbsup:

It seems to me that Catholics (at least the ones I know) have a pretty good sense of humor and aren't that easily offended by jokes and parody.
You never hear about Jews seeing Moses and the burning bush on a piece of toast or on a moldy wall...therefore, a parody of that wouldn't fly. There are jokes about Jews, however, often told by Jews. They seem to have a healthy sense of humor, as well.
Catholic Jokes (https://www.fisheaters.com/jokes.html)

[pjpete]

Is that Taco truck as Safeway today? I would like to check it out.... I am always up for a Miracle . . . :pray:

:pray:Virgin Spotted in Sebastopol
by Rabbit D. Klein

An image of a weeping Virgin of Guadalupe has been drawing crowds of the faithful and the curious to Sebastopol's Safeway parking lot since Ash Wednesday. ...

[MsTerry]

Sylph, I know you have a good sense of humor, but this one is obvious a stab, probable by a Jew (Klein) at a Palestinian.
There have been reports of apparitions of Jesus or Mary or the Pope, but not of mere mortals.
If the joke had stayed with the subject at hand, the apparition would have been of the Virgin and not of Arafat.
Then the association of shit would have been with Mary.
The name Arafat evokes images of Palestinians, the PLO, freedom fighters but you would be hard to find one person equating Yassar with Catholicism.
I think the ADL would have a fit if Golda Meir was sighted coming out of that goats A.


It seems to me that Catholics (at least the ones I know) have a pretty good sense of humor and aren't that easily offended by jokes and parody.
You never hear about Jews seeing Moses and the burning bush on a piece of toast or on a moldy wall...therefore, a parody of that wouldn't fly. There are jokes about Jews, however, often told by Jews. They seem to have a healthy sense of humor, as well.
Catholic Jokes (https://www.fisheaters.com/jokes.html)

[Sylph]

You're overthinking it...it's a joke. But, you're right, he should'a stuck with the Mary theme, IMO. That part was my favorite.
Palestinians used to tell jokes about Arafat. I suppose it's only OK to tell them if you are actually a Palestinian...

Sharif Kanaana is a seventy-year-old Palestinian ethnologist at the Bir Zeit University in Ramallah. His specialty is Palestinian oral history, narrated history as it appears in the mouth of the people and vanishes.

For fifteen years Kanaana has observed how much Palestinians communicate through jokes and anecdotes. He has compiled thousands of them in boxes and on file cards. Until recently the most popular were Palestinian Arafat jokes. Kanaana can tell hundreds of them.

"I want a Palestinian state," Arafat says to God, who wishes to fulfill a wish for him. God hummed and hawed. "It will not happen in your lifetime, Arafat." "I want Jerusalem." "Nor will this happen in your lifetime, Arafat." "Then at least I want to be as good-looking as George Clooney." "Arafat!" says God, "that won't even happen in my lifetime."
Qantara.de - Sharif Kanaana on the Palestinian Sense of Humor (https://www.qantara.de/webcom/show_article.php/_c-478/_nr-235/_p-1/)


Sylph, I know you have a good sense of humor, but this one is obvious a stab, probable by a Jew (Klein) at a Palestinian.
There have been reports of apparitions of Jesus or Mary or the Pope, but not of mere mortals.
If the joke had stayed with the subject at hand, the apparition would have been of the Virgin and not of Arafat.
Then the association of shit would have been with Mary.
The name Arafat evokes images of Palestinians, the PLO, freedom fighters but you would be hard to find one person equating Yassar with Catholicism.
I think the ADL would have a fit if Golda Meir was sighted coming out of that goats A.

[MsTerry]

You're overthinking it...it's a joke. But, you're right, he should'a stuck with the Mary theme, IMO. That part was my favorite.
Palestinians used to tell jokes about Arafat. I suppose it's only OK to tell them if you are actually a Palestinian...
I have no problem with jokes about Arafat, it was the context that I thought was gratuitous.
Yours was funny, and it exposes an universal sense of what people consider to be attractive.
They once did a worldwide study and found a common thread in what is considered beautiful in most continents.
The Australian Aborigines consider themselves not very attractive, and that might explain their withdrawn lifestyle.

ps. this is the first time someone accuses me of thinking to much on this board! :thumbsup:
LOL

[bodegahead]

Thinking to much seems to be potentially harmful to a healthy sense of humor. I respect peoples beliefs and feelings. I did not find the piece hurtful and feel sorry for anyone who woukd feel hurt or disrespected over somthing so trivial.

[soulange]

thanks, i haven't laughed so much for a long time.

[MsTerry]

Everybody has different sensitivities.
Some people feel disrespected when people, who put their lives on the line to keep the streets safe from irresponsible drivers, inconvenience them for a few minutes.
Go figure.

PS
It's a contradiction to say you respect somebody's feelings and then to continue and say you feel sorry for them especially since it is so trivial (to you).
What kind of respect is that?


Thinking to much seems to be potentially harmful to a healthy sense of humor. I respect peoples beliefs and feelings. I did not find the piece hurtful and feel sorry for anyone who woukd feel hurt or disrespected over somthing so trivial.

[Homomasculine man]

How did this "joke" about the Blessed Virgin Mary become a discussion about Jews and Palestinians? Whatever was the "Mid-East" end goal of the architecture of this nasty posting, it is scurrilous to trash the Virgin Mary (who symbolizes the female for Catholics); it is scurrilous to trash the simple faith (even if superstitious) of ethnic peoples who cling to the Virgin for hope; it is, simply, scurrilous to fight a Jew-Palestinian issue by dragging in and trashing the Catholic Virgin who dates back to the pre-Christian Dana, and all the other Earth Mothers. In Sebastopol, we all protest too much that we "worship" simple folk and the earth, and then we make effing stupid faux pas like this "joke"? If the Catholic Defamation League doesn't object, then the Hispanic Defamation League should, and certainly all those who worship the God named "Green and Sustainable" should also object to the ridicule inherent in this intolerant mindset that has of late begun to infect Sebastopol. In the bad taste of this "joke," does the "progressive" WaccoBB become more like the polar sibling of the Press Democrat with its comments from deranged readers with their conservative, hateful, and bullying agenda? Put the face of Buddha or Jehovah or Mohammed on a piece of toast at a taco wagon, and wait for the reaction to hit the fan. Do Muslim riots and threats to the media mean nothing vis a vis this trashing where what is dared against the Virgin would not be dared elsewhere against Mohammed (or Jehovah) for fear of reprisal. Shame. Shame. And shame.

[MsTerry]

I am not sure if you are serious or are just trying to pull my leg. :hmmm:
Arafat was the butt of this joke ( no pun intended)
Arafat is a Palestinian.
The author is jewish


How did this "joke" about the Blessed Virgin Mary become a discussion about Jews and Palestinians? Whatever was the "Mid-East" end goal of the architecture of this nasty posting, it is scurrilous to trash the Virgin Mary (who symbolizes the female for Catholics); it is scurrilous to trash the simple faith (even if superstitious) of ethnic peoples who cling to the Virgin for hope; it is, simply, scurrilous to fight a Jew-Palestinian issue by dragging in and trashing the Catholic Virgin who dates back to the pre-Christian Dana, and all the other Earth Mothers. In Sebastopol, we all protest too much that we "worship" simple folk and the earth, and then we make effing stupid faux pas like this "joke"? If the Catholic Defamation League doesn't object, then the Hispanic Defamation League should, and certainly all those who worship the God named "Green and Sustainable" should also object to the ridicule inherent in this intolerant mindset that has of late begun to infect Sebastopol. In the bad taste of this "joke," does the "progressive" WaccoBB become more like the polar sibling of the Press Democrat with its comments from deranged readers with their conservative, hateful, and bullying agenda? Put the face of Buddha or Jehovah or Mohammed on a piece of toast at a taco wagon, and wait for the reaction to hit the fan. Do Muslim riots and threats to the media mean nothing vis a vis this trashing where what is dared against the Virgin would not be dared elsewhere against Mohammed (or Jehovah) for fear of reprisal. Shame. Shame. And shame.

[Mallory]

You missed one, Mykil!

sheesh -- men...

Every woman knows that after 24 hours without sex a woman's cherry grows back, restoring her to pristine pre-coital condition -- just like a man's 'massive oak' shrivels to its acornic virginal state... Virgins are everywhere...lusting...

Mallory :fairy:

[sd gross]

The following is from BBC America News and accompanying the piece are several references to similar "sightings" from Australia to Africa.
I'm sorry, Homomasculine, that I missed your "confirmation", but...go quiver!
Continuing my "rapid decline"
Rabbit D. Klein

Tuesday, 23 November, 2004, 11:54 GMT
'Virgin Mary' toast fetches $28,000


The toast is not intended for consumption
A decade-old toasted cheese sandwich said to bear an image of the Virgin Mary has sold on the eBay auction website for $28,000.
An internet casino confirmed it had purchased the sandwich, saying it had become a "part of pop culture".
Goldenpalace.com says it will take the sandwich on world tour before selling it and donating the money to charity.
Diane Duyser, from Florida, says the sandwich has never gone mouldy since she made it 10 years ago.
By the time the sandwich auction closed on Monday the sale had received over 1.7 million hits on the auction site.
'Mystical power'
"We will definitely use the sandwich to raise money for charity, and we hope it will raise people's spirits as well," said Richard Rowe, the casino's CEO.
"With the... thousands of search engine queries, it is obvious that this is something people want to know more about... and Golden Palace will help spread the word.
"We believe that everyone should be able to see it and learn of its mystical power for themselves."
Last week, Mrs Duyser told reporters the sandwich had brought her luck - including winnings of $70,000 at a casino near her Florida home.


I went to take a bite out of it, and then I saw this lady looking back at me. I hollered for [my husband]. It scared me at first


Diane Duyser
Mrs Duyser says she noticed the image burned into her sandwich as she was about to tuck into it in autumn 1994.
"I went to take a bite out of it, and then I saw this lady looking back at me," she said, according to the Chicago Tribune newspaper.
"I hollered for him," she said, gesturing to her husband, Greg. "It scared me at first."
She says she has done nothing to preserve the sandwich except keeping it in a plastic box, but "it doesn't fall apart or crumble or anything".
Nevertheless, before auctioning her sandwich Mrs Duyser cautioned buyers that it was "not intended for consumption".
The item has inspired sellers to place dozens of spin-off items on the online auction site, including attempts at replica burnt toast, T-shirts, ornamental plates, and domain names.
One seller is even offering a "Virgin Mary" sandwich toaster - though the item description includes the caveat that the item "may or may not reproduce the Virgin Mary image".

[MsTerry]

That ain't Mary, that's Shirley Temple!



I went to take a bite out of it, and then I saw this lady looking back at me. I hollered for [my husband].

[Sylph]

I think the cheese toast above looks more like Marlene Dietrich, with something like a small roast chicken in front of her (I must be hungry).

I would be impressed if I found Darwin's image on my toast, but I wouldn't really be looking for it. He'd have to reach out from his doughy imprint and rap me on the nose. Would anyone pay for it, though?

[MsTerry]

I would be impressed if I found Darwin's image on my toast, but I wouldn't really be looking for it. He'd have to reach out from his doughy imprint and rap me on the nose. Would anyone pay for it, though?
Yeah, i would pay to see your face when you found out that Darwin was just another illusion.

[pjpete]

I think that Ms. Meir climbed up a goats A, that's what I think........:hmmm:

Sylph, I know you have a good sense of humor, but this one is obvious a stab, probable by a Jew (Klein) at a Palestinian.
There have been reports of apparitions of Jesus or Mary or the Pope, but not of mere mortals.
If the joke had stayed with the subject at hand, the apparition would have been of the Virgin and not of Arafat.
Then the association of shit would have been with Mary.
The name Arafat evokes images of Palestinians, the PLO, freedom fighters but you would be hard to find one person equating Yassar with Catholicism.
I think the ADL would have a fit if Golda Meir was sighted coming out of that goats A.

[Dixon]

Dude, grow a sense of humor, for Chrissakes!

People have a right to their superstitious beliefs, but they don't have a right to expect that those who don't share their beliefs will act respectfully of gods they don't believe even exist. People who can't take a joke, including jokes about whatever gods they believe in, even to the point of wanting to censor those around them or to attack them for harmless jokes, are intolerant.

"Shame shame" right back at ya.

Dixon


How did this "joke" about the Blessed Virgin Mary become a discussion about Jews and Palestinians? Whatever was the "Mid-East" end goal of the architecture of this nasty posting, it is scurrilous to trash the Virgin Mary (who symbolizes the female for Catholics); it is scurrilous to trash the simple faith (even if superstitious) of ethnic peoples who cling to the Virgin for hope; it is, simply, scurrilous to fight a Jew-Palestinian issue by dragging in and trashing the Catholic Virgin who dates back to the pre-Christian Dana, and all the other Earth Mothers. In Sebastopol, we all protest too much that we "worship" simple folk and the earth, and then we make effing stupid faux pas like this "joke"? If the Catholic Defamation League doesn't object, then the Hispanic Defamation League should, and certainly all those who worship the God named "Green and Sustainable" should also object to the ridicule inherent in this intolerant mindset that has of late begun to infect Sebastopol. In the bad taste of this "joke," does the "progressive" WaccoBB become more like the polar sibling of the Press Democrat with its comments from deranged readers with their conservative, hateful, and bullying agenda? Put the face of Buddha or Jehovah or Mohammed on a piece of toast at a taco wagon, and wait for the reaction to hit the fan. Do Muslim riots and threats to the media mean nothing vis a vis this trashing where what is dared against the Virgin would not be dared elsewhere against Mohammed (or Jehovah) for fear of reprisal. Shame. Shame. And shame.

[Dixon]

I think the cheese toast above looks more like Marlene Dietrich, with something like a small roast chicken in front of her...

I'm with you on that interpretation, Sylph--Dietrich or some other Hollywood star from the 30s or 40s. But of course, people's emotional/"spiritual" needs wouldn't be satisfied with an image of some bygone actress on their toast, tortilla or refrigerator rust-spot; they need to project their fave deity onto it in order to get the spiritual rush--and maybe some $$ besides.

This tendency to project meaningful images into random patterns, such as seeing faces in clouds or on toast, is called pareidolia. It's a natural human tendency. It only becomes pathetic when people actually believe it has profound significance--and more pathetic when the suckers shell out $$ for it. Certainly it deserves to be joked about, whether some folks like it or not.

Dixon

[MsTerry]

H-man,
consider the source, here is some info for you.

How can troll posts be recognised?

No Imagination - Most are frighteningly obvious; sexist comments on nurses' groups, blasphemy on religious groups .. I kid you not.
Pedantic in the Extreme - Many trolls' preparation is so thorough, that while they waste time, they appear so ludicrous from the start that they elicit sympathetic mail - the danger is that once the group takes sides, the damage is done.
False Identity - Because they are cowards, trolls virtually never write over their own name, and often reveal their trolliness (and lack of imagination) in the chosen ID. As so many folk these days use false ID, this is not a strong indicator on its own!
Off-topic posting - Often genuine errors, but, if from an 'outsider' they deserve matter-of-fact response; if genuine, a brief apposite response is simply netiquette; if it's a troll post, you have denied it its reward.
Repetition of a question or statement is either a troll - or a pedant; either way, treatment as a troll is effective.
Missing The Point - Trolls rarely answer a direct question - they cannot, if asked to justify their twaddle - so they develop a fine line in missing the point.
Thick or Sad - Trolls are usually sad, lonely folk, with few social skills; they rarely make what most people would consider intelligent conversation. However, they frequently have an obsession with their IQ and feel the need to tell everyone. This is so frequent, that it is diagnostic!

Dude, grow a sense of humor, for Chrissakes!

People have a right to their superstitious beliefs, but they don't have a right to expect that those who don't share their beliefs will act respectfully of gods they don't believe even exist. People who can't take a joke, including jokes about whatever gods they believe in, even to the point of wanting to censor those around them or to attack them for harmless jokes, are intolerant.

"Shame shame" right back at ya.

Dixon

[pjpete]

OH GEE, OH GOSH......:lame:


sheesh -- men...

Every woman knows that after 24 hours without sex a woman's cherry grows back, restoring her to pristine pre-coital condition -- just like a man's 'massive oak' shrivels to its acornic virginal state... Virgins are everywhere...lusting...

Mallory :fairy:

[sd gross]

To Those Whom I've Offended,

Dear Folks

Ever since I could string words together, I've been a compulsive Button Pusher. Maybe it's because I found people too unresponsive and needed to get a reaction from them. How else could I read their vitals and see what makes them tick (or perhaps, causes their tic)?
It followed then, that choking in the exhaust of one of my wooly diatribes, there always followed an Apologia - ie." I"m truly sorry if I yada yada yada..."
But this was neither productive, constructive or instructive. So my advice now is, respectfully, get over it.
If you have unshakeable faith in yourselves and your beliefs, that should suffice to insulate & protect you against any attacks from a perceived Army of Lampooners and Wags - or Killer Klowns From Outer Space.
My God is neither a petty God, a vengeful God, or a God without humor. I'm sure She has one arm lovingly wrapped around Richard Pryor, and another wrapped around Lenny Bruce while enjoying a foot rub from H.L. Mencken. She loves irony, satire, and the absurd, and revels in chaos cohabitating with order. And she agrees with Tim Leary that blowing someone's mind is akin to treating them to a religious experience.
My little "observation" was neither mean spirited (or terribly original). If you don't like reading my drivel, go make some of your own.
Love, stephen

(...and here then, to get things rolling, is a little assist for PJPETE, who might find it easier to see the below images in his mind's eye if he had pictures to look at.)

"I think that Ms. Meir climbed up a goats A, that's what I think......"

"I would be willing to see Moses and the Burning Bush on a piece of Toast...."

[bodegahead]

Oh such a beautiful day. From the sand to the surf to the sky I saw gods and godesses everywhere. To the point of where I did`nt feel bad about missing church this morning.What I saw in my bar b qued oyster almost got me down on my knees in praise. And that`s a true story.

[pjpete]

Oh Geeeeeez, at first I was pleased that our Holy Mother, the Mother of our one and only savior, Jesus, was gracing us with her appearances at the Sebastopol Safeway store on a Taco truck. How glorious this would be. Then, of course Ms. Terry just had to bring the whole state of Israel into the fro..... However, in my opinion there is nothing miraculous about the Israel, and it's shenanigans. There is nothing miraculous about Palestine either. Ms. Meir can in no way ever compare to our Holy Mary Mother of God. Therefore, I just wanted to express my feelings on that matter...:thumbsup:

To Those Whom I've Offended,

Dear Folks

Ever since I could string words together, I've been a compulsive Button Pusher. Maybe it's because I found people too unresponsive and needed to get a reaction from them. How else could I read their vitals and see what makes them tick (or perhaps, causes their tic)?
It followed then, that choking in the exhaust of one of my wooly diatribes, there always followed an Apologia - ie." I"m truly sorry if I yada yada yada..."
But this was neither productive, constructive or instructive. So my advice now is, respectfully, get over it.
If you have unshakeable faith in yourselves and your beliefs, that should suffice to insulate & protect you against any attacks from a perceived Army of Lampooners and Wags - or Killer Klowns From Outer Space.
My God is neither a petty God, a vengeful God, or a God without humor. I'm sure She has one arm lovingly wrapped around Richard Pryor, and another wrapped around Lenny Bruce while enjoying a foot rub from H.L. Mencken. She loves irony, satire, and the absurd, and revels in chaos cohabitating with order. And she agrees with Tim Leary that blowing someone's mind is akin to treating them to a religious experience.
My little "observation" was neither mean spirited (or terribly original). If you don't like reading my drivel, go make some of your own.
Love, stephen

(...and here then, to get things rolling, is a little assist for PJPETE, who might find it easier to see the below images in his mind's eye if he had pictures to look at.)

"I think that Ms. Meir climbed up a goats A, that's what I think......"

"I would be willing to see Moses and the Burning Bush on a piece of Toast...."

[hales]

I think I saw that Moses dude at the farmer's market, yesterday, waiting in line buy a tamale.. ; )

scott.


"I would be willing to see Moses and the Burning Bush on a piece of Toast...."

[sd gross]

:angel:You know how Taco Wagons and Espresso Wagons bring burritos and lattes to those who are unable to otherwise make it to a permanently-located Taqueria or Cafe? And how there are folk who will truck their portable hottub to your lawn party?
For those who wish to experience the thrill of celebrating the V. O. G.'s presence and can't actually make the long, hard pilgrimage to Sebastopol, there are those who will actually truck her to you!